Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #392 by Keith Channing

December 27, 2022December 26, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

Link to Keith’s post https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/12/26/kreative-kue-392/

The photo.

“I say, Reggie. Any sightings?”

“Fraid not Oliver. Nothing all day.”

“A shame, mate.”

“Well, there is a positive side.”

“Yeah, and what’s that?”

“The hawk we don’t see today is the surprise for tomorrow.”

“You make that up?”

“Sorta.”

“Well, it’s crap.”

“Oh my. Why’s that?”

“In my mind, the hawk we don’t see today is one less hawk. Period.”

“You know, that’s a very pessimistic way to look at it.”

“I prefer the word realistic.”

“Hold on.”

“What?”

“I see a red tail banking over the lagoon.”

“What a sight that must be.”

“You can say that again.”

“What a sight—”

“Very funny. He’s headed right at me.”

“Does he see you?”

“It almost looks like he does. He has something in his beak.”

“Something like what?”

“Rolled up paper. Whoa, he just swooped over and dropped the paper.”

“Go get it.”

“On my way.”

“You back yet? Hello, Reggie. You back? Reggie?”

“Yeah I’m back. Give me a second to unroll the paper. Okay, it’s a message.”

“What does it say?”

“Attention hawk watchers. We are no longer going to be the subject of observation. We are tired of the prying eyes constantly intruding on our daily lives. The hawks of the world are united, and nothing you can offer will bring us out of seclusion.”

“Boy, that is pretty harsh. You think they mean it?”

“Sounds like they do.”

“Can you communicate with them?”

“I have in the past. One on one only, though.”

“Well try again. Tell them we are prepared to offer substantial sums for visual sightings.”

“They probibly will reject money.”

“Offer corn or dead mice. I don’t care. We need to see them again.”

“Hold on. I have the hawk leader on the other line.”

“Okay I’ll stand bye.”

“Hey Oliver.”

“Yes Reggie.”

“The hawk leader says he’ll take a year’s supply of corn and mice.”

“Where we going to get a year’s supply?”

“Maybe he’ll accept installments.”

“You know how we are going to catch the mice?”

“Yeah. The cats will help.”

“Thought they were on strike for a vegan diet demand.”

“Oh dear. Maybe some traps.”

“Remember the cows are on a sabbatical so no cheese.”

“Is it my imagination or have we lost control?”

“Never should have let ’em all enroll in college.”

“We can say that now, but it might be too late.”

“Do we really have to sight hawks?”

“I was thinking the same thing.”

“Tell him to shove it.”

“Good choice of words, sir.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Cozy.”

December 24, 2022December 23, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

The sound of coffee being produced by the AI that is the cursed machine brings a feeling of joy to the heart. It is coffee that seals the overall cozy feeling that life is worth living. Without coffee, a barren wasteland that is barely existence unfolds in front of even the most optimistic soul.

Lucky for me, the machine decides to grant me one more day of bliss. Cup in hand and sip in mouth swallowed, a call goes out to Pepe Le Peu. “Oui Monsieur.” A spin in the direction of the answer reveals Pepe standing in the kitchen. The olfactory message sent to the brain is acknowledged with a nose hold.

Explaining to Pepe that he needs to put on a parachute takes a level of time that could only be described as excruciating. The thick oily scent from his glands is almost too much for the gag response. Finally, a promise of a robe designed by Resa achieves the goal. Unbeknownst to Pepe, the robe doubles as a parachute. Once he is airborne after being shot from the Trebuchet, the robe will gently bring him to Earth.

All is well as the rocket is nestled in the ballista, and Pepe is at ease in the Trebuchet. (sneaking Zanax into his coffee was my idea) He hands me an envelope just before I hit the launch button, which sends the rocket and Pepe screaming off into parts unknown but at least four streets away.

The envelope has a message from Linda Hill. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “cozy.'” Use it any way you like. Have fun! (And Merry Christmas if I don’t come back before then!)

If you want to join, our crew visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here’s the link https://lindaghill.com/2022/12/23/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-24-2022/

“Well, that was a solution.”

“Yeah. Glad to get rid of the rocket and Pepe.”

“You are lucky your readers care enough to send suggestions.”

“Believe me, I know.”

“Otherwise, you would have to write yourself out of trouble.”

“Yeah. Could be a problem.”

“So this is Christmas eve.”

“Yes, it is. What are your plans.”

“Um, I think I’m going to cozy down, build a fire and watch a movie.”

“That sounds terrific, but you’ll be alone. Why not join us for Christmas eve?”

“Hmm. I don’t want to put you out.”

“Oh, stop. Since when does that happen?”

“Well, I can be a pain.”

“So true, but we can take it.”

“Let me think about it.”

“While you are thinking, consider two words.”

“Which two?”

“VooDoo Ranger.”

“Sold.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #391 by Keith Channing

December 20, 2022December 19, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

The link to Keith’s post. https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/12/19/kreative-kue-391/

The photo.

“Where are you?”

“Standing on the corner by this green pole on Wayfair street.”

“What’s the cross street.”

“All I see is one sign.”

“What does it say?”

“One way.”

“Yeah, that helps. Can you give me anything that would pinpoint your location?”

“I have a red purse.”

“I mean a landmark.”

“The First National Bank, you mean?”

“Okay, is the bank in front of you or behind you?”

“Behind me.”

“Ah, I think I see you.”

“Terrific.”

“But I must go around the block ’cause I can’t get over.”

“Oh, just take your time. No rush at all.”

“You are being sarcastic, right?”

“You sure pick up stuff quickly for an idiot.”

“Now, now. This could happen to anyone.”

“NOT TO SOMEONE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GET-A-WAY DRIVER; IT DOESN’T.”

“Okay, be calm. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“I sure hope it’s before the cops do.”

“Don’t worry, they’re behind me.”

“Wonderful.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Anyway”

December 17, 2022December 23, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 65 Comments

Anyway. It seems like a long wait for the machine to build that delicious, frothy, steaming cup of soothing syrup. Other activities can occur while hoping for a total lack of technical hick-up that delays delivery. Shopping online can go uninterrupted while the snorts and creaks of the machine verify continued operation. Finally, the aroma of the liquid fills the air as the cursed AI master delivers the goods.

Grabbing the cup and the first sip reminds me of the continued worry in the backyard. Pepe has been working for a week on setting up the ballista to launch the rocket out of the yard. Then, last week, the comments section produced Resa’s suggestion that the Trebuchet could launch the skunk after the missile is gone.

Such a possibility will bring welcome relief to my sanity and olfactories. The only flea in the ointment is devising a plan to get Pepe to sit in the Trebuchet for a moment before release. Also, a consideration must be made for Pepe’s safety since he will fall at a velocity that could produce injuries. A parachute of some kind would do the trick. So, the next problem will be getting Pepe to put on the chute before sitting on the Trebuchet.

As the furrows in my brow threaten my vision, the warm scent of Pepe fills the living room air. “Pardon, Monsieur, but the ballista is loaded and ready for take-off.” Trying to keep as much distance from Pepe as possible, I nod. He places an envelope on an end table and raises his eyebrows. “Let me read this. and then we will go out to inspect the ballista. Holding my breath and moving slowly, the envelope is scooped off the table. Once opened, it reveals a message from Linda Hill. It reads. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “start your post or one paragraph with the word ‘anyway.'” Bonus points if you start your post with “anyway” and regular points if you use it in a paragraph somewhere else in your post. Enjoy!

If you would like to participate in this exercise of fantasy, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/12/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-17-2022/

“Anyway, you did get the bonus points.”

“Yes indeed. Nailed that sucker.”

“So what are you going to do about the skunk?”

“As you read, I have a plan.”

“That skunk will empty his stink tanks on you if you try to put him in a parachute.”

“I know. So, there has to be a way to trick him.”

“You know your neighbor has a black and white cat.”

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you outfit it with a parachute and then convince Pepe that they could go skydiving together.”

“Hmm. Not a bad plan. How do we keep the cat calm?”

“Sheesh, what am I? The military joint chiefs? That’s your problem.”

“Yeah, okay. Just thought you had an idea.”

“Give it some beer. I don’t know.”

“Wait a minute. How about some catnip?”

“Now you’re talking. Drug the cat.”

“It is not like drugs. They just love it, that is all. All Pepe has to see is the cat in the chute. The catnip will keep her happy.”

“And distracted from the chute.”

“Exactly.”

“Speaking of distracted, isn’t it time for the Pub run?”

“You want to stay here. I just got a twelve-pack of VooDoo Ranger Imperial.”

“Not sure twelve will be enough.”

“Trust me, it will.”

“How do you know?”

“Imperial is 9% Alcohol. Six for you is more than enough.”

“I’ll take your word. Got snacks?”

“Goldfish and peanuts.”

“Perfect.”

“And the price is right.”

“Even better.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Dict.”

December 10, 2022December 16, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

Another night of worry about a random rocket seems to dissipate with the first sip from the fresh hot mug in my hand. All too soon, it is time to figure out what to do with the rocket, though. To that end, a visit to the bathtub has thankfully verified that Pepe La Peu has decamped. Just where he has gone is anyone’s guess.

“Monsieur le Owner.” It is Pepe standing by the door to the backyard. My response is a cool acknowledgment of his presence. He begins to tell me about his action plan, and he is temporarily halted by my upraised hand. “So we are clear, I would like you to dictate your plan into my phone.” A frown crosses his furry forehead. “Mais oui but let me ask why?”

My assurance that we need to fuly understand his plan seems to assuage his concern. He takes my phone and describes the ignition procedure. My hand goes up again. “Oui monsier?” My explanation of the home owners Association rules about igniting rockets with in the community falls on understanding years. “You have a Trebuchet as part of your security system, no?” He goes on to explain that he will use the Trebuchet to loft the rocket out of the neighborhood and then commence with the ignition sequence.

The point is made by me that the Trecuchet might be too small to handle the rocket and suggested the larger ballista might be a better choice. In fact the ballista is scheduled to be delivered today by Amazon Prime.

Pepe agree to wait for the ballista and said he had a text on his phone from Linda Hill. Looking over his shoulder the text reads. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “dict.” Find a word that contains “dict” and use it in your post. Have fun!

If you would like to have fun visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is to join in. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/12/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-10-2022/

“What the heck is a ballista anyway?”

“It’s a big ole rock throwing catepult used in ancient times.”

“And you had to order one?”

“Yeah. Came recommended by Dan the same guy who sold me the Trebuchet.”

“You know people are going to start talking about you.”

“I would hope they would grab a dictionary and look these things up.”

“Clever.”

“What?”

“How you worked dictionary in there.”

“Didn’t think about it.”

“Well, anhow folks aree going to think you are off your rocker with all these security devices.”

“It’s a dangerous world out there.”

“Oh stop. You just like to write about that stuff.”

“Okay you caught me. Was fun to work the ballista into the story.”

“When is this crazyness going to be over.”

“You mean Pepe and the Rocket?”

“Yeah what else would I mean?”

“I guess he will have it all figured out next week. By the way I did not know Pepe was an MIT grad and validictorian I might add..”

“Okay that’s it. Time for more predictable substance.”

“You mean beer don’t you?”

“I do and you’re buying.”

“I bought last week.”

“I don’t mean to contradict you but what does that have to do with anything?”

“Don’t we share the cost?”

“You are the only one with money.”

“I forgot. Okay, text Uber.”

“Fandango is on his way.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #389 by Keith Channing

December 6, 2022December 5, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

Link to Keith’s post. https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/12/05/kreative-kue-389/

The Photo.

“Okay, Trevor. This is a new one. Why are you in the clothes dryer?”

“Well, Eos, if it is any of your business, I’m hiding out.”

“Hiding out from what? Or should I say who?”

“Yeah, it’s a who and a what.”

“Care to explain?”

“The who is mama.”

“Okay, so why do you have to hide from mama?”

“Aren’t you curious about the what?”

“I suppose.”

“The what is the reason for hiding from the who.”

“Enough of the riddles. Tell me what has you in hiding.”

“Bath.”

“Bath?”

“Mama wants to give me a bath.”

“Oh my goodness. This is serious. When was the last time?”

“It took me all this time to forget it, so don’t make me go back to remember.”

“Fine. Forget I asked.”

“Easy to say.”

“For heaven’s sake. You know hiding in the dryer is a short-term proposition, don’t you?”

“I only need one break.”

“Well being here when mama comes to stuff these clothes into the dryer isn’t the answer.”

“I know.”

“So why are you still here?”

“I think I hear mama coming.”

“You didn’t answer me.”

“Oh Eos there you are. Time for your bath.”

“Any more questions?”

“Just one. How do you sleep at night?”

Saturday Stream of Consciousness – Prompt – Twin/Tween

December 3, 2022December 3, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

The coffee is on its way. The machine lives up to the promise of a perfect cup. One sip, and it is clear why the addiction to caffeine is so strong. The senses sharpen, and the mind becomes razor-sharp. Each sip adds to the overall enhancement of the carbon unit. The nose takes in the coffee aroma and sends the signal to the brain. The brain immediately rejects the call and orders the carbon unit into action.

The brain screams the warning, “There is a skunk in the house, and it must be found.” The body is a little slower to respond. It is clear now that the nose might be the best tool to aid the search. The twin team of puma hunters, Twiggy and Lucy, are no help at all. Both seem to understand the risk of coming face-to-face with the critter. The expression on Lucy’s face says it all. “Never shall the twain of skunk and dog meet.”

On my own, to face the possibility tween getting sprayed and moving out of the house, it becomes crucial to find the beast. Having settled on the spray option, the search is done in earnest. All of a sudden, the music reaches my ears. Edith Piaf’s Non Je Ne Regrette Rein is clearly being played in the background. Pepe Le Peu is in my bathtub, surrounded by bubbles. He waves me in and points to an envelope sitting on the sink. Picking up the envelope, the question comes out with no filter. “When are you leaving my house?”

Pepe looks hurt, and guilt immediately grabs me by the throat. Bet to open the envelope, which contains two messages. The first is from Pepe. I can help with the rocket. The second is from Linda hill. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is twin/tween. Use twin or tween any way you’d like. Bonus points if you use both. Enjoy!

If you would like to participate, go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/12/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-3-2022/

Twin/Tween by John W. Howell

“What was he doing in the bathtub?”

“Relaxing, I suppose.”

“Seems like a dumb thing for a skunk to be doing.”

“I thought the same.”

“Then why did you keep it in the start?”

“I thought it would be funny.”

“I think you missed the mark. It’s a fine line tween funny and dumb.”

“Those are twin feelings, I would agree.”

“I think you fell on the dumb side.”

“Well, that’s cold.”

“Just want to keep it real.”

“Real what?”

“Real. You know, authentic.”

“Thanks for the help.”

“Now you’re pouting.”

“Not really. Besides, when did I ever listen to you about dumb things.”

“Yeah, I would say never.”

“Right. Speaking of dumb, do you have money this week.”

“If I say yes, I have to buy, right?”

“Right.”

“Nope.”

“Figures. Call Uber.”

“You know you don’t ‘call’ Uber, don’t you?”

“Yes, I know. It’s a figure of speech. hit the app.”

“Done. Fantasia will be here in five minutes.”

“Fantasia?”

“I’m betting phony name.”

“Like a driver name?”

“Yeh.”

“Let’s hope not.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 388 by Keith Channing

November 29, 2022November 28, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 79 Comments

Link to Keith’s site. https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/11/28/kreative-kue-388/

The photo.

“Red sky in the morning.”

“Huh?”

“An old sailor’s warning.”

What’s it warn?”

“Bad weather.”

“In this case, that is certainly true.”

“How do you know?”

“I can feel it in my bones.”

“Oh, come on. You are not that old.”

“Just the same; I don’t think we should be flying today.”

“You mean you want to cancel the trip.”

“Maybe just put it off til tomorrow.”

“What’s come over you? You never let the weather stop you before.”

“Just a funny feeling, is all.”

“Well, why don’t we just fly around it?”

“See the size of that front. We’ll never get around it.”

“Okay, how about above it?”

“I’m sure there are cumulous up to 60,000 feet. Our ceiling is 6,000.”

“Okay then. We stay. I just hope we aren’t caught in any snow. My mind is on those palm trees and sunshine.”

“We’ve been caught before.”

“That’s what worries me. You sure you can’t navigate around that storm.”

“Look. I’m a goose, not an airline pilot. I don’t have all-weather radar.”

“Okay, okay. Just asking. We’ll just stay here till it clears.”

“Here, take some corn. It’ll make you feel better.”

Stream of Conscousness Saturday

November 26, 2022November 25, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 58 Comments

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills the kitchen as the brown brew heads south into the double-sided glass mug. A touch of half and half turns the liquid into a pleasant caramel color. A sip and gulp bring a smile, and the effects of the caffeine reach the brain.

The unfortunate side effect of the brain getting a wake-up call is the realization that a rocket in the yard needs attention. A look out of the window confirms that the rocket is still there. A scratch of the head produces nothing in terms of a plan. So after coming up with no original thoughts on how to clear this heavy weight on my plate, my last ditch effort is to Google “Rocket Removal.”

After sifting through hundreds of responses, my eye falls on ACME Rocket Removal and Storm Door Company. After calling the number m,ove to the front door starts the security system shut down. Concertina wire recoil”d, tower machine “uns on stand-by,you’d submarine net retracted, boiling oil cooled, claymore mines disengaged, gate pulled back, bolts thrown, locks un locked, door thrown open.

Standing on the porch with an envelope in his hand is Pepe Le Peu. A comment had to be made.”Are you from the ACME Rocket Removal and Screen Door Company?”

“I am and take this envelope. It has our working contract as well as a message from our founder Linda HIll.” Holding my nose I take the envelope and before I could open it Pepe disappeared through the open front door. The envelope had two things. The contrat as Pepe mentioned and as if I didn’t have enough on my plate a message from Linda Hill. It read. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “on your/my plate.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

Visit Linda’s blog if you would like to read how other authors handle the prompt. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/11/25/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-26-2022/

“I see you got it done.”

“What?”

“The prompt.”

“Why, thank you.”

“And with you having all that stuff on your plate.”

“What stuff?”

“All the things you have to do.”

“I don’t have a lot to do.”

“That is not what I heard.”

“What did you hear?”

“I heard you had all kinds of things going on.”

“Sure beats me. Who said that?”

“That burial at sea guy you siced on me.”

“I just said that so he would quite inviting me to dinners at that horrible restaurant.”

“It wasn’t so bad.”

“You went?”

“The guy said you would be there.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Yeah no kidding.”

“You didn’t buy did you.”

“Your looking at the proud owner of the King Neptune package.”

“Sound expensive.”

“Not really when you divide it by two.”

“Two?”

“Yup.I named you as my Eternal partner. I think they are going to bill you.”

“Fabulous.”

“Also when I die they’ll come get you.”

“You are kidding, right?”

“Yeah I didn’t buy. I saved you thousands.”

“So I guess I should buy the beer.”

“If you insist.”

“Call Uber. I’m going to need a few.”

“Had you going didn’t I?”

“I admit it. Yes you did.”

“This is a banner day. Uber is on the way.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #387 by Keith Channing

November 22, 2022November 21, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 62 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below)as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

Here is a link to Keith’s post https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/11/21/kreative-kue-387/

The Photo.