This week marks the 134th anniversary of the first revue stages at the Folies Bergere theater in Paris in 1886. The show was quite a hit, and we certainly want to be there. Grab the list of the Top Ten things not to do so we don’t cause a time continuum tear. Hop in James’s Oldsmobile, and let’s go.
James Wainwright’s Oldsmobile from Eternal Road – The final stop
Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Folies Bergère Revue in 1886 by John W. Howell © 2020
10 If you go, do not gape at the scantily clad dancers. If you do, at best, they will think you’re ill. At worst, you might collect a slap from one of the chorus members. (It seems, Mohsen, that you attracted the attention of Bertha, who was previously with Ringling Brothers Circus. She used to box with the big Grizzley bear. Good luck with your relationship.)
9 If you go, do not laugh at the antics of Tiny, the WWF champ. If you do, at best, he won’t be able to pick you out of the crowd. At worst, Tiny believes he is a serious performer and is now wondering why you are laughing at his performance of Pagliacci. (Of course, you and Tiny know Pagliacci first premiered in 1892, but that didn’t stop him from wailing out what he thought was a fine opera. He is looking for you, Monroe. He said something about high dive. Let’s just say it doesn’t sound like a good thing.)
8 If you go, do not ask what the title of the revue, “Place aux Jeunes,” means in English. If you do, at best, you will ask an older person. At worst, you will ask a young person. (You see, Montague, “Place aux Jeunes” means a place for young people. You know folks who don’t mind a little nudity in their shows. That person you asked is talking to the gendarm over there. The term pervertir keeps coming up. It might be time to leave.)
7 If you go, do not think you can have a feather as a souvenir. If you do, at best, you’ll get a hand slap. At worst, that feather was the cornerstone for the whole costume. (This is a fine kettle of fish you have gotten us into, Montay. Even though it is 1886, causing a person to lose their costume is a serious offense. I hear a bunch of people running your way. It might be good to go the other way for now.)
6 If you go, do not think you can take the stage and sing along. If you do, at best, you’ll fall into the orchestra pit. At worst, your off-tune singing will cause the entire show to stop. (Well, Montez. Believe it or not, the 200 or so who have paid for admission are not pleased about this circumstance. I hear someone calling for tar and feathers. A very tough combination to get off.)
5 If you go, do not ask about the acrobats. If you do, at best, no one will know what you are talking about. At worse, you’ll ask Édouard Marchand. (Marchand was the guy who took a different direction with the Folies, Montrel. He had the idea of an elaborate review featuring women. He will point out to you that acrobats, circus acts, and boxing kangaroos all played at the Folies in the 1870s. He now wants to know if you want your money back. I would tell him no.)
4 If you go, do not ask about the artists Manet and Toulouse-Lautrec. If you do, at best, no one will know them. At worse, you will ask the barmaid. (Now you have given away your status as a time traveler, Moor. Both artists painted famous paintings using the Folies as subject material. In fact, Manet’s A Bar at the Folies-Bergère, painted in 1882, is of that girl. Manet died a year later. This painting did not become famous until long after 1886.)
3 If you go, do not order Absinthe at the bar. If you do, at best, they will be out. At worse, they are having a happy hour special. (You better be careful, Moreley. Absinthe contains the chemical compound thujone made up of a ketone and a monoterpene present in the spirit in trace amounts and was blamed for its alleged harmful effects. That theory has been debunked, but why chance it. Oh, I see. A little too late on the warning. Happy trails to you.)
2 If you go, do not make a bet about how many costumes sets and people are involved in the shows. If you do, at best, you only bet a little. At worst, you put up your virtual farm in Les Baux-de-Provence. (Of course, you lost, Morgen, since who would be able to guess 40 sets, 1000 costumes, and 200 people. I shape you have a virtual deed to your virtual lavender farm.)
1 If you go, do not mention that the show Place Aux Junes does not have the word Folie and thirteen letters like all shows at the Folies Bergère. (Another faux pas, Morpheus. That tradition was established 100 years ago, so you are about 34 years too soon. Don’t worry, I think these guys like the idea anyway.)
Fiction Favorites 
I love these what not to do posts, John… this one will come in handy if I ever get invited!
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It will be handy for me too if I ever get invited. Thank you. 😁
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Me too.
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😊
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#6 is a tip to live by in general. Never rush the spotlight.
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Very true. Thanks, Charles. 😊
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You had me laughing from the start. Great job, John!
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Another great list, John. Who knew a little fun could be so hazardous. LOL!
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That is the big problem with time travel, Gwen. Everywhere you turn there is something you can’t do. 😁 Thanks.
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Uhhh… the more things change, the more they stay the same. These days, we need to check the headlines every day to see what new proscriptions there are. Dancing and singing are out, so the Folies Bergere wouldn’t have a chance today.
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Yes. A check in the morning and afternoon is good. Can change from one time to another.
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Great fun, particularly #7. Oops . . .
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Might want to put that feather back, Liz. 😁
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Chortle.
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snort
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😀
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I would love to time travel but I would probably blow my cover. Unless . . . I pretended to be mute?
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I think you might have folks wondering when you lay a Lancaster county accent on ’em. Of course, depending on when you go you could claim to be Dutch.
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My accent comes from so many different places, that it’s actually no accent at all. And sorry but no Lancaster County to be found in it, LOL.
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LOL
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You could never pretend that Mr. Imma…let’s face it. Also, them women with them pegs in your face. You’re only human, ya know.
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Love the pegs myself. So Pilgrim and I would probably go down together. 😁
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Yes, down with the ship, with a smile on your flushed faces.
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Flushed stupid looking faces.
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Having a hell of a time.
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Of course. 😁
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How could not not with Marco. You’d be like two sailors out on the town.
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SB, you make some great . . . points.
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We speak the truth here at athingirl.com.
Truth, it’s having a one man show at the Orphuem. Our President will not be attending.
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Oh I know it.
Isn’t the President held up in court right about now?
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Did you read Sean Hannity suggested he pardon himself? How can you if you haven’t been charged yet? Is it like a coupon?
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Hahaha. Get out of jail free card
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You know, if we look at The Trump Presidency as a Milton Bradley game, we might be much better off.
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At east our tensions would be less thinking that we could leave the game anytime we want. I like the idea.😊
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Too bad we couldn’t patent it.
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Sean Hannity’s idea of patriotism goes something like this: If you agree with me, you’re a patriot. Otherwise you’re a socialist degenerate who should be charged with treason.
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Good summary, Pilgrim.
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That guy is such an ass hat.
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And hes fat.
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Another strike.
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LOL
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Sean “Fats” Hannity.
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I can see him at a piano now.
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Eating a pizza . . .
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With a big napkin tucked into his shirt.
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A bib . . let’s make it a bib. A flag bib of course . . .
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Yes indeed
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Done.
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He’s got a brand new name. Move over Minnesota…Fats Hannity.
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Yeah, without the game.
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That’s true. He’s got no game, that Fatty Hannity.
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Jackie Gleason is safe.
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I loved him. I’m Gleason fan. Great book on him called, The Great One by William A. Henry III.
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His turn in The Hustler was less acting and more art imitating real life. He was quite the hustler in his younger days.
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I’d say so.
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😉
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Or the savior faire.
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Boss . . . for the WIN!
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Too kind, Pilgrim. 😁
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Truth, Boss.
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Our new favorite whipping boy.
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I hope you don’t get any flack John since, we’re makin’ hay outta Hannity.
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All in good fun.
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That’s what I like to hear. 🙂
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😁
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One could only wish.
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You got that right.
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😊
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They were always so avant-garde, the French!
Always a fun list!
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Thank you, Dale.
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Lemme see that can-can!
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Hahahaha. Ou la la.
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😉👯♂️
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😊
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Avant-guarde Should go into Imma’s Melville file. Makes me want to don a beret and eat escargot with some skinny guy, who will pay. 🙂
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Love those skinny guys who pay. I used to be one. Still pay but can’t be called skinny. 😁
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Then you too must have looked like a tall glass of water in slim black jeans and a turtleneck, scanning the wind list. 🙂
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Yup six feet, 155 pounds. I always warned my companion to avoid certain items on the wind list like the frijoles and English sausages.😁
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That is lean. All legs I’ll bet…or pegs rather. 🙂
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Yes all pegs for sure.
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I like that look. Like a Hockney drawing, or Fanny Cory illustration. It woiks.
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Pant length was always an issue. Try to find Levis with a 28 waist and 32 length. Never on sale
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A tailor perhaps? 28 waist…that is slim.
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Got married and went to 32
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You married a good cook. 🙂
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I remember I did most of the cooking. Not sure why.
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Then you must be a good cook. 🙂
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So I’ve been told. 😊
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To the file! Haha… Don’t forget the Gitanes… They do love their stinky cigs.
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Stinky cigs is right.
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Especially the Gitanes!
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In the blue wrapping.
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Then there are Gauloises as well
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Oui!
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Brevity works in every language.
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That it does. 🙂
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I might be tempted to go, John. I’ll keep the list handy. Maybe I’ll just have Tiny lock me in the car.
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There you go. A very safe option.
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The tar was a hard way to get my feather souvenir.
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Yes it is. Especially in the cold. Thanks, Craig.
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Very fun list! Absinthe fascinates me. Can you buy it today?
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Yes you can. Here is a link https://www.alandia.de/absinthe-usa?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI86_Ytuiq7QIVAY9bCh1T7gY5EAAYASAAEgJU4_D_BwE
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Thanks. Have you tasted it?
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I have not. They say it has an anise taste.
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I have always hated that taste, but my daughter’s fiancé’s mother makes Italian Love Knots With that flavor and I love them!
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You’d never have to worry about me doing #6 – ever.
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Oh I don’t know. A couple of Absinthe shooters and it might be possible. 😊 I’ll be right there with you.
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Boxing with a grizzly bear? That Bertha must’ve been something. And I certainly didn’t know #1. Fascinating list, John — thank you for the heads-up!
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Thank you for going along, Debbie. 😁 As Ed Sullivan used to say, “A really really big shoe.”
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Love the term, scantily dressed. Sure sends one’s imagination off to the races. And if you couldn’t gape at those scantily dressed dancers, why go. As for Tiny, kicking up his heels, hmm…I don’t know, since, how would he look in a pair, ya think? Robert Preston he’s not. But he shouldn’t feel too bad since, being from Connecticut and all, unless they’d let my outfit be made of gingham or madress, I could never pull off that strut across the stage either.
As an aside, I did know a hairdresser once name Absinthe. He did a mean blow-dry, so to speak.
I love these little gems of yours John, as you see. 🙂
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Thank you, Susannah. I think the can-can might be out for all of us. Better to watch the show. 😊
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I knew a can-can dancer. Well, a former one. She was married to the owner of Penthouse Magazine. Now she had a setta pegs.
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Yes, I’ll bet she did.
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She died of breast cancer, but those legs of hers won’t be forgotten. They went on for miles.
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I’ve always been a leg man.
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It’s my best feature. Me and Olive Oyl.
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Hahaha. Always loved Olive Oyl. (maybe it was the pegs)
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She was all pegs John…so we can be assured, Popeye was a leg man. 🙂
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Yup. Two things Popeye and I have in common. Like legs and spinach. (Make mine creamed from Smith and Wollensky’s)
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I will definitely avoid the Absinthe. Great list, John 🙂
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A good idea, Denise.
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I will keep this list handy in case I ever take up time traveling. 🙂 Always entertaining yet full of historic facts. Thanks, John!
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Thank you, Jan 😊
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This was great fun, John!
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I’m glad you liked it, Jennie. 😊
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I did! Not only is the history part growing, but the side comments after each one of the top ten are, too. Super!
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😁
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😊
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I thought of Toulouse-Lautrec as soon as I read your title. When we were in grade school and easily amused by the slightest hint of ‘adult’ entertainment, we called the painter “Too-loose Lautrec.”
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You daring little kids you. At least you had exposure to him. 😊
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[…] Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Folies Bergère Revue in 1886 […]
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No.10 foxed me. I thought it might be, “don’t gape at the fully clad dancers.” But it was France, 1886 or not.
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More good stuff … thanks.
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Thanks for the visit.
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