Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First MLB All-Star Game in 1933

~ John W. Howell

 

 

Comiskey Park

Today marks the anniversary of the first major league baseball all-star game. It was held in Comiskey Park in Chicago on July 6th, 1933. For all you baseball lovers who have not been able to enjoy the game since the pandemic started, please come along to this fateful day. Don’t forget to take this list with you since it may help you from making a time travel faux pas that could result in a tear in the time continuum.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First MLB All-Star Game in 1933.

10 If you go, do not complain about the choice of players. If you do, at best, you’ll be ignored. At worst, you’ll be overheard by Arch Ward, the sportswriter for the Chicago Tribune, who organized the event. (The problem with your complaint, Linwood is the players were selected by the fans from fifty cities across the country. Arch Ward set the whole thing up, including fan voting, and if looks could kill, you would be on a cold slab right now.)

9 If you go, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ if he can get an autograph of some of the players for you. If you do, at best, Tiny will be busy signing autographs himself. At worst, Tiny has been standing around for hours, and no one has asked for his autograph. (You must understand, Livingston, Tiny is the first client to ever be expelled from the self-worth seminar as a hopeless case. This was not a good time to ask for a favor. Go ahead and ask Tiny if he wouldn’t mind not standing on your foot. I know his breath is hot but you could at least ask.)

8 If you go, do not ask about the National League uniforms. If you do, at best, no one will know what you are talking about. At worst, they will wonder why you are asking. (You see, Llwyd only you know that except for this first all-star game all the players show up in their home team uniforms. So seeing the National League in specially made gray uniforms and navy blue caps was a surprise. )

7 If you go, do not wonder aloud how many of the players present will end up in the baseball hall of fame. If you do, at best, the person hearing you will think you are drunk. At worst, you will be wondering aloud to Kenesaw Mountain Landis, the commissioner of baseball. (Landis will, of course, tell you immediately to mind your own business, Lochlann. For the sake of history, the answer to your question is twenty of the 36 players have been inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Better look out, Landis is talking to Babe Ruth and pointing at you.)

6 If you go, do not ask for a box seat. If you do, at best, the ticket agent will ask for your reservation. At worst, you’ll be told that the box seats are for celebrities and the rich only. (The box seat costs $1.65, Lootah. Not too many could pay that kind of money during the depression. That would be $31.36 in 2020.)

5 If you go, do not complain about your Cracker Jack prize. If you do, at best, the concession person will give you sympathy. At worst, the stadium manager will toss you out. (In 1933, Loren the Cracker Jack company switched the prize selection to almost exclusively toys. The outside of the box is marked “Toy inside.” There are no rings or other household items in the box any longer. The Stadium manager threatened to toss the third person who complained. The second just walked away.)

4 If you go, do not forget to get a program. If you do, at best, there will be one on the ground. At worst, you’ll miss out on the opportunity to have such stars as Babe Ruth, Lefty Grove, Jimmy Foxx, Lou Gehrig, Al Simmons, and Joe Cronin sign your program. (Not to mention even unsigned the original program goes for $379.00, Loring)

3 If you go, do not ask where you can get an autographed ball. If you do, at best, no one will know. At worst, Arch Ward will wonder how you found out about the balls. (Before the game Arch had sixty balls autographed by the players, and then he gifted them to special friends of major league baseball. He is now wondering how you found out, Lothair. That ball is for sale today at $14,999.00)

2 If you go, do not mention that the all-star game is an annual event called “Midsummer Classic.” If you do, at best folks will think the sun got to you. At worst, Arch Ward will think you are trying to steal his idea. (I think I would tread lightly around Arch, Loughlin. He seems rather sensitive about his event. I don’t think it is an accident that he is talking to that big security guard and looking over here.)

1 If you go, don’t forget to congratulate the winners. If you do, at best no one will notice. At worse, the American league will think you are a sore loser. (The American League won the first all-star game 4 to 2 in front of 47, 595 fans. I’m sure they would appreciate your congratulations, Lowell.)

89 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First MLB All-Star Game in 1933”

  1. “If you go, do not complain about your Cracker Jack prize.” LOL! This cracked me up, John. I guess it wouldn’t be appropriate to yell out, “Pitch the ball already!” I love sports, but baseball isn’t at the top of my list. Nice job today, John! Happy Monday!

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  4. If we brought back one of the 60 balls, that would mean someone didn’t get one. Would that be enough to damage the whole space-time thingie? I’m asking for a friend.

    Great list, John. I’m trying to imagine the effort to organize input from 50 cities in 1933.

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    1. It was a big effort, Dan and obviously very successful. I think you could find out who got a ball and then pay them for it. That would keep the whole thing intact. (Might be a big effort) Maybe just bring a ball and get everyone to sign it might be easier.

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  8. My dad grew up in the South, then spent his entire adulthood in California. One would wonder why he loved the Yankees as he did. What a great list, John, but I was entranced by the photo. Fantastic. 🙂

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  9. What an exciting day that must have been! Look at that parking lot – full of antique cars. 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing and great tips!!

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  10. I find it amazing that memorabilia costs a small fortune today! I know it’s historic, but can you imagine paying that much money for the original program or the ball? Wow!

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  11. How I love baseball lore…Cominsky Park. WOW…All those names to sign your program. Now I want to read Shoeless Joe again, for the 25th time. It’s the book the film Field of Dreams was taken from.

    And dammit John, now I want Cracker Jacks. I so enjoy these. 🙂

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        4. I so love what’s old. New York now is being razed in such a caviler manner, it’s stunning. Whole blocks that have stood for decades, gone by way of the wrecking ball. Reminds me of photographs of all the old homes that once graced Fifth Avenue…Vanderbilt Row it was called, that are no longer. Huge, brick and mortar edifices that couldn’t have been easy to raze. I raise objection to it all, but no one even asks me. sigh

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        11. He was enjoying the play, Our American Cousin and was shot at the line “-you sockdologizing old man-trap.” This was the big laugh line in the play and John Wilkes Booth knew the play and fired when the line was delivered.

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  17. Kenesaw Mountain Landis, was a hard ass. But most people say that he saved the game of baseball. And I think they’re right. But I think the best guy in all of baseball was Branch Rickey.

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    1. I agree with you, Landis did approve of the all-star game idea put forth by Chicago Mayor Edward Kelly, who approached Colonel Robert McCormick, publisher of the Chicago Tribune. Branch Rickey was the one who established the farm team system and of course signed Jackie Robenson. The sportscaster Arch Ward is credited witht. he success of the All-star game which helped pull baseball out of the depression.

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  18. If the players and owners can’t get their acts together, we may never see another pro baseball game except through time travel. As bad as Covid is, their back-and-forthing is something to see. It doesn’t bother me, because I’ve never been able to watch an entire game, but it would be sad for people who do enjoy the game.

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