Top Ten Things Not to Do While Tubing

~ John W. Howell ~ 57 Comments

 

This post originally ran on July 10th 2017. Since I know this summer activity continues, maybe a word of caution will be headed this time. I hope you enjoy it.

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The inspiration for this post is the Texas sport of tubing. To be a tuber, all you need is a truck inner tube, a cooler of beer, snacks, and a lovely full river like the Guadalupe. Since I have not been tubing myself, this list is a matter of observation.

10 If you are tubing, do not wear regular shoes. If you do, at best, they will be water-logged. At worst, you will lose just one and will have a distinct limp at the end of the day. (Something about water and loafers that just don’t mix, huh, Bosco?)

9 If you are tubing, do not leave your cooler tube untethered. If you do, at best, your floating neighbors will catch it before going downstream. At worst, your cooler will wander off and bump into Tiny, the WWF champ who just finished his twelve-step plan to quit drinking.(Funny how he ripped the top off the cooler, almost like he knew there was a twelve-pack inside. He is now looking at you, and I would paddle on if I were you, Buster.)

8 If you are tubing, do not assume you won’t drag the bottom. If you do, at best, you will get a suit full of mud. At worst, you might lose your suit to the weight of the clay and will have to work out a creative way to exit the river. (Looks like Channel Six News is doing a special on tubing. You should be a big hit with that officer waiting for you, Ferd.)

7 If you are tubing, do not ignore the current. If you do, at best, you’ll struggle to get out at the end of your float trip. At worst, you will keep going until you empty into the Gulf of Mexico. (The Coast Guard wants to talk to you, Buford. Something about smuggling by inner tube. Good luck with that.)

6 If you are tubing, do not forget to park your car at the end of the trip. If you do, at best, you might catch a ride with your friends. At worst, you will still be hitchhiking after the sun goes down. (Who is going to pick up someone with a tube and cooler who looks deranged, Tex?)

5 If you are tubing, do not overserve yourself. If you do, at best, you’ll fall asleep. At worst, you’ll decide to imitate Jack Sparrow and board your neighbor’s tubes demanding pieces of eight. (Funny how that one guy gave you a knuckle sandwich calling it a piece of five, huh, Putz?)

4 If you are tubing, do not forget your manners. If you do, at best, most will ignore you. At worst, a committee of fellow tubers will intercede and make sure you get drydocked. (Shouting obscenities at homeowners along the bank is something your crowd doesn’t do, Bunky.)

3 If you are tubing, do not decide to pull out and eat your lunch on private land. If you do, at best, the owner will nicely ask you to move on. At worst, the owner threatened to shoot the next trespasser, and it looks like it is you. (Nothing like a shotgun to inspire movement, right, Leroy?)

2 If you are tubing, do not tie up with your friends and make an island such that no one can pass. If you do, at best, expect a lot of yelling. At worst, you might experience a few blowouts as others pass you. (You did not expect that sharp object did you, Ralph?)

1 If you are tubing, do not think the banks of the river are all public rest stops. If you do, at best you might embarrass yourself. At worst, you may violate local obscenity laws and find yourself in big trouble. (Never thought you were demonstrating lewd behavior, huh, Pal?)

Views of the Neighborhood – Different Things

~ John W. Howell ~ 79 Comments

Today we are going to go to the neighborhood and look at two different things. We are being catered by Con Todo of Austin. Our entertainment is Patsy Cline.

Menu (click to enlarge if needed)

Picture of an old time school bus

We are ready

This is a mailbox in the neighborhood. This photo was pulled from Google by The Producer. It is what is considered a ‘before’ photo.

Here is the after. Looks like someone got too friendly with VooDoo Rangers.

Here is the interim view. Need to continue to get mail.

Now for the cement block first phase of construction.

The next phase of stucco work is complete.

 

Finished product.

Here is a culvert with brickwork.

Here is a culvert with brickwork of another kind. (Go figure, right?)

I hope you enjoyed the different things. Relax and enjoy the food and music. I hope you have a terrific week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Envelope

~ John W. Howell ~ 70 Comments

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

Tapping my fingers on the counter has no effect on the speed of delivery of the only elixir that can be considered by me as lifesaving. The machine must make the frothy, full-flavored coffee in its own time. That is understood but it does not make it any easier to wait or understand the wait when every nerve is screaming for caffeine. The mind is strong, but the flesh is weak. To quote the flesh, “Give me coffee or someone gets hurt.”

Finally, the machinations are over, and my cup runnith full. One sip and the insurrection going on inside the body is put down. All the minions go back to work, and the day has begun. During the second sip, a slight sound is detected by the Arlo security system. A quick phone check shows the message, Movement, at the front door. Snapping on the two-way communication system, the question of who is there is transmitted to the outside. The response is surprising. Special Delivery. A signature is required.

A huge sigh escapes just at the thought of disarming the security system. But since there doesn’t seem to be an alternative. The tower machine guns are deactivated, the moat screen rolled, the concertina wire retracted, the boiling oil set to standby, the claymore mines detached, The trebuchet reset, the iron gate opened, and the locks and bolts thrown. Easing the door open, no one seems to be on the porch. There is a buzzing like a hive of bees. In a flash, a drone drops down and meets me eye to eye, so to speak. A metallic voice asks for my signature, quickly scrawled on a glass plate. An envelope is thrust at me from somewhere inside the drone. I take it, and the drone shoots straight up and disappears.

I can see the envelope is from Linda Hill. I open it and read the message inside. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “envelope.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy! To see how others handle the prompt, visit Linda’s blog. Here’s the link: https://lindaghill.com/2023/08/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-12-2023/

Envelope by John W. Howell © 2023

“Well, that was easy.”

“It was like it was made for me.”

“You use  the word ‘envelope’ every week.”

“I know, right?”

“Maybe Linda decided to give you a break.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“So now that the prompt is nailed, what do we do now?”

“We could go to the library.”

“Um, why?”

“To pick up some books.”

“Books to read, you mean?”

“Yeah, that’s what you do with books.”

“Is there a chance it is on the way to the pub?”

“If you ask if we can stop at the pub after the library, the answer is yes.”

“How about before?”

“You’re pushing the envelope.”

“Okay, after is fine. I can hold out. Got Uber ordered.”

“Great. What kind of mess did you order this time?”

“Tell me you didn’t enjoy the other rides?”

“The road grader was a challenge.”

“Only cause it rained, and there was no room in the cab.”

“There was that too.”

“So the guy is here.”

“Where?”

“Over there.”

“All I see is a Good Humor truck.”

“That’s it. I must warn you he has a couple of stops before we arrive.”

“Did I ever tell you how much I dislike bells?”

“No, never. He going to throw in a Dreamsicle, too.”

“Just can’t wait.”

 

 

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF – Fri-Yay/Good News

~ John W. Howell ~ 82 Comments

Today’s good news story comes from Twiggy’s birthplace, Dog Ranch Rescue via Newsweek.

Woman Adopts the One Shelter Dog Nobody Wanted: ‘No More Waiting’

BY

 

From left: Doris with her new family and a close-up picture of the French bulldog. She was left without a home at 9 years old but now has a forever residence.Photo-DOG RANCH RESCUE

A dog that was surrendered to a shelter because of a family allergy has found her perfect forever home.

“Her family, who had her since she was a puppy, had a baby, and the baby developed terrible allergies to her,” Laura Galloway from Dog Ranch Rescue told Newsweek. “They had to choose between the baby and Doris. It hard for Doris to lose her home like that at 9 years old.”

Dog Ranch Rescue in Anna, Texas, specializes in caring for French bulldogs, and when the heartbroken family reached out and explained their situation, the shelter took on Doris. Founded in 2014, Dog Ranch Rescue provides help for dogs from local shelters, strays and puppy mills.

Restoring dogs to good health and rehoming them, Dog Ranch Rescue works hard to ensure every animal finds their perfect forever home. Since the shelter opened, more than 2,000 dogs have come through its doors and found new, permanent families.

Finding the perfect home for Doris wasn’t easy, though. She didn’t get along well with other canines and needed someone who would understand the requirements with adopting an older dog, too.

“Our sanctuary is a wonderful place, and we take exceptional care of the dogs, but it’s not a home,” said Galloway. “We had her for months and months looking for a needle in a haystack.”

But the right owner appeared from an unlikely source when Clarissa Cardenas, in her early 20s, got in touch with Dog Ranch Rescue.

“When I got the application from Clarissa, I was a little concerned because she was younger,” said Galloway. “But, as I got to know her and listen to her heart—it made me want to cry.

“She didn’t have unrealistic expectations about adopting a senior dog and just understood what adopting a dog like Doris would take,” Galloway added.

Living in San Antonio, Clarissa let the rescue know that she was heading to Colorado on vacation and wanted to stop by. When Galloway met Clarissa, she knew the young woman would be the perfect pet owner.

“To have someone so young be so worldly, have wisdom of many years—it’s amazing,” said Galloway. “Then, when she came, Doris couldn’t have been happier to meet her.”

Before long, Clarissa whisked Doris off on vacation with her, and after their trip, Doris will head back home with her new family.

“No more lobby for Doris, no more waiting,” Galloway said in a post on Facebook, announcing the French bulldog’s new home.

The good news is that a special person, mature beyond her years, went out of her way to open her heart to a needy dog. Today’s JohnKu talks about wisdom and caring. I hope you have a terrific weekend.

Wisdom by John W. Howell © 2023

Measuring wisdom,

Is not a matter of years . . .

But how one behaves.

 

Thursday – Twiggy Ventures Forth

~ John W. Howell ~ 122 Comments

“Hey, Twiggy.”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Don’t you think going out and playing would be a good idea?”

“Gee, Dad. It’s so hot out there.”

“Oh, come on. You are a Texas dog. You can take it. Besides, it’s below a hundred right now.”

“Well, if you think it’s okay. Maybe for a little while.”

“Okay, so here you are. What do you think?”

“The heat’s no problem, but what’s with the kaleidoscope?”

“That called dappled sun. Poets go nuts over that stuff.”

“Well, I think it is some kind of trigger. Feels like I’m in a virtual game.”

“It does keep you cooler. Check out where the sun is full strength.”

“I suppose that is a good thing.”

“You suppose? Too much heat is not good.”

“I was hoping to take a sun bath. I’m going up on the porch.”

“This is like Hell’s Back Porch.”

“It does feel good on the bones.”

“Well, it may be good for a bulldog, but as for this human, I’m out of here.”

“You have to know when enough is enough. I’ll take a little more.”

“I hear you knockin’, but you can’t come in.”

“Nice imitation of Fats Domino,  but time to open the door.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – Clothes

~ John W. Howell ~ 55 Comments

So I opened The Last Drive randomly to page 271 and, without looking, pointed to the page. The word nearest my finger is clothes, which is our prompt today.

Clothes by John W. Howell © 2023

“Well, sir, we can certainly measure your waist, but I think it will still be an extra, extra large.”

“That simply can’t be. The last time I bought trousers, I was a large.”

“Looking at your trousers, sir, I imagine that was a while ago.”

“I beg your pardon.”

“I’m just saying that you need larger clothes, sir.”

“I can’t understand it. I don’t eat more or drink more. Why do I weight more?”

“Only the gods know for sure, sir.”

“How old are you?”

“Pardon?”

“You look about my age, and you are like a rail.”

“Lots of worry on my part, sir.”

“Worry?”

“Yes, sir. I have responsibilities that would crush the average person.”

“Oh my. This is distressing to hear.”

“It must be hard on you, sir. There is illness, house repairs, and car repairs. Some days I don’t know how I can survive.”

“There, there. It can’t be all that bad.”

“No, not for you. You have everything. I, on the other hand, am pressed to cover the costs each day.”

“You have this wonderful job in this men’s store.”

“Yes, men come in and decide not to buy more clothes since the size they insist on stuffing themselves into won’t fit.”

“Here, let me take these extra, extra, large sizes in the changing room and try them on.”

“Oh, sir. You don’t have to do that even though that would save me today.”

“Get me several other suits. Today is a day to step out of the comfort zone and live.”

“Sir, your positive attitude is an example for us all. I’ll be right back with a few more things for you.”

“You take your time. I feel reborn.”

“As you should, sir. As you should.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Photo Shoot.

~ John W. Howell ~ 71 Comments
Photo by Christian Wiediger on Unsplash

 

This list ran on July 24, 2017. I think it is still current, at least for me. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Photo Shoot.

This list was inspired by my Producer. We did a shoot yesterday, and the subject of Ten Things Not to Do came up. I have to admit publically that I only did number ten once. The rest – all fiction. I hope you enjoy the list.

10 If you are on a photo shoot, do not ignore the advice of your Producer. If you do, at best, you’ll have lousy photos. At worst, you’ll have bad pictures and an ex-producer. (See what happens when you ignore good advice, Pard?)

9 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take photos of people without permission. If you do, at best, you may have to run fast. At worst, you will take a lovely photo of Tiny, the WWF champ, before he can suck in his substantial belly. (Funny how that camera turned to dust in Tiny’s hand, huh, Tex?)

8 If you are on a photo shoot, do not try to get the whole picture while backing up to the edge of a cliff. If you do, at best, a fence will stop you from going over. At worst, you will be catching multiple shots of the cliff face whizzing by you. (It is now time to worry about the landing, Putz.)

7 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take too many pictures of the same thing. If you do, at best, you’ll waste camera memory. At worst, your Producer will believe you have some kind of fixation on the object. (Sure, you can explain away a building, but that person in a bikini is another matter right, Ferd?)

6 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take the shot until you check the camera settings. If you do, at best, the last setting is still okay for this shot. At worst, you will get home to find that the day’s best shot is a blur. (Oh, don’t worry, Buford. You’ll get another chance to photograph that rare bird in flight. Maybe in the next life.)

5 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take the shot until you check the background. If you do at best, all is good. At worst, that cute puppy in the background just decided to lift a leg as you pressed the shutter button. (And, of course, this is the only photo of the scene, hey, Bunky?)

4 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take photos of places where you see signs that say “No Photographs.” If you do, at best, you might get away with one or two with no flash. At worst, just as you are about to take the first photo, the word SECURITY appears in your viewfinder. (That guy is big and very close to you, Buzzy.)

3 If you are on a photo shoot, do not get carried away with the scene. If you do, at best, you may forget to set something. At worst, every one of your photos has the camera body strap or your thumb front and center. (Well, that was fun. Maybe the circus will return next year, and you can try again, Doofus.)

2 If you are on a photo shoot, do not enter private property to take photos. If you do, at best, you may be asked to leave. At worst, you might be unable to outrun that gigantic bull you thought would make a great picture. (You did see the “No Trespassing – Wild Bull” sign, didn’t you, Ace?)

1 If you are on a photo shoot, do not ignore the weather to get your shot. If you do, at best, you might get wet. At worst, that bolt of lightning sure cleared your sinus. (You know not to stand in water in an electrical storm, don’t ya, Bosco?)

Views of the Neighborhood – Water Sources for Deer

~ John W. Howell ~ 98 Comments
For those who follow this blog, you know it has been hot here in Texas. In fact, I’ve talked too much about it. One item I haven’t mentioned is the deer. As you can imagine, the deer need water sources with all the heat. Today, we are taking a tour to see what folks are doing to supply deer water. We are catered by Cypress Cajun.
Grill of Austin. Our entertainment is Brad Paisley.
Menu
BRUNCH SPECIALTIES
Creole Eggs Benedict – English muffin, poached eggs, Cajun tasso ham, Creole hollandaise, served with one side (also available with classic hollandaise sauce)
Eggs Napoleon – English muffin, poached eggs topped with crawfish etouffee and cheddar-jack cheese, served with choice of one side.
Loaded Biscuit – Buttermilk biscuit open-faced, topped with Cajun tasso ham, andouille sausage gravy, and two eggs your way
Shrimp & Grits -Gulf shrimp, andouille sausage, and red peppers in a traditional low country gravy atop our creamy garlic cheese grits with crumbled bacon
Spanky Special -Sandwich with fried egg, American cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, red onion and mayo on toasted whole wheat
BREAKFAST STANDARDS
Cajun Hash -Andouille sausage, tasso ham, and boudin sausage sautéed with home fries, tomato, onion, and jalapeno, topped off with two eggs any way you like them.
French Toast -French bread, grilled golden brown, and topped with powdered sugar, served with one side.
The Bayou Breakfast – Two eggs any way you like them, plus any three sides
Buttermilk Pancakes – Three homemade pancakes with a choice of one side. Add Blueberries, Chocolate Chips, and Candied Pecans
Build Your Own Omelet – Three egg omelet with three of the following ingredients: andouille sausage, Tasso ham, mushrooms, spinach, tomatoes, jalapenos, onions, Gulf shrimp, lump crab, crawfish etouffée, Creole hollandaise topping, parmesan, cheddar jack, or provolone Served with choice of one side.
Picture of an old time school bus
Let’s go
An excellent stainless steel pan makes a good watering place.
A horse bucket does the trick.
Here is a doe leaving a Home Depot bucket.
Another Home Depot bucket. It’s not the best choice since Bucks can get their antlers stuck if the water level is low.
Speaking of Bucks. Here is a thirsty one in the sun’s glare.
Ah yes. A long, cool drink.
Another type of bucket.
A little blue one.
A tub and a hose.
That ends our tour. Time for food and music. I hope you have a great week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Pick a number”

~ John W. Howell ~ 75 Comments

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

Thinking of the heat possibilities for the next ten days, the slow dribble of coffee and rising steam leads me to consider ice cubes in the brew. Shaking off the thought and taking the first sip causes the concern over hot stuff in the summer to fly out the window. Yes, it has been above 100 degrees F (37 C) for the last 28 days. The projection is for records in the above 105 categories (40 C) for the next ten days.

There is no choice but to hang on and pray that the power grid holds. This means dog walks in the morning and anything that needs to be done outside in the morning as well. We are expecting another stage of water conservation which will mark the end of watering any lawns that people have.

We have zero scape, so the water restrictions will not affect our garden. If this heat keeps up, though, I can imagine the time coming that will require a sponge bath in the sink. I think Twiggy will be the only one glad for the water reforms. Her love of bath is only surpassed by her love of a vet visit.

I am surprised that while watching the Weather Channel, the announcer breaks into the broadcast. “We have a message from Linda Hill,” is his lead-in. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “pick a number.” Choose a number—any number—and write about it any way you’d like. Have fun!”

Gotta wonder how Linda does it. Anyway, if you would like to see how others handle the prompt, visit Linda’s blog. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2023/08/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-5-2023/

Pick a Number by John W. Howell © 2023

“What number did you pick?”

“One hundred is the number.”

“I guess you are all too familiar with it.”

“Yeah. It’s like an old friend.”

“Not sure I would put it that way.”

“You know we call this part of the summer Hell’s Back Porch.”

“So I’ve heard. When’s it going to break.”

“I figure a day before the freeze.”

“What freeze?”

“They are projecting a colder than normal winter for Texas.”

“Does it ever end?”

“Well, beats the alternative as they say.”

“Lucky we still have VoooDoo Ranger.”

“Speaking of that.”

“Uber is here already. He’s right over there.”

“What is that thing?”

“A road grader.”

“Why?”

“You ever ride on a road grader?”

“No.”

“So, a new life experience. Will help you forget the heat.”

“It will be so cool in the pub once we get there. I’ll be grateful right?”

“Now you are getting it.”

“Notwithstanding, I’ll be soaking wet from sweat.”

“Nature’s cool down technique.”

“Fine.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF – Fri-Yay/Goodnews

~ John W. Howell ~ 72 Comments

 

Dogs arrive – Photo Denise O’Brian

You may have seen today’s good news story, but it is such a heart warmer I couldn’t pass it up. The story comes to us from USA Today. Here it is in its entirety.

Hundreds of dogs parade for man’s 100th birthday party

Saman Shafiq

USA TODAY

When Robert Moore’s family started planning his 100th birthday party, they wanted to make sure it was special.

There was going to be a big family dinner, of course, but since a lot of Moore’s friends are no longer alive, his daughter, Alison, thought including man’s best friend – dogs – in the celebration would be a good idea.

“My father loves dogs. He just loves them all,” said Alison speaking to USA Today.

A few days before the party, Alison shared a post on Facebook and Nextdoor explaining her idea and asking friends, neighbors, and members of her community in San Jose, California, to drop by for a parade with their dogs on June 17.

Robert Moore pets a dog at his 100th birthday party

Robert Moore pets a dog – Photo Holly Barr

Though her post was widely shared, Alison had little expectation and was prepared for only a handful of people to show up. However, hundreds of dogs and their owners lined up on the streets outside their house, waiting patiently to be petted by the birthday boy.

What was even more exciting was that the furry creatures arrived in all sorts of costumes, from tuxedos to cowboy hats and bumble bee costumes. There were pups riding in classic cars, as well as dogs with disabilities pulling carts.

“It was all so amazing,” said Alison. “I thought only a few would show up, and they’d just walk in front of the house and be done. But the response was so overwhelming. People not only brought their dogs but families also came with their little ones who wished my father a happy birthday.”

Denise O’Brian with her father Robert Moore – Photo by Denise O’Brian

Many of the surprise guests also brought gifts for Moore, including flowers, cupcakes, handmade drawings, and posters.

“My sister and brother-in-law picked him up from his assisted living center and told him about the surprise party,” Alison said. “He was shocked, but at the same time, he was so excited for it. By the end of the event, he was so overwhelmed [with the response].”

“He petted every single dog that came through. It was so lovely,” said Alison.

Denise O’Brien, who brought her father to the celebration, told USA Today that her father couldn’t stop “talking about that wonderful dog parade party.” She added that despite her father’s Alzheimer’s condition, he enjoyed every minute of the party and spending time with dogs.

Alison said that ever since pictures and videos of the dog parade were shared on social media, people have been reaching out to her to tell her how much they enjoyed seeing the celebrations and that they hope to do something like this in their own community as well.

The good news here is kindness is rewarded. Today’s JohnKu talks about paying it forward. I hope you have a great weekend.

Reward by John W.Howell © 2023

Have you noticed that,

Kindness shown for no reason. . .

Comes back in no time.