Top Ten Things Not to Do in a Fast Food Drive Through

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Top Ten Things Not to Do in a Fast Food Drive Through

10 If you are going to a drive-through, do not ask the order taker for a dining recommendation. If you do, at best, you’ll get a repeat of the “how can I help you?” At worst, the order person will tell you to eat somewhere else. (Didn’t expect that did you? You better take the advice so you can be assured your drinks are 99% spit free.)

9 If you are going to a drive-through, do not ask for a description of the special of the day. If you do, at best, there is no special. At worst, the order person will believe you are mocking their position and will get even. (Do not lift that lid on the soft drink; just throw it away.)

8 If you are going to a drive-through, do not tell the order taker that this is a to-go order. At best, you won’t hear the comment since the mic is turned off. At worst, you’ll have to sit and listen to the laughter of the entire order crew and patrons as the order taker broadcasts “THIS IS A TO-GO ORDER” over the loudspeaker. (What were you thinking? DRIVE THROUGH. Duh?)

7 If you are going to a drive-through, do not ask for special handling of your sandwich. If you do, At best, you’ll be asked to pull over. At worst, you will sit in the penalty box in the hot sun until the staff finally remembers you are there. (Your special handling request is forgotten as well.)

6 If you are going to a drive-through, do not joke about a wine pairing. If you do, at best, you’ll confuse the order taker and take more time. At worst, the order taker will seek out a manager to find the answer. (The manager’s name is Tiny, and this is the fourteenth-hour Tiny has been at work. Tiny was also the Class A high school wrestling champ in the state and had to relinquish the title because of anger issues. Bon appetite.)

5 If you are going to a drive-through, do not change your order. If you do, at best, you will get both. At worst, you will get the order of the car behind you, which bears no resemblance to what you wanted. (You have to wonder how a burger that big can fit into a mouth.)

4 If you are going to a drive-through, don’t forget to check your order. If you do forget, at best, the only thing missing is a straw. At worst, that deep-fried chicken sandwich you didn’t order triggers your cholesterol and blood pressure to new levels. (“So how did we come to eat that thing?” is the question asked by your doctor. Regrettably, you try to blame the drive-through.)

3 If you are going to a drive-through, do not try to stock your condiment supply with a request for extra. If you do, at best, you’ll get one more catsup, and that’s all. At worst, you will get too many catsups and not enough mustard and mayonnaise. (The charge for all of this will be on your credit card bill, which will be way too much.)

2 If you are going to a drive-through, do not answer “yes” to any questions regarding quantity. If you do, at best, you will spend more and eat more. At worst, the three-week exercise program that had you feeling good will now need a reset. (How can something that only weighs twelve ounces put three pounds on your frame?)

1 If you are going to a drive-through, don’t wait until you get to the order spot to decide you are a vegan. If you do, at best, there will be nothing on the menu for you. At worst, the cars behind you will raise an uproar as you search for an acceptable item. (That police officer heading toward you is responding to the manager who finally gave up asking you for your order.)

114 comments

  1. Quite insightful !

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    1. Thank you. 😊

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  2. Clever and funny, John. I especially like the one about not joking about wine pairing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Karen. I liked that one too. 😁

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  3. I’m positive I’ve been behind people that have done one or all of these things. Some don’t have a clue what they want and spend ten minutes staring at the menu. Good one, John!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. There should be a big handle where the order taker can simply flush them away. Thanks, Joan.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly. BTW, they were all in line at Whataburger this morning.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ha ha ha. Sorry about that.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Always good to see Tiny in his formative years 🙂

    I haven’t made these mistakes, John, but I’ve been behind people who have.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too, Dan. Yes Tiny is starting to firm up for sure. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  5. #4 is the challenge. Most drive-thrus here go right into the street with no place to pull over and check. McDonald’s and Arbys might be the only two that aren’t like that here. Can’t do it at the windows either because of the line.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wonder what would happen if a person just said “I have my usual.” The thought makes me laugh.

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      1. A friend of mine did that at a McDonald’s. It worked because he was there so often and they recognized his car.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m glad I don’t eat fast food…too many rules!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha ha ha. Good point, Jill. 😁

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  7. …and have your money ready so you don’t hold up the 12 cars behind you while fumbling for pennies to make exact change (I confess, I’ve done that)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, so you’re THAT guy, Steve???

      Liked by 2 people

      1. That is what I was thinking.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Heh, heh . . .

        Liked by 1 person

      3. On occasion, I’ve been known to collect my coins from the floor, cubby holes, between the seats, behind the seats…if you’re ever in line waiting, this image will occupy you mind😂

        Liked by 2 people

      4. And make me want to look for something heavy to throw.

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      5. I figure I can take as long as they take to serve my ‘fast food’.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Well that’s fair for sure.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Yes, you’re the guy in the grocery store with the plastic bag of coins.

        Liked by 2 people

      8. I carry a dog treat pouch on my belt for training purposes. It comes in handy for coins. But, man, it just slows down the hunt for coins. I get the strangest looks when I handle the cashier 59 cents and 3 kibbles…👀

        Liked by 2 people

      9. I can only imagine!

        Liked by 2 people

      10. I had a lot of fun ‘chatting’ with you and John, today. Hope you had a great day.

        Liked by 2 people

      11. Good chatting with you as well, Steve. Everyday is a good one as long as I wake up.

        Liked by 1 person

      12. A number of years ago I met an old gentleman at a social event and asked him, “how are you” and he replied, “I’m on the right side of the grass “. I thought that was the perfect answer. Have a good evening, John. Starting tomorrow, I’ll use my credit card so as not to keep you and Liz waiting at the drive through. Maybe I’ll just throw a bill and tell them to keep the change.

        Liked by 1 person

      13. Ha ha ha. “Right side of the grass.” I like that.

        Liked by 1 person

      14. It was a productive day, I’m happy to report!

        Liked by 2 people

      15. This could be a new forum. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      16. He’s the guy.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Exact change is an older generation trait. I’m just sayin’ Steve. 🤣

      Liked by 1 person

      1. John, I am one of the most boring person you’ll meet. I cling to those ‘old traits’ like a drifter in a life boat…🥴

        Liked by 1 person

      2. My only question is do you have a coin purse?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes, it’s called a zip loc bag , small size to fit in the bottom cubby hole (compartment, for you modern type). However, I still miss the bag at times and have to search the floor. Do you have any idea how bad a penny looks after spending winter under the gas pedal?

        Liked by 1 person

      4. That penny is pretty green I would think

        Liked by 1 person

  8. These are hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you liked them, Liz. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Sage advice, John. At least there were no coupon clippers.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I forgot about those. Thanks, Craig.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. When I was a teen and worked fast food one summer, I was amazed at how many people would say it was a to-go order at the drive thru – duh.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Gwen M. Plano · · Reply

    It’s been a while since I was in one of those lines, but you’ve resurrected memories of waiting for someone to decide what he or she wants to order. I’m sure they were angels meant to teach me patience — but I failed that lesson. 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They could have been the devil’s helpers trying to get you to do something rash. 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Gwen M. Plano · ·

        True… 🤣

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      2. Gwen M. Plano · ·

        🤣 — so true!

        Like

      3. Found this is SPAM

        Like

  12. I swear I have been BEHIND a few of these numnuts!! 😉
    Always a fun list, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Dale. Had to laugh at your descriptor.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always happy to oblige 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  13. I cannot get beyond the 99% spit free. That extra 1% is looming!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Always beware.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Interesting list, John, and I’m pretty sure the violators all live here! I’m especially annoyed when they get the order wrong and I get all the way home, only to find out there’s tartar sauce (yuck!) on my fish sandwich, ha!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it is annoying.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Deborah.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. These are too funny, John! Wine pairing made me laugh! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too, Lauren. Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Good ones, John. I wonder what Leo Getz would add?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Another 20 things not to do.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m pretty sure his language would be rough. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  17. I wish I had time for #4 before driving off. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten the wrong thing. The price of convenience it seems. I think you got the top ten covered and some laughs in there too. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Diana. That is my goal.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Lol! Good advice. 🙂 Most definitely check your order before you drive away, no matter how many cars are behind you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good idea. Thanks, Jan

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  19. Very good, John. We have a McDonald’s drive through at the end of our road. I have watched the cars queuing at the drive-through.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah don’t go in there.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. These are all good reasons to not go to a fast-food drive-through … lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not counting the fat and salt overloads.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You know, for a long time, when I did go to fast-food “restaurants,” my go-to meal was a vanilla milkshake and French fries. Not sure I could stomach that now … 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I know what you mean.

        Liked by 1 person

  21. All good advice, John.
    And if you think you’re being funny by walking up to the drive-thru window – just plain DON’T!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear you, GP. Not even going to try it.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    All good advice, John. I try to avoid all contact t with drive-through meals if I can.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too. Thanks, Denise.

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  23. Wonderful, dear John! Indeed, Drive through exist, thank God! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Always convenient. Thank you, Maria.

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  24. petespringerauthor · · Reply

    Haha! “I want this order to go.” I’ll bet they could tell some stories.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sure they could

      Liked by 1 person

  25. I learned most of my life lessons at Wendy’s in college. These are so good, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha, I’m sure they were good lessons, Audrey

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      1. Most valuable being… I can usually streamline a task and move it quicker. Kinda funny.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Quicker is good. Of course, you may come to a time when more tasks done quicker may not fit the agenda. 😊

        Like

  26. I’m with Jill – too many rules!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. I want to eat a vegan Big Mac. Okay, I want to eat a vegan Big Mac that tastes exactly like a real Big Mac. Okay, I just want a Big Mac, hold the vegan.

    Love list, Jefe

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Hee, hee…this reminds me of the Joe Pesci comments on the drive through from Lethal Weapon 2.

    https://youtu.be/i9upvWNN3P8 (sorry it’s not sanitized for bad language)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How can you sanitize Joe? Impossible.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. And frankly, why would you want to? 😆

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Forgot to say, Thanks for the clip.

      Liked by 1 person

  29. Your friend Tiny is quite the busy guy, isn’t he, showing up here and there and being friendly 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He has made himself known a few times. Thanks, Ankur. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  30. Always worthy advice John 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Debby.

      Liked by 1 person

  31. With some of the advices i can personally agree. I got evidences. 😉 Thanks, John! Have a beautiul weekend! xx Michael

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You as well Michael.

      Like

  32. I don’t have a car right now, but I’ll keep this very useful list in mind, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You could try walking through, Olga. Well, maybe not. 😁 Thank you for the visit.

      Like

  33. Clever ones, John! Thanks for sharing! 🤣💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Janice. I’m glad you enjoyed it

      Liked by 1 person

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