Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “A Rainy Day.”

 

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

The day wakes like any other. Its dark curtain slowly rises to reveal hazy images of deer and trees. The cement driveway reflects the glow of the yard lamp. The effect is converting an ordinary grey slab to the appearance of polished granite. It is a rainy day.

Always welcome but at the same time disappointing the rain has come. The immaculate car of yesterday will become the spattered mess of tomorrow. The clear, undistorted windows will be rain marked, denigrating the views to impressions.

A sigh and a cup of coffee will perhaps change the attitude to a more positive view of a rainy day. As the brewer was working its magic, a sound not unlike a trumpet ran through the walls of the house. Not waiting for the coffee, I hurried to the front door. Checking my Ring image on my phone caused a lurch in surprise. A man on a horse was on the driveway looking very much like Teddy Roosevelt. The horse was snorting and seemed in a bit of a hurry. The man kept shouting for me to open the door.

Mrs. Howell didn’t raise an idiot, so I called out through the doorbell. I demanded to know the nature of the business of someone on a horse waving a bugle. He wasted no time explaining he had a dispatch from Linda Hill that was of the utmost urgency.

My response was to yell, “Leave it on the porch.” He clenched his jaw and showed a magnificent set of teeth while telling me a signature was required. I gave in and opened the door. The poor guy was wet to the skin. He handed me a clipboard and told me where to sign. He then gave me a leather pouch. The horse reared while looking at it, and when I looked up, they were both gone.

Inside the pouch were two things. The first was a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, and the second was a message from Linda.

The message read. Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “a rainy day.” Write about the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the phrase “a rainy day.” Enjoy!

If you would like to enjoy, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here’s the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2022/01/14/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2022-daily-prompt-jan-15th/

A Rainy Day by John W. Howell © 2022

“Now that was a waste of time.”

“How so?”

“What did a peanut butter cup have to do with anything?”

“I like them.”

“Yeah, I like ribs, but I don’t throw them into a story with no other rhyme or reason.”

“Well, it’s my post, and I can do that if I want.”

“What about reader consideration? Don’t you think they will be confused?”

“No more so than usual.”

“What does that mean?”

“Most know I have an unusual view of things.”

“I guess the Teddy Roosevelt thing demonstrates that. What was that all about?”

“Rain sometimes makes me think of Teddy for some reason.”

“Okay. No need to follow that up since I think it is a swamp of no return.”

“When I was a kid, I used to read on rainy days, and I loved to read about Teddy Roosevelt.”

“Cheeze, most kids would pick a baseball star.”

“Like I said, I have unusual views.”

“What about bar stuff?”

“Yeah, love me some VooDoo Ranger IPA.”

“Well, if we can forget Teddy for a while, I’m buying.”

“Who?”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF – Good News/ Fri-Yay

Video grab of the moment Lewiston Police Department officer Jonathan Smith jumped into a frozen lake to save a dog near Lewiston, New York, USA.

Here is a good news story from the Good News Network about a police officer saving a dog’s life without considering his own danger. The story is replicated in its entirety.

Officer Jonathan Smith, 30, was called to Bond Lake near Lewiston, New York, after receiving reports of a Labrador falling in about 50 yards from the shore.

In this heart-in-mouth footage captured by a fellow officer’s bodycam, the brave cop throws off some equipment before dashing out onto the ice without any caution for his own safety.

The owner walked the 10-month-old pup around the lake on January 5 when Kona spotted a distant flock of geese landing on the water and bolted towards them.

Horrified, Kona’s owner watched as the dog fell into the freezing water at the edge of the ice.

In an email to Lewiston Police Department, the owner wrote: “Although she is a strong swimmer, there was zero chance of her getting back out onto the ice, and she began to panic and tire quickly.”

Frantically they called 911, and 15 minutes later, Officer Smith and two other officers from the Police Department arrived.

Without hesitation or rescue equipment, the officer removed his vest and gun belt and hustled over the ice towards an exhausted Kona.

When he got close enough to her, Officer Smith grabbed the 75-lb. pooch and pulled her from the water, so she was able to run back over the ice to her owner.

“Kona and I and everybody that loves her are extremely grateful for his selflessness and courage,” the owner wrote. “His professionalism and bravery should be applauded.”

“I have witnessed countless acts of selfless heroism. Officer Jon Smith’s actions rank high in my book.”

Officer Smith was also honored recently for pulling a woman from a burning building in November and has been working at Lewiston Police Department since July 2020.

WATCH the outstanding rescue below…

The good news here is officer Smith knows what ‘To Protect and Serve’ means. Today’s John Ku talks about good people. I hope you enjoy the weekend.
Goodness by John W. Howell © 2022
They come in all sizes,
colors, and social standings . . .
Good folks everywhere.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy Do Dishes

“So Twiggy. We have a golden opportunity right here.”

“What do you mean?

The dishwasher is unattended. Check it out. I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Okay, but what do I do when I get there?”

“Goodness. Don’t tell me you’ve never done the dishes?”

“Isn’t that what a dishwasher does?”

“No, yes. I mean, look at those babies sitting there covered with food.”

“I see them. What do we do?”

“We engage our tongues and sweep all that food into our mouths.”

“Like this?”

“Not the rack. Stand aside, Little One. I mean, you get your mug right in the middle and start licking.”

“You sure that’s sanitary?”

Who cares. It beats finding something on the road.”

“Now, that is something I would never eat.”

“Well, that was an example. I wouldn’t expect you to know about living on the streets.”

“I only know about living with Mom and dad.”

Hey, you two. You’re not licking those dishes, are you?”

“Why would we do that when we have all that wonderful food from you and dad?”

“Good answer, Little one. Now excuse me. I think there is a little bit of peanut butter left.”

“I was only speaking for myself.”

“I know, and let’s hope you always stay as pure as you are now.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 342 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.combefore 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

The photo.

Now What? By John W. Howell

 

“Looks like he’s out.”

“Amazing. We were just talking about him and out he went.”

“You have to understand. He is a highly-strung dog and sometimes he just needs his rest.”

“Well, what about you? Maybe we can continue the interview while he naps.”

“Up to you.”

“You could give us some background on his life.”

“Like what?”

“Where was he born and the like.”

“That I don’t know. We found him at the side of the road.”

“Ah. A rescue.”

“Not exactly.”

“What then?”

“He was hitchhiking. We stopped and asked him if he needed a ride. He jumped in the car and that was it.”

“Extraordinary story. So he’s been with you ever since.”

“Yes. We got a call from his previous owner who wanted to visit him.”

“Really. That’s odd.”

“I’m not surprised that his previous owner wanted to contact him.”

“He’s that good?”

“I’m not sure that’s it.”

“What is it then?”

“Once he takes up residence, good things happen.”

“Like what?”

“Like that Lotto win, you are here to talk about.”

“That was some win. Where did you get the ticket?”

“I really have no idea.”

“You having memory problems.”

“No. The dog bought the ticket.”

“W-what? “Is the legal?”

“Don’t see why not. He’s over twenty-one in dog years and as far as I know, the Lotto rules don’t forbid ticket sales to dogs. When he wakes I’ll let him tell you the particulars.”

“You are saying he can talk?”

“Seven languages.”

“Anything else?”

“He’s a licensed financial advisor. I’m going to need his help.”

 

 

 

Top Ten Things Not to do When Writing an Amazon Review

Pixabay photo

This post was published on January 12, 2015. I think it still has merit. A little warning. If you plan to reblog this without reading it, be careful. This is a humorous look at Amazon reviews and not intended as an instructional piece. (Whew, glad I got that off my chest.) I hope you enjoy this one.

* * *

This week’s list was inspired by reading some Amazon reviews recently. As writers, we always think of Amazon reviews in terms of books. There is a whole other world out there, so this includes different categories as well as books. I hope you enjoy it.

Top Ten Things Not to do When Writing an Amazon Review

10 When writing an Amazon review, do not think you need to use words no one understands. If you do, at best, your review will remain unread and a waste of your time. At worst, you will garner several WTF comments and will be notorious for your high-handed and unnecessary use of the language. ( You, sir, are no William F. Buckley)

9 When writing an Amazon review, do not review a product or book you haven’t tried or read. If you do, at best, your review will look like the others you copied and will be ignored. At worse, you might be forced to analyze what it is inside of you that compels you to seek to be noticed through such a platform as Amazon reviews. (Why not start a blog?)

8 When writing an Amazon review, do not think you need to win the word count championship for your review. If you do, at best, the length will cause readers to fall asleep. At worst, you will become ‘that reviewer’ who everyone scrolls through and will be so noted in the comments section (Does the term ‘Windy’ mean anything to you.)

7 When writing an Amazon review, do not think you can attack the quality of the product without cause. If you do, at best, those who disagree will make their thoughts known, and those thoughts will follow you everywhere. At worst, you may touch a nerve of a very dedicated fan base who will be committed to eliminating your ability to post other egregious reviews through official and unofficial means. ( you do not want to know the unofficial)

6 When writing an Amazon review, do not think you have to describe every detail of the technical function of the product. If you do, at best, you will convince everyone they do not have the skill to operate the product. At worst, you will label yourself as a technical geek who should only be listened to when it comes time to buy a rocket to Mars. ( Your fellow geeks will love you, though)

5 When writing an Amazon review, do not include instructions on remedying a problem with the product. If you do, at best, the reader will avoid the product like the plague. At worst, you will have other purchasers begging you to help them with their problems and will assume you are part of the company’s customer service department. (Things will get ugly fast if you don’t support them)

4 When writing an Amazon review, do not use the words or expressions: #BOOM, hubris, über, fantastic, amazing, surreal, surprising, or the like. If you do, at best, you will join the rest of the world in the lack of originality. At worst, you will be using words that do not describe anything and will lose all credibility as someone who should be taken as a serious opinion leader. (Does Hashtag loser ring a bell?)

3 When writing an Amazon review, do not pick any sex toys as the target of your insights. If you do, at best, there is no way to write a review that will mean the same to another user. At worst, you might find yourself in an area where you will have to expose all your weirdness to the buying public. (You might be surprised when a copy of your review is sitting on the counter in the break room)

2 When writing an Amazon review, do not think you must save the world from having a bad experience. If you do, at best, your negative review will be the exception, and your review credibility will be gone. At worst, you will demonstrate a vindictive personality which will be used as a benchmark on how effective readers believe your reviews are in the future. (Your lousy experience might be a singular event which will be evident when the judge finds for the plaintiff in your lawsuit)

1 When writing an Amazon review, do not think your review will not be read by anyone, so you need not take care of its construction. If you do, at best, all the typos and inaccurate statements will make you appear the fool. At worst, this review may show up in social media as one that, by its very sloppiness, needs to be mocked to the fullest. (Thinking you are anonymous won’t help when a copy of the review is circulated in the company e-mail with the headline, “Look What our Crack PR Department Does in its Spare Time.”)

Views of the Neighborhood – Time Scavenger Hunt – Part Two

Welcome to part two of the Time scavenger hunt. It is only fitting in the new year that we give time it’s due. So we will be looking for clocks number six through ten. If you missed one through five last week, go HERE. Today we are catered by Bangers Smokehouse of Austin. Our entertainment is Pink singing Time After Time.

Menu

Texas Peach Cinnamon Bun –

Layered with w/butter, cinnamon, brown sugar & house-made peach preserves. Served hot & topped w/ a cream cheese frosting.

Avocado Toast –

Grilled peasant bread topped w/ fresh avocado, roasted tomatoes, sunflower sprouts & a hard-boiled egg

Pastrami Cured Salmon Bagel –

House-cured salmon served w/ a house-made everything bagel, hard-boiled egg, cream cheese, capers, red onions, tomatoes, black pepper & sea salt.

The Corned Beef Hash Sausage Sandwich –

House-cured 6 day corned beef ground w/ potatoes. Stuffed it into a beef middle & smoked for 8 hours. Sliced, seared & put on a Martin’s potato roll. Topped w/ an egg, American cheese, sauerkraut & Russian dressing. Served w/ a side of spicy shoestring potatoes. 

Sweet Potato Happy Hash –

Sweet potatoes, onions, hatch chilies & chorizo. Served w/ farm two eggs & a bacon smile.

Banger’s Bennie –

English muffin topped w/ braised pork belly, poached eggs, hollandaise sauce & spicy shoestring potatoes. Vegetarian upon request.

Super Deluxe Breakfast –

Two over-easy eggs, house-cured bacon, sweet potato hash, toast & seasonal house-made jam.

Pancake Platter –

A proper Texas-sized breakfast! Four pancakes, two seasonal breakfast sausage links, two eggs, shoestring potatoes & a side of real maple syrup.

Smokehouse Fries w/ An Egg –

Salt & Pepper fries, smothered in cheddar, hand-pulled cheese curds & topped w/ a rotating cast of our smokehouse meats. Served w/ ranch & house barbecue sauce. And since it’s Sunday, and since we like the cut of your jib, we’ll throw a farm-raised free-range duck egg on top for you. How’s that sound?

And as always, anything on the planet that you want to drink.

Picture of an old time school bus

There’s the bus. Let’s go.

Our first stop is a path next to the lake. I see a green trash bin up ahead.

I knew it. Clock number six.

Still, on the path by the lake, I spy a grove of trees. That is always a good place to hide something.

Sure enough. Number seven.

See that picnic bench a ways off? I’ll bet there’s one located there.

I must be clairvoyant. Number eight.

A playground is a good location.

Yup. it paid off.

There is a parking lot up ahead.

The location for this poor thing.

I hope you enjoyed the hunt and now here is Pink. Enjoy the song and the food. I hope you have a great week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “In the”

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

In the month of December there were holidays on Saturday. Now that the holidays are about over, it is time to pay attention to the Stream of Consciousness prompt hosted by Linda Hill. In fact, I was sitting on the back porch drinking coffee when it occurred to me that I had not seen any envelopes or boxes either from the sky or on land. The hole in the backyard from the embedded chest is finally fixed, so anything falling would not be appreciated.

Thinking no deliveries a bit odd for a Saturday, I decided to go to the front of the house in the chance something had been dropped off. It’s doubtful that it would happen without Twiggy’s alarm being tripped, but it never hurts to check. Walking out the front door a large van was blocking the driveway. Walking up to it there was a small logo just below the cab window. It took a minute but getting closer it turned out to be this.

Going around to the driver’s side I knocked on the window. There was a bit of commotion inside the van but eventually the window slowly sunk into the door. A boxing glove on the end of what looked like one of those things old folk use to pick up stuff came out at great speed.  Ducking away from the blow I was able to grab the note stuck to the glove. Here is what it said.

Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “In the.” Start your post with the words “In the” – that’s the prompt! Enjoy!

As I finished reading the note a huge anvil from above buried itself in the street right behind me.

If you would like to join this fun visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/01/07/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2022-daily-prompt-jan-8th/

In The by John W. Howell © 2022

“In the slim chance I missed something , what was that verbiage all about?”

“An intro to the prompt.”

“I noticed you started with “in the.”

“Well yeah that was the instruction.”

“How did you know that?”

“I read it in the note.”

“But the note didn’t get their until that stupid cartoon boxing glove came out of the van.”

“Yeah so?”

“So how did you know?”

“I cheated.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I read Linda’s email and knew the post had to start with “in the.”

“My goodness. This is the first time in the near past that I can remember you admitting you cheated.”

“Well, come on. The risk is pretty low. What’s Linda going to do? Sue me?”

“No but in the chance you would go unpunished, I may deny you a nice barley pop.”

“Now that would be cruel and unusual punishment.”

“I guess you are right.”

“Really?”

“Besides it’s your turn to buy.”

“Of course, it is.”

 

 

 

Friday JohnKu – AKA – Fri-Yay/Good News

Today’s good news is about an endangered species in Scotland.

This story appeared on the Good News Network and is duplicated here in its entirety.

A man who found a tiny kitten buried in snow thought it was a lost cat—only to find it was one of the most endangered mammals in Europe.

SWNS

32-year-old chef Pete MacNab was out for a walk in Scotland’s Cairngorms National Park with his baby son and a friend.

They spotted a group of sheep circling something. As they drew closer, the animals scattered, revealing a tiny tabby kitten lying in the snow in rural Dava Way.

SWNS

The feline was unable to get on its feet. It looked freezing and its coat was all matted with snow. Not wanting to leave the creature in difficulty, Pete’s friend, Piotr, carried it the three miles back to town. He noted its claws were like “miniature razors,” and the pair joked that the little creature must be a Scottish wildcat: a rare species known to live in the Highlands.

After it was left at the vets on Wednesday, Pete began posting on local Facebook groups but no owner came forward.

Piotr and his partner began planning to get a cat bed and re-home the kitten—which they’d named Huntleigh.

But, the following day, the vet confirmed a specialist had in fact identified the wee tabby as a Scottish wildcat.

There are only around 100 to 300 of the species left. The only wild member of the cat family in the UK, it’s also one of the most endangered mammals in Europe.

Because of their bond with the kitty, Peter and Piotr have since begun a fundraiser to raise money for a charity helping other wildcats—which has raised more than £5,000 ($6,800) so far.

SWNS

Peter’s now been contacted by the Royal Zoological Society, which is part of the breeding program, to say the campaign has happily boosted their fundraising, too.

If you’d like to donate to the GoFundMe these friends have started on behalf of Huntleigh, just head to this link.

The Good News here is money is being raised as a result of finding and rescuing one little kitten that will go to help restore the endangered species.

Today’s JohnKu talks about accidental discovery that leads to great things. I hope you have a great weekend.

Chance by John W. Howell © 2022

A small kitten found,

Unravels a mystery. . .

That saves a species.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy After the Frost

“Well, Little One, it sure is a lot warmer this morning.”

“You can say that again. I hate those cold temperatures.”

“Yeah, I do too. I wonder if any plants were hurt with the freeze.”

“Freeze? What do you mean?”

“When the temperature goes below 32 degrees Fahrenheit or zero Celsius, it is called a freeze since that is the temperature that water goes from liquid to solid.”

“Oh, like Frozen the movie. Why are these plants on the porch?”

“Mom pulls them up and covers them. They don’t do well in a freeze.”

“What happens to them?”

“Too cold, and they die. Where you going?”

“I think I left my green stick out here. I hope it didn’t get frozen.”

“Don’t worry about your green stick. It doesn’t get hurt by the freeze.”

“No, wait. I think I left it inside.”

“Well, if you did, then it is safe.”

“I better check and make sure.”

“For heaven’s sake, Twiggy. It’s fine.”

“Where are you going?”

“To check the patio plants.”

‘I want to see them too.”

“What a surprise.”

“Uh oh. Looks like the potato vines took a hit.”

“Lemme ask Dad. Hey Dad, will they come back?”

“Sadly no, Twiggy. But they only live in the summer. So it was time for them to say goodbye.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Well. Let’s see if this will help. All living things have a certain amount of time allocated to them. When that time is finished, they have to move on.”

“What about green stick? How much time do I have with green stick?”

“Almost forever, Little One.”

“I like that.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 341 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo ( below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.combefore 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

The photo.

This Train by John W. Howell © 2022

“Wouldja look at that.”

“What?”

“That video. Almost looks real.”

“That’s cause it is.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re looking out a window. Everything beyond the window is part of the world.”

“That might be true, but it doesn’t mean it’s real.”

“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me we are going to get caught in a semantics loop?”

“I don’t even know what that is. All I’m saying is just because there is stuff beyond the window doesn’t mean that stuff is real. Look now. It all changed.”

“That’s because we are moving.”

“Moving? What kind of insanity is that?”

“I don’t want to break this to you too hard, but we are on a train.”

“Since when?”

“Last night, we boarded a train.”

“Where was I?”

“Oh my gosh. You were on the end of your leash. You got on the train. We all went to sleep, and here we are.”

“Look at that. It looks like a big city.”

“Yes, it is. We need to go through the city to get to the seashore.”

“Seashore? We going to the seashore?”

“We sure are.”

“Oh boy. I love the seashore.”

“I know you do. That’s why we are going.”

“Where?”

“To the sea— Hold on. Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m just messing with you. I can’t wait until we get there.”

“We should be there tonight.”

“All those smells. The crabs and birds. The sand and sun.”

“You believe it is real then?”

“The seashore?”

“Yes.”

“Of course. It’s just looking out this window that doesn’t look real.”

“Maybe you should take a nap then.”

“And miss something.”

“Something that may not be real.”

“Good point. A nap it is.”

“Good dog.”

“Arf.”