Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 358 by Keith Channing

May 3, 2022May 2, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo ( below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

The Photo.

“So, where did you get this washed?”

“It was the boy scouts.”

“The boy scouts?”

“Yeah, there was a troop doing a car wash.”

“So you had them do it?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I have to wonder how you pulled that off?”

“Was easy. I looked, and there they were.”

“I mean how you got to them.”

“Oh, that.” Yeah, it was tricky.”

“I’m not sure they did a good job.”

The windshield does seem a bit streaky.”

“Where was this again?”

“In a church parking lot.”

“So you really had room.”

“Piece of cake. You see that tree line, right?”

“I nearly do, but yes.”

“You know we need to put more distance between us and the ground.”

“Yeah, I’m climbing now. It’s a wonder no one complained.”

“About what?”

“You landing a helicopter in a church parking lot.”

“Well, there was one complaint.”

“Do tell.”

“The minister. He lost his wig.”

“‘Flipped his wig,’ you mean?”

“No. He had a wig, and it blew into the trees. I gave him your number.”

“Great.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t costly.”

“Says you.”

“An expensive one would have stayed on his head.”

“Comforting for sure. Call ATC and get us cleared to 1000 feet. Those electric lines might be a problem.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Zip Zero Zilch

April 30, 2022April 30, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 57 Comments

Getting past the coffee prep gave me zero problems. Sipping the fresh brew caused me to believe that there would be zilch to worry about on this beautiful Saturday morning. Then, as my feet hit the footstool on the back porch, the zip of a figure passed the corner of my eye. Thinking it, another eye floater caused a return to the peaceful reverie and aromatic cup.

“Excuse me.” The words crashed into my consciousness like a hammer through the front window. Looking at the figure before me sent a register to the brain that this was no floater but a person in overalls.

“Yes?” Was all that could be mustered as a response.

“We have a delivery for Fiction Favorites.”

Shaking my head to try and understand how this person got over the moat, past the towers, and through the concertina wire, words did not immediately form for delivery. Then, finally, the words lined up in some semblance of order and marched out of my mouth. “I am Fiction Favorites.” is how they presented themselves.

The guy in overalls nodded and then spoke into a phone, indicating that they had reached the right place. It was only then that the realization of a hovering helicopter came into focus. At least that answered the question of how the security was breached. A mental note was made to the effect of installing antiaircraft systems to prevent such an occurrence again.

After a few more words, a large box descended from the helicopter and gently landed on the turf. The guy handed me a clipboard pointing to a signature line. Being a victim of being told what to do forever, my signature was proffered as directed. The guy grabbed a line and was yanked into the belly door, and the entire machine disappeared.

I pulled the string that said “pull to open,” and about 100 multicolored balloons went skyward. Such a sight brought a smile while reaching for the note on the bottom of the box. It was, of course, from Linda Hill, and here’s what it said. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “zip, zero, zilch.” Use one, use ’em all, bonus points if you use all three. Have fun!

If you would like to have fun, go to Linda’s blog and read how easy t is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2022/04/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-30-2022/

“Did you find out who the guy in overalls was?”

“No. It didn’t matter. I got the prompt.”

“Sometimes, you have zero sense.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t you think your readers would like to know?”

“I think their interest would be zilch.”

“Why do you say that?”

“The whole idea is the prompt. It means zip on who delivers it.”

“Not from what I read when a Warner brothers character shows up.”

“Well, that’s different.”

“How so?”

“Those characters are loved. This was a guy making a delivery.”

“From a helicopter.”

“There is that, I guess.”

“Did you get any markings on the helicopter?”

“No. There wasn’t time.”

“What’s this about antiaircraft systems?”

“Fictional license.”

“Like the rest?”

“Yup.”

“Is VooDooRanger real?”

“You bet.”

“Your turn to buy.”

“I didn’t mention something.”

“What?”

“There were 24 bottles of VooDoo Ranger in the box.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope, and a box of Hanover sourdough hard pretzels.”

“You get paid for these endorsements.”

“No, I just know what I like.”

“Okay, then let’s go.”

“French onion or France?”

“Pardon me?”

“Dip. What kind to go with the pretzels?”

“Where do you get dips.”

“Same place as the VooDoo Ranger.”

“French onion.”

“Good choice.”

“Can we go now?”

“After you.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 357 by Keith Channing

April 26, 2022April 25, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 58 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

The photo.

I’ll Wait by John W. Howell © 2022

Look at all those idiot cows running for the hay. “Here Bossie,” they call and you would think these bovines never had a meal before. That old hefer with the bell is the worst. She goes clanging down the hill and the entire herd takes off like some one shot a starter’s pistol. Not me brother. There is no amount of that dry geen stuff that’s going to turn me into a galloping fool.

I have a certain degree of dignity to maintain. After all, I’m the youngest, and If I may be so bold, the smartest of the spring calves. That’s another thing. Those calves. You would think their mothers would teach them a thing of two. Oh no it’s like they are destined to be wild animals. Just the other day two of them jumped the fence and were found on the road. On the road mind you. The place with all those smelly metal cow flatteners flying by at break neck speeds. They were lucky the farmer got them back onto the farm.

Did anyone punish them. Oh hell no. Their mama’s cried buckets when they were reunited. If that had been me I would have been grounded for a month. Just shows how the neighborhood is going to the dogs so to speak. Ah, that reminds me. If that border collie snaps at me one more time, I’m going to give him a hoof he won’t soon forget. Damn thing thinks he owns the place. Always bossing everyone around.

Hmmm. I think I hear the old farmer yelling. Oh yes there he is down the hill cupping his hands and trying to be heard. It looks like he is yelling at me. Okay I’ll take a couple of steps to see what the commotion is about. That’s better now I hear him calling me home. Sure I’ll come home when you offer a little more than dried salad. What’s that? Did I hear him say grain? There it is again and this time I distinctly hear the word grain.

Okay then I have to cut this short. You see I do talk big when it comes to alfalfa but grain is a whole other story. If you will excuse me I need to get going. I guess I better signal that I’m on my way. See you all later.

“MOOOOOOOOO.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Too/To/Two

April 23, 2022April 22, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 67 Comments

Too many times, the Saturday mornings have started the same. Get out of bed, make coffee, be stunned by something on the porch or falling from the sky. Today will be different. To this end, there will be two cups of coffee instead of one. It is hoped that this break from the routine will act as a catalyst for change.

The only change desired is that the day is typical without a cartoon character causing an exponential increase in heart rate. Just the idea alone makes for a calmer morning. Taking the last sip of the magic soothing syrup is interrupted by a notification that something has entered the optical path of the Ring doorbell.

Hands shaking causes the image on my phone to look like a 3-D movie without the glasses. Taking two hands to steady the vibration, it is clear something has been left on the front porch. A deep sigh escapes knowing the worst has probably been visited upon me. I cross the moat, raise the timber, throw back the series of bolts, disengage the electronic shock barrier, punch in the secret code, and open the front door.

It’s a box, my Lord, on a flatbed Ford. Taking it easy is the first thought that crosses my mind. I approach the Ford hoping nothing will pop out of the box. As happens to most of my hopes, the box’s lid pops off and out jumps a perfect replica of Yosemite Sam. “Howdy, Partner,” he yells and then starts shooting two six-guns into the air. I caution Sam that shooting six guns in the air in Austin is usually as welcome as a government mandate. He stops and wonders if there are any varmints in the area. I point him to city hall. He hands me an envelope and runs off down the street. Of course, the envelope contains the prompt from Linda Hill.

I read the prompt, wondering why I can’t get this off the internet. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “too/to/two.” Use one, use ’em all, bonus points if you use all three. Extra bonus points if you start your post with one. Enjoy!

You can join in too. Just go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is to have fun. Here’s the link https://lindaghill.com/2022/04/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-23-2022/

“Too much.”

“What’s too much.”

“These intros to the prompt.”

“Why’s that?”

“Two reasons.”

“Okay.”

“One. You take all the time.”

“And?”

“Two. You put people to sleep.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“Oh yeah. Look out there.’

“Where?”

“Beyond that screen.”

“Yes?”

“See those closed eyes.”

“People are looking down to type.”

“Oh, come on. Not everyone has your inability to use a keyboard.”

“That was harsh.”

“Got your mellow, huh?”

“You plowed a part in it.”

“Maybe I can make it up.”

“I’m open.”

“Does the word VooDoo Ranger mean anything.”

“If you are buying it, men’s a glorious day of friendship and forgetting past hurts.”

“Let’s go.”

“Can I have two to go too?”

“Let’s have half a dozen first, then see how you feel.”

“You are the doctor.”

“Not really, but I play one on TV.”

“Good enough.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #356 by Keith Channing

April 19, 2022April 18, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

The Photo.

“See anything yet?”

“Just the mountains.”

“Not very comforting.”

“Yeah, for sure.”

“So, what are we going to do?”

“I can’t think of anything but wait.”

“You sure someone’s coming.”

“Positive.”

“It’s getting colder.”

“Yeah. We should have brought warmer jackets.”

“Says the guy who mocked us for wanting to bring the winter stuff.”

“Well, that’s done. No use dwelling on it.”

“Except you have a heavy jacket.”

“You can have it.”

“Thanks. By the way, how do you know someone’s coming.”

“Before we made the emergency landing, I radioed our location with a mayday call.”

“Landing? I wouldn’t call an upside-down airplane a landing.”

“It was rockier here than I thought.”

“What made the engine fail anyway.”

“Fuel starvation.”

“Ran out of gas?”

“Well, that is another way of putting it.”

“Didn’t you fill up before taking off?”

“With the four of us, I had to take a lighter fuel load. I think the gage was off.”

“You’re supposed to do a visual on the fuel level.”

“I know, but we were in a hurry.”

“Haste makes waste.”

“Thanks, I’ll remember that.”

“Should we build a fire?”

“If you want to get warm, I’m pretty sure the burning plane won’t blow up. After all, the fuel level was pretty low.”

“Is that a joke?”

“It did sound funny.”

“Excuse me for not laughing.”

“You know a more positive attitude would go a long way.”

“Okay, how about this. I’m so glad your mistake didn’t get us all killed.”

“Now you’re talking. Look, here comes a vehicle. See, we are saved.”

“That vehicle, as you call it, looks like a truck full of pigs.”

“It is still a way out of here.”

“Remind me to make an appointment when we get back.”

“An appointment?”

“I think you need to have your head examined.”

“Yeah, good. I’ll remind you.”

“Come on, kids. Daddy is treating us to a ride with his family.”

“See, your attitude is improving already.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt- Nose/Noes/Knows

April 16, 2022April 15, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 82 Comments

The red light and warning buzzer momentarily freezes my brain. The spots before my eyes are alternating with the red flashes to the point that being able to sort out the confusion was a longer process than necessary. Finally, the logic caught up with the visual effects of alternating red bursts. The coffee machine needed a descaling.

A fate almost matching a blue screen computer event sends the message to all points of the body – NO CAFFEINE. Reason eventually prevails, and a punch of the reset button yields one more ten-ounce cup of soothing syrup. “No more till the descale,” is the warning. Sure, sure is the thought. The event is to be forgotten for 24 more hours.

Taking a life-affirming sip of the foamy hot stuff almost causes a miss of the Ring Doorbell notification. Checking my phone shows a blurry figure obviously moving fast. Opening the front door presents a challenge. Rolling aside the chest of drawers, clicking off the deadbolts, disarming the pepper spray, unlocking the latch, removing the chains, lifting the heavy timber, and carefully moving the concertina wire, the door is ready to open.

It has to be done quickly since the creature could still be standing there. Quickly is as quickly does, and before me is a huge egg. It has lovely decorations and pastel colors. My nose tells me it is an Easter egg. The opposing mental noes try to tell me it could be a bomb. Resisting those negative thoughts, I knock on the egg with full confidence that it knows the intent of being here. The egg falls open, and inside is a lifetime supply of Jelly Bellys. There is also a note. It reads. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “nose/noes/knows.” Use one, use ’em all, bonus points if you use all three. Have fun!

If you want to have fun, visit Linda Hills’ blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/04/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-16-2022/

“So you got the bonus points?”

“Yup. Put them in my Bentley Turbo account.”

“Never heard of that.”

“A Bentley Turbo? You’re kidding.”

“No, not the car. The fact that you can redeem Linda Hill bonus points for a Bentley.”

“Have you heard of anyone saying I can’t?”

“Well…No. But that’s not the point.”

“What’s the point?”

“You thinking you can take something as worthless as a Linda Hill bonus and converting it to a $300,000 car.”

“I don’t see what you are getting at.”

“Those bonus points are made up. There’s no market for them.”

“Like bitcoin?”

“Huh?”

“Show me a bitcoin.”

“I can’t. They are digital units of exchange.”

“Uh-huh. You have any?”

“No, they are too expensive.”

“So, what makes you believe they exist?”

“There is an exchange. They are traded. Everyone knows that.”

“So if I tell you there is a Linda Hill Bonus Point Exchange, you’ll admit they have value?”

“Uh, I guess so, but my nose tells me you are making that up.”

“So I can get rid of your noes, call this number.”

“Why?”

“To speak to someone on the Linda Hill Bonus Point Exchange.”

“For heaven’s sake. Never mind. I believe you. It’s not worth the trouble. I’ll just humor your fantasy.”

“Suit yourself. I’m going to the bar.”

“Your turn to buy.”

“I have a bonus point.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m going to buy our beer with a bonus point. I have to warn you, though.”

“About what?”

“One bonus point is worth 500 beers.”

“Can you get change?”

“Sadly no.”

“Oh my, what a dilemma. Whatever shall we do with 500 beers?”

“A believer.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 355 by Keith Channing

April 12, 2022April 11, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 67 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

The photo.

“Why are you rolled into a ball?”

“Because it is freezing out here.”

“Yeah, it’s cold, but it’s not so bad if you move around.”

“Says the one with fur-covered feet.”

“I never noticed your feet. They’re bald.”

“Yeah, no kidding and this snow plays hell with them.”

“So let’s get you warm.”

“Where?”

“See that pig-looking thing?”

“Yeah.”

“We can climb in there.”

“How can we get it open?”

“Oops didn’t think of that. How about we get next to one of these lights?”

“Not sure that’s enough heat.”

“How about just going inside.”

“Easy for you to say. You live here.”

“Aw, come on. No one will know. We go through the cat door and into the kitchen. There’s a nice warm bed there.”

“What if your folks find out.”

“They won’t even notice.”

“But I’m a hedgehog.”

“They will think you’re a toy. Just don’t move fast.”

“Well, if you think it’s okay. Anything is better than this.”

“It’ll be fun. Oh, just one thing.”

“I knew it.”

“If Brutus comes near you, don’t squeak.”

“Brutus?”

“The dog.”

“That’s it. I’ll take my chances with the cold.”

“He’ll only pick you up if you squeak.”

“Pass.”

“Suit yourself. Anyway, I think blue feet are a smashing fashion statement.”

“Very funny.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “How”

April 9, 2022April 8, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 81 Comments

How to begin this week’s post is a conundrum. A start with a cup of coffee is always a smart thing. While waiting for the magic machine to pump out the life-giving elixir, contemplation can occur. Perhaps a mnemonic device is needed. Maybe a nonsensical phrase will work. How now, brown cow comes to mind. A rejection that phrase comes quickly since it provides no stimulus at all.

The coffee is ready, and so is the tone on my cell phone, indicating an incursion into the optical monitoring space on the front porch. The image on the phone is blurred, which then necessitates a physical check at the front door. Throwing back the deadbolt, turning the electronic lock to open, raising the steel bar, disengaging the electrical shock guard, the front door is ready to open.

A final check through the peephole indicates the porch area is vacant. The situation seems safe to open the door. Hand on the knob and a gentle tug inward exposes the inside to the outside. In the brightness of the sunlight, an image stands ready to engage.

“Have you seen that wascally wabbit?”

Yes, how it happened is a mystery, but before stands Elmer Fudd, shotgun and all. My question tumbles out of my mouth. “How did you get here?”

Fudd just stands there and blinks. There is reason to believe he has no idea how he got here either. He finally hands me a note and says, “Tell that wabbit I’m on his twail.” A nod from me, and Elmer turns and walks away.

The note is predictable and still leaves me with the question, How does Linda Hill get these things into these characters’ hands? Here is what it says. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “how.” Use the word “how” in your post. Bonus points if you start your post with it. Enjoy!

If you want to participate, you can go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/04/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-9-2022/

“We have to make this short.”

“Why?”

“Cause you ate up all the time with that stupid Elmer Fudd story.”

“I thought it was cute.”

“Cause you own this dump.”

“What side of the bed did you get up on?”

“How I get out of bed has nothing to do with anything.”

“Your bed is against the wall, right?”

“How did you know?”

“Just a wild guess given your reaction to my get out of bed question.”

“Let’s forget the bed, okay? I can’t believe how you divert the discussion.”

“So, what do you want to talk about?”

“Ever hear of beer.”

“Your one-track obsession, you mean?”

“Better than messing up a perfectly good prompt.”

“How did I mess it up? I started the post with the word “how” and used it.”

“Dragging that poor character in kicking and screaming.”

“He was on the porch.”

“You really believe this stuff don’t you?”

“What choice do I have?”

“Buying me a beer is a great alternative.”

“Okay, but it is just an experiment.”

“Of what.”

“To see if beer is a better alternative to fiction.”

“You admit it then?”

“Sure. By the way, can Elmer come too?”

“Gad. You are buying. Bring anyone you want. Let’s just go.”

Tuesday Anything possible – Kreative Kue #354 by Keith Channing

April 5, 2022April 4, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

The photo.

“What would you like for dinner, my love?”

“Hmm. Haven’t given it much thought.”

“Well, I’m going shopping so I thought I would give you a choice.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet. What are the possibilities?”

“I was thinking of a nice Ibis or two.”

“Oh goodness. I’m so tired of Ibis. Look at ’em all hanging around. I feel full just looking at them.”

“I know but they are very plentiful.”

“That may be the problem.”

“So give me an idea.”

“Let me think. I have had gazelle on my mind for a while.”

“Those things are hardly ever in stock. Besides at my age running them down can be a problem.”

“I get that. Okay, something slower but as delicious. I know water buffalo.”

“You know they are dangerous right?”

“But you are such an accomplished hunter you are always on top of your game.”

“Those things take some help and everyone is off to the plains for the summer.”

“Okay then just make it simple. Anything you run across will be good.”

“What about dessert?”

“Maybe a rabbit.”

“Oh, good choice. Okay, then I’m off.”

“Good hunting.”

“You are so funny. You know we should consider vegetarian.”

“What? Eat what our food eats? I don’t think so.”

“Just a thought my love.”

“I could just see me at the pride meeting telling everyone that I was eating grass. I’d be laughed out of the county.”

“Okay, settle. I’ll find some meat.”

“You are the best.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Tip”

April 2, 2022April 1, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 72 Comments

Taking my time with my coffee seems like a good way to welcome a Saturday morning. Listening to the cardinals do their imitation of the Jersey boys standing on the corner reminds me to check the mailbox for any hint of a prompt.

A move to the front door was interrupted by what sounded like some big guy doing a cannonball into a pool from a twelve-meter platform. A look into the backyard gave me a tip as to the source of the sound,

There was an Olympic size pool and diving platform where just last night was only turf and crossvine. It appears as if the execution of the cannonball caused a tsunami that has washed over the yard. There is a big guy swimming for the edge.

A yell causes him to look up at me standing on the porch, wondering where sandbags can be secured this early. I cup my mouth with my hands. “What are you doing?”

He yelled back, “The breaststroke.”

My mind gave him props for his comedic timing. However, my body screamed for him to get out of that pool and tell me what’s going on. I don’t have a pool and need to get to the bottom of this situation. The jamoke lumbered over and explained that he was an animator from Warner Brother’s studio and did all this animation on behalf of Linda Hill.

Of course, he did. He received a tip from me to rewind, erase, or whatever else one does to get rid of an animation scene. He handed me an envelope, and once the yard was back to normal, I opened it. Here is what it said. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “tip.” Use it as a noun or a verb. Have fun!

If you would like to join in on the fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/04/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-2-2022/

“You have gone off the deep end.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Who’s going to believe some guy drew a pool and then dove into it.”

“Technically, he jumped into it.”

“My point is, who’s going to believe that?”

“There is no reason to believe. It’s fiction.”

“So what are we supposed to do with it then?”

“Laugh, cry, shout, ignore, or anything else ty want to do.”

“Come on. Some guy draws a pool. Don’t you think that’s farfetched?”

“Let me give you a tip.”

“Ah, the prompt.”