Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

Hump Day

 

It is Wednesday Story day again and this week’s episode is sponsored by Dan Antion. For those of you who don’t read the comments on this story, Dan has been advocating shooting all the characters and be done with it. I have to admit emotionally I am in Dan’s camp. Visit Dan at his blog No Facilities. He has some super features. Here is the link.
Last week we left Ralph being honked off at the SWAT commander for calling him a nut. The commander didn’t mean to do that, but the phone at Ralph’s end was on speaker, so he heard the comment. Let’s go back and see what consequences are brought to bear. (A little literary drama for the high brows)
“Now slow down Ralph. You need to remain calm.”
“Calm for who commander?”
“Agent Lightfoot. You still there?”
“Yes, commander.”
“Can you convince Ralph—”
“Mr. Worthe to you copper.”
“Okay, Mr. Worthe. Lightfoot can you convince Mr. Worthe that he needs to remain calm.”
“Lightfoot is in no position to convince anyone of anything. He is a liar. He showed up trying to convince us he is a priest and come to find out he is an FBI stooge.”
“Mr. Worthe. We are working on your demands and just want you to take it easy, so there are no accidents.”
“Yeah, I heard about your accidents commander. Ask all the people in the Branch Davidians about an accident. You threatening me Commander.”
“No Ra—er Mr. Worthe. No threats. We can’t have you being upset and accidentally shooting Lightfoot now can we?”
“ It would be no accident, commander.”
“Lightfoot. You okay?”
“I am Commander.”
“So let’s leave it that we will be arranging transportation for you Mr. Worth. We can’t get a helicopter into this neighborhood. There are too many trees. So we will get a nice big SUV . You will be taken to the airport where there is a jet waiting to take you to the Cayman Islands. How’s that sound.”
“I’m not happy about the helicopter but understand. When does the SUV get here?”
“I’d say in ten minutes or so.”
“Fine. Worthe out.”
“Okay, Lightfoot. I have to say you were right about calling them.”
“Thank you, Ralph.”
“Mr. Worthe to you.”
“Yeah I get it.”
“What about us Dear?”
“Trudy you and Alexis will stay close to me. Lightfoot will be our shield. I’m sure they will have a sharpshooter out there and will try to pick me off. I’m going to be in the middle of all of you.”
“You using us as a shield?”
“Well, I wouldn’t put it that way, Trudy.”
“I don’t know how else to put it.”
“Calm down it will be okay.”
“You are a beast your know that Ralph?”
“Now Trudy.”
“Yeah, daddy. I’ve never heard of a father using his child as a shield.”
“I think you are losing control, Ralph.”
“Shut up Lightfoot and its Mr. Worthe to you.”
I have to agree with Lightfoot; it does look like Ralph is losing control. Come back next week for another episode. In the meantime visit Dan Antion at http://www.nofacilities.com

 

35 comments

  1. Gwen Plano · ·

    Coffee and wine – the necessary beginning and ending of the day. As for Lightfoot and Worthe? I want to hear more from Alexis…. 🙂

    1. Ah yes, Alexis the millennial. 🙂 I’m sure we will hear from her.

  2. At least Ben isn’t making a mess this time.

    1. He’s pretty quiet in the presence of a superior idiot. 🙂

      1. Ralph is definitely claiming Emperor Idiot now.

  3. Where can I get one of those mugs?

    1. Ha ha ha. Thanks, Jill. I have one. 😀

      1. I kind of figured… 🙂

  4. And now a word from your sponsor:

    They should have pulled the trigger when they had a clear shot…just sayin.

    It sounds like Ralph, Mr Worthe to me, is losing the small amount of control he had. Still, given the option of spending the rest of his life on the run with Rudy and Alexa, the bullet might not be a bad choice.

    Thanks for the mention, John

    1. Thanks, Dan. I think you are right about the bullet. 🙂

  5. I agree with his family. Ralph is a real stinker. I’d say I’ve lost all respect for him but I didn’t have any to begin with. Those demands never work out. I’d say Ralph will end up in jail. A good installment, John. 🙂 — Suzanne

    1. He’ll be lucky to make it to jail. Thanks, Suzanne 🙂

  6. Rock bottom when the child becomes the shield. I like the mug, too.

    1. Very rock bottom, Audrey. Mug is cool. 🙂

  7. The commander was right. Ralph (I bet he pronounces it ‘Raif’ – I mean, what’s that all about. Since when was L pronounced like I?) is a nutter! Here’s a plan. Get a helicopter up and, when they come out to the SUV, with nutty Ralph using his family as human shields, drop a net on the lot of them.

    1. Good one, Keith. Big net. 🙂

  8. Perfect – get the family going at each other. Great twist, John!

  9. Even if the “child” is a young adult, it’s rotten to use her as a shield. Ditto for the wife. This thing can’t end well for Ralph … er, Mr. Worthe!!

  10. Yeah, I’m with Dan… shoot ’em all – they won’t be missed! Good grief… I’m turning into an ogre!

  11. Remember when blowing up the Student Union was the plan? I can think of a use for those abandoned explosives now.

  12. I was saving this episode for a lunchtime treat, and you did not disappoint, John.
    It sounds like Ralph may be turning the women in his family against him… 😀
    Have a wonderful Wednesday! Mega hugs.

    1. You may be right, Teagan. Hope your lunch was good. Wild Wednesday to you.:-)

  13. PS: I absolutely love the “someecard” at the top! 😀

    1. Me too! Great minds think alike (oops there is a corollary “Fools seldom differ”)

      1. Ah, we are safe from “fooldom.” You’re a sports fan and I never understood the fascination. 😉
        Yes, it’s a wild Wednesday with National Novel Writing Month in full swing! Hugs

      2. Only one sport three teams. Football, Baylor cause my money went there, WVU cause my wife went there, Notre Dame cause I went there.

  14. My favorite go-to beverages. So, I’m not the only one? o_O
    Ralph needs to be pushed into the line of fire. 😀 😀 😀

    1. Oh my goodness. This from such a sweet person. 😀

  15. I think this would make a fine movie, a comedy! You have all the dialogue so the screenplay would write itself.

    1. Thanks, Jo. Wait, is that Hollywood on the line?

  16. I still don’t give much for Ralph’s–sorry, Mr. Lightfoot’s–chances.

    1. He may be a CIA member. (Naw) Thanks, Bun

  17. I’m a day late, but how did I ever survive Wednesdays without you, John?

    1. I see you made it fine, Hook. 😀

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