Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Photo Shoot.

~ John W. Howell
Photo by Christian Wiediger on Unsplash

 

This list ran on July 24, 2017. I think it is still current, at least for me. I hope you enjoy it.

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Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Photo Shoot.

This list was inspired by my Producer. We did a shoot yesterday, and the subject of Ten Things Not to Do came up. I have to admit publically that I only did number ten once. The rest – all fiction. I hope you enjoy the list.

10 If you are on a photo shoot, do not ignore the advice of your Producer. If you do, at best, you’ll have lousy photos. At worst, you’ll have bad pictures and an ex-producer. (See what happens when you ignore good advice, Pard?)

9 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take photos of people without permission. If you do, at best, you may have to run fast. At worst, you will take a lovely photo of Tiny, the WWF champ, before he can suck in his substantial belly. (Funny how that camera turned to dust in Tiny’s hand, huh, Tex?)

8 If you are on a photo shoot, do not try to get the whole picture while backing up to the edge of a cliff. If you do, at best, a fence will stop you from going over. At worst, you will be catching multiple shots of the cliff face whizzing by you. (It is now time to worry about the landing, Putz.)

7 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take too many pictures of the same thing. If you do, at best, you’ll waste camera memory. At worst, your Producer will believe you have some kind of fixation on the object. (Sure, you can explain away a building, but that person in a bikini is another matter right, Ferd?)

6 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take the shot until you check the camera settings. If you do, at best, the last setting is still okay for this shot. At worst, you will get home to find that the day’s best shot is a blur. (Oh, don’t worry, Buford. You’ll get another chance to photograph that rare bird in flight. Maybe in the next life.)

5 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take the shot until you check the background. If you do at best, all is good. At worst, that cute puppy in the background just decided to lift a leg as you pressed the shutter button. (And, of course, this is the only photo of the scene, hey, Bunky?)

4 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take photos of places where you see signs that say “No Photographs.” If you do, at best, you might get away with one or two with no flash. At worst, just as you are about to take the first photo, the word SECURITY appears in your viewfinder. (That guy is big and very close to you, Buzzy.)

3 If you are on a photo shoot, do not get carried away with the scene. If you do, at best, you may forget to set something. At worst, every one of your photos has the camera body strap or your thumb front and center. (Well, that was fun. Maybe the circus will return next year, and you can try again, Doofus.)

2 If you are on a photo shoot, do not enter private property to take photos. If you do, at best, you may be asked to leave. At worst, you might be unable to outrun that gigantic bull you thought would make a great picture. (You did see the “No Trespassing – Wild Bull” sign, didn’t you, Ace?)

1 If you are on a photo shoot, do not ignore the weather to get your shot. If you do, at best, you might get wet. At worst, that bolt of lightning sure cleared your sinus. (You know not to stand in water in an electrical storm, don’t ya, Bosco?)

71 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Photo Shoot.”

  6. Okay, I confess to doing #4 once. Couldn’t resist snapping a photo of Ringo Starr on stage. (As did a lot of other concert goers.) 😀

    John – never ignore the Producer again!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I laughed at #7. Please define “too many pictures.” There are days when I come home with fifty photos of a single plant, although it’s also true that forty-eight may get deep-sixed.

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  8. The most unruly set of picture takers I have experienced has invariably been at children’s functions in school. No rules apply when parents want to click their kids on stage.

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  10. Another hilarious list, John. I think I passed your Top Ten points, but hubby fails at #7. He has dozens and dozens of the same picture, same angle, maybe a second apart. Oh well, it’s his camera. Mine is just my cell phone. 😊

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  16. Maybe I should print out your advice and carry it with me when I’m out on a photo shoot! 😉
    “At worst, you will be catching multiple shots of the cliff face whizzing by you.” But at least, you can title each of these shots :so far everything went well”! 😉

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  21. About the only thing I’ve ever done that could be considered a photo shoot was to have a photographer (a former student of mine—aren’t they all 🤣) take photos of my wife and me on our 35th wedding anniversary two years ago. I’ll keep your suggestions nearby. 😊

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  22. These are still good, John! I suppose all of us who have a fascination for photography have committed at least one of them (even if we’re too ashamed to admit it!)

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  23. As someone that loves photography, I can honestly say I’ve done a few of these items on your list, John. And multiple times. Appreciate the advice!

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