Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Home

~ John W. Howell

 

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

Waiting for the coffee machine to finish its ridiculously pompous and overly complicated process brought to mind the safe and the Yosemite Sam look alike. Looking out the back windows confirmed that the safe was still there. Such a condition brought a sense of unwanted satisfaction that, at least it, was not all a fantasy.

The almost soundless chime of the machine let me know it was time to provide direction on my preference. I could have a latte, cappuccino, cafe au lait, or coffee. Since there are rules in many parts of the world on having a cappuccino in the morning, I selected the two-cup serving of Samatra Dark Roast. Sputters and spurts followed by an aromatic stream of the stuff that’s going to save my life. A finish with a creamy head, and it is ready to drink.

Two sips in, and predictably my phone signals the arrival of someone on the front porch. My new signage that says GO AWAY doesn’t appear to have registered on the latest interloper. A click of the speaker switch allows the question. “Who goes there?” (one of my fantasy phrases that lie in waiting for the perfect opportunity)

“The POA.”

Not an expected answer. My sigh and response begged for a minute to go through the unlocking process. The visitor also sighs but agrees. The process is more complex this week with the addition of a heat-seeking anti-tank rocket system. The iron gate is opened, bar raised, concertina wire pulled back, claymore mines deactivated, auto boiling oil system cut off, machine guns paused, anti-tank system on standby, Trebuchet disengaged, door bolts thrown, and locks undone. The front door opens, and before me stands the guy that looks like Yosemite Sam.

“Your daggone POA woke me up this morning in my home demanding to know when the safe was going to be moved.”

“What did you tell them?”

“To mind their dadgum business. A man’s home is his castle. So I ran him off with an invitation to dance to the tune of my 45s.”

Now there are real problems to consider. Not only is there a non-compliant housing unit half buried in the backyard but an insane resident who makes people dance with his pistols. Sam hands me an envelope and, like last week, disappears around the corner of the house. I open the envelope to find a warning by the POA to get rid of the safe or face a fine. Attached to the back of the envelope is another message from Linda Hill. It reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “home.” Use it as a noun, a verb, an adjective, or an adverb. Enjoy!

If you want to “enjoy,” visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2022/09/23/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-24-2022/

Home by John W. Howell © 2022

“Sam is still there?”

“Well, someone who looks like Sam.”

“Why don’t you tell him to go home.”

“He thinks the safe is his home.”

“Get rid of his home then.”

“Easier said than done. No one wants to move a safe. Home or not.”

“Did you try a home mover?”

“Now, that idea just struck home with me.”

“That’s a clumsy sentence.”

“All’s fair in love and prompts. I’m going to call one.”

“Home mover?”

“Yup.”

“Since when do you listen to me?”

“When you serve up ideas that hit home runs.”

“Speaking of ‘serve.'”

“I know my turn to buy. Call Uber.”

“On speed dial.”

69 thoughts on “Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Home”

  8. Good job on the prompt, but I was especially amused by the stuff leading up to the prompt, including the coffee machine and your fortress of a door lock. Have a good weekend, John.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Set me back for a minute. In my world a POA is Power of Attorney. We use the HOA a lot for Home Owner’s Association. Unofficially, we also use POS, but that doesn’t leave the office. If someone sees that one on accident we just tell them it means Public Offering Statement. (Sure it does…)

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Even with the increased security, the characters still keep getting through. 🙂 Brilliant idea to call the home mover. Maybe the safe can finally be gone! Great response to the prompt, John!

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  14. Did you ever think that your Saturday prompt/wake up routine is the reason why the girls are so trained to flip the hyper response switch to the doorbell ? Falling safes, dance lessons with a 45, hair trigger perimeter defense systems, and the gurgle of boiling oil. It is a wonder that it is safe if you will pardon the unintended pun to let the girls out to tend to their morning business. You must have good neighbors to patiently endure your Saturday routine. Have you started selling the tee shirts advertising your membership in the Voodoo Ranger Mental Health Therapy System ? Or would that just be another trigger for the perimeter defense ?

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    1. Love your comments, John. I have a private elevator that leads to the backyard so the doggies can go out without having to go through the security system. Yes, the neighbors get a little grumpy when the searchlights come on at 2:00 AM to track the neighborhood fox.

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  22. Wow! Sam is quite the tenacious non-tenant.
    What’s a POA?
    You might have to trick Sam to get him out. Look, he got the safe into your yard, right?
    Then he can get it out, right?
    He’s the devilish type, so maybe if you complain to him about the POA, he’ll move it to the POA’s yard, just to torture him!
    💋🐂
    As I said, until you get an ACME emoji device, I’ll play nice!

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      1. Yes, the supply chain issues are brutal. I hear 100% of ACME products are on back order. Wylie must be in hell!
        POA…. eek…. sounds like a lot of conformity to me. I might have to continue living in the poor part of town. No one give a ship here!
        Ah… FBI, eh? They don’t stand a chance!
        Perhaps the Tasmanian Devil can get Sam out! 🐂 💋

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