Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

Hump Day

 

It is Wednesday Storytime again, and last week we left Ralph telling the commander that he was coming out. We need to get back quickly so that we don’t miss any of the action. This episode could be the end of Ralph and we wouldn’t want to miss that circumstance. Unfortunately, we do not have a sponsor this week, but the good part is we don’t have to worry about offending someone directly.
“Okay, Y’all need to gather around. We are going out there, and I need everyone to get close.”
“Daddy. You can’t be serious. You want us to protect you without bodies.”
“Don’t be a simp Alexis. They’re not going to shoot you innocents.”
“How do you know that, daddy?”
“Yeah, Ralph. How do your know that?”
“Trudy and Alexis. What federal officer in his right mind would take out an innocent bystander or a hostage?”
“I would do that, Ralph.”
“Shut up Ben. Don’t call me Ralph. Its Mr. Worthe to you.”
“Mr. Worthe. How do you know all those Federal Agents are in their right mind?”
“Lightfoot. I think you need to shut up as well.”
“But Daddy. You know about all those shootings by police officers. How do you know there isn’t one of those out there?”
“For heaven’s sake. You all sound like you are lunatics. Enough talk. Gather round.”
“Not going to do it, Ralph.”
“Trudy. You know this will work.”
“Nope. You have been a lousy husband, and I’m not taking one in the head for you. I’m sitting right here. Have a safe trip.”
“Trudy. You sure pick a fine time to bring up our marital problems. Okay so who cares. You stay here. I’m sure you will love spending the next fifty years in jail.”
“Would be better than being with you. Besides, they have nothing on me. You’re the guilty one.”
“Don’t make me laugh Trudy. Everyone knows I don’t have the sense to come in out of the rain and you are the mastermind.”
“Whatever Ralph. As I said, have a nice trip.”
“Okay, the rest of you. On your feet.”
“Sorry Daddy. My mind’s made up too. I’m staying.”
“Suit yourself. I think two hostages will be enough.”
“Count me out pops.”
“Ben. How about I give you a third eye? There is no reason to shoot my loved ones. I can’t say the same for you. Now get up.”
“Well, now that you put it that way.”
“Next time you call me anything but Mr. Worthe I’m going to put one in your kneecap. Got it junior?”
“Sheesh, what a grouch.”
Well, it is too bad we have run out of time. Tune in next week for a conclusion. (er maybe)

40 comments

  1. Hilarious, John. Being I’m not a hostage, I can just sit here and enjoy the story. Good episode. My son loved The Adams Family and so did I. Those movies were hilarious. 😀 — Suzanne

    1. I loved Gomez’s expressions. Thanks, Suzanne.

  2. Gwen Plano · ·

    “er maybe”? Conclusion or not, I’m pulling for Alexis — and now Trudy as well. They seem to have a bit of sense. Great dialogue 🙂

    1. Okay. Got you down for that pair. Thanks, Gwen

  3. I’m sensing an error with Ralph’s plan. Not sure what it is though. Is it smart to walk out with multiple hostages?

    1. Well, it seems that is what he intends to do. Thanks, Charles.

      1. Well good luck to his brain pan. Poor thing is just along for the ride now.

      2. Ha ha ha. Thanks, Charles 😀

  4. OK, somebody needs to shoot someone. There are so many choices, I could make a case for all of them. I’m hanging on until next week, and hanging on to the hope that somehow, this works out where everybody gets what they deserve. I just hope they have enough bullets to go around.

    1. LOL… I think I needed earplugs just thinking about that scenario, Dan. And aspirin. 😀 Hugs all around.

      1. Thanks, Teagan. Don’t forget the wine. 😀

    2. I have a big bag full right here. Hang in there. Thanks, Dan. 😀

      1. Ha ha – I totally trust you, John.

      2. Thanks, Dan. It may be misplaced. (trust that is)

  5. Wow! Dan, getting antsy? You better shoot somebody, John, before Dan does! LOL!

    1. He has been cheering for a hail of lead since the beginning. I love it. 😀

  6. Never being one to hold with custom or writing “rules” of what constitutes good writing, I’ve always said it takes a lot more talent to keep characters alive than to kill them off. (Bleh to all the “development” and “sacrifice” blah-de-blah. I prefer entertainment.) So you’ve worked wonders in keeping this bunch alive for sure! 😀
    Sometimes I wonder if the entire thing is a setup to make Trudy confess… You’ve gotten Ralph to point the finger at her, but how to make her confess… Hmmmm…
    Have a wonder-filled Wednesday. Mega hugs.

    1. You have provided some excellent food for thought. I think I’m going to take you up on that plot twist and give you full credit. If you don’t mind I’m going to make you a sponsor next week. Thanks, Teagan. Have a Whopping Wednesday. Hugs.

      1. Aww John — you’re a crafty one — If I did anything it was some mind-reading (or rather guessing). I don’t need any credit for what you already had in mind.
        I’d be delighted to sponsor your next episode. Just let me know if there is anything I need to do. More hugs.

      2. You need do nothing. I’ll just put your link and the thousands of followers will flock to your gate. (Well, maybe one) 😀

  7. Dear John,
    we have an honour to invite to participate in first ETERNAMENTA AWARDS ‘Most Talented Reader’.
    Best Regards,
    Maria
    More detailed information is here: https://eternamenta.wordpress.com/2016/11/14/eternamenta-blog-awards/

    1. Thank you so much. I will take a look.

  8. I knew I could count on Ben to go along with this. WordPress is up to no good again. You didn’t get to my reader today, but I found you on Facebook. It says I’m still following, so I have no idea what the gremlins are up to.

    1. Hmmmm. Don’t like that. 😦

  9. Couldn’t wait for Wednesday Story Day and now another wait! 🙂 I love the idea of Trudy confessing all. She has absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain. If Ralph has any brains at all, he’ll know that. Okay…’til next week! Well done, John.

    1. Thanks, Jan. It should be interesting.:-)

  10. Not the kneecap!
    Trust me, that hurts like a motherbutler….

  11. You didn’t make it to my WP Reader either, John. I almost emailed to make sure you were okay. Now off to read who’s the clueless one this week….

    1. Damn. What is going on?

  12. I’m on lunchbreak. Went back through and your post showed up. Says it’s nine hours old though. All that writing about national security is catching up with you. Takes that long for your post to pass through NSA scanners.

    1. It was published at 4:00AM central so 9hours would have been pretty close. Glad it showed up. Happy Lunch.

  13. People should not be shot dead. I like the kneecap approach. Ha ha.
    I’m hanging by my now stretching nails. Hope I can hang on till next w-e-e-e-k. o_O 😀

    1. You’ll make it. Here have some wine. Whoops,you need those hands for hanging. I’ll just leave it here then. 😀

  14. Did Ralph just admit to being, er, umm, a little slow? I’m sure you have this all wrapped up nice and tidy.

  15. Poor Ben. I see he’s still acting dense. How does he trust Mr. Worthe isn’t going to shoot him whether he acquiesces or not? Love the way this is building to a conclusion (but I’ll be sad to see it end!)

    1. There is always another story, Debbie. Thanks

  16. Perhaps this would be a good time for a little marriage counseling.

    1. Ha ha ha. 😀 Thanks.

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