Sister Award Is as Sister Award Does

December 7, 2013 ~ John W. Howell ~ 27 Comments

I was nominated by Shaun Gibson of Praying for One Day for (get this) Sisterhood-of-the-world Bloggers Award. If you think I am kidding you can click here and read for yourself. http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/11/17/sisterhood-of-the-world-bloggers-award-2/

I have to believe the nomination was in recognition of my love and respect for all the sisters in the blogosphere. I certainly hope it is not because I have the appearance or demeanor of a sister. I don’t even own a habit (I have a few maybe, but none that are worn) and as for the VOW (you know which one) Moohaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…….ahem. Well anyway, I told Shaun I would accept the award on behalf of all the beautiful sisters who write their hearts out and who I enjoy.

The rules for receiving this award are as follows.

1. Provide a link and thank the blogger who nominated you for this award. (Done)
2. Answer 10 questions. (See below)
3. Nominate 10/12 blogs that you find a joy to read. (Last thing on the page)
4. Provide links to these nominated blogs and kindly let the recipients know that they have been nominated. (Will do)
5. Include the award logo within your blog post. (Look to the right)

Answers to the 10 Questions:

1. Your favorite color – On my lips I like neutral. On the wall and on a car, grey
2. Your favorite animal – I have to think a little. The cat has a great place in my heart, but dogs have a close spot too. So there is a difficult choice and I choose the pig.
3. Your favorite non-alcoholic drink – Mix of lemonade and ice tea. An Arnie Palmer.
4. Facebook or Twitter – I do not understand Facebook so I’ll have to say Twitter
5. Your favorite pattern – I think it is the wide receivers down and cross right and left.
6. Do you prefer getting or giving presents? – I love to give presents
7. Your favorite number? – Ten Thousand (just sounds like a lot)
8. Your favorite day of the week? – Friday since I still like the work week to end although it never does.
9. Your favorite flower? – I have to say Bird of Paradise
10. What is your passion? – To begin and finish each day as if it were my last.

I now Nominate 12 (Couldn’t do just ten) bloggers to join me in the Sisterhood of Bloggers!!!!!

I am returning to tradition and nominating all sisters. I would like to nominate everyone but space won’t allow. Here are my nominations:

Across the Globe with Issue Five.

December 6, 2013 ~ John W. Howell

Issue Five of the Paperbook Collective is now available. (I have a story starting on page 17)

The Paperbook Blog

Well, here it is folks.

Despite the world’s best efforts, Issue Five of The Paperbook Collective is here for your viewing pleasure!

Without further ado…

THE DECEMBER ISSUE!

PDF ~

The Paperbook Collective Issue Five 2013

ISSUU ~

The Paperbook Collective Issue Five 2013

_______________________________________________

It has been an absolute honour and a privilege, once again, to be entrusted with the publishing of such incredible work.

I am continually amazed at the diversity of work that is submitted each month, no two pieces are the least alike. It has been wonderful to see how people have interpreted the ‘Culture’ theme, I have had a fascinating insight into some incredible cultural phenomenon’s across the globe.

It has been quite a difficult week for me over here in my little corner of the globe, but I am thrilled to finally publish the very last issue of The Paperbook Collective for 2013.

To…

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The Paperbook Collective

December 6, 2013 ~ John W. Howell ~ 2 Comments

Marie did a nice write up of the Paperbook Collective. This is an “aw shucks” moment.

Marie at 1 Write Way

Recently good friend and fellow blogger John W. Howell had a short story published in an online zine, The Paperbook Collective. (Okay, it was back in August, but at my age, it feels just like yesterday.) I was intrigued by the old-fashioned typeface used in the zine and the seemingly quirky personality of its creator (she made a Christmas out of books). So I decided to purchase a copy of the issue. Here’s what I got in the mail, all the way from Australia.

I encourage all my readers to immediately head over to The Paperback Collective and start perusing the past and current issues. Even better, click here and purchase hard copies of The Paperbook Collective and support Jayde Ashe in her effort to publish good writing and art work.

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Liar Is as Liar Does – Results

December 6, 2013 ~ John W. Howell ~ 17 Comments

Well it is time for Five Truths and a Lie the results section. To review I told a lie on Wednesday and five truths. You can go here to review: http://wp.me/p2Qoij-TH

Here are three of the six stories and the results of the three:

Story Number One. As a young boy growing up in the city of Detroit I was chosen along with five of my class mates to appear on TV in a local version of “Quiz Kids.” The competition was fierce, but our team did not win the event. We rang the buzzer too slowly and did not get to answer the final question which was a tiebreaker. The story is TRUE

It was heartbreaker. The buzzer was being covered by one of the bigger kids. For some reason his brain went off to Wyoming when it came time to hit the buzzer. The girl sitting next to him finally pounded his hand to buzz in. The only way we could win would be if the other team failed to answer the question. Fat chance of them missing since the question was one that everyone on the planet could answer. “How do you detect the presence of starch in food?” The answer, “add iodine.” Sheesh.

Story Number Two. I earned the Eagle Scout award when I was younger than the minimum age limit. I went to scout camp in the summer after the award was finally made. One of the councilors challenged my authorization to wear the award patch on my uniform since he thought I was too young. I demonstrated my ability by organizing a raid on his bunk which resulted in him hanging, wrapped, and upside down in a large a tree. The troop settled for ice cream in exchange for cutting him down. The Story is TRUE

The councilor told my mom he had the greatest time ever. My mom was not pleased with the story. Since not being pleased was becoming a full-time condition, it all blew over. I still chuckle at the vision of the mummy-like figure slowly twisting in the wind calling for help.

Story Number Three. While in high school the family moved out of the inner city into the suburbs. As a sophomore it was difficult to make friends especially since I was more city type (black Levis, t-shirt and jacket) versus the suburban type. (Khaki slacks and button downs) There were a number of social and service clubs I was interested in joining. One after the other I was told membership was filled. Since all applications and rejections were reviewed by the school administration, I was called into the counselor’s office and asked if there were any of these applications that needed to be forced. (Laws required nondiscrimination) I told him that I really didn’t want to join these anyway. He suspected I was lying, (which I was) but could do nothing more. I figured being forced would cause more harm than good. Long story short, I founded a club that had over one hundred members and became one of the most popular. In fact it was so popular that had I not founded it I probably wouldn’t have been a member. The story is TRUE

I found five people who would talk to me and organized them into a service club. We did some good deeds and word got around. We also had some academic chops so we attracted some BMOC’s for the tutorial help. As the club matured we also got into some serious party-time fun. The school suspended the club for a term for having too much fun. Membership exploded.

The rest on Sunday. Have a great Friday.

Liar Is as Liar Does

December 4, 2013November 29, 2013 ~ John W. Howell ~ 37 Comments

I read and tried to guess which was which when Aussa Lorens on 22 November 2013 posted five truths and a lie. I was wrong with my guess on which one was truth in her life. I did have to admit after the process the truth is stranger than fiction. In the course of commenting back and forth Aussa asked when I was going to do one. I told her I had to set it up and it might take months. I was lying of course since it is here today Wednesday.

Here is how it works. I will tell six stories about myself and one of them is a bald face lie. If you choose to play you can guess which one is the lie. The correct entries will be put into a giant hat and I will pull them out and publish your correctness on the results post. If no one responds I will just give the results and cry to myself in my lonely garret. I wanted to award a new car or boat, but right now I need to sell a million books to do that.

Story Number One.

As a young boy growing up in the city of Detroit I was chosen along with five of my class mates to appear on TV in a local version of Quiz Kids called . The competition was fierce, but our team did not win the event. We rang the buzzer too slowly and did not get to answer the final question which was a tiebreaker.

Story Number Two.

I earned the Eagle Scout award when I was younger than the minimum age limit. I went to scout camp in the summer after the award was finally made. One of the councilors challenged my authorization to wear the award patch on my uniform since he thought I was too young. I demonstrated my ability by organizing a raid on his bunk which resulted in him hanging, wrapped, and upside down in a large a tree. The troop settled for ice cream in exchange for cutting him down.

Story Number Three.

While in high school the family moved out of the inner city into the suburbs. As a sophomore it was difficult to make friends especially since I was more city type (black Levis, t-shirt and jacket) versus the suburban type. (Khaki slacks and button downs) There were a number of social and service clubs I was interested in joining. One after the other I was told membership was filled. Since all applications and rejections were reviewed by the school administration, I was called into the counselor’s office and asked if there were any of these applications that needed to be forced. (Laws required nondiscrimination) I told him that I really didn’t want to join these anyway. He suspected I was lying, (which I was) but could do nothing more. I figured being forced would cause more harm than good. Long story short, I founded a club that had over one hundred members and became one of the most popular. In fact it was so popular that had I not founded it I probably wouldn’t have been a member.

Story Number Four

I went off to college and believed I would make a good veterinarian. I loved animals and could not imagine a more worthy career. The first term in vet school found me up late at night babysitting a very sick goat. The goat needed surgery and the vet finished the task. My job was to walk the goat around so the anesthesia could be naturally dispersed. If the goat lay down it could ultimately suffer from a bloated condition that could be fatal. I walked the goat for more than eight hours and did some serious thinking. That night alone with the goat made me realize I was not really prepared to deal with life and death decisions over these gentle creatures. The goat did survive, but I decided to make a change. I changed majors at the end of the term.

Story Number Five

When I was getting ready to graduate from the university I began the process of interviewing for a job. A number of companies interviewed right at the school and so I signed up for about thirty or so. I was talking to a company which manufactured office furniture. All was going well until I complimented the person on the quality of their clocks. As can happen doing a number of interviews I had the wrong company. Their names were the same, but one did clocks and one did furniture. The furniture guy was not pleased to talk intelligently only to discover the person he thought would be right for the job was an idiot.

Story Number Six

I graduated from college and went to work for a famous consumer products company. (Yes I survived the interview process) My job was to introduce new products and maintain share of established brands in my assigned territory. I would visit grocery stores, drug stores, and mass merchants to represent the company brands. I worked diligently and was recruited away by another company. The observed presentation causing the recruiter to believe I was the right choice involved swallowing tic tacs telling the buyer before “if you don’t say yes to this order I have some cyanide I will need to take since my boss will kill me anyway.” It only worked from a humor point of view.

Okay which story is true and which is a lie. Let me know.

Top Ten No Nos Is as Top Ten No Nos Does

December 2, 2013November 29, 2013 ~ John W. Howell ~ 29 Comments

Here is the 22nd installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.

Top Ten Things Not to Do When Traveling with Dogs

10. If you are traveling with your dog by car, refrain from putting your pet in a pet taxi on the roof because there’s no room inside. At best, it will be a short trip once you realize that the laws of motion sickness dictate a downward flow over your windshield. At worst, given your heartless demeanor your family may decide to strap you to the car’s roof on the way home.

9. If you are traveling with your dog by car, avoid letting your dog drive, no matter how tired you may be and how good a driver you think he is. At best, your dog will insist on making frequent stops at every fire hydrant he sees. At worst, your dog will confuse the stop and go lights at intersections since they can’t distinguish between red and green, and you will wind up having to explain to your insurance company and the police how your unlicensed operator dog wound up in your driver’s seat with the keys in its paw.

8. If you are traveling with your dog by car, do not put your dog in the front passenger’s seat wearing sunglasses and clothes just so you can use the carpool lane. It doesn’t matter how much your dog might look like your spouse. Chances are you’ll be pulled over by a traffic cop who will then take a photo of your dog, put it up on Facebook tagged with your spouse’s name (which you were stupid enough to give), and you’ll have divorce papers or worse waiting for you when you get home.

7. If you are traveling with your dog and planning to stay at hotels, be sure the hotel will accommodate pets. A barking dog is bad enough in a pet-friendly hotel; but in a non-pet-friendly hotel, at best, you’ll be charged double for disturbing your neighbors. At worst, you and your dog may have to take shelter at a shelter.

6. If you are traveling with your dog and staying at a pet-friendly hotel, do not think that just because the hotel is pet friendly, everyone else is. At best, some guests may just asked to be removed from your immediate vicinity due to the incessant (but to your ears, endearing) yapping of your young pug. At worst, you and your dog may wind up like #7, taking shelter in a shelter.

5. If you are traveling with your dog by plane, don’t think that just because you taught Hugo, your Great Dane, how to roll up into a ball, you can claim him as carry-on baggage. At best, Hugo won’t fit under the seat and you’ll have his head in your lap for the whole flight. At worst, the airport won’t be deceived by your efforts and will have the TSA examine you for other hidden dogs.

4. If you are traveling with your dog by plane and your dog actually does fit into a soft carry-on bag, do not assume that the flight attendant will appreciate your frequent requests for water, doggie biscuits (because the ones you had on you were confiscated by TSA), or wee-wee pads. At best, the flight attendant might simply douse you with water and suggest that your dog lick it off you. At worst, the attendant will be so smitten with your Pomeranian and its pink bow, she will offer to take her to the galley to feed her and that will be the last you see of either the attendant or your dog.

3. If you are traveling with your dog by train, do not think that all the other passengers will find it entertaining if you let your dog run up and down the length of the train car for exercise. At best, your dog might get tired from all the running and you won’t be able to coax him off the train when you reach your destination. At worst, you might find both of you dumped off at the next station, hundreds of miles from your destination as the Siberian winter sets in.

2. If you want to take a cruise with your dog, do not try to pass your dog off as a service animal in order to sidestep the cruise line’s no pet policy. While your dog might do quite well at acting the part of a service animal, chances are you will forget which disability you chose. At best, cruise line staff might start following you around, suspicious that at one moment you claim to be deaf and the next you’re singing along to music from your iPod. At worst, you might find yourself set in a dinghy tethered to the stern of the ship, while your dog gets to stay on board and play with the cruise line staff for the rest of the trip.

1. If you are traveling with your dog on a pet-friendly cruise line, take precautions to make sure the cruise line stays pet-friendly. For example, do not allow your dog to jump into the pool with the other passengers just because your dog loves to swim. At best, you’ll be made to clean the pool by yourself. At worst, you may find yourself taking a swim that is a bit longer than across the pool.

Friday Catcher is as Friday Catcher Does

November 29, 2013November 22, 2013 ~ John W. Howell ~ 14 Comments

Friday at last. Last week I published a story about the Friday Catcher. You can read it here: wp.me/p2Qoij-RX

A few comments lead me to come back to the story since none of us could figure out where time goes. Last Friday’s story had a character’s wife calling on Wednesday to find out where her husband was since he had disappeared. The supplier of the Friday Catcher (allows the user to wake up the next day and it is Friday) has no idea where the husband went. He quoted the old “where does the time go?” to try to explain. He told the wife he will be back Friday. The wife left the line.

Today’s story is from the POV of the user of the Friday Catcher. The idea is to explain where he went from the time he went to sleep Tuesday night to Friday.

“Excuse me sir.”

“Yes son.”

“Can you tell me where we are? It looks like my town, but there is no one here.”

“Yeah it’s probably your town all right.”

“Where is everyone?”

“You used the Friday Catcher right?”

“Y-Yes I did. It sure didn’t work though. I was supposed to get up and it would be Friday morning.”

“Yeah that sounds like the way it was supposed to work.”

“So what’s the deal?”

“My name is Richard, What’s yours?”

“Robert, Go by Bobby though.”

“You from the south?”

“Yeah. How did you know?”

“Everyone adds a y to their name there.”

“Never thought about it before, but seems right to me. Where you from?”

“California.”

“California? What you doing in Texas?”

“I have been asking myself since nineteen ninety-four. I was in New York when someone hung that Friday Catcher above my bed.”

“Ninety four? Who hung the Friday Catcher?”

“One of the nurses.”

“Wait a minute. You were sick.”

“Boy you can say that again. Your president was a sick as hell. I must add I am not a crook.”

“My president? I could not place your face until now. Are you telling me you are Richard Nixon?”

“I prefer Richard Milhous Nixon.”

“Oh man. I am in real trouble.”

“Been there. Got the shirt.”

Have a great weekend y’all

Turkey Day is as Turkey Day Does

November 28, 2013November 27, 2013 ~ John W. Howell ~ 20 Comments

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL !!!!!!!

Thanksgiving Eve is as Thanksgiving Eve Does

November 27, 2013November 22, 2013 ~ John W. Howell ~ 25 Comments

Thanksgiving

Wednesday seems to come quicker every week. I guess that is a good thing considering it is the first time in the week we think about being able to make the weekend. This week is kind of special in it is Thanksgiving Eve. I’m not sure anyone really thinks of a particular day in this manner. Hey, it is better than just letting the day before Thanksgiving go by without notice. In honor of Thanksgiving Eve I’m going to tell a little story on Fiction Favorites about “The Night before Thanksgiving.” Before I start, I need to set the mood. Ready? Okay here goes; a nice fire is in the fireplace, cats, dogs, kids and family gathered around. Cranberry scone and a mug of hot pumpkin spice toddy (give me some slack, this is fiction) is in your hand. The CD player is set up with one-hundred of your favorite Thanksgiving songs and the soft Thanksgiving lights are twinkling on the Thanksgiving tree. I think we are there. Here is the story:

The night before Thanksgiving,

All around the place.

The family has gathered,

In every inch of space.

The turkey is soaking,

To thaw in water base.

The drinks, food are bought,

Stored, guarded by mace.

Teenagers seem quiet,

New games of face?

Mother-in–law has advice,

Need a fly to chase.

Dad in the cups,

Never liked that vase.

Sis is complaining,

Husband left, no trace.

Still it’s good,

Thanksgiving embrace.

Happy Thanksgiving y’all.

Cover Reveal Is as Cover Reveal Does

November 25, 2013November 11, 2013 ~ John W. Howell ~ 10 Comments

Cover by Jason Pedersen http://www.jasonpedersen.com/

The epic adventures of Luke Callindor and Nyx continue after their journey down the L’Dandrin River in Legends of Windemere: Prodigy of Rainbow Tower.

Reeling from his failures in their previous adventure, Luke leads his surviving friends to his hometown. With his mind frayed and his confidence fractured, Luke must face the family and fiancée he left behind. It is a brief homecoming when the vampire Kalam attacks the village, forcing Luke and Nyx to break into his lair for the key to resurrecting a fallen warrior. It is a quest that will force both young heroes to reach new heights of strength and power that they never knew they had.

Can Luke and Nyx escape the lair of Kalam? And, what role will the orphaned gypsy Sari play in their looming destiny?

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles Yallowitz was born and raised on Long Island, NY, but he has spent most of his life wandering his own imagination in a blissful haze. Occasionally, he would return from this world for the necessities such as food, showers, and Saturday morning cartoons. One day he returned from his imagination and decided he would share his stories with the world. After his wife decided that she was tired of hearing the same stories repeatedly, she convinced him that it would make more sense to follow his dream of being a fantasy author. So, locked within the house under orders to shut up and get to work, Charles brings you Legends of Windemere. He looks forward to sharing all of his stories with you and his wife is happy he finally has someone else to play with.

Release Date– December 1st.

Previous–

Beginning of a Hero- http://www.amazon.com/Beginning-Hero-Legends-Windemere-ebook/dp/B00BL9GBU2/

Prodigy of Rainbow Tower- http://www.amazon.com/Prodigy-Rainbow-Legends-Windemere-ebook/dp/B00E8WUD5S/