Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash
Top Ten Things Not to Do in a Fast Food Drive Through
10 If you are going to a drive-through, do not ask the order taker for a dining recommendation. If you do, at best, you’ll get a repeat of the “how can I help you?” At worst, the order person will tell you to eat somewhere else. (Didn’t expect that did you? You better take the advice so you can be assured your drinks are 99% spit free.)
9 If you are going to a drive-through, do not ask for a description of the special of the day. If you do, at best, there is no special. At worst, the order person will believe you are mocking their position and will get even. (Do not lift that lid on the soft drink; just throw it away.)
8 If you are going to a drive-through, do not tell the order taker that this is a to-go order. At best, you won’t hear the comment since the mic is turned off. At worst, you’ll have to sit and listen to the laughter of the entire order crew and patrons as the order taker broadcasts “THIS IS A TO-GO ORDER” over the loudspeaker. (What were you thinking? DRIVE THROUGH. Duh?)
7 If you are going to a drive-through, do not ask for special handling of your sandwich. If you do, At best, you’ll be asked to pull over. At worst, you will sit in the penalty box in the hot sun until the staff finally remembers you are there. (Your special handling request is forgotten as well.)
6 If you are going to a drive-through, do not joke about a wine pairing. If you do, at best, you’ll confuse the order taker and take more time. At worst, the order taker will seek out a manager to find the answer. (The manager’s name is Tiny, and this is the fourteenth-hour Tiny has been at work. Tiny was also the Class A high school wrestling champ in the state and had to relinquish the title because of anger issues. Bon appetite.)
5 If you are going to a drive-through, do not change your order. If you do, at best, you will get both. At worst, you will get the order of the car behind you, which bears no resemblance to what you wanted. (You have to wonder how a burger that big can fit into a mouth.)
4 If you are going to a drive-through, don’t forget to check your order. If you do forget, at best, the only thing missing is a straw. At worst, that deep-fried chicken sandwich you didn’t order triggers your cholesterol and blood pressure to new levels. (“So how did we come to eat that thing?” is the question asked by your doctor. Regrettably, you try to blame the drive-through.)
3 If you are going to a drive-through, do not try to stock your condiment supply with a request for extra. If you do, at best, you’ll get one more catsup, and that’s all. At worst, you will get too many catsups and not enough mustard and mayonnaise. (The charge for all of this will be on your credit card bill, which will be way too much.)
2 If you are going to a drive-through, do not answer “yes” to any questions regarding quantity. If you do, at best, you will spend more and eat more. At worst, the three-week exercise program that had you feeling good will now need a reset. (How can something that only weighs twelve ounces put three pounds on your frame?)
1 If you are going to a drive-through, don’t wait until you get to the order spot to decide you are a vegan. If you do, at best, there will be nothing on the menu for you. At worst, the cars behind you will raise an uproar as you search for an acceptable item. (That police officer heading toward you is responding to the manager who finally gave up asking you for your order.)
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Quite insightful !
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Thank you. 😊
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Clever and funny, John. I especially like the one about not joking about wine pairing.
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Thanks, Karen. I liked that one too. 😁
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I’m positive I’ve been behind people that have done one or all of these things. Some don’t have a clue what they want and spend ten minutes staring at the menu. Good one, John!
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There should be a big handle where the order taker can simply flush them away. Thanks, Joan.
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Exactly. BTW, they were all in line at Whataburger this morning.
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Ha ha ha. Sorry about that.
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Always good to see Tiny in his formative years 🙂
I haven’t made these mistakes, John, but I’ve been behind people who have.
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Me too, Dan. Yes Tiny is starting to firm up for sure. 😊
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🙂
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#4 is the challenge. Most drive-thrus here go right into the street with no place to pull over and check. McDonald’s and Arbys might be the only two that aren’t like that here. Can’t do it at the windows either because of the line.
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I wonder what would happen if a person just said “I have my usual.” The thought makes me laugh.
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A friend of mine did that at a McDonald’s. It worked because he was there so often and they recognized his car.
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Amazing.
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I’m glad I don’t eat fast food…too many rules!
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Ha ha ha. Good point, Jill. 😁
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…and have your money ready so you don’t hold up the 12 cars behind you while fumbling for pennies to make exact change (I confess, I’ve done that)
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Oh, so you’re THAT guy, Steve???
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That is what I was thinking.
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Heh, heh . . .
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😊
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On occasion, I’ve been known to collect my coins from the floor, cubby holes, between the seats, behind the seats…if you’re ever in line waiting, this image will occupy you mind😂
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And make me want to look for something heavy to throw.
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I figure I can take as long as they take to serve my ‘fast food’.
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Well that’s fair for sure.
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Yes, you’re the guy in the grocery store with the plastic bag of coins.
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I carry a dog treat pouch on my belt for training purposes. It comes in handy for coins. But, man, it just slows down the hunt for coins. I get the strangest looks when I handle the cashier 59 cents and 3 kibbles…👀
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😁
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I can only imagine!
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I had a lot of fun ‘chatting’ with you and John, today. Hope you had a great day.
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Good chatting with you as well, Steve. Everyday is a good one as long as I wake up.
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A number of years ago I met an old gentleman at a social event and asked him, “how are you” and he replied, “I’m on the right side of the grass “. I thought that was the perfect answer. Have a good evening, John. Starting tomorrow, I’ll use my credit card so as not to keep you and Liz waiting at the drive through. Maybe I’ll just throw a bill and tell them to keep the change.
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Ha ha ha. “Right side of the grass.” I like that.
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It was a productive day, I’m happy to report!
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This could be a new forum. 😊
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🙂
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He’s the guy.
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Exact change is an older generation trait. I’m just sayin’ Steve. 🤣
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John, I am one of the most boring person you’ll meet. I cling to those ‘old traits’ like a drifter in a life boat…🥴
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My only question is do you have a coin purse?
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Yes, it’s called a zip loc bag , small size to fit in the bottom cubby hole (compartment, for you modern type). However, I still miss the bag at times and have to search the floor. Do you have any idea how bad a penny looks after spending winter under the gas pedal?
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That penny is pretty green I would think
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These are hilarious!
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I’m glad you liked them, Liz. 😁
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Sage advice, John. At least there were no coupon clippers.
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Yeah, I forgot about those. Thanks, Craig.
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When I was a teen and worked fast food one summer, I was amazed at how many people would say it was a to-go order at the drive thru – duh.
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Ha ha ha.
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It’s been a while since I was in one of those lines, but you’ve resurrected memories of waiting for someone to decide what he or she wants to order. I’m sure they were angels meant to teach me patience — but I failed that lesson. 😁
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They could have been the devil’s helpers trying to get you to do something rash. 🙄
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True… 🤣
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🤣 — so true!
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Found this is SPAM
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I swear I have been BEHIND a few of these numnuts!! 😉
Always a fun list, John.
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Thank you, Dale. Had to laugh at your descriptor.
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Always happy to oblige 😉
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😁
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I cannot get beyond the 99% spit free. That extra 1% is looming!
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Always beware.
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Interesting list, John, and I’m pretty sure the violators all live here! I’m especially annoyed when they get the order wrong and I get all the way home, only to find out there’s tartar sauce (yuck!) on my fish sandwich, ha!!
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Yes, it is annoying.
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Sound advice!!
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Thank you, Deborah.
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These are too funny, John! Wine pairing made me laugh! 😂
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Me too, Lauren. Thanks.
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Good ones, John. I wonder what Leo Getz would add?
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Another 20 things not to do.
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I’m pretty sure his language would be rough. 🙂
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True.
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I wish I had time for #4 before driving off. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten the wrong thing. The price of convenience it seems. I think you got the top ten covered and some laughs in there too. 🙂
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Thank you, Diana. That is my goal.
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Lol! Good advice. 🙂 Most definitely check your order before you drive away, no matter how many cars are behind you.
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Good idea. Thanks, Jan
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Very good, John. We have a McDonald’s drive through at the end of our road. I have watched the cars queuing at the drive-through.
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Yeah don’t go in there.
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These are all good reasons to not go to a fast-food drive-through … lol!
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Not counting the fat and salt overloads.
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You know, for a long time, when I did go to fast-food “restaurants,” my go-to meal was a vanilla milkshake and French fries. Not sure I could stomach that now … 😉
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I know what you mean.
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All good advice, John.
And if you think you’re being funny by walking up to the drive-thru window – just plain DON’T!
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I hear you, GP. Not even going to try it.
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All good advice, John. I try to avoid all contact t with drive-through meals if I can.
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Me too. Thanks, Denise.
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Wonderful, dear John! Indeed, Drive through exist, thank God! 🙂
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Always convenient. Thank you, Maria.
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Haha! “I want this order to go.” I’ll bet they could tell some stories.
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I’m sure they could
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I learned most of my life lessons at Wendy’s in college. These are so good, John.
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Ha ha ha, I’m sure they were good lessons, Audrey
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Most valuable being… I can usually streamline a task and move it quicker. Kinda funny.
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Quicker is good. Of course, you may come to a time when more tasks done quicker may not fit the agenda. 😊
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LOL…you’re not wrong.
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😊
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I’m with Jill – too many rules!
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I want to eat a vegan Big Mac. Okay, I want to eat a vegan Big Mac that tastes exactly like a real Big Mac. Okay, I just want a Big Mac, hold the vegan.
Love list, Jefe
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Ha ha ha
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Hee, hee…this reminds me of the Joe Pesci comments on the drive through from Lethal Weapon 2.
https://youtu.be/i9upvWNN3P8 (sorry it’s not sanitized for bad language)
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How can you sanitize Joe? Impossible.
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And frankly, why would you want to? 😆
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Good point.
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Forgot to say, Thanks for the clip.
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Your friend Tiny is quite the busy guy, isn’t he, showing up here and there and being friendly 🙂
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He has made himself known a few times. Thanks, Ankur. 😊
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[…] Top Ten Things Not to Do in a Fast Food Drive Through by Life Expert John Howell […]
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Always worthy advice John 🙂
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Thank you, Debby.
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Reblogged this on NEW BLOG HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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With some of the advices i can personally agree. I got evidences. 😉 Thanks, John! Have a beautiul weekend! xx Michael
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You as well Michael.
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I don’t have a car right now, but I’ll keep this very useful list in mind, John!
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You could try walking through, Olga. Well, maybe not. 😁 Thank you for the visit.
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Clever ones, John! Thanks for sharing! 🤣💕
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Thank you, Janice. I’m glad you enjoyed it
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Clever & funny. Also, should add know what you want before going to a drive through so the line doesn’t hold up for everyone else
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Thank you. That is a good one.
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Sure is my friend, have a good day
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Did you see that clip of an episode of Undercover Boss. It was some burger franchise (I forget which one) and it was during the peak busy time. The boss was was so flustered, the manager (who didn’t know who he was and was young enough to be his youngest son) had to calm him down and was very patient explaining the ropes to him. And I must stress that this was not a put-on. The boss really didn’t know the first thing about his restaurant. Probably had his general manager deliver bags of money to him at the end of every day. Anyway … the best part was when the boss was taking orders for the drive-thru and the person ordered a cheese burger and fries. The boss said, and I quote, “Do you want cheese with that?”
P.S.: I didn’t say anything about how funny your post was because everyone else did. But I like your Top Ten so much I always save them. Sometimes I get busy and can’t get to them right away. But they’re not going anywhere until I’ve read them.
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Love the comment, Andrew. I’m glad you like them and it’s nice hearing so. I didn’t see that episode but I hope the undercover boss saw fit to reward the kid.
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This is pretty funny. I have asked for a recommendation and was disappointed with the response. Check out my blog and follow if you want!!! 🙂😎
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I don’t normally embrace requests to follow but in this case, clicking on the name cherryremix only leads to a “coming soon” landing page. I thought you would like to know. By the way, just leaving a comment is the best way to get followers. You don’t need a “follow me” or “check out” message. Those are most likely to get you put into spam. Hope this helps. 😁 Thanks for the comment.
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Cannot afford them…you could send an invitation next time you go!!! Just, saying!!!
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Maybe I’ll take your order.
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