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Ten Questions Not to Ask an Author

~ John W. Howell ~ 117 Comments

 

Top Ten Things not to do

 

The inspiration for this list was preparing myself to attend four book festivals this year. I was making a list of items that I needed, and it occurred to me that I should prepare some answers to obvious questions. One thing leads to another, and the list is born.

10 If you meet an author, do not ask the question, “Do you make a lot of money writing?” If you do, at best you might get a chuckle in reply. At worst, you might have to listen to a long diatribe about the meaning of art as opposed to monetary considerations. (Wow. You didn’t realize just how little the author made from his books did you, Dylan?)

9 If you meet an author, do not ask the question, “How does your spouse feel about your writing? If you do, at best you’ll get a two-word answer, “They’re Fine.” At worst, you may have to support a sobbing author on your shoulder. (Hopefully, the author is not getting your shirt wet. Right, Diego? Bu the way, you make a lovely pair.)

8 If you meet an author, do not ask the question, “So what is the difference between traditionally published and an indie?” If you do, at best you’ll get a solid objective answer. At worst, you will ask Tiny, the WWF champ, who has just received his 100th rejection letter from a traditional publisher. I imagine you hit a sore spot with Tiny, Drake. I think it is time to test those new running shoes. Yes, right now.)

7 If you meet an author, do not ask the question, “Is your book well written?” If you do, at best you will get a confused look. At worst, you may get a question in return to the effect of wondering if you have just arrived on the planet Earth. (Man, these authors are sensitive aren’t they, Douglass?)

6 If you meet an author, do not ask the question, “What do you do all day?” If you do, at best you’ll get a smart reply like, “Drink bourbon.” At worst, you have to listen to a detailed reiteration by the fifteen-minute segment on the entire twenty-four hour day. (The bodily function and romance parts you could have done without hey, Dean?)

5 If you meet an author, do not ask the question, “Have you written anything that I might have read.?” If you do, at best the author will ask you what you have read. At worst, you will be left standing in the middle of the room with a “Kick Me Hard,” sign on your back. (So you thought you were engaging huh, Dennis?)

4 If you meet an author, do not ask the question, “Do you really like to write?” If you do, at best the author will offer you a cookie. At worst, the sound of crickets will lead you to quickly determine the crashing stupidity of your question. (I guess if authors didn’t like to write they might do something else. Don’t you agree, Dexter?”

3 If you meet an author, do not ask the question, “Do you have any bestsellers? If you do, at best the author does. At worst, you will have probably opened a wound that the author has been trying to work around. (Seems strange to witness a complete meltdown doesn’t it, Drew?)

2 If you meet an author, do not ask the question, “What do you really do?” If you do, at best the author is a trust fund baby. At worst, the author’s response will be delivered at a decibel level designed to shatter glass. (Don’t just cover your ears, Duke. I would make plans to leave soon.)

1 If you meet an author, do not ask the question, “What makes you write?” If you do, at best you’ll get a “little voices in my head,” answer. At worst, you’ll be pressed to explain what makes you breathe, eat, and sleep. (You gotta wonder if that author had been drinking don’t you, Desmond? He sure was spirited.)

Finally, A New Book From Don Massenzio

~ John W. Howell ~ 24 Comments

Don Massenzio has put up his new book on preorder. Check out his trailer and blurb. It looks like a winner.

Unknown's avatarDon Massenzio

blood match front cover2017 was a tough year. My blog grew by leaps and bounds and I finished two books, but didn’t get either one edited or published. Most years I’ve published 2-3 books, but in 2017, I published none.

But, enough of that doom and gloom. My latest book, Blood Match, is now available for pre-order on Amazon. It will be formally published on February 2nd.

You might remember that this book was a Kindle Scout candidate and it performed well lasting on the Hot List for 209 of 720 hours or some part of 11 out of 30 days with over 4,000 views.

Here is a blurb about the book:

Intelligence analyst Jake Balrich boards his Monday morning flight, as he has so many times, for routine field work. When the plane lands, a passenger fails to wake up. Jake soon realizes that the death was not accidental and is…

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Review – John Howell’s Circumstances of Childhood

~ John W. Howell ~ 25 Comments

Don Massengo has given a very thoughtful review of Circumstances of Childhood. As most of you know, Don promotes authors as well as writing compelling novels. A visit to his site will give you an idea of his books as well as the opportunity to participate in his author interview program. My thanks to Don for taking the time to not only read Circumstances of Childhood but to also post this excellent review.

Unknown's avatarDon Massenzio

Circumstances of Childhood final frontGoodreads Blurb:

When a former pro football star and broadcaster, now a Wall Street maven is accused of insider trading, will he be able to prove his innocence and expose those who are guilty?

Greg and his boyhood pal dreamed of big success in professional football and then later in business. Greg was the only one to live the dream. Now the founder of an investment fund Greg is faced with a routine audit finding by the SEC. The audit points to irregularities and all the tracks lead to Greg. The justice department hits him with an indictment of 23 counts of fraud, money laundering, and insider trading. His firm goes bust, and Greg is on his own.

His best friend knows he is innocent but has been ordered under penalty of eternal damnation not to help.

If you enjoy stories of riches to rags, redemption, brotherly love, and a…

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The 2018 Author Interview Series Featuring John Howell

~ John W. Howell ~ 16 Comments

I have the pleasure of being the kick-off author interviewed by Don Massenzio for his new series of Author Interviews, He plans to do one a week so if you would like to participate, visit his blog. Even if you don’t want to participate a visit to Don’s blog is always a treat. I have finished reading the first book in his Frank Rozzani detective series, Frankly Speaking, and am well into the second, Let Me Be Frank. These are great reads and you should check them out.

Unknown's avatarDon Massenzio

Welcome to 2018 and my new author interview series. Author interviews will be posted every Friday throughout the year.

I am honored to kick off this series with John Howell. I have read all of John’s books, except for his latest, and have enjoyed them all thoroughly. His latest book, Circumstances of Childhood,  has been getting rave reviews and I can’t wait to read it.

For those of you that have read my interviews in the past, you’ll find a new set of questions in this series. You can catch up with all of my past author interviews (nearly 200) on my Author Directory page.

Now, please enjoy this conversation with author John Howell.

John Howell - Interview HeaderDo you try more to be original or to deliver to readers what they want?

I’m in the camp of trying to write a good story above all else. If it becomes so original that no…

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Jan’s TOP TEN Books 2017

~ John W. Howell ~ 4 Comments

Jan Sikes has named Circumstances of Childhood in her Top Ten list for 2017. Jan is a talented writer and musician and is currently featuring Stories from the Road written by her late husband Rick. Visit her blog and you will find a host of excellent books she has written. Thank you, Jan. A wonderful New Year present.

Smorgasbord – Sally’s Book Reviews – Circumstances of Childhood by John W. Howell.

~ John W. Howell ~ 17 Comments

Sally G. Cronin’s review of Circumstances of Childhood is one that makes me glad I’m a writer. This book was a little different from my usual thriller work and I was pleased Sally recommends it. Sally is a very talented author and works hard all year promoting other authors. A visit to her blog will open up hundreds of possibilities to every author. I am humbled and grateful for your review, Sally. Thank you and Happy New Year. Hugs.

My TOP 5 Fiction Reads of 2017. #RRBC #AuthorShout #IARTG #IndBk

~ John W. Howell ~ 12 Comments

I am very pleased that Our Justice is one of the Top Five books read this year by Suzanna Burke. Suzanna is a very talented writer and to be included on her list with Ron Yates, Beem Weeks, Harmony Kent, and Rhani D’Chae is an honor unto itself.

Soooz's avatarWelcome to the World of Suzanne Burke.

Hello and welcome to My TOP 5 Fiction Reads of 2017.

TRUMPET FOR BEST READS LOUIS ARMSTRONG When Only The BEST will do.

It was a difficult task selecting My Favorite Reads of 2017. I have read and reviewed many books in this rapidly disappearing year. I select my reads from diverse places. Yet it doesn’t surprise me at all that those I rank in my top ten Indie-books of the year are all to be found at Rave Reviews Book Club. Why? Because the standard of excellence of each book is outstanding.  That is what I’ve come to expect with each book I purchase. The reviews are always honest and constructive.

What is the X Factor for me? Ah! For me it’s that shining place outside of myself, a wonderous reality that some authors take you to as willing captives. A place where the story has me so utterly committed to it that putting it…

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Views of the Neighborhood – Snow

~ John W. Howell ~ 81 Comments

We had an unusual occurrence Friday. We got about an inch of snow and it was the first time since 2004.

We woke up to snow. Here is a shot of the backyard.

A corner with the giant Birds of Paradise.

A third view of the backyard. This photo looks blurry in the distance but that is snowfall.

Lucy makes some tentative steps. She has not seen snow before.

Lucy tries the “Let me go back,” maneuver.

Baily is an old veteran of snow since she went to college in Waco where it snows more. The dogs are blurry because they are running around a full speed.

A shot of the upper palm tree leaves covered with snow.

The palm trees by the hurricane-damaged pool. This is facing East so you can see the snow coming from the North and piling up on the tree trunks.

The cart over to the beach.

A shot from the top of the cart over. The Gulf is to the left.

A photo on the beach. The snow falling makes the horizon look foggy.

One more shot of the beach and Gulf. You can see large snowflakes falling.

I met Tiny on the cart over and he had lost his head over the snow. The cap shows how fast the snow is falling

These are my footprints after about five minutes. You can see the falling snow is filling them in.

Our Hibiscus decided to close up and wait for better weather. I hope you enjoyed the snow. It may be another ten years before we see it again.

 

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do on Thanksgiving

~ John W. Howell ~ 88 Comments

Thanksgiving

The inspiration for this list is the fact that this week is Thanksgiving here in the US. There have been a number of Thanksgiving situations which I personally witnessed, and I thought it would be fun to capture them and provide ample warning for your occasion this year. If you have ever done any of these things, it might be a nice change to sit back and let others have center stage this year.

10 On Thanksgiving, do not try to prepare the perfect Turkey. If you do, at best you’ll have reason to dry. At worst, not only is this year’s turkey not perfect, it is the worst one ever. (Nothing like eating what resembles dry balsa wood huh, Chandler?)

9 On Thanksgiving, do not invite your cousin Tiny the WWF wrestling champ to your house for dinner. If you do, at best you’ll possibly get by with only a broken dining room chair. At worst, Tiny and your uncle Jim will continue the feud begun last year’s Thanksgiving dinner. (Who is going to clean up what looks like a movie bar fight scene in your living room, Cohen? Not to mention reviving Aunt Helen.)

8 On Thanksgiving, do not try out that experimental stuffing recipe on the family. If you do, at best you’ll have plenty left over. At worst, the family will feel cheated out of a traditional dinner. (Who started the food fight is not a question that needs an answer right now, Canyon. It is probably more important to get that stuff off the walls before it hardens.)

7 On Thanksgiving, do not think you can deep-fry your Turkey in the kitchen. If you do, at best your place will smell like an oil derrick for a month. At worst, the fire department will declare what’s left of your house and lot a hazardous waste site.(Who is going to cover the EPA bill for clean-up, Channing?)

6 On Thanksgiving, do not think it is a good idea to start serving mimosas at eleven o’clock. If you do, at best you’ll run out of Champaign before everyone is blitzed. At worse all your guests have lost interest in the dinner and are out in the yard trying to work off the Champaign with touch football. (Don’t worry, Cortez. Sooner or later they will be back for the leftovers.)

5 On Thanksgiving, do not try some unnatural seating configuration thinking it will liven the conversation. If you do, at best you won’t seat sworn enemies next to each other. At worst, since you now have strangers all having to talk to strangers the sound of crickets is deafening.(That magazine suggestion doesn’t seem all that good right now does it, Cord?)

4 On Thanksgiving, do not think everyone in the world would enjoy a tofu turkey. If you do, at best the polite ones will give it a try. At worst, you will wonder why all your guests are on the phone ordering Dominoes delivery. (The fact that you were looking out for everyone’s health doesn’t seem worthwhile now, Cable.)

3 On Thanksgiving, do not think because you hate pumpkin pie, everyone else does as well. If you do, at best your banana creme will be well received. At worst, the traditionalists will find an excuse to leave early so they can pick up a frozen Mrs. Smith’s pumpkin pie. (Hare to believe you only have one guest remaining isn’t it, Cacey?)

2 On Thanksgiving, do not think sharing leftovers is not expected. If you do, at best you’ll get some strange looks as people leave. At worst, your loudest relative will ask out loud, What? No leftovers to take home? (Maybe you should have put together some to go containers, Cadell. Well there is always next year if any return.)

1 On Thanksgiving, do not think you can turn off the football game. If you do, at best you’ll have some complaints. At worst, you will discover most of the guests in your bedroom watching the game anyway. (It is shocking that people want to watch a game even if it is the two worst teams playing. Right, Cadell?)