Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Launch of Twitter in 2006

July 13, 2020July 12, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

Twitter Logo History

This week marks the 14th anniversary of the launch of Twitter. Although most of us are probably Twitter users today, it might be fun to go back and take in the sights and sounds of that first occasion. As always, take this list, so you don’t inadvertently cause a tear in the time continuum.

10 If you go, do not mention iTunes to co-founder Evan Williams. If you do, at best he’ll be talking to someone else and miss the reference. At worst, you’ll get the Silicon Valley version of the stink eye. (You probably forgot, Loyal that when iTunes launched in 2005 Apple put Willaims’s podcasting business out of business. I think he is going to follow that stink eye with a black eye. It will be yours, of course.)

9 If you go, do not send Tiny the WWF champ any Twitter messages that contain abbreviations. If you do, at best, Tiny won’t have his phone turned on. At worst, he will become confused as to what you are saying. (You have to know, Lucan that a confused Tiny is a dangerous Tiny. Oh look, he has adopted his sumo wrestler stance. It could be he thinks LOL means Lay on Lucan)

8 If you go, do not correct the spelling of the service which was launched as Twttr. If you do, at best folks will think it’s a joke. At worst, Noah Glass a co-founder, and the one who came up with the name, Twitter, will think you stole his idea. (It looks like ole Noah has spent some time in the gym. I’m not sure you want to spar with him, Ludlow.)

7 If you go, do not ask to send the first tweet. If you do, at best, you’ll be ignored. At worst, Jack Dorsey, the engineer who came up with the concept, will not like you. (In case you didn’t know, Ludwik Jack was the first to send a tweet under his handle @jack. He sent the message, “Just setting up my twttr.” Now that he is finished, it looks like he is picking out a hammer from that table of tools. I wonder what he wants to do with that hammer?”

6 If you go, do not pull out your iPhone to send a tweet. If you do, at best everyone will be busy with setting up their own accounts and not notice. At worst, Evan Willians will spot your phone. (Since the iPhone was launched a year after Twitter, Luis, Evan will no doubt think you are from another planet. That won’t stop him from wanting your phone. Looks like he is borrowing Jack Dorsey’s hammer.)

5 If you go, do not tell Evan that you think he should allow more than 140 characters in a tweet. If you do, at best, Evan will think you are an idiot. At worst, Evan will wonder why you are making this suggestion. (You see, Lukman at the time of the Twitter launch SMS messages were limited to 140 characters. Once that limit was lifted, Twitter still hung on to 140 characters until 2017. Evan is heading over to tell you to mind your own business.)

4 If you go, do not ask if you can buy some stock. If you do, at best everyone will get a big laugh. At worst, Evan Williams will think you have been reading his private e-mails. (He does plan to take the company public, Luthais but not until there are more users. He waits until 2013 when there are 200 million subscribers and then offers stock at $29.00. The stock closed that first day at $44.90. Last Friday, it was worth $35.40. The company itself is estimated to be worth $31 Billion.)

3 If you go, do not try to describe Donald Trump’s use. If you do, At best, no one will take you serious. At worst, Evan Williams will want to know where you get your information. (Now you have completely blown your cover, Lyaksandro. Right now, the idea of Donald Trump even running for president, makes the average person laugh out loud. Good luck in getting out of this mess.)

2 If you go, do not tell Evan Williams that he will step away from Twitter in 2019. If you do, At best he won’t believe you. At worst, he will accuse you of working for Mark Zuckerberg at Facebook. (Of course, Lycus eventually Evan will leave Twitter to pursue other interests. Jack Dorsey will take over as CEO. We shouldn’t feel too sorry for Evan as he is worth $1.8 billion)

1 If you go, do not ask about privacy on Twitter. If you do, At best no one will know what you are talking about. At worst, Jack Dorsey will wonder what is driving your question. (Once he understands that you are wondering about selling user data, Lynn he is going to wonder where you got such an idea. I think it’s time to hit the way back button and head home. You will leave all there people scratching their heads.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Fading Flowers

July 12, 2020July 11, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 85 Comments

Today we are taking a stroll around the neighborhood to look at the last of the blooms. The summer heat is upon us, and so most of the flowers have finished, and the neighborhood settles into coping with the heat. Hope you enjoy.

Views of the Neighborhood

A very large pink Crape Myrtle. It hasn’t started dropping its blooms, but it will soon.

A red Crape Myrtle blooming its heart out.

Two more reds.

A white oleander. We usually see there on the highway.

A succulent going to seed.

A couple more Crape Myrtles.

A substantial white Crape Myrtle.

Some yard ornaments posing as deer.

Another succulent which went to seed then broke and uprooted itself.

I’m keeping my eye on this fig tree. The figs are getting bigger.

Esperanza in full bloom.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt- “Song”

July 11, 2020July 10, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness time again and here is Linda Hill to explain the prompt for this week. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “song.” First, find a picture–the closest one to you. Your prompt is the title and/or the lyrics of the first song that comes to mind when you look at the picture. Have fun!”

If you would like to have fun, please visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS July 11/2020

“What are you doing?”

“Looking at a picture of an antique car.”

“Why?”

“Long story.”

“Linda hill, right?”

“Right. Now I have to think of a song that the car inspires.”

“And then write about the song?”

“How did you know?”

“Five years looking over your shoulder every Saturday has given me certain clairvoyance.”

“So I think I’ll write about “On the Road Again.”

“The Willie Nelson hit?”

“Yeah, you’ve got it.”

“What are you going to say?”

“Well, I want to be on the road again, making music with my friends.”

“Have you ever been on the road making music with your friends?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then what are you going to write?”

“I’ll make up a story. How’s this. We are in a band, and we travel from town to town, making music.”

“Been done before.”

“Okay, how about we are in a band and we travel. to different countries making music.”

“That’s been done too.”

“Has anyone done being in a band and staying in the basement?”

“Now that may have some legs.”

“Pretty boring, I think.”

“You think?”

“Maybe ‘On The Road Again’ might not work. I know, how about the story of a young girl who has a T-bird.”

“And she gives all the guys a wild goose chase now.”

“Yeah. Then there’s a guy who wants to go out with her but as long as she has the T-Bird he doesn’t stand a chance.”

“So the girl tells her dad that she’s going to the library but goes to the hamburger stand instead.”

“Here’s where it really gets good.”

“Her dad takes the keys to the T-bird, and now the boy and girl can have fun, fun, fun now that daddy took the T-bird away.”

“You’ve heard this before?”

“Nah. You are just a great storyteller is all.”

“Why, thank you.”

“Anytime.”

Friday John Ku – AKA – TGIF

July 10, 2020July 9, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 87 Comments

Twiggy and Lucy — “The Puma spots the unsuspecting water buffalo.”
“The water buffalo plays possum by pretending not to notice the foolish puma. Bring it on big cat.”
“Did you just say ‘cat?”‘

Another Friday and it is my guess that this week seemed long because last Friday was part of the weekend due to the holiday. Happy Friday. (woo woo)

Today starts at least seven days of above 100 degree temperatures. It seems a big ole high-pressure area is moving in from the west coast (where everything is high) and is going to be sitting over Texas for at least a week. For you non-weathercasters, what this means is no clouds, no rain, just pure sun hitting the Earth broadside. Being in the South, it just means HOT. There is no heat like Texas heat. With humidity, a hundred degrees feels like one hundred and ten. Egg fry on sidewalk time.

I just finished formatting my paper edition of Eternal Road – The last stop. Moving to the e-book edition next. Not sure when the cover concepts will arrive, but I have given the artist all the info to start the creative process. I am looking forward to the first concepts.

Texas is in a nosedive virus wise. People love to get together and swap droplets at their favorite bar or cookout. Some idiots have taken to not wearing masks and then being jerks to those who do. I have to wonder about some folks. As for me, I’m wearing mine when I go out. (Just to be clear I go out only when necessary)

Today’s John Ku talks about politics a bit. I hope you all have a safe and healthy weekend.

We know masks can help,

Keep the folks at risk safer . . .

So what’s the problem?

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy Outside

July 9, 2020July 9, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 109 Comments

“A beautiful Day, Lucy.”

“It is Little One. Looks like a day to relax outside.”

“Where you going?”

“Uh, just a little relax time in the sun.”

“You had plenty of relax time inside.”

“One can never get enough relax time. There’s always room for more.”

“I think I hear something over the fence.”

There’s nothing there Little Potato.”

“When’s the last time you did a bear check, huh?”

“I don’t remember. Maybe a couple of weeks ago.”

“A couple of weeks? That’s it I’m outta here.”

“I hate to break it to you but there hasn’t been a bear around here for years.”

“That doesn’t mean there couldn’t be a stray bear just looking for a meal.”

“For heaven’s sake. If a bear was looking for a meal you’d be the last menu choice.”

“And why would that be Ms. Smartie pants?”

“Bears are mostly vegetarian. Tough bulldog would be a last resort.”

“Okay, I can see that. What’s that buzzing sound.”

“Look up.”

“Oh my gosh, it’s a giant bee.”

“It’s a hummingbird. He sure is thirsty.”

“How can he fly? He has no wings?

“His wings are going so fast you can’t see them.”

“It’s amazing what you teach me, Lucy.”

“Aw. Anytime Little one. Anytime.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

July 8, 2020July 7, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day time again, and last week, we all held our breath as the Lieutenant allowed Lazar Popovic to make a call to his lawyer on his cell phone. We have all heard how a cell phone can be used as a detonator, so we had every right to be worried. What the lieutenant knew which we didn’t is if Popovic had some plan to blow up the place he would be taken out with everyone and everything else. So he made the call. The lieutenant put him in cuffs. The lieutenant’s officers are searching the place. I see a sergeant approaching the Lieutenant. Let’s go and hear what she has to say.

“Yes, sergeant.”

“We’ll have to get some lab work done, but my educated guess is this is cocaine.”

“How many of these bags did you find?”

“We don’t have an accurate count, but I would say North of one hundred kilos.”

“One hundred? OMG, we are talking close to three million dollars worth.”

“And that’s not all.”

“Talk to me.”

“We got pills. Boxes and boxes of uppers, downers, and everything in between.”

“So, this is a major distribution center.”

“Looks like it.”

“Hear that Mr. Popovic. We have a charge of felony drug distribution. I’m going to wager no judge in his right mind is going to let you bail out on this charge.”

“I’m just a businessman, lieutenant. I don’t know anything about what you are talking about. “

“So, you were just in the neighborhood when we pulled a raid. huh?”

“You said it, not me.”

“Larry and Andrew. We got a lot of evidence here. I don’t think this guy is going to be doing any more contracts for a while.”

“Good to know, lieutenant.”

“Contracts? What are you talking about?”

“Hush up, Mr. Popovic. You can talk all you want when we see your lawyer down at the lockup.”

“But wait. You are thinking that I had a contract on someone.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what we are thinking.”

“Who are you?”

“Name’s Dunfee from Boston. I’m sure you have heard that name before.”

“Can’t say that I have. What are a couple of Boston dicks doing here?”

“Excuse me, Mr. Popovic, but I think you have the question sequence a little out of order.”

“All I know lieutenant is someone has set me up, and I have a strong feeling who. I never ordered a contract on anyone in my life. So good luck in trying to blame me.”

“Okay, I hate to break up this little love fest but we need to get to the lock-up. Larry, you and Andrew can ride with me. The sergeant can take Mr. Popovic to the lock-up along with all these characters.”

“Yes, sir. I called for a van. It should be here any minute.”

“Thanks, sergeant. We’ll see you there then. Book all these guys on felony drug charges.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And, sergeant.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Make sure we have continued chain of custody of the evidence. This is going to be a big case, and I don’t want a technicality to screw it up.”

“The lab folks have signed for it, sir. They are packing it up even as we speak.”

“Very good. Come on, guys we need to get back to headquarters.”

“Right behind you, Lieutenant.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #270 by Keith Channing

July 7, 2020July 6, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #270

“Hey, boss.”

“Yeah. What is it?”

“Can you give me a boost up there with you?”

“I’m not staying up here. I’m coming down.”

“What are you doing up there in the first place?”

“Not that you would be interested I was just seeing how much room we had on top.”

“How much room? Why?”

“Well, the Mother in Law is coming for a visit, and we need a place for her to stay.”

“Please don’t tell me you were going to put her on the roof.”

“I was thinking we could put up a tent. It would be pretty comfortable.”

“How’s she going to get up there?”

“Just like me. Climb the ladder.”

“You can’t be serious?”

“Well, we are running out of room inside. I am just exploring the options.”

“Seems like a foolhardy idea.”

“This coming from a dog who chases cars.”

“I don’t chase them. I just bark at them.”

“Whatever. The point is we need to make room in the camper.”

“But to have that poor old lady struggle up the ladder to a hot mosquito-filled tent just seems cruel.”

“Maybe you would like to take her place.”

“She seems pretty fit. I think the ladder and tent will be a good solution for her. When’s dinner?’

“As soon as I get down.”

“Want me to catch you?”

“That’s okay. I can do it myself.”

Tips To Succeed On a Video Interview

July 6, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 10 Comments

I am at Story Empire today and giving some tips on how to do video and YouTube presentations a little better. Come visit.

Story Empire

Hello, SEers. As you can see, today we are going to talk about the best foot forward position should you get the opportunity to do a video interview or presentation on YouTube or elsewhere. Before getting into the tips, let’s set the stage. You are launching a new book, and you get a call from someone wanting to know if you would like to do a video interview. Does your heart freeze? Do your palms turn to fountains and your stomach to a butterfly storage unit? If so, then you have come to the right place. There is no need for any of these feelings if you remember the tips I’m going to share.

The tips fall under one of four areas Light, Sound, Material, and Delivery. Let’s take them one at a time.

Light – I’m sure you have seen videos where you almost believe the recording is…

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Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First MLB All-Star Game in 1933

July 6, 2020July 5, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 89 Comments

Comiskey Park

Today marks the anniversary of the first major league baseball all-star game. It was held in Comiskey Park in Chicago on July 6th, 1933. For all you baseball lovers who have not been able to enjoy the game since the pandemic started, please come along to this fateful day. Don’t forget to take this list with you since it may help you from making a time travel faux pas that could result in a tear in the time continuum.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First MLB All-Star Game in 1933.

10 If you go, do not complain about the choice of players. If you do, at best, you’ll be ignored. At worst, you’ll be overheard by Arch Ward, the sportswriter for the Chicago Tribune, who organized the event. (The problem with your complaint, Linwood is the players were selected by the fans from fifty cities across the country. Arch Ward set the whole thing up, including fan voting, and if looks could kill, you would be on a cold slab right now.)

9 If you go, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ if he can get an autograph of some of the players for you. If you do, at best, Tiny will be busy signing autographs himself. At worst, Tiny has been standing around for hours, and no one has asked for his autograph. (You must understand, Livingston, Tiny is the first client to ever be expelled from the self-worth seminar as a hopeless case. This was not a good time to ask for a favor. Go ahead and ask Tiny if he wouldn’t mind not standing on your foot. I know his breath is hot but you could at least ask.)

8 If you go, do not ask about the National League uniforms. If you do, at best, no one will know what you are talking about. At worst, they will wonder why you are asking. (You see, Llwyd only you know that except for this first all-star game all the players show up in their home team uniforms. So seeing the National League in specially made gray uniforms and navy blue caps was a surprise. )

7 If you go, do not wonder aloud how many of the players present will end up in the baseball hall of fame. If you do, at best, the person hearing you will think you are drunk. At worst, you will be wondering aloud to Kenesaw Mountain Landis, the commissioner of baseball. (Landis will, of course, tell you immediately to mind your own business, Lochlann. For the sake of history, the answer to your question is twenty of the 36 players have been inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Better look out, Landis is talking to Babe Ruth and pointing at you.)

6 If you go, do not ask for a box seat. If you do, at best, the ticket agent will ask for your reservation. At worst, you’ll be told that the box seats are for celebrities and the rich only. (The box seat costs $1.65, Lootah. Not too many could pay that kind of money during the depression. That would be $31.36 in 2020.)

5 If you go, do not complain about your Cracker Jack prize. If you do, at best, the concession person will give you sympathy. At worst, the stadium manager will toss you out. (In 1933, Loren the Cracker Jack company switched the prize selection to almost exclusively toys. The outside of the box is marked “Toy inside.” There are no rings or other household items in the box any longer. The Stadium manager threatened to toss the third person who complained. The second just walked away.)

4 If you go, do not forget to get a program. If you do, at best, there will be one on the ground. At worst, you’ll miss out on the opportunity to have such stars as Babe Ruth, Lefty Grove, Jimmy Foxx, Lou Gehrig, Al Simmons, and Joe Cronin sign your program. (Not to mention even unsigned the original program goes for $379.00, Loring)

3 If you go, do not ask where you can get an autographed ball. If you do, at best, no one will know. At worst, Arch Ward will wonder how you found out about the balls. (Before the game Arch had sixty balls autographed by the players, and then he gifted them to special friends of major league baseball. He is now wondering how you found out, Lothair. That ball is for sale today at $14,999.00)

2 If you go, do not mention that the all-star game is an annual event called “Midsummer Classic.” If you do, at best folks will think the sun got to you. At worst, Arch Ward will think you are trying to steal his idea. (I think I would tread lightly around Arch, Loughlin. He seems rather sensitive about his event. I don’t think it is an accident that he is talking to that big security guard and looking over here.)

1 If you go, don’t forget to congratulate the winners. If you do, at best no one will notice. At worse, the American league will think you are a sore loser. (The American League won the first all-star game 4 to 2 in front of 47, 595 fans. I’m sure they would appreciate your congratulations, Lowell.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Things in the Front Yard

July 5, 2020July 4, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 83 Comments

Today on our walk around the neighborhood, we are going to see things that are in front yards. Okay, not so exciting, but maybe you’ll see something that you will like. Get your mask since the Saharan dust is still here. If you’d rather stay, help yourself to the sangria and crostinis.

Our first item is a wind thingy. When the wind blows, those butterflies spin in opposite directions. Yes, it is turning so a little blurry.

We are at the purple house, and in their front yard is a metal cactus surrounded by pinwheels. Fun stuff.

Here is a statement of the beliefs of the folks in this home.

A happy event announcement in this front yard.

Looks like a comfortable sitting place. Why the front yard? It could be a case of FOMO. My guess is Fido joins the couch crowd too.

Another wind thingy. This one rotates on its axis.

A deer family in the front yard of this house.

A classic Mid Century Modern lawnchair.

Can’t tell you what this is. Driftwood rocks and a Texas state paver.

I had to get a shot of this magnificent pink crape myrtle.

I thought this was a cute Fourth of July display. Twiggy loves this strip of lawn.

Uh-oh. A dumpster in the front yard isn’t always the best of news. We’ll have to see if it is a remodel or a repair.

It is early voting time in Texas, so there are a few campaign signs. Too bad, Jennifer can’t help with those weeds in the gravel.

There you have it. Let’s get back and see if there are any sangria and crostinis left. Thanks for walking with me today. I hope you have a great week.