A review of the menu on the coffee machine does nothing to change my mind. It’s going to be a double coffee in a 10 0z mug. That would be 8oz of the stuff that stops the low-caffeine alarm horn, and about 2oz of half-and-half. The button is pushed, and the aroma fills the air. The cup is ready, and the first sip puts out the fire of addiction. The second sip raises the Westminster chimes and is accompanied by the ear-bleeding warnings blasted out by the hounds of Baskerville, known as Twiggy and Tempeste. A quick toss of a bacon-flavored Bene bone for each into the soundproof room, followed by a door slam, brings peace back to the valley.

A quick check of the monitor shows a character who looks very much like Elmer Fudd standing on the porch, holding a letter. After a back-and-forth conversation about leaving the letter, it is clear that the door has to be opened. With a sigh, the shutdown process is begun.

The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. The MH-60 Jayhawk Helicopter hovering over the house is diverted. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement. The Tasmanian Devil is directed to the food in his cage, and the door drops. The electronic jammer is kept active, given a situation with a robot not too long ago. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

The Elmer Fudd-looking guy hands me the envelope and the clipboard. When signed, I keep the letter and return the clipboard. The Elmer Fudd-looking guy has a shotgun and is casually pointing it at me. Reaching into my pocket and pulling out a five-dollar bill produces a smile on Fudd-like’s face. Rolling it up and stuffing it into one barrel of the shotgun causes Fudd-like to turn and walk away.

The envelope is from Linda Hill. There is a message inside which reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “review.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2026/03/13/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-14-2026/

Review by John W. Howell © 2026

“That was scary.”

“What?”

“To give you a small review, that guy  was pointing a shotgun at you.”

“I knew he wouldn’t use it.”

“How did you know that?”

“He was a cartoon character, and even if he did use it, it wouldn’t hurt.”

“You know, for some strange reason, that makes sense.”

“I gave him a tip cause he looked like he could use the money.”

“But again, he’s a cartoon character.”

“They have to live, too.”

“This conversation is giving me a headache.”

“I know the perfect cure. Did you call Uber?”

“Right over there.”

Photo by Dan Antion

“Wow, a ’49 Chevy Deluxe Coupe.”

“With a little customization on the wheels.”

“I can’t wait to ride in that one.”

“Let’s get going.”

“What? No side trips?”

“Nope, he’s going to take us right there.”

“That’s amazing.”

“I thought you needed a hassle-free trip to the pub.”

“I appreciate that.”

“We have to hitchhike home, though.”

“Why’s that?”

“The driver has a car show to enter.”

“Can’t we call another Uber  for home?”

“I wish I had thought of that.”

“Let’s go.”