A note on the coffee machine held in place by a clip made a heart-stopping announcement: THE MACHINE IS OUT OF ORDER. This is the message from hell. There is no signature and, therefore, no avenue of appeal. How can the machine be out of order? What manner of trickery is this? Who is responsible? All are good questions, followed by the sound of crickets.
There is only one thing left to do before my carbon unit goes into shutdown mode.
A trip to the coffee store is now a matter of life and death. There can be no delay since neurons in my brain are beginning to misfire. One fist won’t open so it is clear before any more symptoms develop, survival demands a shutdown of the security system and quick exit.
The turret machine guns are set to stand by, the boiling oil cauldron tipping mechanism is turned off, and the automated arrow launching pods are unarmed. In addition, the Trebuchet, ballista, and falling rock device are switched to manual. The claymore mines are set to manual, the mote net rolled back, and the concertina wire retracted. The Iron gate is raised, and the bolts are thrown on the front door.
There is a guy standing on the porch with a large carryout container of Dunkin Donuts coffee. “Is that world-famous author J.W. Howell?”
“Uh, I’m J. W. Howell”
“Good. Here’s your coffee.”
I take it in my only functioning hand and thank the man. He nods and then leaves. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, a big sip of the magical liquid brings me back to life. Just as my memory returns, I feel the buzz of an incoming text. It is from Linda Hill and reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “clip.” Use it as a noun or a verb, use it any way you’d like. Have fun!
To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link: https://lindaghill.com/2024/10/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-12-2024/
Clip by John W. Howell © 2024
“Did you ever find out what was wrong with the machine?”
“No. I did a self-repair and was good as new by the afternoon.”
“Who put the clip with the note?”
“I have no idea.”
“Who called for the delivery?”
“I know this will sound strange, but I think the machine did.”
“Oh, come on. Machines can’t do that.”
“This one almost seems alive. I haven’t told anyone this, but I lock the kitchen door when I go to bed.”
“You’re kidding.”
“No. I know it sounds nuts, but that thing gives me the willies.”
“Why not get a different one?”
“Cause it makes the best coffee.”
“Yeah, that reminds me of the old joke about the five-dollar-a-day workhand.”
“Haven’t heard it.”
“This farmer has a five dollar-a-day work and who burned all his crops and set fire to the barn and house. When asked if he fired the guy, he said. ‘No.'”
“No? why not?”
“His answer was, ‘Where am I going to get a five-dollar-a-day workhand to replace him.'”
“Good one, Henny Youngman. Order an Uber.”
“Right over there. You have a choice today.”
Photo by Dan Antion
A new FJ40 Toyota Land Cruiser or..”
“Your old 1978 FJ40 Land Cruiser
“Wow, that is a tough choice. In fact, my old FJ brings a tear to the eye.”
“Don’t get carried away. Just choose.”
“I’m choosing the old one.”
“Good. Let’s go. Remember that the old one has a top-end clip of 60 miles an hour, so it will take a little time.”
“I’m ready.”
Fiction Favorites 
Famous author at Dunkin’ Donuts recognized. I love it John! Oh no, I need that magical fix it machine. Everything seems to be on the fritz right now. I’ll take the Toyota please. Our is leaking oil etc. maybe from the curb I hit 🤷♀️😝🩷
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A curb hit might do that. Get some cardboard in the meantime. 😁
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I think the next installment of Mission Impossible is going to be about how Ethan Hunt has to go through an entire day sans coffee. Scary . . . very, very scary.
As for the ride, go vintage.
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I loved that old beater. Sorry to see it go.
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Classic.
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Yup
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Maybe the coffee machine was taking a mental health day. Called in sick, but made sure you were covered. I wouldn’t try getting rid of it if I were you.
Your old FJ40 is a sweet ride.
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Yeah I loved that machine. Was sorry I couldn’t hang on to it.
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I know that feeling.
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😁
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Dear John
You are like Dina, without coffee, nothing feels right.
We love the old Toyota Land Cruiser (but we prefer our new Volvo).
We wish you a relaxing weekend
The Fab Four of Cley
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Thank you so much. Yes, without coffee things seem out of sorts. When I lived at the beach that Toyota was a miracle machine.😁
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Guess it does pay to leave the house some days.
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Only some days.
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An AI possessed coffee maker sounds like a great idea. My uncle had one of those old Land Cruisers. Seemed to last forever.
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Mine was 35 years old when I bought it. Great machine.
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Your home security system cracks me up every time. And of course, you lock the kitchen door. Any goon who makes it through security, you just know they are heading straight into the kitchen for that coffee machine. ☕ Can’t trust anyone nowadays…
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So true Lois. In fact, the reason for the security system is we don’t have a kitchen door. Just one big ole room so anyone could grab that machine.
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But the puma and panther roam free at night to attack any intruders who might even think about entering your abode, right?!
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Yes they do. Both are sound sleepers though. 😁
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you did it again !! Love the security shutdown. I laugh every time. Do you have a guy who does maintenance on all of it or do do it ?
What the heck is up with the coffee machine ? I’d set up some security cameras to see who messes with your prized machine.
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Good idea on the cameras, Tom. Yes, I have to maintain the system. I don’t trust the techs since one of them could mess it up good. Also not too many know how to keep oil at a steady boiling temperature. Thaks for the comment.
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Figuring out what had happened to the coffee machine will be nearly impossible. It’s great that you able to fix it.
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It fixed itself. Very spooky. Thanks Tim.
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That coffee sounds heavenly!
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It is so good, Kymber. 😊
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Ha! Loved the details of the home security system, John. Terrific response to the Clip prompt. Hugs.
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Thank you so much, Teagan. Hugs
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Thank goodness disaster was averted by a very timely coffee delivery!
I agree that machine is a scary one….. almost human! Thank goodness you got your drink in time.
then off for a Drink with your mate …. success 💜💜💜
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Total success. Thanks, Willow.
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I love a happy ending 💜🌞🌞
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Me too. 😊
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What a great lead in to a Halloween story, John! A coffee maker that is alive. 🙂 Great use of the prompt and I think I’d have chosen the FJ as well. Fun post!
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Sometimes I think it is alive. Thanks, Jan.
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I don’t want you to run out of coffee again.
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Thank you, GP. 😁
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Sometimes the Good Old Days are worth the wait.
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They are worth the wait.
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It’s been a while since I’ve seen Henny Youngman reference! Great job, John 🙂
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Same here!
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I like to throw him in now and then. “Now you take my wife….Please”
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If only I’d know that Dunkin’ delivers!!
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Ha ha ha. Gotta know the machine.
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Nice.
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LOL! Your Saturday morning Linda Hill challenge intros are the best! They seem to come to your brain at a fast clip too!
I was laughing out loud reading the list of security measures, and a long fun list of great measures they are! You have some of ACME’s finest there. 😊
That is kinda spooky about the coffee machine potentially ordering you a take out coffee! Well, it is the month of spooky things! 🎃👻
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Yes a little pre-Halloween story. BTW I never turn my back on the machine. Just sayin’.
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LOL! 😂
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🤣
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A classic ride is always better. Sorry about your magic bean machine…technology can be vexing about a lot of things, but delivering a good cuppa shouldn’t be included in that scenario.
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I give it plenty of space since it makes a great cup of coffee.
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Take my wife, PLEASE! (baboom)
What kind of a Clip Joint is your coffee machine running over there?
The least it could do is give you a free haircut! (baboom)
Can’t get a decent cuppa outta your coffee maker? It’s probably using has beens! (baboom)
🥁𝐗 😂𝐗
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All you need is a violin. (Baboom) 🤣X
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So, I’m Jack Benny, now! (Baboom) 🤣X
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Henny played the violin.
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Ahhh…
I didn’t know that! I did hear Jack Benny ….kinda play 😵💫🙄 the violin.
🏆 O🎻 🥇x 🥈x
(that means you win, and I still win second place!)
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We both win. 🏆X
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Where can I find this magical coffee machine! I want one! And definitely the classic Land Cruiser. I love it!
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The machine is partly in my fictional mind but there is a real beauty at Costco. It’s name is Jura.
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We’re okay with what we have! But it would be lovely to have coffee delivered.
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Yes it would.
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I’m glad you picked the old Uber. Dunkin is the best!! Sorry Starbucks, but it’s true.
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😁
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