Saturday Stream of Consciousness time again. This week’s prompt is “Food” which can be used as the theme of this post. If you would like to know more and join this fun go to Linda Hill’s site http://lindaghill.com/2016/02/26/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-2716/  Here is my interpretation.

Food by John W. Howell © 2106

“So today class we are going to talk about food. Yes, Johnny.”

“Will this be on a test?”

“Well Johnny, I hate to tell you this, but the only way I can be sure you understand the lesson is to give you a test. So yes. There will be a test. Try to stay up with the class.”

“Most of the class sleeps during the lectures so I don’t think it will be too hard to stay up with them.”

“Very funny Johnny. Have you ever thought about being a writer?”

“No ma’am. I want to be able to make a living.”

“Okay, Johnny may I proceed?”

“Yes ma’am sorry about the interruption.”

“Now class in this segment we are going to learn how the body converts food to energy. Sigh, yes, Johnny.”

“Are you talking energy like oil and gas.”

“Well in the body food changes to elements that act like gas in a car.”

“Wow. We talking Methane?”

“Let’s not go there, Johnny. By the way do you need to visit the restroom?”

“No ma’am. Why do you ask?”

“Oh no reason I just would like to move on is all.”

“Oh, I get it. You would like me to be quiet.”

“I didn’t say that Johnny. May I proceed now?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry.”

“We will also learn the correct kinds of food to eat to maximize your body’s performance. What? John.”

“By performance are you talking running and that kind of stuff?”

“Yes, Johnny. That is exactly what I’m talking about. Thanks for clarifying that for us.”

“My dad eats wheat germ to help him sleep.”

“I’m not sure how wheat germ helps him sleep.”

“Me neither. He just says it helps his performance in the bedroom.”

“Fine Johnny. Let’s start the lesson shall we?”

“Yes, ma’am. Sorry for the interruption.”

“Now class who can tell me the most important meal of the day?”

“Yes, Charles.”

“Pizza.”

“Um. Anyone else want to try? Yes, Mary Lou.”

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”

“Very good Mary Lo— Yes, Johnny what is it?”

“I think Charles is right. Pizza is the most important meal of the day. Especially if you don’t have any.”

“Okay, I give up. Here’s what we are going to do. I’m going to sit down in Johnny’s chair, and Johnny will teach the course. Come up here Johnny.”

“Thank you, teacher. Now class who can tell me the four major food groups.

“Yes, Simon.”

“Grilled cheese, bacon, pizza, and chocolate milk.”

“Correct. We need to add Ice cream and Snicker bars, but I think you have it. What’s the matter, Mrs. Crane? You crying?”

 

 

 

 

Saturday again and time for Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Today’s prompt is “an.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want and has offered a suggestion of starting words with “an” or making “an” the theme of the post. If you would like to know more about this go to Linda’s blog at   http://lindaghill.com/2016/01/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-jan-3016/  You might mention to Linda that I didn’t find her suggestions helpful in inspiring me to write. Here is my endeavor. (also, look at the year at the end of the link. I knew something was up that’s one hundred years from now.)

The Great An by John W. Howell ©2016

“All hail the Great An.”

“Why thank you, thank you very much.”

“Tell us Great An what does the future hold?”

“If it is anything like last night’s poker game I would say a full house.”

“Seriously Great An it is another new year 3016, and your subjects are curious as to what they can expect from their supreme leader.”

“I would say the subjects can pretty much expect the same kind of leadership as last year. You know. Higher taxes, lower wages, more war, less clean water, not enough to eat. So what’s new?”

“But sire. You averted a full-scale uprising with promises of better conditions.”

“Was I drinking at the time?”

“Come to think of it sire, you were.”

“Well, there you are then. Can a man be held to his word when he’s in the bag?”

“I must warn you, sire the peasants are on the verge of revolting.”

“I can tell you, noble knight given their propensity to avoid bathing I would say they are already there.”

“I cannot be held responsible for what will happen if you don’t reform and improve the living conditions of your realm sire.”

“You have convinced me. Do you have a pen?”

“Yes, sire. Here.”

“Let’s see. Ah yes, a proclamation. Henceforth all citizens will live better or be put to death. There I signed it. Now take it to the printer guy and tell him to make copies to be distributed to every man, woman and child.”

“Yes, sire. You are going to go down in history as an extraordinary monarch.”

“You think so?”

“Yes, you will never be forgotten. Your name will be on everyone’s lips throughout eternity followed by a spit.”

“Followed by what?”

“A kiss sire. Followed by a kiss.”

This post is part of Just Jot it January. If you want to join in here is the link. Hurry the month is going fast. http://lindaghill.com/2015/12/31/just-jot-it-january-2016-rules/

 

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is “Odd/Even.” Linda Hill says we can use them any way we want. This concession is good since if we had to use them together, it might be a problem. If you would like to participate in the madness here is the link  http://lindaghill.com/2016/01/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-jan-2316/  Here’s mine.

Odd/Even by John W. Howell © 2016

“Did you hear that?”

“I think so. It sounded odd didn’t it?”

“Odd? It sounded like a gunshot. That’s what it sounded like.”

“Oh, I don’t think so.”

“I’m telling you it was a gunshot. Any fool can recognize a shot when it goes off.”

“Well I’m not a fool, and I don’t think it was a gunshot.”

“For heaven’s sake. Let’s just drop it then.”

“Why drop it? You called me a fool.”

“I said any fool could tell it’s a gunshot. You couldn’t tell, so you’re no fool.”

“Hmm. I’m thinking you’re pulling a fast one here.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Any fool can see you are twisting things.”

“So now you are calling me a fool. I don’t see how I’m twisting things.”

“No. I just said any fool could see you are twisting things. If you don’t see it, then you’re not a fool.”

“I would say now we are even.”

“Both fools you mean?”

“Exactly.”