Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “a phrase you grew up with.”

May 7, 2022May 6, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

Sitting with a cup of coffee and staring at the PC causes the overwhelming feeling of wanting to get a hammer. No, not just a hammer but a big sledgehammer. A transition to a MAC pro back in 2015 caused the mind to relocate all Microsoftknowledge into that dark space of the brain reserved for things that go bump in the night. Now that the MAC has gone to the hospital to carry on, the PC must once again be worshiped.

Yes, the single keystrokes and immaculate interfaces with all things Apple have been displaced with the clunky stagger around in the dark until the answer is found system that is the legacy of Bill Gates. When you have to sign those user license agreements that often accompany a Microsoft product, the fine print has a clause that no one reads. We all promise to be Bill Gate’s cabana person if called upon. We also promise that no matter how difficult the program is to execute, we will keep at it until our hair falls out.

So staring at the 100-pound laptop that gives off enough heat to warm St. Louis will do nothing in helping to write this post. As the parents always said. “A journey starts with the first step.” My first step will be to the front door since the Ring camera just announced a delivery. It is a hope that nothing of the cartoon nature will pop out of some obscure place. As luck would have it, a package sits on the driveway totally flat and covered with the marks of a supersized tire. The thought of it being my MAC Pro drove the hysterical reaction of going through the security protocols like a madman to reach my baby.

A gentle lift while the tears build to overflowing signaled a lightness of the package that could not be the MAC. Ripping the flap, there was only a message inside. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “a phrase you grew up with.” Include in your post a phrase your mom/dad/grandparent/sibling used all the time when you were growing up, or just write whatever inspires you based on that phrase. Enjoy!

If you would like to enjoy, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link

https://lindaghill.com/2022/05/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-7-2022/

“Lost your MAC, huh?”

“Not lost. Just being repaired.”

“You MAC nerds drive me crazy.”

“Why’s that?”

“All the whining when you have to use real computers.”

“You mean Microsoft operating systems?”

“Yeah. Takes raw courage to stick with ’em.”

“Seems like you would want to live life easier.”

“Like you said, “A journey starts with the first step.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Living with Microsoft is a journey.”

“And the step part?”

“One at a time. Soon it doesn’t seem so bad.”

“Great way to live.”

“Besides.”

“Besides what?”

“PCs are much cheaper.”

“For good reason. Are you going to continue pitching for Bill Gates or want a beer?”

“Beer, please.”

“Good choice. Let’s go.”

“I’m buying.”

“Even better.”

“When’s your MAC coming back?”

“Don’t want to talk about it.”

“That soon, huh?”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF Fri-Yay/Good News

May 6, 2022May 5, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 78 Comments

Today’s good news story comes from the Good News Network

One-eyed Cat Missing For 5 Years Shows Up on Offshore Oil Rig Baffling Owners
By Andy Corbley -Apr 28, 2022

A five-year odyssey for a cat named Dexter seems to have finally come to an end after a long, covert stay at a prison was interrupted by his arrival onboard an offshore oil rig, which finally resulted in a call to animal services.

The cat was a regular “well-loved” hang about at Her Majesty’s Prison Grampian in Peterhead, Scotland, where staff used to “fuss over” him and even gave him the nickname One-eyed Joe.

Then a most unexplainable thing happened: One-eyed Joe somehow ended up in a shipping container a mile-and-a-half away at the town’s port before being shipped onto an offshore oil rig, where workers “ran away frightened” after the all-black cat jumped out of the container.

After filling out an incident card, (which must have been humorous) the staff aboard the rig took to Joe most kindly, who was now quite comfortable with living alongside the rig workers. According to The National Scot Newspaper, he was “spoiled rotten” during his time there.

Eventually, though, someone called the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) in Aberdeen, who retrieved Joe after the cat had been flown off the rig on a helicopter—a remarkable feat considering how hard it is normally just to get a cat into a carrier.

“We were alerted to an incident of a cat being found in a shipping container offshore,” Aimee Findlay, a Scottish SPCA animal rescue officer, said in a statement. “We’ve no idea how the cat ended up there but attended the heliport to collect him.”

One-eyed Joe was microchipped, and upon scanning the staff learned his name was actually Dexter, and that his owner had lost the cat five years ago.

“We are so glad that he was well looked after for the time he was missing but we’re even more delighted to be able to reunite him with his original owner, thanks to his microchip being up to date,” Findlay said.

The good news here is Deter was well taken care of and eventually united with his family. This week’s JohnKu talks about not giving up.

If a loved one is lost,

Have faith that they will return . . .

Remember Dexter.

Thursday – A Little Personal

May 5, 2022May 4, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 98 Comments

“What is going on, Lucy?”

“Well, little one, it seems the Boss’ MAC went down.”

“So, what does that mean?”

“He has a limited way to post photos. So we will have to be content with just a few.”

“But I wanted to show the new plants and the nice potting area.

“I’m afraid it will have to wait. We can only do so much with a Boss who is so Apple-centric.”

“You would think he would maybe remember his days behind a PC at his age.”

“Old dogs forget old tricks, Little One.”

“How about this tomato plant. We can show that, right?”

“I would be quick about it. You see, the Boss normally has a way to reduce the pixels on photos.”

“What can that have to do with a tomato?”

“He is off his game in pixel reduction so it takes more memory hence fewer photos.”

So the pixel problem comes to roost on us?”

“Yup. But hey, it’s not so bad. We can still have fun.”

“That no one will know about.”

“But we have each other and that is what really counts.”

“You are right Lucy. Also, you are it for tag.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 358 by Keith Channing

May 3, 2022May 2, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo ( below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

The Photo.

“So, where did you get this washed?”

“It was the boy scouts.”

“The boy scouts?”

“Yeah, there was a troop doing a car wash.”

“So you had them do it?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I have to wonder how you pulled that off?”

“Was easy. I looked, and there they were.”

“I mean how you got to them.”

“Oh, that.” Yeah, it was tricky.”

“I’m not sure they did a good job.”

The windshield does seem a bit streaky.”

“Where was this again?”

“In a church parking lot.”

“So you really had room.”

“Piece of cake. You see that tree line, right?”

“I nearly do, but yes.”

“You know we need to put more distance between us and the ground.”

“Yeah, I’m climbing now. It’s a wonder no one complained.”

“About what?”

“You landing a helicopter in a church parking lot.”

“Well, there was one complaint.”

“Do tell.”

“The minister. He lost his wig.”

“‘Flipped his wig,’ you mean?”

“No. He had a wig, and it blew into the trees. I gave him your number.”

“Great.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t costly.”

“Says you.”

“An expensive one would have stayed on his head.”

“Comforting for sure. Call ATC and get us cleared to 1000 feet. Those electric lines might be a problem.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at Graduation Time

May 2, 2022May 1, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 71 Comments

This post originally ran on June 8th, 2015. However, since there are still graduations, it will be okay to review them again.

* * *

The inspiration for this list is the fact that it is graduation season. When you think of all the graduations held in the US alone, you realize the potential exists that these ten things occur with similar results. I hope you enjoy the list and can manage to avoid them.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at Graduation Time

10 If you are a graduate, do not put something dumb on your mortar. If you do, at best, even if your family sees you, they will not want to admit you belong to them. At worst, the picture taken of your message will go viral and will show up every time someone searches your name on Google, including prospective employers. (Maybe you should have used five-letter words)

9 If you are a parent of a graduate, do not blow any type of horn when your child receives their diploma. If you do, at best, you will cause your kid to want to find another home. At worst, that big well-trained guy in front of you is fighting a hangover and will help you stow your horn where you will not want it stored. (Don’t even try to think where that might be.)

8 If you are a speaker at a graduation, do not tell the graduates that the world is looking to them for salvation. If you do, at best, your cliché will remind everyone just how out of it you are. At worst, your words will be quoted in some satirical publications that will point out just how many times graduating classes have heard the exact words throughout the millennium. (Maybe that Speeches for Dummies book wasn’t a good idea.)

7 If your graduate has decided to skip the ceremony, do not fight the decision. If you do, at best, your child will make attending the ceremony sound like parental abuse. At worst, the child will attend with something dumb written on the mortar to the tune of “my parents made me do this.” (You can expect the message to be broadcast worldwide.)

6 If your family is experiencing a graduation, do not think this indicates your job as a parent is complete. If you do, at best, you will be surprised by requests for help as life commences. At worst, you will need counseling to overcome the feeling of failure as your child moves into what was your spare room. (Can’t last forever. Or can it?)

5 If you are the graduation ceremony organizer, do not think everything will run smoothly because of your careful planning. If you do, at best, you will be unprepared when there is a long period when no one can hear the speaker. At worst, you will not know what to do with a thousand champaign corks bouncing off the facility and school officials even though you banned the presence of alcohol at the ceremony. (Call the SWAT team. They’ll know what to do.)

4 If you are holding a graduation party, do not leave your house even though you trust your loving child to be trustworthy and in control. If you do, at best, a few more guests who were not expected will attend with little consequence. At worst, the state police will be looking for you to help fund the fire department, EMS, and SWAT team expenses incurred to break up the party and put out the fire destroying your and two neighbors’ houses. ( It’s just money, right?)

3 If you have a graduate, do not overdo the gift. If you do, at best, your child will expect a similar prize for other accomplishments. At worst, someday, it will need to be replaced. ( The words about the child being on their own when you gave the gift are forgotten.)

2 If you are attending a graduation ceremony, do not treat the event as if it is a football game. If you do, at best, you will get strange looks when you enter the stand with the team colors and jersey. At worst, you will get many people wanting to take the bratwurst you are grilling at your tailgate gathering. (The keg of beer is a nice touch.)

1 If you have a graduate, do not keep telling them how amazed you are that they made it through school. If you do, at best, they will think you did not have faith in their abilities. At worst, you will give the child a complex that will manifest in the longing for a career in fast food service as a grill person. ( You want fries with that?)

)

Views of the Neighborhood – Book and Bees Festival

May 1, 2022May 1, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 98 Comments

We are going three miles down the road to Bee Cave Texas. We are visiting Bee Cave’s first-ever book festival, Books & Bees. As a hub of literacy for children and adults, the Bee Cave Public Library hosts programs year-round that serve hundreds of families in the area and beyond. The City of Bee Cave is dedicated to educating the public and helping conserve this most important insect. The one-of-a-kind Books & Bees Festival will help Bee Cave accomplish two missions – share fantastic literature with kids and adults alike, featuring high-profile, bestselling authors – and teach residents and their kiddos more about bees. We are catered by Josephine House of Austin. Our entertainment is Roy Orbison.

English Muffin Breakfast Sandwich – Chicken sausage, harissa aioli, Grafton cheddar & scrambled egg

Steak & Eggs – 44 Farms bavette steak, roasted marble potatoes, red chimichurri, sunny side up egg

Lemon Ricotta Pancakes – Strawberries, blueberries, maple syrup, house cultured butter

Egg Salad Tartine – Dill, radish, sunflower shoots, capers on seeded wheat toast

Avocado Toast – House-made hot sauce, lime zest & sunny egg

Josephine House Burger – House-made bun, Grafton cheddar, greens, grilled red onion, harissa aïoli, frites

HuevosRancheros – House-made corn tostada,sunny side up eggs,black beans, ranchero sauce, queso cotija, cilantro

Shrimp & Grits – Barton Spring Mills grits, lemon, thyme, red pepper flake

Big Chopped Salad – Roasted chicken, pepitas, blackberries, goat feta & citronette

So let’s get going.

Here is the front of the library all decorated for the festival.

Yup, we are in the right place for the Books and Bees Festival.

This proves it.

A shot of the tents set up on the green.

The welcome tent.

Where you can get a bee finger puppet. (They wouldn’t let me have one.)

A lot of folks around that tent.

No wonder. It’s where headbands can be made.

Here is author Laekan Zea Kemp talking about her book.

There are author panels too. Here Eric Pohl takes a question

And for the bees nice flower seeds to be planted

Here is the Barnes & Noble crew getting ready to sell some books.

I hope you enjoyed the trip to Bee Cave. Now is the time for a cold one, food, and music. I hope you have a great week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Zip Zero Zilch

April 30, 2022April 30, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 57 Comments

Getting past the coffee prep gave me zero problems. Sipping the fresh brew caused me to believe that there would be zilch to worry about on this beautiful Saturday morning. Then, as my feet hit the footstool on the back porch, the zip of a figure passed the corner of my eye. Thinking it, another eye floater caused a return to the peaceful reverie and aromatic cup.

“Excuse me.” The words crashed into my consciousness like a hammer through the front window. Looking at the figure before me sent a register to the brain that this was no floater but a person in overalls.

“Yes?” Was all that could be mustered as a response.

“We have a delivery for Fiction Favorites.”

Shaking my head to try and understand how this person got over the moat, past the towers, and through the concertina wire, words did not immediately form for delivery. Then, finally, the words lined up in some semblance of order and marched out of my mouth. “I am Fiction Favorites.” is how they presented themselves.

The guy in overalls nodded and then spoke into a phone, indicating that they had reached the right place. It was only then that the realization of a hovering helicopter came into focus. At least that answered the question of how the security was breached. A mental note was made to the effect of installing antiaircraft systems to prevent such an occurrence again.

After a few more words, a large box descended from the helicopter and gently landed on the turf. The guy handed me a clipboard pointing to a signature line. Being a victim of being told what to do forever, my signature was proffered as directed. The guy grabbed a line and was yanked into the belly door, and the entire machine disappeared.

I pulled the string that said “pull to open,” and about 100 multicolored balloons went skyward. Such a sight brought a smile while reaching for the note on the bottom of the box. It was, of course, from Linda Hill, and here’s what it said. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “zip, zero, zilch.” Use one, use ’em all, bonus points if you use all three. Have fun!

If you would like to have fun, go to Linda’s blog and read how easy t is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2022/04/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-30-2022/

“Did you find out who the guy in overalls was?”

“No. It didn’t matter. I got the prompt.”

“Sometimes, you have zero sense.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t you think your readers would like to know?”

“I think their interest would be zilch.”

“Why do you say that?”

“The whole idea is the prompt. It means zip on who delivers it.”

“Not from what I read when a Warner brothers character shows up.”

“Well, that’s different.”

“How so?”

“Those characters are loved. This was a guy making a delivery.”

“From a helicopter.”

“There is that, I guess.”

“Did you get any markings on the helicopter?”

“No. There wasn’t time.”

“What’s this about antiaircraft systems?”

“Fictional license.”

“Like the rest?”

“Yup.”

“Is VooDooRanger real?”

“You bet.”

“Your turn to buy.”

“I didn’t mention something.”

“What?”

“There were 24 bottles of VooDoo Ranger in the box.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope, and a box of Hanover sourdough hard pretzels.”

“You get paid for these endorsements.”

“No, I just know what I like.”

“Okay, then let’s go.”

“French onion or France?”

“Pardon me?”

“Dip. What kind to go with the pretzels?”

“Where do you get dips.”

“Same place as the VooDoo Ranger.”

“French onion.”

“Good choice.”

“Can we go now?”

“After you.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF – Fri-Yay/Good News

April 29, 2022April 28, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 96 Comments

Our Good News today comes from the Good News Network. Here is the story

Tourists Come to See Tulips in Holland Once Again, Grabbing Incredible Photos of Spring – LOOK

By Good News Network – Apr 24, 2022

Tulip fields in Lisse, Netherlands by Matt Cooper – SWNS

Photographs in the last few weeks show the stunning kaleidoscope of colors bursting into bloom in Holland’s tulip fields.

Beginning in late March, millions of blooms have been delighting visitors in the Netherland with their patchwork of color.

British photographer Matt Cooper was one of those visitors. The 48-year-old from London traveled over the Easter weekend and shared his images and drone footage.

The images show Holland’s famous flower field landscapes, which have become a rich blanket of tulips with row upon of row of vivid block colors.

“I went there especially to shoot the tulips,” he said. “This is the best time to shoot them, as they flower in April and May every year.”

Cooper’s 4-day trip took him all over the country capturing the iconic fields by drone—especially the famous Keukenhof Tulip Gardens, one of the world’s largest flower gardens.

Noordoostpolder, Netherlands, by Matt Cooper – SWNS

The Garden holds an annual festival—but 2022 is the first time the festival has been open to the public since the pandemic. It runs through 15 May.

Cooper said the Dutch people take their tulips very seriously, and across the small country, “there are hundreds of millions of tulips’.

“The weather was beautiful too.”

SEE the scenes of the resurgent Keukenhof Tulip Gardens…

The good news is that beauty is around us even in the toughest times. Today’s JohnKu talks about not missing the beauty around you. I hope you have a super weekend.

It is all around,

All you have to do is look . . .

Nature has a show.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy Get Motivated

April 28, 2022April 27, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 108 Comments

Looks like Lucy and Twiggy are taking a little time to themselves. You know what they say, “Let sleeping dogs lie.”

“Who was that talking?”

“Huh. I didn’t hear anyone.”

“Whoever it was certainly does not respect the sanctity of the nap.”

“Well, little one. We are up now.”

“Yeah, and I was going to do a power nap today.”

“What is a power nap?”

“It’s where you take no more than twenty minutes and fall out completely.”

“We do that all the time.”

“Yeah, but this is different. You wake up refreshed and ready to resume the day.”

“I always wake up refreshed and ready to resume the day as it is.”

“But the idea here is you are awake for longer periods of time.’

“What fool thought this up?”

“You have me there. I think it was a millennial motivation type.”

“Yeah, so I think I’ll try one right now. Hey. What’s that noise?”

“Look at that, Lucy. FedEx, UPS, USPS, and Prime all simultaneously.”

“Good thing we are well-rested. Give ’em the St Louis special.”

“This crowd deserves a bark to New jersey.”

“You go, girl.”

#TenThingsYouMayNotKnow – About #JohnW.Howell

April 27, 2022April 27, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 4 Comments

I am at Marcia Meara’s today. She invited me over to talk about ten things you may not know about me. Most of you know Marcia from her outstanding books. I know Marcia as a friend and exceptional author. So come visit, and while there, check out her beautiful books. Thank you for having me today, Marcia.

The Write Stuff

Good Morning, Everyone! Today I’d like you to help me welcome a great friend and supporter of writers everywhere, #StoryEmpire member John W. Howell. I think you’ll really enjoy John’s post today, so let’s get things rolling!

Thank you, Marcia, for having me on your #TenThingsYouMayNotKnowAboutMe feature. When we initially talked about doing this, I explained to Marcia that the first item on the list would be the fact that I have evolved into a close imitation of Howard Hughes. You may recall in his later years; he became a recluse. Marcia being the kind and generous person she is, thought that would be an excellent beginning to the list. So, with that encouragement, here are the #TenThingsYouMayNotKnowAboutMe. You will note the Howard Hughes one is not there because you already know that one.