I am pleased to welcome Geoff Le Pard, who has a new book in paper and Kindle. Many of you know Geoff’s work from his blog and his other books. I hope more of you get to experience Geoff’s unique way of telling a story, a poem, an anecdote, or a travel adventure. Geoff’s go-to style is humor with a bit of spice thrown in for good measure. So here is his latest book, and I would encourage you to visit his blog. You will be entertained. Here’s the link geofflepard.com.
The blurb
What would you do if you were to host a dinner party and the sky wasn’t what you’d ordered? Could you find someone to shake out the creases from the clouds and tone down the wind to an acceptable zephyr? And what are the challenges facing a Portal Management Volunteer as they steer the recently departed to their chosen Hereafter? Or how would you organise your life if you were called to do God service just when you’d planned on making marmalade that weekend? Life, DEATH and Other Characters will inform and, where necessary, guide you through these and other complications amongst a lot of other short fiction that will educate inform and entertain. Well, maybe one out of three.
An excerpt
Send In The Clouds
Celia Pomeroy pressed the intercom. ‘Yes?’
‘Mrs. Pomeroy?’
Whoever was at the front gate sounded cheerful. Celia wished she could muster such bonhomie.
‘It’s Rebecca. From Landscape Cleaners. Skies, views, and aspects are our speciality.’
‘Lands…? Oh, are you here about our aspect?’ Thank heavens, she thought. Hosting Gerald’s business contacts would be hell enough without the right view to set everything off.
‘That’s right. We’ll soon have you shipshape and visually credible.’
‘Do you want to drive round the back, and I’ll show you what we need.’ The girl – Rebecca, was it? – had better be as good as she’d heard. Pulling on her sou’wester and heavy-duty wellingtons, Celia headed for the back of the house.
As she emerged from the French windows, Rebecca was easing herself out of her van, clutching an enormous umbrella. She smiled enthusiastically. ‘How can we help? You said you’d spoken to some party planners?’
Celia wrapped her arms around herself, trying to shrink inside her coat. ‘We bought this place a few weeks ago, but we had no idea that might happen.’ She waved at the trees. ‘I mean, who’d do that?’
Rebecca squinted where Celia had pointed. ‘I’ll go and check in a moment, but from here, I’d say sprites or possibly sprites and tree faeries. Didn’t the vendor mention the need to pay them fealty?’
‘No.’
‘It’s pretty standard. You should take it up with your lawyers. It’s something you’d expect to be disclosed when they do their inquiries.’ She peered at the troubled branches again. ‘That weaving is pretty recent, so we should be able to unknot everything and then defrustigate your arbours.’
‘Will this fealty cost much? We’ve lived in the city up to now, so I’ve no experience of these rural practices.’
‘Oh no. A few bowls of milk and a daily newspaper. That should see them right. What else?’
‘The sky? The party planners told me it needs a clean.’
Rebecca looked up. ‘It is pretty scuffed and rumpled. We’ll reel it in, give it a good wash and shake and then rehang it. Don’t worry; when the boys put it back, they’ll tuck it in and no one will know it’s been down. We can iron it, but some people think it looks a bit too perfect. Are the planners aiming at rustic or sophisticated?’
‘Sophisticated with a supercilious overtone.’
‘Then we’ll iron it. If it’s too flat, give us a call, and we’ll have someone puff it out a bit.’
Celia began to relax. ‘I’m so glad you came.’
‘It’s why we’re here.’ Rebecca licked her finger and stuck it into the air. ‘This wind is fairly boisterous. If you’re aiming at sophisticated, shall we tone it down?’
‘Is that easy?’
‘It should be. We can add in some bespoke zephyrs to accompany the coffees and liqueurs, if you like. Maybe you should raise it with the planners and let me know.’ She grinned. ‘I’ll just take a few pictures and measure up. Why don’t you go back inside? It’s a bit chilly out here.’
‘Yes, I’ll do that. Oh, one other thing. I wondered if you knew anything about flowers.’
‘Flowers?’
‘A friend told me it’s the latest addition to the best organised parties. You have arrangements and bouquets and all sorts.’
‘Really? No, I’ve not heard this. How does it work?’
‘Well, it did sound a bit fantastical.’ Celia giggled. ‘The way I heard it, there are these specialists – flowerists, I think they’re called – who buy in a lot of cut flowers and -’
‘Cut? As in severed from their stalks?’ Rebecca took a step back. ‘That sounds barbaric!’
‘It does a bit, doesn’t it? I think we’ll stick to the tried and tested. One final thing. Do you do moon dimmers? I’ve heard we’re in for a full moon on Saturday, and I don’t want it detracting from the light show.’
‘It’s not a service we offer, but I have a good contact at Lune In A Tic, who provide all your lunar requisites. I’ll give you their number before I leave.’
‘Marvellous. I’m making coffee. Would you like a cup?’
‘Lovely.’
* * *
Geoff’s Bio and links
Geoff Le Pard started writing to entertain in 2006. He hasn’t left his keyboard since. When he’s not churning out novels, he writes some maudlin self-indulgent poetry, short fiction, and blogs at geofflepard.com. He walks the dog for mutual inspiration, and most of his best ideas come out of these strolls. He also cooks with passion if not precision.
Geoff Le Pard’s Amazon Author Page
Fiction Favorites 
Congrats, Geoff on your latest release. That excerpt intrigued me 🙂
Thanks for hosting, John!
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Geoff does good story telling for sure. Thanks, Denise.
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Thank you Denise. John is a true gent and I don’t deserve him.
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Oh yes, you do!
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You tell him, Peter
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Oh no I don’t…
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He’s behind you – as are we!
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Step by step. Slowly I turned.
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and it would be good if you stayed there….
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😊
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[…] Life, Death & Other Characters by Geoff Le Pard #Newbook […]
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Thank you, Charles.
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Thanks for hosting today, John. A big congrats to Geoff!
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Thank you for your support, Jill. 😁
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Thank you Jill. You’re very kind
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Thanks for the intro, John. I’m definitely interested!
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Geoff writes terrific stories for sure, GP.
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Thank you GP. If you do have a look, I hope you enjoy.
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I’m sure I will.
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Congratulations, Geoff. Sounds like a lot of fun.
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Thanks, Craig. 😊
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Thank you Craig; it was to write so i hope all readers can find something to enjoy
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Congratulations to Geoff on his latest release! Sharing to help spread the word. (That’s a great cover, by the way.)
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Thank you for sharing, Liz. 😊
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You’re welcome, John.
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😊
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Thank you so much Liz. I don’t deserve the support. (and my cover designer is something of a genius, even if I’m worryingly suited to a spectral being)
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You’re welcome, Geoff.
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This excerpt is fabulous. There’s something going on beyond a landscaping conversation!
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I think so too, Vera. Thanks for the observation. 😊
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Thank you Vera. I enjoyed this story enough to include its essence and the weather manipulator in a novel I’m trying to write… I hope it has legs.
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Thanks for introducing Geoff, John. The story line and excerpt definitely fascinate me.
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Geoff tells great stories, Tim. Thanks for the comment. 😊
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My pleasure, John. 🙂
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I’m delighted to draw you in, Tim. John’s support is invaluable.
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He’s amazing, Geoff. It’s good to discover your work.
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thanks Tim
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Geoff is an incredible story teller with a fertile mind – and a knack for making you smile!
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Yes, he is all of that, Noelle. Thanks for pointing out his qualities. 😁
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You are too kind; I’m also the worst kind of guest, in that I manage to forget my host… Thank you
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This looks like a fun read indeed! It’s now on my list. Thanks for growing my TBR, John 😂
Congratulations, Geoff, on your new book, and wishing you every success!
Thanks for sharing, John.
Hugs 🤗💕🙂
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Thank you, Harmony. I know the problem of the growing TBR list. So many good things to read.
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Harmony, you are very generous. If ever the coin comes down on my cover, I do hope you enjoy it! Thank you
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What a clever and fantastical concept. Best wishes, Geoff. Thanks for hosting, John.
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Thanks for the support, Staci. 😁
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Staci, you are very welcome. I suppose I dream of being able to change the weather to suit; perhaps it’s because of the variety we get in England…
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That sounds interesting!
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Sounds that way to me too, Rachel.
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I can but hope it tuns out that way. Thank you Rachel
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Thank you for sharing with us, John! From the excerpt alone, I’m intrigued! What a fascinating idea, Geoff. This must be added to my list!
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Geoff tells great stories. Mar.
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He’s chosen well, has our Mr Howell. I hope the rest lives up to expectations!!
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Congrats, Geoff on your latest release. Your book sounds amazing. Thank you, John, for sharing this good news.
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Thank you for the visit and support for Geoff, Gwen.
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Oh, such flattery; I’m blushing. Thank you, Gwen for the encouragement and support.
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Congrats to Geoff, and I’m intrigued by this wonderful excerpt!
Thanks for hosting, John!
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Thank you, Lauren. He certainly is a good writer.
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It’s a wide mixture, if you get to it, Lauren, and I hope you enjoy. Thank you for the support.
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You’re very welcome, Geoff, and I’m sure I will.
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Thanks for hosting, John. It’s terrific to see something new from Geoff — and ever so Geoff it is too. I look forward to reading it. Hugs to you both.
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Thank you, Teagan. You re right, it is ever so Geoff.
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Thank you Teagan. I am flattered… I think! Thank you for the support.
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Loved the excerpt, John! Thanks for sharing. I’m heading straight over to Amazon to check the book out. Nothing I can use more these days than a few good laughs, and I suspect this book will give me plenty. It’s an intriguing concept, too.
I’ll also be checking out Geoff’s blog. I’m way behind on everything, but very glad I stopped by here today. Thanks, John, and best wishes to Geoff for a huge success with Life, Death, and Other Characters. (I even love the title.) 😀
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He has a wonderful blog and is very creative.
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Marcia, you are so kind to give me so much if your time. I do hope you enjoy it if you dip inside it’s pages.
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It’s already happily residing on my Kindle, Geoff, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to love it! Best wishes for a kajillion sales! 😀
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Ah, John. My, what a star you are and I am the most appalling of guests to mess up my days so much that I not only failed to visit promptly but I’ve yet to repost this wondrous level of support. Truly I don’t deserve you and your unbelievably thoughtful followers.
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I think they all enjoyed seeing you here. Best wishes on the book.
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stop being nice to me; I’m officially a twit…
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But a lovable twit.
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Well, other’s will judge… in fact far too many do…
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[…] FICTION FAVOURITES […]
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Thank you for sharing the post, Geoff.
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only 24 hours late….
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Sun dials can run slow you know.
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Tis true but at least twice a day they are right (sun permitting)
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A great review John and indeed Death and Other Characters is another notch in Geoff’s very notchy bedpost.
I hope none of those characters try to hijack your Saturday morning coffee! 💜
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thank you Willow; I try not to think about bedposts; I have a feeling they may become a character…
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Oh! There’s a thought !
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I will be taking a break until next Monday, Willow. So i think the coffee will be okay.
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Excellent 💜💜
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I am glad to hear that John I hope you are taking a good break 💜💜
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Lucy our boxer will be going over the Rainbow bridge tomorrow so the break is needed.
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Oh! John I am so sorry to hear this it is so heartbreaking. Our beloved Ruby will be waiting there to greet her as goes over . No doubt she will have lots of friends there but Ruby has only been there six weeks. Take care . 💜💜💜
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I remember when Ruby left. Thanks Willow. 💙
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Take care John 💜💜
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Geoff’s splendiferous tales are always a joy! Thanks for hosting this John.
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My pleasure, Peter. I enjoy Geoff’s writing even more than my own.
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Congrats on the new release, Geoff!
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thank you Teri!
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Wonderful review, John. Geoff is such a great writer and storyteller.
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thank you Jennie; very generous
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You are most welcome, Geoff. I have been amiss at reading many blogger’s posts, a sign of the work load at the end of the school year. I’ll catch up soon. Congratulations on your new book!
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many many thanks, Jennie
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Yes he is. That excerpt is but a taste.
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😀
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Ola
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Ola.
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Gostaria de ler mais sobre suas histórias
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Geoff tem ótimas histórias
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Dan I left a message for you about Lucy but don’t find it here. I’m so sorry that time has come as it always does. I lost my Little Brown Boston named Tide last year after 14 years. It really broke my heart and I’m sending you my deepest condolences. May the sweet memories she left for you bring smiles to your faces whenever you think if her. ❤️
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Thank you so much, Holly. I appreciate your condolences. Lucy was with us for over 13 years so I know how you feel about Tide. Thanks also for sharing your grief.
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Sending hugs John.
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Thank you, Holly.
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Hi John, I am delighted to see Geoff here with his new book. I do have it and will read it soon.
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Thank you, Robbie.
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