Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Launch of Twitter in 2006

 

Top Ten Things Not to DO

Twitter Logo History

This week marks the 14th anniversary of the launch of Twitter. Although most of us are probably Twitter users today, it might be fun to go back and take in the sights and sounds of that first occasion. As always, take this list, so you don’t inadvertently cause a tear in the time continuum.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Launch of Twitter in 2006 by John W. Howell Β© 2020

10 If you go, do not mention iTunes to co-founder Evan Williams. If you do, at best he’ll be talking to someone else and miss the reference. At worst, you’ll get the Silicon Valley version of the stink eye. (You probably forgot, Loyal that when iTunes launched in 2005 Apple put Willaims’s podcasting business out of business. I think he is going to follow that stink eye with a black eye. It will be yours, of course.)

9 If you go, do not send Tiny the WWF champ any Twitter messages that contain abbreviations. If you do, at best, Tiny won’t have his phone turned on. At worst, he will become confused as to what you are saying. (You have to know, Lucan that a confused Tiny is a dangerous Tiny. Oh look, he has adopted his sumo wrestler stance. It could be he thinks LOL means Lay on Lucan)

8 If you go, do not correct the spelling of the service which was launched as Twttr. If you do, at best folks will think it’s a joke. At worst, Noah Glass a co-founder, and the one who came up with the name, Twitter, will think you stole his idea. (It looks like ole Noah has spent some time in the gym. I’m not sure you want to spar with him, Ludlow.)

7 If you go, do not ask to send the first tweet. If you do, at best, you’ll be ignored. At worst, Jack Dorsey, the engineer who came up with the concept, will not like you. (In case you didn’t know, Ludwik Jack was the first to send a tweet under his handle @jack. He sent the message, “Just setting up my twttr.” Now that he is finished, it looks like he is picking out a hammer from that table of tools. I wonder what he wants to do with that hammer?”

6 If you go, do not pull out your iPhone to send a tweet. If you do, at best everyone will be busy with setting up their own accounts and not notice. At worst, Evan Willians will spot your phone. (Since the iPhone was launched a year after Twitter, Luis, Evan will no doubt think you are from another planet. That won’t stop him from wanting your phone. Looks like he is borrowing Jack Dorsey’s hammer.)

5 If you go, do not tell Evan that you think he should allow more than 140 characters in a tweet. If you do, at best, Evan will think you are an idiot. At worst, Evan will wonder why you are making this suggestion. (You see, Lukman at the time of the Twitter launch SMS messages were limited to 140 characters. Once that limit was lifted, Twitter still hung on to 140 characters until 2017. Evan is heading over to tell you to mind your own business.)

4 If you go, do not ask if you can buy some stock. If you do, at best everyone will get a big laugh. At worst, Evan Williams will think you have been reading his private e-mails. (He does plan to take the company public, Luthais but not until there are more users. He waits until 2013 when there are 200 million subscribers and then offers stock at $29.00. The stock closed that first day at $44.90. Last Friday, it was worth $35.40. The company itself is estimated to be worth $31 Billion.)

3 If you go, do not try to describe Donald Trump’s use. If you do, At best, no one will take you serious. At worst, Evan Williams will want to know where you get your information. (Now you have completely blown your cover, Lyaksandro. Right now, the idea of Donald Trump even running for president, makes the average person laugh out loud. Good luck in getting out of this mess.)

2 If you go, do not tell Evan Williams that he will step away from Twitter in 2019. If you do, At best he won’t believe you. At worst, he will accuse you of working for Mark Zuckerberg at Facebook. (Of course, Lycus eventually Evan will leave Twitter to pursue other interests. Jack Dorsey will take over as CEO. We shouldn’t feel too sorry for Evan as he is worth $1.8 billion)

1 If you go, do not ask about privacy on Twitter. If you do, At best no one will know what you are talking about. At worst, Jack Dorsey will wonder what is driving your question. (Once he understands that you are wondering about selling user data, Lynn he is going to wonder where you got such an idea. I think it’s time to hit the way back button and head home. You will leave all there people scratching their heads.)

84 comments

  1. Funny to think of Twitter as part of history. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know right? I wanted to throw this one in since most of us can identity with it. Thanks, Darlene.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. For some reason it seems like Twitter’s been around longer than that, John.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That was exactly my thought, Jill!

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Same here! I thought it had been around much longer.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Me too. Someties we need to pause and take a look at this changing world. Twitter is quite a story for sure. Thanks, Teri.

        Liked by 1 person

    3. Doesn’t it. I was a little surprised when I looked at the founding date. Thanks, Jill.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t know. World might be a better place without Twitter.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. At the very least, the world would be a lot more productive without Twitter!

      Liked by 2 people

    2. When I look at the nasty tweets in “Trending,” I have to agree with you. Those people are like animals.

      Like

      1. Yup. Seems to be a hateful thing going wild every morning.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I can’t stand going there. There is more hate per square inch then anywhere on Earth.

        Liked by 2 people

  4. I had a good laugh at #3. Who would have thought that would become reality?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Unfortunately, I was one who didn’t take Trump’s run for the presidency seriously. I’m not laughing now.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I don’t think many are, Liz. 😦

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I really didn’t think anyone would vote for, much less elect, such a buffoon.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Not me for sure. Thanks, Mark. 😁

      Like

  5. Don’t know a thing here, John. I’m not a Twitter person, so – no clue.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s okay. We need sane people like you to keep a balance. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. hahaha, let me in on it… how did I con you into believing that?!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That you were sane? Um. Now that you mention it I think I took a leap of faith. But it’s okay just let me live in my own little world of beliefs. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Don’t worry – I’ve been tested.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Ok, I might do 8 or 9 of these, John. I don’t want to return bruised and black-eye’d. Maybe I’ll wait until the iPhone launches.

    Good job.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very wise, Dan. I think you should stick close to me on the next adventure. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always – avoiding Tiny.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Big objective.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. If you do go, you might ask for an edit button. Maybe if we’d asked nicely in the beginning, we could have gotten one.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I know right? Big fights between Williams and Glass until finally Glass was fired. I wonder if the edit idea would have survived all that? Thanks, Linda.

      Like

  8. Gwen M. Plano · · Reply

    Great list, John. I’ve never read a Trump tweet, but I’ve hardly read any tweets except those by writers. It seems more a marketing tool than a means to socialize.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. THere is a whole mass of folks who use Twitter to stay in touch. It blows my mind sometimes. Thanks, Gwen. (It you want to see how some behave, just visit “Trending” and witness mob behavior. 😁 Thanks for the comment.

      Like

  9. It makes 2006 sound like a long, long time ago. Well done, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was long ago on the technology curve.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  10. I often wonder why I let my son Domer convince me to get on Twitter. It’s not been much use to me in promoting my book, I believe I’m followed by a bucket-load of bots, and the anger and venom being spewed is enough to make me run for the hills! Well done, my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. Twitter is definately a mixed bag for sure.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. The party planners must have missed the idea that a few bottles of Evan Williams bourbon might be a nice touch.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah and at $12.00 bucks a bottle they could supply plenty.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. It’s amazing that it is already fourteen years (though seems like so much longer lately). Who could ever have imagined the number of fights that have gone on since? I admit I am rather dull on the Twitter feed – just share my posts and those of the bloggers I admire. An Instagram pic and an occasional exchange.
    I do know it is a great forum for writers – once you hack at the crap that trends!
    Excellent list, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it is a great forum for the nut cases of the world. Thanks, Dale.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. And we can name a few, can’t we?
        πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  13. I haven’t ventured into the wonderful world of tweeting, John, but #3 made me laugh and shake my head. I’ll stop there. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are lucky to stay away. Thanks, Lauren.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think so, too, John. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  14. All good things NOT to do, John. I began tweeting in 2013 and I still have no idea if it has helped me sell a single book. It is a good place to rant, however.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t believe I have ever sold a book as a result of tweeting. Thanks, Ron

      Like

  15. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    Wow, 14 years of Twitter. I had an account when it first came out but never used it until more recently.

    Like

    1. Thank you, Denise. Sorry but I found this in Spam.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. D.L. Finn, Author · ·

        No problem! I always forget to check my spam:)

        Liked by 1 person

  16. A funny list, John. I especially love number three. Could you imagine future kids reading about President Trump and his antics on Twitter?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hoefully the history books will leave that chapter out. Thnaks, Vashti.

      Like

  17. Poor ol’ Evan, Fancy only being worth $1.8 billion. Tsk … how will he survive? πŸ™„ Still laughing. Great post as always, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You know a billion doesn’t go as far as it used to, Soooz. Hahahahaha.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know, right? I mean I lose sleep over it. 😏

        Liked by 1 person

      2. πŸ™„

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Mon Dieu, dear John! It seems it has been another epoch! One of the reason why I have stopped using this net-place is the old meaning of this word. I wonder that people are still using it. Thank you! Happy days of first twits! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes people are still using it, Maria. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I say! How odd, dear John! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  19. But maybe you CAN mention the fact that Twitter saves many ‘journalists’ from actually needing to write a story, when all they really need to do is copy and paste a few Twitter exchanges. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha. Good one, Marc. You are right. Hang out at the outdoor bar. Check POTUS’s Twitter account and go from there.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hanging at the outdoor bar, you don’t have to tell me twice, LOL

        Ugh . . I fear that thing. I really do.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahaha. Yes put the POTUS Twitter account.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You’re an instigator.

        Like

      4. I meant to say pull the POTUS Twitter account.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yes please!

        Liked by 1 person

  20. Wow, look at all those changes in the logo! Good research for this, John! Isn’t Twitter a phenomenon, though? I would have never predicted that it would take off at all. It sounds so preposterous LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It does sound like something that wouldn’t work. Thanks, Luanne.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Reblogged this on Author Don Massenzio and commented:
    It’s another great top ten list from John Howell via his Fiction Favorites blog. This one is titled: TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO DO AT THE LAUNCH OF TWITTER IN 2006

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Don

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome.

        Liked by 1 person

  22. It’s completely changed from how it used to be used, I’m not sure the extra characters were a good idea, people used to like retweeting each other’s posts and liking posts, it used to be friendly, but now it seems people don’t like to be seen liking posts.Β§ Attacking groups and pack hatred is a big concern which is why I steer away from trends.

    I like your motivation tweets when I see them, twitter doesn’t share very much now either.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I run those tweets on Monday and Wednesday. Of course in a sea of tweets they could get lost I suppose. I agree on the trending. It used to be such a nice thing to look at. I like your term pack hatred. That is so true.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Only 1-2% of followers see my weekly tweet I don’t think twitter show everyone anymore, they used to.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Maybe they are like Facebook and are limiting exposure.

        Liked by 1 person

  23. Thanks a lot, John. You got me going down the rabbit hole researching Twitter. Just came back up for some air. It seems Noah Glass got a raw deal. Here’s an interview with him from 2011:

    https://www.businessinsider.com/twitter-cofounder-noah-glass-2011-4

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for this. He was finally recognized in 2013 by Evan Williams as the co-founder of Twitter. His Twitter feed carries the “co-founder” designation.

      Liked by 1 person

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