Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “If”

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

If I could find the time, I planned to go to the Home Depot and pick up some stain for the fence.  The sad thing was I became so involved in a story that the day got away from me. I was writing a story about a guy wanting to buy a new motorcycle. He was very excited to be going to the motorcycle shop to pick out the new bike. He knew he wanted one in black but was unsure if he wished to use chrome or black trim. His friends all voted for the chrome, but he thought it might be too much.

Finally, the time came for him to start out for his appointment with the sales clerk. For the occasion, he put on his black jeans and Harley t-shirt. He had never owned a Harley but felt the t-shirt might give him some credibility when talking to the clerk. Of course, he knew everything there was to know about Harleys. He had been saving for ten years and studied the bikes since he decided to buy one once he had the money.

Leaving his house and opening the door of his Ford Focus, he noticed a strange vehicle heading his way. It was nothing he had ever seen before on a main street. As the speeding machine got closer, he could make out that it was a giant steam roller that looked like it was out of control. When it jumped the curb and rolled over his Focus, he was left holding what was left of the door. The operator jumped down and thanked him for helping stop the out-of-control menace. The guy was still in shock but nodded to acknowledge the compliment. The operator then handed him an envelope and a card and told him to call the company and his car would be taken care of for sure. The operator walked away. The guy looked at the envelope and had a thought that his car was just as flat. He opened the envelope and here’s what was written on a piece of paper. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “if.” Start your post with the word “If.” Enjoy!

If you would like to enjoy go to Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2021/10/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-october-16-2021/

If by John W. Howell © 2021

“If you had not taken all the words, we might have had some fun with the prompt.”

“I guess you didn’t like it.”

“Well, for one. Did the guy get his Harley?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, ‘I don’t know?'”

“I didn’t finish the story.”

“You said it took you all day.”

“Well, some things can’t be rushed.”

“How did the operator know to give the guy the envelope?”

“He was clairvoyant.”

“Come on.”

“Okay, slight plot hole.”

“Slight? You could drive a car through that hole. How wasn’t the guy killed standing there staring at a runaway steam roller like a dope.”

“As I said, he was left with the door. Obviously, the roller missed him.”

“But holding the door, he would’ve been dragged into the wreckage.”

“Apparently not.”

“Dumb story.”

“Thank you. You get to buy the beer because of your sharp review skills.”

“Did you ever get the stain?”

“No.”

“Okay, we’ll stop on the way to the pub.”

“I’m not sure of the color yet.”

“So you never were going to get stain?”

“No.”

“You ought to be in jail for fraud.”

“Poetic license.”

“It should be revoked. Let’s go.”

 

59 comments

  1. Come on, John! Writing stories is so much more fun than buying stain for the fence. I’d be inclined to give the job of staining the fence to a young handyman who’s struggling to support his wife and kids whilst paying off a mortgage and car loan – bicycle fundi and all that. Oh yes, and because I’m lazy, too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes. The problem is finding a young handyman who’s struggling to support his wife and kids whilst paying off a mortgage and car loan – bicycle fund and all that who is willing to work. Most are on Biden’s hand out program. Thanks, Keith.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. If this is a fence staining story Tom and Becky and that long river that has way to many of just four letters in it needs to be in it… but it is too early even for spell checker.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. His poetic license should be revoked is such a great line!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Liz. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Slight plot holes can turn into giant sinkholes. Good one, John! Happy Saturday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They can, Jill. Happy Saturday to you * sung to the tune of Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Faced with having to stain a fence, I might pull in front of a steam roller. I’m not saying that’s what happened here, but…Good story. I’m sure you’ll work out those plot holes. It’s a Ford Focus, that door would have fallen right off. Just make sure you don’t pick the stain after a few beers. You wouldn’t want the HOA on you case over that color.

    Have a nice weekend, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Even more improtant is the Producer approving the color. Might take several iterations of test strips to make it happen. Thaks, Dan. See you at the bar.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m proud of you , John. You know the rules.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Learned over time. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Gwen M. Plano · ·

    Staining a fence is definitely a task to avoid, unless it’s a sunny day, maybe with some music, and the right chair to sit on. Then again, hiring someone to do it all sounds best to me. Quite the story, John. Loved it! 😁 Have a great weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Gwen. I did qet a quote of $5,000. That person clearly didn’t want to do the job. Have a super weekend too.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It seems like nobody wants to work these days. We got two quotes for a slab work but they didn’t show up for the job.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. So typical. 😁

        Like

  7. A runaway steamroller! 🙂

    Like

  8. If the Harley buying story were to continue, I imagine the motorcycle salesman asking the owner of the Ford Focus, “Sooooo…do you actually own a Harley or just that T-shirt?”

    More embarrassing than having been left holding a door…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha. I was sitting in a bar in NYC wearing a San Francisco Giants cap and a guy across the bar asked if I was from there or just liked the clothes. I told him was from there. He bought me a drink.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. The steam roller was fortuitous event I think. Can you imagine the lack of credibility driving up to a Harley shop in a Ford Focus? Great job, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know right? Glad you caught that, Maggie.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It was a great story, John. I love reading your SoCS intros.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you, Maggie. I’ll keep that in mind when I write them. Thanks for letting me know. 😁

        Like

  10. Poetic license… I love it.

    Like

  11. Lol, John! That was quit the story. I love the Clairvoyant comment. 🙂 Too funny!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jan. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Not quit, quite. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Hey, poetic license is a necessity when one is a writer!
    Hope the beer was good and the replaced car an even better one 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The car replacement is a Maserati. The beer is a VooDoo Range. Thanks, Dale

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Now you’re talkin’! Woo hoo!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes indeed. (Which one was the poetic license?)

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Whichever you choose it to be ..

        Liked by 1 person

      4. You should run for political office.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. He he he 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh fer……
    I’ll have a glass of red wine!
    Hey, I’ll bet the car door can be repurposed!

    I actually wouldn’t mind a poetic license. Do I have to take a diver’s test?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You can get a poetic license by telling big fibs. 😁. I sold the door to a circus clown.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aha! Soo… big fibs, eh. I’ll do my best.
        That means when I get my license, I can put a pic of Sophia on it!
        Who was the circus clown? I might know the person. My life is filled with clowns.

        Like

  14. Brilliant John, there’s no way they can steam roller you out of your poetic licence 💜

    Like

  15. Fight for a suspension. Revocation is so harsh.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. Thanks, Craig.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Good one, John! Love the poetic license! Have a good Sunday tomorrow! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Lauren

      Like

  17. I was expecting the piece of paper says, pick out your favorite Harley! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That would be nice. Thanks, Miriam

      Like

  18. D.L. Finn, Author · ·

    I’d rather be writing than staining! He really needs that new Harley after his car got flattened 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true. Maybe they will take his door for a trade in. 🤣

      Like

  19. Well done, John, on this great introduction and use of the prompt word.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Robbie.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. There really IS something to the journey being just as satisfying as the destination. At least on Saturdays, there is.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha. Thank you, Marc.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Billy Ray.

      Like

  21. Maybe the car replacement will be a Bentley.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That would be great. Thanks, Jennie.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Your dream come true. 😀

        Like

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