Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

~ John W. Howell

 

Funny College

It is Wednesday Story Day again and last week Mrs. Worthe put Ben in an impenetrable garage that seems to spell the end for Ben. Not that too many of us care that old Ben has the potential to take a walk over the rainbow bridge, but he his a character after all. We need to go back and see if there is any hope for the boy.
“Mom where is Ben?”
“I put him in the garage. He won’t be bothering us anymore.”
“That makes me feel sad. I liked Ben.”
“Yeah didn’t we all. He represents a risk to us Alexis.”
“Isn’t there a way to shut him up without having him die a slow death in your torture chamber.”
“I tried, honey. He has some relationship with that fleabag priest. If in fact he is a priest.”
“Just the same can’t we take him for a ride and do it quickly?”
“Too many messy ends, sweetheart. I would like to be humane, but we just don’t have that luxury.”
“So when we come back we’ll have to deal with the body.”
“Yes. Your dad is good with those kinds of clean up chores. He’ll take care of it.”
“At least I won’t have to deal with it. Okay, mommy, you know best. Wait.”
“What is it, honey?”
“Do you smell gasoline?”
“Oh, my God. That idiot must have found some gas. I told your father to be super careful and check to make sure there was none in the garage.”
“Ralph. Come in here.”
“Yes, darling what is it?”
“Did you check the garage for gasoline?”
“Of course. What do you think I am an idiot.”
“I have to wonder sometimes, my sweet. Did yo empty the lawn mower?”
“Yes.”
“The trimmer?”
“Yes.”
“The chainsaw?”
“Oops.”
“You didn’t empty the chainsaw?”
“I’m afraid it is worse than that. The chainsaw has a mixture, and I forgot the container as well.”
“How much is in the container?”
“A gallon I would say.”
“A gallon? That is enough to burn for a while.”
“What the hell is he going to burn. He will run out of air.”
“Except for the house side wall. That is standard construction. All he has to do is throw some gas on the wall and touch it off. He may die, but I can tell you the fire department will be here to find the body.”
“Okay, I get it. We need to get him out of there.”
“Are there any matches in the garage.”
“No, but there’s a propane torch.”
“You left a torch?”
“Not the gas container but the igniter can make a spark if he finds it.”
“We need to move fast.”

45 thoughts on “Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day”

  5. Mr. Worthe seems more than a bit careless. To say Alexis is missing in empathy is putting it mildly. That’s one crazy family. I’m glad to see Ben won’t die a horrible death even though he isn’t the sharpest pencil in the box.. 🙂 — Suzanne

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  14. After a looong day of travel and a glass or two of wine, I read your post. Couldn’t help but laugh. I don’t know the characters, but (sadly) I relate to them all right now. I think I particularly like Ben, as I feel like torching something… That’s what 12 hours of travel do to me….:) Oh what mischief a writer can do through his (or her) characters!

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