It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt is “cramp.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. Other than the obvious I’m going to have to figure a different use. If you would like to be part of this joyous band please visit Linda’s blog and see how easy it is to lose your mind. Here is the link.
Cramp by John W. Howell © 2017
“Attention students. Today we are going to be learning a few words that might be asked by the State Proficiency Test.”
“Teacher?”
“Yes, Johnny.”
“We’ve studied words for months. Why these new ones?”
“Excellent question, Jonny. The Board of Education heard that the state might throw in some different uses of words so we want to be ready. Here is the first word, cramp. Can anyone tell me what that means. Yes, Sally.”
“Cramp is a muscle seizure commonly associated with muscle fatigue or improper stretching.”
“Excellent Sally. Anyone else? Yes, Terrance. Tell us.”
“Cramp is a tightening of the muscles that could be brought on by cold weather or water.”
“Wonderful Terrance. Next? All right Patrice.”
“A cramp is a tool that is used in woodworking.”
“My goodness, Patrice. I’m amazed. Anyone else? Yes, Brad.”
“The word cramp could be used in place of the word restrict as in ‘higher interest rates could cramp housing market growth.”‘
“You are spot on Brad. You all have been marvelous in your knowledge of the word cramp. I think now it is time to introduce you to a few more meanings just in case. Here goes.
Cramp. When you are sent to a place in the summer and it sucks.
Cramp. When you get a gift from your grandfather and it sucks.
Cramp. When your brother or sister turns their music up too loud.
Cramp. When you are riding your bike or skateboard and you wipe out going up an incline for a jump.
Cramp.The sound of your answer when you are eating peanut butter and crackers and someone asks you a question.
Cramp. The wetness on your pants from the dew when you sit on the concrete stoop eating watermelon.
Cramp. What you do with M&Ms when you see your friend Joey down the block.
Cramp. The laud noise you make in the birthday jump house when it gets too crowed.
Cramp. The tightness of your fist when your sister or brother wants something you have.
Cramp. The sound a skydiver makes when he is sure he forgot a parachute. ”
“Mrs Thompson?”
“Yes, Darlene.”
“Are you putting us on?”
“Yes sweetheart I am. I just love the standardized test time and need to relax a little is all. I hope you all enjoyed these. Yes, Joey?”
“Will these be on the test?”
Fiction Favorites 
Hmm, it’s a wild guess, but I suspect nothing cramps your imagination. 😀 Another fun read, John.
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Thank you, Gwen. I suspect you may be right but who can tell for sure?
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When I’m asked to come up with something on the spot – I do believe I develop a creative cramp in that area of the brain.
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I think we all do at one time or another. Like the guy who was faced with a mugger who said, “Your money or your life.” He responds, “Could you repeat the question, please?”
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Good one! I wouldn’t be surprised if that was something I’d do! haha
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😀
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It doesn’t seem like Linda can cramp your style, John. Nicely done.
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Thanks, Dan 😀
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Mrs. Thompson is a hoot! Nice job, John. Happy Saturday!
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Thank you, Jill. Happy Saturday to you * sung to the tune of Kind of a Drag by the Buckinghams
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Good one!
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Standardized tests are definitely cramps.
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Hear, hear. 😀
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[…] “John Howell’s?” […]
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Too funny!! I like Mr. Thompson. Somehow, he reminds me a little of you. 🙂
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Thanks, Jan. 😀
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Holy cramp, that was funny.
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Thank you, Greg. You gave me a cramp to the heart
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Gee, Mr. John, this was a crampy post today! Yes, Joey, this will be on the test!
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Ha ha ha.
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Crampola! You’re GOOD! Happy Holidays, John-boy! MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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Thank you, Bill Ray. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you as well.
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And sometimes it cramps my style! Well done! Cheers for the weekend!
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Thank you, Jo. Cramp on my cheek from a smile.
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LOL!That’s pretty funny, and the witty comments are great!
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I always enjoy the comments. Thanks, Deborah.
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Me too. 🙂
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To be fair, I think the sound of a parachutist who forgets his gear is “Oh, cramp!” 😉 Fun post, John! 😀
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Thank you, Linda. I like yours. Maybe followed with “Cramp it.”
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My go-to when all else fails. 😉 Hehehe.
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I wonder what someone would say when you told them to, “cramp off”
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Go cramp yourself? Which might actually be more interesting to see than the original. 😉
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Ha ha ha.
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There’s no cramping your humor, John.
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Thank you, Jennie. Glad you liked it. 😀
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Especially “Tiny”. 😀
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He is very special
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I think your readers feel the same way. 🙂
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😀
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Best cramp post ever!
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Thanks, Hook
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