Wednesday at last. This week seems like it is in a contest to see who can move the slowest. Well, we are at the halfway mark and time for a story. The story today is based on a real life experience I had the last week. I have to travel to San Antonio for medical care and each  six weeks I need to have an infusion to ward off the effects of an auto-immune disease which is my body attacking me. Anyway I was traveling along interstate 37 and had just entered the police protectorate zone of San Antonio. The speed limit changes from 75 to 70 just as one crosses the San Antonio River. I have been making this trip for two years and my custom is to adjust my cruise control from 81 MPH in the 75 zone to 70 MPG in a 70.

Well, there I was, cruising at 81, listening to the Classic Queen CD. I was also looking for the pills I’m supposed to take an hour before the procedure. I find the pills, open a water, take the pills and wash them down. All fine and dandy with one exception, I had crossed the demark from 75 to 70 and was preoccupied. A minute after I had the feeling something was wrong, one of San Antonio’s finest was suggesting strongly I pull over. Not wanting to add evasion to an already serious offense (11 miles over the speed limit) I stopped. I pulled off right next to the 70 MPH sign. Unfortunately I had been in the 70 zone for a few minutes and really had no excuse. I guess I could have mentioned my procedure, but one look at the officer and I knew he wouldn’t give a rip. I kept my dignity and didn’t beg for mercy. Lucky for me, since he didn’t give me any. I get to pay $114.00 and the cost of traffic school.  So here is a riff on a traffic stop. Of course, it stars my old pal Frank. Hope you like it.

Traffic Stop by John W. Howell ©2014

“Any idea why I pulled you over?”

“Not only do I not have a clue, but this has never happened to me before.”

“Yes I’m sure. Well I had you at 81 in a 70 zone.”

“81 in a 70? So what?”

“So what? Do you realize how unsafe that kind of speed could be to innocent drivers who get in your way?”

“No one gets in my way. Speaking of in the way, tell me again what gave you the idea to pull me over?”

“First of all sir, I’m going to ask you to calm down and remain in your vehicle. You are in enough trouble without adding any other charges.”

“Any other charges? Are you crazy? You don’t have the authority to add anything. And as far as remaining in my car is concerned I will damn well do what I please. I believe this is an unlawful stop and I just might be forced to swear out a complaint against you. What is your name again? I missed it the first time.”

“My name is Frank.”

“Frank what?”

“I don’t think that is any of your business.”

“Well Frank. Now that you have interfered with police business by detaining me from my appointed rounds. Now that you refuse to identify yourself to an officer of the law when requested. Now that you have demonstrated that you could be a safety risk to yourself and others, you are under arrest. You have the right to an attorney and if you can’t afford an attorney one will be provided by the court. Anything you say, can and will be held against you in a court of law. Do you understand these rights Frank?