The machine works its magic. No begging, threatening, cajoling, or tears were needed for a delicious cup of steaming stuff that makes life worth living. The first sip rushes the caffeine to the brain like cocaine on steroids. The brew’s intense flavor is conducive to several chews rather than a simple swallow. It is always love at first taste of the drink we choose.
After the sip has me centered, a loud noise sends Twiggy off on a barking jag that will eventually clear the neighborhood. Checking my phone, I see a big old box has been dropped on the front porch. There is a tag in the corner that gives me a hint that life is about to get more stressful. The tag has big block letters spelling ACME.
The security system must be shut down to investigate the box. The tower machine guns are deactivated, the moat screen rolled, the concertina wire retracted, the boiling oil set to standby, the claymore mines detached, The trebuchet reset, the iron gate opened, and the locks and bolts thrown.
The front door is carefully opened, and the box is examined. There is a string with an envelope attached. On the outside of the envelope, the printing says OPEN and READ ME. Following the instructions, there are two letters inside. The first is from Linda Hill and reads. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “chews/choose.” Use one, use ’em both, use ’em any way you’d like. Bonus points if you get ’em both in. Have fun! The second is from the President of Warner Brothers. It says simply, We hope you enjoy your gift.
To see how other bloggers have responded to the prompt, visit Linda’s blog. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2023/09/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-2-2023/
Chews/Choose by John W. Howell © 2023
“Well, you got the bonus points.”
“Yup. Sure did.”
“What are those bonus points used for?”
“Anything you choose.”
“What do you use them for?”
“I’m buying a Bentley Turbo Convertable.”
“Wow. You can do that?”
“Sure.”
“When do you get the car?”
“Well, it will be a while cause I have to buy it piece by piece.”
“What?”
“Yeah. I have four lug nuts so far.”
“Four lug nuts? At this rate, it will be forever. Sounds like a fool’s errand.”
“See, there marks the difference between us.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have a dream and am working on it. You are more day to day.”
“But four lug nuts. That is almost enough to hold one tire on a nonexistent car.”
“How many Bentley lug nuts do you have?”
“None.”
“The journey starts with the first step. Before you know it, I will be cruising in my convertible.”
“If you can still get a license at that age.”
I’m going to change the subject. How about a VooDoo Ranger?”
“At last, you get to the essential parts of life. Uber is here.
“Can’t wait to see wait the sale vehicle is today.”
“It’s over there.”
“What is that thing?”
“It is a vehicle that paints lines on the street. Got a good price ’cause they need to paint the lines on the road that runs by the pub.”
“Where do we sit?”
“See that trailer with all the cones.”
“Yeah.”
“We sit there and place the safety cones next to the new lines on the way.”
“What fun.”
“I knew you would be thrilled. Here, take some of these tobacco chews. Goes with the job.”
Fiction Favorites 
My advice is don’t open that ACME box. No good can come from it. Love the four lug nuts bit. Now, that’s cockeyed optimism!
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They have become a metaphor for the impossible dream. 😁
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I like “four lug nuts” as metaphor. I’ll have to remember it.
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😁
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Let’s go! Those lines aren’t going to paint themselves. Great job on the prompt. Try not to spit on the wet paint. I can’t wait to see what’s in the box.
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As Liz says it can’t be good. Thanks, Dan
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Haha, “Where do we sit.” Enjoyed this one, John!
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Thank you, Vera. I enjoyed writing it. Sometimes it does seem self indulgent so it is good to hear you liked it. 😊
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haha, from a Bentley dream to a street painting machine – well, whatever gets you to where you’re going!
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Shows the range of goofy I can go through. Thanks, GP.
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I’m not touching that…. 🤪
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🤣
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LOL I really enjoyed this. 🙂
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I’m so glad, Kymber. Thanks for letting me know. 😁
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I choose beet pulp over the toebacky.
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Good choice. Spit is the same though
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More bonus points if you can spit through the top of the cone before it’s out of range.
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Good one. Have to try it.
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Maybe Bentley’s will be self-driving in the future and you won’t need the license.
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That is a great thought, Charles. I’ll have a custom on made with chair lift and gin bar.
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Gin bar would make traffic more tolerable
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I think so too.
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I completely agree with you…” The brew’s intense flavor is conducive to several chews ”. There’s nothing like a couple of tobacco chews first thing in the morning…what a rush!🐳
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Ha ha ha. Thanks, Jim.
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LOL! This was great, John. Happy Saturday!
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Thak you, Jill. Happy Saturday to you * Sung to the tune of the Boll Weevil Song by Brook Benton
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Great tune!
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😊
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Oh, John–your security system never fails to make me smile. Orange cones…there must be gazillions of them over roads worldwide. Just make sure you get them in a straight line. The command order.
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Aye, aye, Lois. Straight it is.
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I guess if it comes to a choice between a pack of smokes or a pouch of twists, one could choose the chews. 🙂 Riding the line painting machine will still get you there, like the deuce-and-a-half laundry truck I rode in the back of to Saigon once. 😀
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Ha ha ha. I’ll bet that Saigon story is a good one. Nice thing about chews in the humid heat is you don’t dry out in the mouth.
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You’ve earned a ribbon for this one, John. Hilarious and very clever. Enjoy the day and whatever is in the ACME box. 😄
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Thank you Gwen. I’m si glad you like it. Have a super weekend. 😊
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Ha! Ha! Great uber ride this time, and doing double duty. Fantastic use of the prompt, John.
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Thank you, Jan. Glad you liked it.
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Haha! Four lug nuts. Well, at least that’s a start.
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It is a start. Thanks, Pete.
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Buying the car piece by piece , John, reminds me of the Johnny Cash song, ‘One Piece At Time’ where he takes parts from his assembly line job in an automotive plant over many years. If you don’t know it, you’d find it your kind of funny. Have a great Labor Day holiday.
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I know and have enjoyed that song, Steve. That is a great one. Happy Labor Day to you.
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👍
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😊
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Loved your ‘chew/choose’ story, John! Great job. Oh, and I hope you soon get the other 16 lug nuts, then you can start on the chassis! What a great project!
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Shouldn’t take too long. Thanks, Jill
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Constructing a car one piece at a time is truly playing the long game.
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Very long game. 😁
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We hope you enjoy your gift? Well that’s a teaser. I won’t have to cut my nails till next Saturday. Super on the prompt, John.
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Sounds good, Jennie.
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😀
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Good luck with that Bentley! Some assemblage is required, I presume. Still looking for a 1930 Model A phaeton I can afford.
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That is a beautiful car, Noelle. Maybe a deserted barn someday.
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We can hope!
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That’s up there with the Bentley wish.
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Ahh, normalness has returned.
So…. what does the president of WB hope you like? There’s got to be more to it than a letter from Linda.
I’m choosey about my lug nuts, and thinking this is a trick post.
At least you’re painting the white lines before the VooDoo Ranger kicks in and you’re VooDoo Stranger.
Wavy lines could be a problem.
😵💫𝖃 😵💫𝖃 😵💫𝖃 😵💫𝖃
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Ha ha ha. I’m not sure what the President wants to give me. We will have to wait until next Saturday. 😁X😁X😁X😁X We did get the lines done before the VooDoo Ranger wrangler. They are yellow lines this color 😊
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I hope you had a great Labour Day, John. A good break from the labour of placing those cones.
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Hey, it’s a start, right? Better than waiting and wishing, I say.
As for the ride, that sounds kinda fun, to me! Jeez… it’s Friday and I’m reading last Saturday’s…
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You have been busy I’m thinking.
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I have! Working and cooking and canning. My back and knees are protesting. And I’m not done! 😜
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Congratulations.
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Thank you 🙂
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