I randomly opened Detour on the Eternal Road to page 175. With eyes closed, A finger pointed to the page, causing my finger to fall close to the word”cash.” That will be the prompt. As a reminder I will be offline March 12th through the 19th. Tempeste and Twiggy return on March 20.
Cash by John W. Howell © 2025
“Will that be cash or charge?”
“Um, what’s the final total?”
“One thousand two hundred ninety eight dollars and ninety eight cents.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m sorry. Did you not hear me?”
“No I heard you fine. I’m taken aback by the number.”
“Is this your first visit?”
“Why yes. Yes, it is.”
“No wonder. Many of our first-time clients aren’t aware of our billing procedures.”
“I guess I’m guilty then.”
“I see on the orders you came in for an annual check-up.”
“Well my dog is here for an annual check-up.”
“Yes sir. If we don’t find anything, those check-ups are priced at one hundred twenty-five.”
“So what did you find?”
“According to the notes, your dog, Bowzer. That’s his name right?”
“Yes, that’s Bowzer’s name.”
“Cute name. Where was I? Oh yes, according to the notes, Bowzer needed all his shots.”
“I thought he would.”
“That series was four hundred and twenty-five dollars.”
“What about the rest?”
“Claw trims fifty dollars.”
“Uh huh.”
“Shampoo and cut two hundred and fifty.”
“Is there more?”
“Yes.”
“Lab testing one hundred twenty five, flea treatment one hundred twenty five, consultant fee seventy three dollars.”
“For a total of what?”
“One thousand two hundred ninety eight dollars. That leaves ninety-eight cents.”
“What is that for?”
“Reading the bill. Again cash or charge?”
“I don’t have that kind of cash. I guess charge.”
“There is a four percent fee for charge.”
“Of course there is.”
Fiction Favorites 
Bowser has better healthcare than I do. He has a provider that reviews the charges and pays them all. Who’s a good dog?
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Ha ha ha. Thanks, Dan. I would put a smiley face here but my emojis quit working. (Go figure)
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😊
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They’re back 😀
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Those numbers sure sound familiar.
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Don’t they? Double the fun around here. Thanks, Liz.
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You’re welcome, John.
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😊
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Congratulation on your drift into true stories, John.
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I thought I should do a slice of life and forget the fantasy for a little bit. Ha ha ha
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haha, you sure can’t list this under Fiction – it looks like my electric bill!
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I think it looks like a lot of bills, GP. 😊
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This feels realistic.
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Close to the bone, I’m afraid. 😀
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Holy crap! Reading this gave me PTSD 😆 it shouldn’t be funny. How is it now they also have health insurance for pets (which probably doesn’t cover anything, just like human insurance!) ugh. Too. Freaking. Relatable. And sad too that it costs so much to take care of our furry friends 🙏
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Sorry for the trigger. Yeah, pet care does cost too much. We have been lucky with pet insurance, but you are right. It is usually a hassle. Thanks, Laura.
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Oh that’s good to know about the pet insurance 🙏
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Of course we have had two surgeries and I would say 80% of the costs were covered.
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I suppose Bowser is worth the $1298.98.
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I suppose. He does fetch the paper after all.
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Not too far from the truth!
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I know right? I was accused of straying from fiction with this piece.
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We had the same shock on our last vet visit. They know they have us, don’t they.
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They certainly do. The small vet no longer exists. Big corporations now own most.
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I think we all know this feeling!!
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Yes indeed. Thanks, Esther.
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Unfortunately that does sound like a vet visit now. Which reminds me it’s shot time…
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Uh oh. 😀
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It was a nice surprise when we moved to Spain and got a dog. The vet bills were a fraction of what we paid in Canada. So we got another one.
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Yes that would make sense. 😀
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The customer could’ve read the bill themselves and saved a whopping 98 cents 🙃
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Yes indeed. Ha ha ha
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Don’t get me started!~!! So true, John!!! 💓
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Yes it is. 😊 I’m afraid I got you started.
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The vet bills would pay our mortgage! Our cat had to have some dental work done – $700!
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In the late 90s we had a cat who got a luxating patella. $800 to fix.
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That’s an expensive vet bill, but they forgot to add the barking fee, the hold the dog fee, the water bowl fee, the service fee and fo fum fee.
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Love the fo fum fee. Thanks for the laughs, Thomas
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Next thing you know, they’re going to start adding a charge for customers who question the charges.
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Yeah. That’s another $1.95
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At least!
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😀
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Talk about a clip joint, John.
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Yup
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I love my dog and her vet is great, but I don’t think I’ve ever gotten out of there without her wanting to run some extra test that we didn’t come in for.
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It does happen.. Thanks Pete
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The devil is in the details! 🤑
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Oh my goodness, I remember those days. We don’t have a pup now, but we enjoy our neighbors’ loved ones. 😊
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Yes. In some ways you are lucky to enjoy a pup without the fuss.
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Yes, I don’t miss the bills or the mess, but I miss the regular cuddles. 😊
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Ouch! We’ve had bills like that with our cats, although most of the time it’s for a dental cleaning with a few teeth being extracted. Fortunately, Wendy and Raji have good teeth (for now)🙂
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Hi, John. Sorry to be so late. I hope your break is for happy things — or at least just for rest.
This is darned real. LOL. Laugh so you don’t cry? My brand of coffee went up more than 50% even before any tariff hit. Just somebody saying “price increase” makes everything blast off. I think they’re going to price coffee by the bean, and landscaping at $10 per weed. Brain surgeons will soon go to landscapers asking for loans.
Head scratches to Twiggy and Tempeste and hugs to you and the missus.
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Thank you, Teagan. The sad thing is that prices go up fast, but it takes forever to return to reality. I wonder what a one-bean cup of coffee would be like. Your comment reminds me of the joke where the plumber hands the homeowner a bill. The guy looks at it and says, “This comes to over $300 an hour. That’s more than my doctor makes.” The plumber responds, “I know. I used to be a doctor.” I am on a pleasure trip visiting an old pal who is also a longer-term pal. (don’t tell him I said old)
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LOL. “Long term” is a good phrase. I won’t breathe a word of it.
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😊
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And in the real world you have two dogs, which would mean over $2,000. 😀
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So true. 😳
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This post sums up modern life very nicely, John. I’ve missed your posts 😉
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Aw. Thank you, Robbie. I’ll be back tomorrow. 😊
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