Wednesday Story Day is here again. Last week we left Charlotte having as she has for some time a moment of concern about what Bob has written. She reads his first chapter that is “He stepped off the ledge and could see the end was near.” We can rejoin the two and see what happens next.
“Why do you say ‘Oh my gosh.’ Is it that good?”
“Well Bob; let me put it this way. Your first chapter pretty much tells the reader that the character described is going to die.”
“Yes that’s correct. He was on top of a building and he decided to end it all.”
“So we need to move to the second chapter to see what happens.”
“Yes. This is what I call a hook.”
“I can understand that Bob but a hook needs to be a little more than an ending of life. There has to be a little more about the character so the reader will care about moving to chapter two.”
“Well the rest of the book is a flashback and the story comes out there.”
“That can be effective. It does smack of a screenplay though.”
“You think so. I hope to sell this to a producer.”
“Well, maybe you could put a little more in the first chapter.”
“Like what?”
“Well, how does the character feel? Did he arrive by car? Does he live in the building? You know some points of interest.”
“I see what you’re saying. So I should put in something to build up to the jump?”
“I think so.”
“How about this? With shaking hands he cupped the lighter against the wind and took a long pull at the cigarette. Filling his lungs with smoke his head got a click lighter than where the three drinks he gulped down before leaving his apartment left him. On unsteady legs he ambled toward the edge of the roof. Looking out over the city his eyes overflowed at the thought of never seeing this view again. Blinking to clear his vision he stepped over the low protection and stood near the edge of the roof shaking with fear. Another deep drag of the cigarette provided reason to double think his decision to jump. Of course, it was too late to go back, and he is to honor the commitment . Today it is necessary to be the last day of his life, and there was no turning back.”
“Oh, my gosh. Now you are talking.”
“I have more.”
“Let’s see it.”
“It’s still in my head.”
“Of course it is.”
Fiction Favorites 
Starting to have a little hope toward Bob’s success. Plenty of stories start with the main character taking a swan dive, which hooks the reader.
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Could be my next book as well. I’ll lift it from Bob.
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Just remember to get Chapter 1 out of his head. 😉
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True.
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I’m feeling a lot better about Bob today.
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He has some good qualities. Maybe he is a writer after all. Thanks Dan
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So … maybe Bob was just seeing if Charlotte would be the right editor for him because it sounds like he does know what he’s doing (I think) 😉 Charlotte needs to pull out a voice recorder and just let Bob talk!
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Hey! That is a great idea. Thanks Marie.
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oh, anytime, John 🙂
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*smiles*
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I just hope Charlotte isn’t anywhere near a ledge… 😀 Well done again, John.
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She is in the middle of the room
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Bob is a piece of work. lol
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He is isn’t he?
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Getting stuff out of my head is my problem, too. 🙂
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Ha ha ha. Crazy Bob
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Maybe there is hope for Bob after all. What he needs to do is start writing or typing instead of keeping it all in his head, and procrastinating.
If he doesn’t do something concrete soon, I’m going to dive into Charlotte’s drawer myself. Can’t bear the thought of jumping off any ledge. Yet. 😮
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I think he may be worth saving
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Sounds promising…
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🙂
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Hey, Bob….he’s a writer!!
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Maaaabeeeeee
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I won’t give up on him. Shan’t!
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Shan’t? So Victorian. I like it.
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*curtseys*
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*bows*
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