Too many times, the Saturday mornings have started the same. Get out of bed, make coffee, be stunned by something on the porch or falling from the sky. Today will be different. To this end, there will be two cups of coffee instead of one. It is hoped that this break from the routine will act as a catalyst for change.
The only change desired is that the day is typical without a cartoon character causing an exponential increase in heart rate. Just the idea alone makes for a calmer morning. Taking the last sip of the magic soothing syrup is interrupted by a notification that something has entered the optical path of the Ring doorbell.
Hands shaking causes the image on my phone to look like a 3-D movie without the glasses. Taking two hands to steady the vibration, it is clear something has been left on the front porch. A deep sigh escapes knowing the worst has probably been visited upon me. I cross the moat, raise the timber, throw back the series of bolts, disengage the electronic shock barrier, punch in the secret code, and open the front door.
It’s a box, my Lord, on a flatbed Ford. Taking it easy is the first thought that crosses my mind. I approach the Ford hoping nothing will pop out of the box. As happens to most of my hopes, the box’s lid pops off and out jumps a perfect replica of Yosemite Sam. “Howdy, Partner,” he yells and then starts shooting two six-guns into the air. I caution Sam that shooting six guns in the air in Austin is usually as welcome as a government mandate. He stops and wonders if there are any varmints in the area. I point him to city hall. He hands me an envelope and runs off down the street. Of course, the envelope contains the prompt from Linda Hill.
I read the prompt, wondering why I can’t get this off the internet. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “too/to/two.” Use one, use ’em all, bonus points if you use all three. Extra bonus points if you start your post with one. Enjoy!
You can join in too. Just go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is to have fun. Here’s the link https://lindaghill.com/2022/04/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-23-2022/
Too/To/Two by John W. Howell © 2022
“Too much.”
“What’s too much.”
“These intros to the prompt.”
“Why’s that?”
“Two reasons.”
“Okay.”
“One. You take all the time.”
“And?”
“Two. You put people to sleep.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
“Oh yeah. Look out there.’
“Where?”
“Beyond that screen.”
“Yes?”
“See those closed eyes.”
“People are looking down to type.”
“Oh, come on. Not everyone has your inability to use a keyboard.”
“That was harsh.”
“Got your mellow, huh?”
“You plowed a part in it.”
“Maybe I can make it up.”
“I’m open.”
“Does the word VooDoo Ranger mean anything.”
“If you are buying it, men’s a glorious day of friendship and forgetting past hurts.”
“Let’s go.”
“Can I have two to go too?”
“Let’s have half a dozen first, then see how you feel.”
“You are the doctor.”
“Not really, but I play one on TV.”
“Good enough.”
Fiction Favorites 
Reblogged this on NEW BLOG HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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Thank you for sharing, Michael.
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I always love how you keep up the tension, and increase it to the maximum it’s ever possible on paper, John! I wish you a great weekend! Best wishes, Michael
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You are too kind, Michael. Thank you.
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[…] you go, David. A glass of medicinal John Howell’s Bourbon, a snifter – no pun intended – of seltzer, a glass of ice, and four cherries, too, since we […]
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Super post , Dan. Thanks for the mention.
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Putting me to sleep? With Yosemite Sam? Never! I love him. He can come here and shoot varmints all day long (the City Hall variety). Great job on the prompt, John. Have two on Linda – extree bonus point or you!
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Thank you, Dan. I see where you racked up bonus points as well. 😁
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I couldn’t resist, John.
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😁
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I’m wide awake! Good one, John! Happy Saturday!
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Thank you, Jill. Happy Saturday to you sung to the tune of Wicked Game by Chris Isaac
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You do know how to tell a story, John!
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Thank you, GP. 😁
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That’s quite a security system you have there! Love The Eagles’ reference: “It’s a box, my Lord, on a flatbed Ford. Taking it easy is the first thought that crosses my mind.”
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Thanks Liz. I couldn’t help myself. Glad you caught it.
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You’re welcome, John.:D
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😁
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Yosemite Sam is a favorite. That little guy would have a feast in our political environment and just might evoke some needed smiles. Heck, he’d get elected if he ran for office. 😁 Great job, John. Morning smiles and all!
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So true, Gwen.I’m not sure he has survived cancel culture at this point. Have a super weekend.
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I love your streams. I can follow them as well, although I also miss having a moat and drawbridge in my imagination when I read of yours.
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I try to channel my inner Howard Hughes. 😁
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Ouch. That other came with haymakers this weekend.
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So true.
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It was very kind of you not to mention that some varmint had dressed Yosemite Sam in a tutu too. Though it would be a site poised next to a flat bed ford my sweet lord… damn the lyrics just went awry ! Enjoy those voodoo rangers, and stick to the plurals. Never absolutely never drink with a lone ranger… it is bad form Peter…
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It is bad form to drink with a lone ranger. 🤣
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Happy days, now my tame Immortal Vampire Bear Vlad wants to know if he can visit you he has offered to swing by Linda’s to pick up a prompt first !
As to To, Too and Two ..
You smashed it John 🤣😂
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Vlad sounds like a character. Thanks, Willow.
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He is 💜💜
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😊
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😇💗💕
Billy Ray Chitwood
https://www.billyraychitwood.com http://about.me/brchitwood
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Thank you, Billy Ray
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Good one, John, using one of my favorite characters, Yosemite Sam. And I like the way you sneaked the Eagles in. I guess I’ll take it easy for the rest of the day. 🙂
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Yes you should take it easy, Tim
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Yeah. Can’t let the sound of my own wheels drive me crazy. 🙂
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WD-40 will take care of that.
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I’ve been waiting for Yosemite Sam to to pay a visit!
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He didn’t stay long did he? Thanks, Denise.
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I can vouch for you because I’m wide awake. Good one!
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Excellent. 😁
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The grin on my face says happy not bored.
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Oh thank you, Pamela.
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I see we have the same typing style.
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I think you gathered all the points on this one.
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I think I have racked up the points. Thanks, Craig.
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I love your visitors and I am never bored. 🙂
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Thank you, Lauren
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This was terrific, John. Honestly, the intro is as great as the dialogue. Sounds like a twofer (two-for, for those who don’t know the term). My fingers are crossed that Yosemite Sam went off and found the Tasmanian Devil. Be careful, he may bring you Linda’s prompt.
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The Tasmanian Devil is a force to be reckoned with for sure.
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Definitely!
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Ha! Ha! The box on the flatbed ford had me laughing right off, then the visual of Yosemite Sam running off toward city hall looking varmints took it to another level of humor. Great response to the prompt, John!
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Thanks, Jan
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Haha! We were due to encounter Yosemite Sam! Two extra points for you!
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Thank you, Dale. You certainly are catching up.😁
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Then I had to go to work! I’m alone on the second floor today as everyone else has their Fridays off (while I have Mondays – which I’m totally cool with…)
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I would rather have Mondays too
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Four day weeks are the bomb! I don’t think I can (read: want) to go back to five.
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I have zero days and know what you mean
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I am so ready to have zero days…
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Young chick like you? Gotta keep at it.
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Ah hell no! I don’t wanna anymore. I know I can keep myself busy …
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So what’s holding you?
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Just waiting for my financial advisor to say “go”!
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Sounds good. Any hints as to how long?
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My financial adviser says by 65. I want him to change it to 62. Five more years of this crap. Of course, if I loved what I was doing, the story would be different. I’m not even close to liking it.
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Yeah I enjoyed what I was doing, so I kept going till I was 70 1/2. Hard to believe it was ten years ago.
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Makes all the difference, I say. And I’m happy for you!
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