The coffee machine sends me a good morning message on the touch pad. “Good Morning, Boss. There will be a slight delay with your morning cup today. It seems that someone forgot to fill the bean reservoir. Through Bluetooth, we contacted the freezer to have a fresh supply delivered. Unfortunately, frozen beans do not work well with our grinder friends, so there was little choice but to wait until the beans thaw. All this occurred two hours ago while you were still comfy in bed. It shouldn’t be too long of a wait since our sensors feel the beans are almost ready. In addition, we checked 1925 for today, and the news is very sparse. A reminder might be to have the bean reservoir filled after you finish the coffee in the morning. Oh, hold on. We have been informed that the beans are ready, so your cup will be delivered now.”
The familiar sound of the grinder sing causes my mouth to water and the pounding in my head to get softer. The cup is delivered, and after the first sip, it looks like my corpus will survive. The second sip brings the Westminster chime of the doorbell. Twiggy and Tempeste throw themselves against the door, and there is the sound of breaking glass in the kitchen. The resounding barks have indeed reduced the glassware to dust. A handful of treats tossed through the soundproof portal and a slam of the six-inch soundproof door cut the mayhem like a knife. My ears pound in the silence, but I must make the security system safe.
The security system must be deactivated before opening the front door and addressing the visitor. Before that, though, the SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The control panel makes the shutdown of the security system process simpler. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gattling guns disengaged, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, the IUDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The locks on the door are thrown.
Standing there is a pig dressed like a farmer holding a huge sunflower. He is also holding an envelope. “Y-you J-John H-Howell?” I give the pig a nod. “I-I have a m-message f-for y-you f-from L-Linda H-Hill.” “Great. Let me have it.” The sunflower showers me with water, and I can see the pig trying to stifle a laugh. Wiping my face. While holding out my hand. The pig gives me the envelope, turns, and runs down the drive. Opening the envelope, one can see that it is a message from Linda Hill. It reads” Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is ‘sing.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!
Visit Linda’s site to see what others have done with the prompt. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2025/05/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-3-2025/
Sing by John W Howell © 2025
“I’m surprised the AI in that machine didn’t sing the message.”
“I think that would have added insult to injury.”
“I suppose so, too. By the way, how does a freezer get the beans over to the coffee machine?”
“I have no idea and really don’t want to know. Those guys make me nervous.”
“You know what’s good for nerves.”
“Call Uber.”
“I did. He’s over there.”
Photo by Dan Antion
“Well…finally something we can be comfortable in.”
“Yeah, and we only have to make one stop.”
“One stop?”
“Yes. The driver says we have to drop the godfather off at the club.”
“The godfather? You kidding?”
“Never kid about the godfather.”
Fiction Favorites 
The entire security system might pale in comparison to making the godfather upset, John. Tread lightly.
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Great advice, GP. 😀
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Morning laughter. Love it! 🌞
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Glad you got a chuckle. Thanks, Gwen. I hope you have a peaceful weekend.
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The story also gave me a chuckle. Interestingly enough, it also sparked the thought “hmm, I wonder where I’m making my life more complicated than necessary.” Strange how that just popped in my head. 👀🤣
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A subtle subplot, I think. Also, it is a good question.
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It surely is. One I should probably entertain at regular intervals. Less stress sounds like a great thing.
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Less is more life wise.
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Freshly ground coffee sounds good. Riding in the Cadillac would be comfortable, but riding with the godfather would make me nervous.
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Yup. The godfather is not a great companion. Thanks, Tim.
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At least interview the guy. Might make for a good book character. Be careful to change the names.
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And don’t ask for any favors.
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Love the security schtick. Never get tired of the “complexity.”
Thanks for the entertainment.
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Thanks for the comment too. 😀
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I could just read about your security system every Saturday and be perfectly happy. Cracks me up every time.
No Marlon Brando imitations from the back seat…
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I worry that the security thing might get boring. Thanks for the input, Lois.
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John–it never gets old. I think it is hilarious.
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You are terrific, Lois.
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That coffee machine never has its act together on Saturdays. I can relate.
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It seems to want attention.
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Your beans must be caffeinated to combine Porky Pig and Dons Trump and/or Corleone in the same short story.
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Thank you, Pat. Caffeine plays a big role around here.
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☕☕☕
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☕️
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🙂 Always a twist! Love it, John!
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Thank you, Jan. 😀
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Now THAT’S an Uber, Don Corleone or no. He might be good to get acquainted with. And clearly Twiggy and Tempeste are your best line of defense!
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I think Don may be a nice guy if you don’t need a favor.
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You need to do him a favor first though!
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😀
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Now that would be a memorable Uber ride! Will blindfolds be required?
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No blindfolds, but you might get fitted for cement overshoes.
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😱 🐟🫧
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😀
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Love this, John. I think I’ll skip the uber this time. lol
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Skipping Uber might be a good idea.
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Very amusing!
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I’m glad you liked it, Dawn.
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Just make sure everyone who gets in that car gets out again. Either that, or don’t see nothing. Our coffee maker isn’t sophisticated, but we do sometimes for get to put water in. It’s on a timer and when that (we) fail, morning gets off to a slow start.
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Yeah, the old water forget.I have a system where I fill up the beans and water right before shutting it down.
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Yes, I worry that Bluetooth gets the beans from the freezer to the grinder.
Why is Bluetooth in your home? He’s nothing but a modern day pirate. As a descendent of Blackbeard, he’s gone overboard with dying that one remaining tooth blue. Punk!
Seems living on the edge is the theme today. Last time I saw that Uber, someone came flying out, and all I could hear was – Thhhhat’s all fffffffolks!
🔵X 🔵X 🔵X
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Ha ha ha. I like where my silliness takes yours. 🤪X
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It’s the pi-rate we use in our brains.
Pi being 3.14159265359…..
🥧X 🙃X
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🦜X
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I wondered where my parrot went?
It took off with my eye patch and the neighbours albatross.
Thanks! 🏆🏆
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We win.🏆🏆
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Hmmm, now I can’t recall the name of the pig 🐷. It’s going to bother me.
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Porky
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👍🏻
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😀
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After the first part I thought you would need an Uber to take you to Starbucks. Classy old Caddy!
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Good idea, Jo. Thanks. 😊
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Haha — nice ride, John. That’s a helluva security system. I want one just like it — except the allegators… Too much trouble to feed them, even though they’d eat about anything… Hugs.
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You just toss them a chicken or two.
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I totally love your security system. Well mostly because i don’t have to actually hear it. Security alarms delivered before the first cup…I think that’s a punishable offense but talk about entertaining. 🙂 Another great Saturday post, John.
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The only sound you hear from the security system is the chatter of the machine guns or mine explosions.
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I also want to have such a nice coffee machine. 🙂 Best wishes, John! Enjoy your Sunday! xx Michael
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Save your phennings.
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Just what I needed, Humour in bean bag bucket loads 🙂 .. Though I will be very mindful, if ever I rang your doorbell 🙂 😉 haha…
Wishing you a lovely Sunday John xx ❤
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Yes. If I could figure out how, the doorbell should be disconnected. The sign pretty much stops most. Thanks, Sue.
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🙂 I have a sign too on the door ” No cold callers”…. Someone actually read it the other day, as he walked down the drive with leaflets, to read the notice then walked away without ringing the bell or leaving a leaflet haha .. 🙂 haha….
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We have a no solicitation policy here. You have to post a sign and then if someone violates your wish. they are subject to arrest.
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I don’t think our law goes that far.. Unless you do a tweet someone doesn’t like.
Now they are arresting people for that over here and FB comments, people ARE serving jail time fie them.
While Robbers and thieves no longer get even arrested. They don’t think it worth the paper work.
That’s our sad reality in Eng. 😕
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Sounds pretty Draconian.
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Oh it is John .
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😬
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I’m trying the imagine your house with all the security measures in place. My mind is boggled.
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Think big trench, wire, spotlights, cameras, and neighbor complaints.
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Now, I can see the image, thanks!!
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Yes. The infrared security beams crisscrossing the yard bother some, too. Funny, they never come up to the door to complain, though.
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I’ll just bet they haven’t!
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😊
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Joey “Coffee Beans” Benedetti! That ride is Joe Pesci and Bobby DeNiro approved! Did you leave the gun and take the cannoli?
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Ha ha ha. Good one, Pilgrim.
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I would love to ring your doorbell and see the gazillion security measures in place. I bet Tiny would, well…you know.
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Tiny would just barge in.
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Haha!!
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Tiny would just barge in.
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