Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Wallpaper

~ John W. Howell

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

A leisurely wait for the magic restorative brew to be finished causes the mind to wander. A quick thought on the subject of redecorating raised by The Producer reminds me to pay attention to the task at hand. The very idea of hanging wallpaper turns the spine into an ice-filled waterfall.

The coffee is ready, and just as a sip is completed, my phone alerts me to another interloper out front. Since it is Saturday, the only assumption that may be valid is a prompt delivery from Linda Hill. Checking the phone does not confirm my hypothesis but gives a glimpse of a large envelope lying on the porch.

A deep sigh reflects the annoyance of entering the security protocol required to venture out the front door. An idea passes that maybe some kind of mail chute would prevent all this falderal.  The idea is forgotten while opening the iron gate, lifting the steel bar, rolling back the concertina wire, disengaging the tear gas system, and unlocking three bolts plus two locks. The front door is thrown open.

Standing looking like they had been hit by a stun-gun was Ralph Wolf and Sam Sheepdog. “What do you guys want?” was the peevish question leaving my lips without an escort. “Morning Ralph.” Morning Sam.”

Okay so after a few moments of confusion the pair reached down and picked up the envelope. They smiled and handed it to me. They then punched the timeclock (Where that came from is anybodys guess) and picked uptheir lunch pails and walked down the drive.

Opening the evvelope was a surprise since there was a message written in sharpie on a piece of wallpaper. It read Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “wallpaper.” Use it however you’d like. Have fun!

To have fun go to Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is to join it. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2022/08/05/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-6-2022/

Wallpaper by John W. Howell © 2022

“Ralph and Sam?”

“Yeah.”

“Where did you come up with those two?”

“I always liked them. They made their bebut when I was twelve years old and I thought they were hysterical.”

“But no one else knows them.”

“Maybe you don’t but plenty will.”

“What’s with the blatent and gratudious use of the prompt?”

“What do you mean?”

“You just threw in the word wallpaper like it was an after thought.”

“I just didn’t want to go down a wallpaper route. There are threats enough about redecorating without courting disaster. I hate wallpaper.”

“Tell us how you really feel. I think I’ve been to a group session of wallpaper survivors. By the way you don’t happen to have a photo of Ralph and Sam do you?”

“How’s this?”

“Oh I remember them.”

“Of course you do. Now that your memory has been jogged do you know who’s buying.”

“Sadly I do.”

“Let’s go. There is a Voodoo Ranger calling my name.”

“Do you have a picture of that too.”

“I keep it in my wallet. Here you go.”

“Okay then. Let’s go.”

98 thoughts on “Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Wallpaper”

  1. Boss

    I need the 411 on the wallpaper group. And no . . never mind, I will just go to the Voodoo Ranger therapy session. Two rounds will do the trick.

    You aced the challenge again Sheriff

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I hadn’t heard of Ralph Wolf and Sam Sheepdog before. When it comes to wallpaper, my worst experience was stripping nonstrippable wallpaper put up inthe ’50s and painted over decades later.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. In the same house, I’d just finished painting the kitchen ceiling, when it started drooping. We didn’t know that there was some kind of fabric or paper hiding cracks in the plaster, and the oil-base paint loosened whatever adhesive had been used to put it up, and the whole thing came down. Never again!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Well I have not hear of these two but I love the look of them both 💜💜 I see the sheep dog is the old English type as opposed to your normal collie and the Wolf is not too distant a relative of Willie Kyote!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I remember when I was a kid our next door neighbor had black wallpaper. I think they had a few Voodoos before making that decision! Happy Saturday, John sung to the tune of To Know Him is To Love Him by the Teddy Bears. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Maggie. it was one of the words from the 70s. At least I heard it more then. 😁 This IPA has big flavor, aroma, and kick. Gotta love hops to enjoy.

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  12. John, my father was a painter/paper hanger so I picked up some tips. I actually found paper hanging relaxing…until my biggest critic began nitpicking. Then I hung up my passing brushes, scrapped my board and took up drinking (not true). Pay all my expenses and I’ll consider doing the job for you, if you don’t mind a few faux pas from a slightly shaking hand.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I am with you on the wallpaper thing. When visiting potential houses, we found one that we really liked except. EVERY SINGLE ROOM was papered. Nope. Nyet, Nein.
    As for Ralph and Sam – excellent choice, I love them.
    AND, I have it on good authority I shall finally taste VooDoo Ranger in two weeks 😉 Woot!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good news on the VooDoo Ranger. Let me know how you like it. I find it’s best served in a glass that has been chilled. Brings out the aromatics better that way since the chill releases the gas better and you get a nice head on it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am rather excited about it and I shall make sure that the glass is properly chilled (when at home, my glass is always chilled) so I can get the proper effects. Shall notify my partner in crime 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  20. I remember Sam & Ralph. Poor Ralph must be related to Wylie Coyote. They’re both losers who use ACME products.

    Does that Voodoo Ranger Beer taste a s bad as it looks? I mean that in the good way!

    Wall paper should be made illegal. Although leftover bits make okay wrapping paper. Good up-cycling move.

    As for the time clock, I heard a rumour that the steel bar and the concertina wire got together for a 1 nighter and had a love child.

    Okay another Saturday. Time for wine!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes it tastes as bad as it looks. Aromatic coupled with “hair on your chest” flavor makes it a winner. High level of alcohol doesn’t hurt either. This is not your carbonated defrost lite beer kind of thing. This is Ale. (Makes me want a joint of elk to pick up and eat then throw the bone to the dogs) Maybe a joust or two after dinner.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. LOLOL!!!!
        Just reading about this beer is causing hair to grow on my knuckles. SIGH!
        I’ll have to wear gloves to the paying of respects tomorrow. Makes me wonder why I bothered doing my nails?

        Liked by 1 person

  23. I had an apartment at University that was far too bright so instead of buying expensive drapes I bought some cheap wallpaper and wallpapered the lower windows. I thought it was brilliant! My landlord never knew. I love Sam and Ralph! That takes me back…

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Haha! I love the idea of a wallpaper therapy group. If you can put up wallpaper with a spouse or girlfriend without snapping at one another, then your relationship has a chance.😊

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Punching the time clock brings back memories, as do those cartoon characters. One of our major grocery chains in the Philadelphia area is called Acme. Been around forever, with a loyal customer base. Every time I see one, I think of how many items were bought from the “other” Acme in those Warner Brothers cartoons. Could you imagine the product reviews Wile E. Coyote would have left for their products if the Internet was around back then?

    Liked by 1 person

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