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Top Ten Things Not to Do While Photographing Doors

~ John W. Howell ~ 60 Comments

 

Thursday Doors

 

The inspiration for this list is the Thursday Door prompt as interpreted by Dan Antion. I have often thought when looking at his photos what would happen if certain things went wrong. So here they are, and I’m glad to report Dan has done none of these things.

10 If you are taking door photos, do not ignore that no trespassing sign. If you do, at best you’ll get a warning shot. At worst, the owner will have a pack of wild dogs trained to discourage trespassing. (You finally found out how quickly you can run, Donahue. Too bad those dogs are faster.)

9 If you are taking door photos, do not keep shooting pictures while Tiny, the WWF Champ is waving at you. If you do, at best, he is friendly. At worst, he just entered the witness protection program and thinks you are on the opposite team. (This would be a good time to try out those new Nike running shoes, Donato. Oh dear, you forgot to wear them? Try not to scream then.)

8 If you are taking door photos, do not try to shoot and drive. If you do, at best, you’ll get many photos of your reflection. At worst, you are so occupied you miss that curve. (Looks like you are in someone’s bedroom, Donny. I think I would make up a story and fast.)

7 If you are taking door photos, do not continue to back up without looking behind you. If you do, at best you’ll fall into a flower bed. At worst, you now know the meaning of free fall, Dontell. I don’t think flapping your arms is going to help. You can try it though.)

6 If you are taking door photos, do not forget to keep your thumb out of the field of vision. If you do, at best one or two will turn out. At worse, your door photos all have a significant close up of your thumb. (No matter how you try to sell the shot as artistic, Duante, everyone knows what really happened.)

5 If you are taking door photos, do not become distracted by the obscure. If you do, at best some of your fans might enjoy the “door to the alley” shot. At worst, that close up of a ham sandwich looks to be anything but a ham sandwich. (Looks like those comments are not going in your favor, huh Dorion?)

4 If you are taking door photos, do not focus on only those door you like. If you do, at best your audience will fade. At worst, after the one-hundredth shot of the Burger King entrance, someone will mercifully take your camera away from you. (You’ll be able to get it back, Doughall after a hundred hours of community service.)

3 If you are taking door photos, do not try to include exciting people. If you do, at best they’ll only cover up the door. At worst, you’ll have someone in your shot who has a thing about obscene gestures. (Okay I would take that one over, Draven. This is a family post after all.)

2 If you are taking door photos, do not think the weather will co-operate. If you do, at best some will think that door photo with snowflakes is artistic. At worst, your light setting will be thrown off by the repeated lightning strikes. (You need to find cover, Driscol. You also need to get some rubber shoes for grounding. My goodness the last bolt did some funny things to your hair.)

1 If you are taking door photos, do not think you need to have each one be perfect. If you do, at best you will shoot so many that you run out of memory. At worst, you will photo shop the photo until it no longer looks like the door you shot. (What makes you think folks want to see a business building door look like the entrance to the Vatican, Duff?)

Spontaneous Cover Reveal! War of Nytefall: Loyalty!

~ John W. Howell ~ 2 Comments

Charles Yallowitz’s latest cover. Looks terrific

Charles Yallowitz's avatarLegends of Windemere

I was going to wait until Sunday until a few things came to mind:

  1. This cover looks too awesome to not show right away.
  2. A cover reveal on Easter and Passover might go overlooked.
  3. Alison pointed out that debuting on April Fools Day could pose a problem

This means I only have to finish the edits and I’ll be hitting publish next Friday (April 6th) night.  I’d do it earlier, but my son’s Spring Break would make promoting a challenge.  Anyway, let’s do the reveal:

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Sally G. Cronin’s Smorgasbord Blog Sitting Special

~ John W. Howell ~ 12 Comments

While Sally is taking a much-deserved rest a few bloggers are blog sitting so to speak. I’m there this morning with a Top Ten list. There are others who will be there today as well. Visit and enjoy. (Also, I’m using the “Press This” button for the first time. (Thanks, WP)

via Smorgasbord Blog Sitting Special – Top Ten Things Not to Do If You Have a Winning Mega Millions Ticket by John W. Howell

Jazz Age Wednesdays 22 ― Pip Meets Tiny (Part 1)

~ John W. Howell ~ 12 Comments

Teagan Geneviene has a marvelous Valentine’s Day post. She took her character Pip and had her meet up with Tiny the WWF champ. A visit to her blog is always a treat.

Teagan Riordain Geneviene's avatarTeagan's Books

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Happy Valentine’s Day

Dennisons 1920s Valentine girlHappy Valentine’s Day from Jazz Age Wednesdays here at Teagan’s Books!  Awhile back I was lucky enough to do a collaboration with Fiction Favorites* author John W. Howell*.  He did one of his outrageous lists of “Ten Things Not to Do” and that took me to my short story, In the Pip of Time*. 

John Howell BooksI’m happy to say that John agreed to work with me again.  Reading the list that John created especially for this collaboration gave me such fun, vivid images that my story will be more than one post.  However, his list will be sort of a spoiler.  So I’m saving it as a treat for next week. 

Anyhow, in John’s lists of things not to do, a recurring character is Tiny, the WWF champ.  I thought it might be fun if Pip…

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Tuesday – Anything Possible _ Kreative Kue #159 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 23 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or website, next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #159

The Trip by John W. Howell © 2018

“Will you stop giggling. I’m trying to hear.”

“I can’t help it. That last Jal-jeera went to my head.”

“I guess the fact that it is only spices and no alcohol is lost on you.”

“Say what you want, but that cumin packs a punch. Where are we anyway?”

“If you’ll stop babbling maybe I can find out.”

“Hey look. There are crowds of people along the highway.”

“It appears we’re in some kind of parade. What are you doing?”

“I’m going to wave my hat. They’re waving at us.”

“Yeah, I see that. Notice no one is smiling though.”

“Oh, that’s a little creepy isn’t it.”

“I would say. Hold on. I’m getting a signal. Yes, this is Channing. Who’s this? Uh huh. So how did we get here? We are in a damn parade. We are on a float. It’s not a float? Okay, roger that, Channing out.”

“Who was that?”

“Believe it or not that was Century Base One.”

“What’d he say.”

“For some reason, we took a wrong turn at Waypoint Beta and are now on our way to a sacrifice.”

“A sacrifice. I’ve never been to a sacrifice.”

“You idiot. Of course, you’ve never been. We are the sacrifice.”

“Why can’t I remember?”

“Remember what?”

“The trip from the Jal-jeera joint to here.”

“Don’t feel alone. I can’t either.”

“What do we do now?”

“I’ve set your transponder to section four. Now let’s get out of here.”

“I think I gave my transponder to that pretty girl.”

“What pretty girl?”

“The one in the Jal-jeera joint.”

“The one with the blond hair?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I guess she and I will be in section four.”

“Where will I be?”

“My guess is hot water. See ya,”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at a Gas Station

~ John W. Howell ~ 61 Comments

 

10 If you are at a gas station, do not buy and eat anything not in a sealed bag. If you do, at best the food will be made today. At worst you will be lucky enough to experience emergency room procedures first hand. (Wow, that stomach pump was a real rush huh,Dalton?)

9 If you are at a gas station, do not think you can find that forgotten birthday present. If you do, at best your lack of attention will be noted. At worst, that mug with the 7/11 logo will be coming back to you quicker than you imagined. (Who knew how fast a mug could travel and how hard it could hit. Right, Danny? Oh, and I would put some ice on that lump if I were you.)

8 If you are at a gas station, do not think the restroom is like home. If you do, at best you’ll just look and move on. At worst, trying to use the bathroom without touching anything might not work well in the end. (How you fell down is still a mystery, Darren. Also, I don’t think that hand sanitizer is going to be enough for your whole body.)

7 If you are at a gas station, do not be rude to the help. If you do, at best they will let you slip. At worst, Tiny the WWF champ who is working there as part of his aggravated assault probation agreement has just allowed the last rude customer to get by. (Looks like we have a straw that broke the camel’s back situation, Dane. I think I would make for the door and hope for the best.)

6 If you are at a gas station and the lines are long, do not insist on having a clerk run last years lotto tickets through the machine to see if you have a winner. If you do, at best you will be told to come back when it is less busy. At worst, the people behind you will form a vigilante group and leave you tied up outside. (Seems like a drastic measure doesn’t it, Dwane. Of course, most were grabbing some beer for the Superbowl and kick off was in ten minutes.)

5 If you are at a gas station, do not walk in the door in your ski mask. If you do, at best no one will notice you since you are a customer. At worst, the guy behind the counter still has PTSD from the last robbery and has his finger on the panic alarm. (Was a little awkward explaining to the police you forgot about the mask, wasn’t it, Darrel. Now with your hands cuffed behind your back and you on the floor it is almost impossible.)

4 If you are at a gas station, do not fuel up and continue to puff on that cigar. If you do, at best the wind will blow the fumes away. At worst, just when your tank is full and the automatic trigger doesn’t work you realize there might be a massive fire.  (Lucky you, Deven. You were able to toss that cigar well away. Next time listen to me.)

3 If you are at a gas station, do not try to use the air pump. If you do, at best it is out-of-order. At worst you will feed it four quarters before you finally have enough air in your tire to limp to the tire store. (The worse part was skinning your knuckles on the rapid recoil of the hose, wasn’t it Doug?)

2 If you are at a gas station, do not ask for directions. If you do, at best all you’ll get is a shrug. At worst, you’ll get directions that put you on county road three which leads to the Twilight Zone. (What was it about that kid of eighteen with the wild stare that made you think he even knew where he was, let alone tell you how to get to grandma’s, Doyle?)

1 If you are at a gas station, do not ask if there is a mechanic on duty. If you do, at best you will be laughed out of the place. At worst, someone will pretend to be a mechanic with the result your car is now ready for auction. (Well all that beer and beef jerky should have told you something about their primary business, Damion.)

Views of the Neighborhood – A Peek at the Damage

~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

I made a point that I was not going to show pictures of the destruction of Hurricane Harvey since I felt it to be an invasion of individual privacy. I still believe that but there are some photos that can be shown which will give you a further idea of the damage of the Hurricane. These were taken yesterday during a rainstorm but will give you an idea. Most of these businesses are going to return.

Port Aransas

These buildings have been taken down to the studs.

This is now a shell, ready for renovation

The little store on the left was severely damaged but the bike shop is open.

The damage to the store with the shark was almost total. The shark remained pretty much intact.

This used to be a liquor store and a sno cone stand

Workers repairing the roof of the Islander in the rain

The sea-captain stands alone. His partner is off on a trip.

Even the national chains took a hit. CVS just installed a trailer for prescriptions. Notice the arrow on the parking lot. The wind literally stripped it.

Here is what remains of a gas station and Pizza Hut. They are fixing the building. Not sure on the gas station.

Here is what is left of what we called Mount Debris. It was the holding place for all the debris in town. It was about fifty feet high and more than a football field long It is getting smaller by the day.

Review: His Revenge by John W. Howell

~ John W. Howell ~ 14 Comments

Laurie Bell who is a terrific author, did a super review on His Revenge. A visit to her blog will reward you with some really good writing and reviews.

Laurie Bell's avatarRambles, writing and amusing musings

Review: His Revenge by John W. Howell

About the Book

There is no way out as John Cannon either becomes a traitor to America or causes thousands of innocent people to die if he refuses to co-operate.  America loves John Cannon, its newest hero, and the President wants to present him with the highest civilian medal for bravery for saving the Annapolis midshipman from a terrorist plot to destroy them. While in Washington for the award ceremony, John unwillingly becomes an accomplice in another plan by the same group to attack the credibility of the US President and the stability of the worldwide oil market. 

The second John J Cannon Thriller moves from a barrier Island off the coast of Texas to Washington DC, then to Northern California, and finally to Ecuador. John is on the receiving end of an offer he cannot refuse. His avowed enemy Matt Jacobs now wants…

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