Travel is as Travel Does

April 9, 2013April 9, 2013 ~ John W. Howell ~ 7 Comments

I was reminded by the WordPress elves that I have received 500”likes” from you lovely people as of last Friday. I just want to thank you all for taking the time to signal an approving gesture and will take these approvals as a vote to continue along the same path. If you have an opinion that is contrary please express it. *silence* Okay well I guess I will continue along the same path.

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I was wondering the other day if there was such a thing as a top ten list of literary cities. The reason for this wonder? I wanted to publish an informal travel suggestion (since summer is almost here) for those who want to take in the sights and sounds of places that have some fiction favorites literary interest as well as the obvious destination appeal. Well…I went to my trusty Google search machine and came up with the Top Ten Literary cities according to National Geographic Traveler writers. I am telling you there is nothing we can’t find in this wide digital universe. So without further ado; *drumroll* *cymbal* *rim shot* here they are directly from the September 2011 issue of National Geographic Traveler magazine and I quote:

Edinburgh, Scotland

It’s practically mandatory that visitors to Edinburgh travel by the book. The atmospheric city—which has inspired more than 500 novels—passionately keeps its written tradition alive, from the verse of 18th-century bard Robert Burns (who even merits an iPhone app) to the works of modern-day writers like Ian Rankin and Alexander McCall Smith. On tap are two different pub crawls, a walking tour, and excursions specific to Rankin’s Inspector Rebus and Irvine Welsh’s Trainspotting.

If you’re short on time, head straight to the Writers’ Museum located in a 17th-century building reached by a narrow stone passageway. Exhibits are devoted to a powerhouse literary trio: Burns, Sir Walter Scott, and Robert Louis Stevenson. For more adventures in Edinburgh and beyond, VisitScotland.com offers “A Traveller’s Guide to Literary Scotland.”

Dublin, Ireland

In the Irish capital, the written word is as celebrated as a pint of Guinness. Join the revelry on the Dublin Literary Pub Crawl as spirited actor-guides serve up entertaining facts in taverns where James Joyce and other scribes sought sustenance and found inspiration. Follow famed Joycean character Leopold Bloom through the city with VisitDublin.com’s “In the Steps of Ulysses” self-guided tour (audio or print).

The Dublin Writers Museum celebrates the spectrum of the country’s literary heritage, beginning with its roots in Irish poetry and Celtic storytelling. The Abbey Theatre, founded by poet W.B. Yeats in 1903, is still going strong with productions by classic and contemporary playwrights. Don’t leave town without being dazzled by the Book of Kells, an illuminated manuscript from the Middle Ages housed in the Old Library at Trinity College.

London, England

Listing London’s literary-related sites and pastimes could fill a book even lengthier than Harry Potter’s seven wizardly adventures combined. For starters, get out and about on one of London Walks’ lively jaunts. More than a hundred are offered every week, among them Shakespeare’s and Dickens’ London and the Literary London Pub Walk. Be sure to get an up-close look at the Bard’s First Folio at the British Library, unusual in that its literary gems are on display and not tucked away in a vault.

For Sherlock Holmes fans, VisitLondon.com has an itinerary for following in the sleuth’s footsteps. If your style is more suave James Bond, stop by Dukes Bar, where the martinis inspired Ian Fleming to make it 007’s signature drink. Before strolling the city’s streets, download the Get London Reading app, or check out the interactive map version, featuring more than 400 books associated with specific locales around town.

Paris, France

Pucker up and leave a lipstick print on Oscar Wilde’s tomb in Père-Lachaise Cemetery. The Irish playwright, whose grave is a magnet for zealous mourners, was one of many expatriate writers who sought inspiration and joie de vivre in the City of Light. Would-be Hemingways can polish up their own masterpieces at a sidewalk table at Les Deux Magots, a St. Germain café he frequented, or explore the literary side of the Latin Quarter, his onetime home, with Paris Walks.

French writers, though, have pride of place here with house-museums devoted to Victor Hugo and Honoré de Balzac. Bibliophiles will feel right at home at the hotel Le Pavillon des Lettres, where each of the 26 rooms is dedicated to a letter of the alphabet and represents a famous writer.

St. Petersburg, Russia

This vibrant baroque- and neoclassical-style city in western Russia has a dark side to its literary history. Trace the route of Crime and Punishment’s murderous Raskolnikov from his abode to the unlucky pawnbroker’s storefront with Peter’s Walking Tours (by private booking; there’s a forum for finding fellow travelers to split the cost). Visit the residence of the epic’s author, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, where he spent his final years and penned The Brothers Karamazov.

The Aleksandr Pushkin Memorial Apartment Museum marks the spot where the 37-year-old author died in the study and plunged the country into mourning. Like an unfortunate character in his most famous work, Eugene Onegin, Pushkin was fatally wounded during a duel. At the nearby Literary Café, he dined for the last time before meeting his tragic end.

Stockholm, Sweden

Inventor Albert Nobel put Stockholm on the international literary map a century ago with the Nobel Prizes, which laud the achievements of writers along with those of scientists and peace activists. Head to City Hall, site of the annual December awards banquet and an iconic landmark in its own right. In the on-site restaurant Stadshuskällaren, savor the cuisine served at the most recent Nobel dinner.

For a not-so-highbrow thrill, take the Stockholm City Museum’s guided Millennium Tour to see places depicted in Stieg Larsson’s bestselling crime novel The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and its two sequels. Before tattooed computer hacker Lisbeth Salander turned up, spirited children’s book character Pippi Longstocking was Sweden’s most famous fictional lass. A statue in Tegnérlunden park honors her creator, Astrid Lindgren.

Portland, Oregon

If it weren’t for a color-coded map, customers might get lost among the stacks at Powell’s City of Books. Spanning an entire city block, it’s the largest new-and-used bookstore in the world and stocks more than a million volumes.

Nearby Heathman Hotel’s “Books by Your Bedside” package includes a personal tour of the lodging place’s 4,000-volume library, made up entirely of signed books by author guests (other package perks are a hardcover tome, a travel reading light, overnight lending privileges, and a donation to a children’s literacy organization).

For more literary immersion, see what’s scheduled at the renowned Portland Arts and Lectures series (September through May). A Portland tradition, it’s one of the biggest lecture events in the country and draws heavyweight headliners like Annie Proulx and Sebastian Junger.

Washington, D.C.

Start uncovering the capital city’s bookish side at the Library of Congress, founded in 1800 and still the world’s largest library. A free guided tour of this grandiose edifice illuminates its literary and architectural significance and offers a look at the opulent Main Reading Room with its stained glass, marble, and murals.

A gratis audio walking tour by the Poetry Foundation visits sites associated with Walt Whitman, Langston Hughes, and other bards who found inspiration in the city. At indie bookstore Politics and Prose, sit in on a book group discussion or attend one of the regularly held author events. Kramerbooks and the adjoining Afterwords Café and Grill are open 24 hours on Fridays and Saturdays. Pick up some bedtime reading such as The Camel Club or another one of David Baldacci’s D.C.-set thrillers.

Melbourne, Australia

Founded as a frontier outpost in 1835, Melbourne flourished during a gold rush and has since blossomed into Australia’s cultural capital. Check out the State Library of Victoria, constructed in the mid-1800s and declared by its founding president to be free to everyone over age 14 “if only his hands are clean.” View exhibits in three different galleries, attend a talk at the Wheeler Centre in the south wing, and marvel at the domed, octagon-shaped La Trobe Reading Room adorned with quotes by famous writers.

Explore “Melbourne by the Book” on a walking excursion with Hidden Secrets and browse at the sizeable weekly book market on Saturdays in Fed Square. When you need a respite, Narrelle M. Harris, author of the Melbourne Literary app, recommends the Drunken Poet, where portraits of Oscar Wilde and other scribes line the walls.

Santiago, Chile

Revered “people’s poet” Pablo Neruda, best known for his romantic verse, secretly rendezvoused with his mistress and muse at his home, called La Chascona. The bright blue-and-yellow domicile is located in the hilltop Bellavista neighborhood, which can be explored with La Bicicleta Verde tours. Chile honors another Nobel Prize–winning bard, Gabriela Mistral, with an elaborate mural in Cerro Santa Lucia Park—and with her visage on the 5,000 peso note.

The exorbitant cost of new books in Chile has resulted in a robust market for secondhand publications. Peruse the offerings at the weekend market on Lastarria Street near the Museo Nacional de Bellas Artes, or visit the numerous merchants in the small shopping center near the intersection of Providencia Avenue and Miguel Claro Street. Java-seeking bibliophiles should head to one of several branches of the library Café Literario, including an outpost in Balmaceda Park that has 30,000 books.

So pack your bags and let us all know how it went. Oh by the way a round trip ticket will set you back over 10,000 bucks which is a lot of royalties.

Literary Holiday is as Literary Holiday Does

April 5, 2013 ~ John W. Howell ~ 7 Comments

I was again surfing the net (sigh) looking for Fiction Favorites material and stumbled on to the following blog written by the staff writers at http://www.onlineuniversities.com/blog. I thought the blog was the kind of thing that needs to be republished since it was originally put up in July 2010. You can click on the various holidays for more information

: IRELAND, COUNTY LIMERICK, 1997 —LICENSE PLATE (Photo credit: woody1778a)

if you have interest. So here it is and I hope you enjoy.

Eleven Literary Holidays That Every Book Lover Should Know

If you’re a literature lover, you should take every opportunity you can to revel in your love of good books. Luckily, there are a few days or weeks set aside in the year that promote doing just that. Here are some fun and educational holidays that will let you appreciate great works of literature, spend time at your library and even help you create some writing of your own.

Bloomsday, June 16th: This holiday celebrates the life and work of Irish author James Joyce. On this holiday, participants relive the events of his most famous work, Ulysses, which take place on the same day. Bibliophiles will recognize that the holiday is named after the novel’s main character, Leopold Bloom. While you can celebrate at home, the real party takes place in Dublin with pub crawls, cultural activities, readings and a generally good time.
Hemingway Days, Third Week of July: To properly celebrate the beard and books of Hemingway on this week-long holiday, you’ll need to head down to Key West Florida. There, you’ll find everything from Hemingway look-alike contests to rounds of drinks served at Hemingway’s favorite Key West bar, Sloppy Joes. The celebration culminates with a party on Hemingway’s birthday. The celebrations aren’t all in jest, however, as there is a serious literary award, The Lorian Hemingway Short Story Competition, held as well.
Hobbit Day, September 22nd: If you can’t seem to get enough of Middle Earth, spend this fall day celebrating the book and its author, J.R.R. Tolkien. The date was chosen to coincide with the birthdays of hobbits Biblo and Frodo, and often celebrants mark the day with feasts, going barefoot and general merriment in true hobbit style. Hobbit Day takes place during Tolkien Week, so you can spend the whole week enjoying the author and his works.
Great Poetry Reading Day, April 28th: Are you a poetry fan? Why not take advantage of this spring holiday then, and read some of the world’s best verse out loud. The holiday offers a great chance to hold a poetry reading party, listen to the poetry of others and perhaps write and read your own great works.
Tom Sawyer Fence Painting Day, July 1st- 4th: You don’t have to be in Hannibal, Missouri, hometown of the fictional Tom Sawyer, to appreciate this holiday. The celebration, which takes place during the Fourth of July, offers participants the chance to indulge in frog jumping, Tom and Becky contests, parades, and of course, fence painting. If you can’t make it out to Hannibal, have your own Mark Twain themed party at home.
Clerihew Day, July 10th: A clerihew is a type of four-line verse that is generally biographical, beginning with the subject’s name and is always humorous. You can celebrate this type of poetry, invented and named after Edmund Clerihew Bentley, throughout the day. Write short poems about your friends (or enemies), fictional characters or just about anything to have a few laughs and gain a greater appreciation for writing at the same time.
Winnie the Pooh Day, January 18th: Travel back to your childhood with this holiday that commemorates the honey-obsessed bear and his pals. Observed on the birthday of author A.A. Milne, this holiday invites celebrants to read the classic stories to them or to share them with the next generation of book lovers.
Reading is Fun Week, Fourth Week of April: While this holiday was created to share the love of reading with a child, there’s no reason that adults can’t celebrate it on their own as well. Buy yourself a new book, spend some time alone reading, or promote reading in your local community. However you choose to celebrate, this weeklong holiday is a great chance to geek out on reading.
Dictionary Day, October 16th: Created to honor Noah Webster, best known for his creation of the well-known Webster’s Dictionary, this holiday asks readers to improve their vocabularies and appreciate the importance of the dictionary. Celebrate this holiday by learning a few new works, doing a crossword puzzle or just paging through a dictionary.
Library Week, Second Week of April: Most book lovers couldn’t do without the services of their local library. This week is a chance to celebrate all that libraries do and all that can be learned from the materials they hold. Created by the American Library Association, National Library Week is the perfect time to pay a visit to your library, check out books and hear what others have to say about the value of libraries.
Limerick Day, May 12th: English writer Edward Lear helped to make the Limerick, a five lines, rhyming poem, popular. This holiday commemorates the often silly or bawdy type of verse he held dear. You can celebrate by creating your own limericks or reading those of others.

Have a great Weekend and don’t be tempted to start your Limerick with: “There once was a man from Nantucket…”

Bored is as Bored Does

March 5, 2013August 1, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 4 Comments

The wind has been whipping the Gulf of Mexico into frenzy. Gusts have been up to sixty miles an hour which will lift the old toupee. (If you have one) Being outside is not the best; with sand and salt coming at you like it was made in a factory. Our little Silky Terrier did a yeoman’s job of staying on the ground but she did resemble the appearance of what you would imagine a Dallas socialite in a wind tunnel to look like. Her hair was everywhere and I could tell she knew it was not right. The boxer did her best to keep her wet nose downwind so to speak. Since the sand was sticking to anything moist she needed to keep pointing to avoid an eventual clog.

The weather is not the best, but it is sure a good time to get some of those writing chores out-of-the-way. I say chore because sometimes working on a novel day in and day out leads one to a case of the shaking bores. I don’t think this is an actual medical term but for me the symptoms are as follows:

I want someone else to do the typing. I already know how the thing is going to come out so the typing part is like changing a flat tire. It is necessary but unless you are a paid Indy 500 pit crew member NO FUN AT ALL.
I have the strong urge to kill and eat every carbohydrate I can lay my hands on. Chips, pasta, Fritos, Cheetos, Kettle corn it doesn’t matter. It does not even need to be thawed or heated. In fact, my neighbors always know I am having trouble. They have told my wife the tell-tale signs are there: crumbs on my mouth, slurred speech, and the ever-present smell of chips on my breath.
I go outside and look at the lawn. I don’t need to cut it this time of year, but I think it has a real need to be checked. Checked for what I have no idea but, when the bores hit checking the lawn seems like a real good idea. It is up there with wash the car….BOOOOWAAAHAHAHAHHHAAAAHHHHHHH (someone please slap me). Wash the car? Who does that anymore? My car is so small (how small is it?) when it gets dirty I put it in the recycle bin. Burrump Bump.
I start trying to think of humorous things to write about for Fiction Favorites. That last point was not a good example. I think more like; who was the first person to actually eat an oyster? Was it a truth or dare kind of event? Did the person actually keep the oyster down? Did all his friends tell everyone at cave school the next day that he ate it? Stuff like that.
I begin to wander. I don’t mean like away from the house or anything, I mean wander away from the work I am supposed to be doing. (or at least what I think I am supposed to be doing) I do e-mails, research the net, surf the net. I write short stories. I go to writer group meetings and read my stories. WAIT A MINUTE HERE. This doesn’t sound like wandering, it sounds like more writing things.

So I guess eventually when I get all the bores out-of-the-way I really do return to writing. This is a very good thing and I’ll bet all of you do the same. Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to goof off knowing full well that we will return to the thing we love, (Crabmeat..just kidding) WRITING.

So if you must, give yourself a little slack and go kill a frozen pizza. You’ll be better for it.

Over Served is as Over Served Does

March 1, 2013August 1, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 9 Comments

I was sitting around with some writer friends having a cocktail (okay… cocktails) the other day and the subject of books happen to come up (you think?). The discussion began with a question around what does the group (as individuals) think are the best books we have read. Although more scholarly people have offered their opinion on book quality, it takes a group of five writers (who happen to be gathered together and have begun the fueling process that will guarantee brilliant opinions) to really begin to hone the particulars to consider the question.

I recall (not an easy task the morning after) that one writer felt; quality was in found in how well the plot came to resolution. He cited James Patterson’s books as examples. Another felt dialog separated the good from not so good and used Norman Mailer’s books as his proof. The better the dialog the better the book would sum his thinking. The third thought complexity of character and strength of voice marked the difference. He brought up James Joyce as the icon for his rationale. The fourth felt that the number of books sold was the benchmark. He used the rationale that if a book sold well then it was probably a good book. He picked the Grey series as his hallmark

After about three drinks it was finally my turn to proffer an opinion. I simply said (I needed to choose words that I could use without slurring) that the enjoyment factor went a long way in my mind to distinguish a good book from those that are not as good. I was thinking in particular about Stieg Larsson and the Millennium series. (Could qualify under the number of books sold criteria at 65 million) I remember hardly being able to wait to read each of the three books. Is the Millennium series a collection of fiction books that could be considered among the top books? I am not sure. To me they offered plot resolution, great dialog, complex characters and a strong voice, and as I have pointed out, sold a lot.

By the fifth drink (I know there were more, I just lost count) none of us could agree on a finite set of great books. We argued, discussed and finally must have gone home. (ahem… this is a fuzzy part).

The next morning I fished out of my shirt pocket a napkin from the bar and on it was written in blurred ink (I was trying to use a Sharpie that I borrowed from a guy at the next table who was a school teacher) I am uncertain if this was the final list but certainly is my top ten fiction favorites.

Rather than have the whole event pass without any utility, I am publishing my list right here. I would love to know your thoughts as well so if you would like to chime in please do so. (Please be careful though, my head is killing me)

John’s top ten books in no particular order.

Jailbird by Kurt Vonnegut
Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
On the Beach by Neville Shute
Mila 18 by Leon Uris
The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Naked and the Dead by Norman Mailer
The girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson
Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving
It by Stephen King

Have a great weekend.

List is as List Does

February 19, 2013August 1, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 4 Comments

As you can see I love lists. I stumbled across the Modern Library’s governing board’s list of the greatest books of the twentieth century. The board members were: Christopher Cerf, Gore Vidal, Daniel J. Boorstin, Shelby Foote, Vartan Gregorian, A.S. Byatt, Edmund Morris, John Richardson, Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr. and William Styron.

This list was put together in 1999 and is ranked from first to last. There was a lot of controversy when the list was published (Not enough women, too many North American and English authors, and general bias) but it is still a pretty good list for anyone who wants a number of books from which to choose. I will say no more here it is: BTW you can click on the link and see the New York Times review when the book came out

1.”Ulysses,” James Joyce

2. “The Great Gatsby,” F. Scott Fitzgerald

3. “A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man,” James Joyce

4. “Lolita,” Vladimir Nabokov

5. “Brave New World,” Aldous Huxley

6. “The Sound and the Fury,” William Faulkner

7. “Catch-22,” Joseph Heller

8. “Darkness at Noon,” Arthur Koestler

9. “Sons and Lovers,” D. H. Lawrence

10. “The Grapes of Wrath,” John Steinbeck

11. “Under the Volcano,” Malcolm Lowry

12. “The Way of All Flesh,” Samuel Butler

13. “1984,” George Orwell

14. “I, Claudius,” Robert Graves

15. “To the Lighthouse,” Virginia Woolf

16. “An American Tragedy,” Theodore Dreiser

17. “The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter,” Carson McCullers

18. “Slaughterhouse Five,” Kurt Vonnegut

19. “Invisible Man,” Ralph Ellison

20. “Native Son,” Richard Wright

21. “Henderson the Rain King,” Saul Bellow

22. “Appointment in Samarra,” John O’ Hara

23. “U.S.A.” (trilogy), John Dos Passos

24. “Winesburg, Ohio,” Sherwood Anderson

25. “A Passage to India,” E. M. Forster

26. “The Wings of the Dove,” Henry James

27. “The Ambassadors,” Henry James

28. “Tender Is the Night,” F. Scott Fitzgerald

29. “The Studs Lonigan Trilogy,” James T. Farrell

30. “The Good Soldier,” Ford Madox Ford

31. “Animal Farm,” George Orwell

32. “The Golden Bowl,” Henry James

33. “Sister Carrie,” Theodore Dreiser

34. “A Handful of Dust,” Evelyn Waugh

35. “As I Lay Dying,” William Faulkner

36. “All the King’s Men,” Robert Penn Warren

37. “The Bridge of San Luis Rey,” Thornton Wilder

38. “Howards End,” E. M. Forster

39. “Go Tell It on the Mountain,” James Baldwin

40. “The Heart of the Matter,” Graham Greene

41. “Lord of the Flies,” William Golding

42. “Deliverance,” James Dickey

43. “A Dance to the Music of Time” (series), Anthony Powell

44. “Point Counter Point,” Aldous Huxley

45. “The Sun Also Rises,” Ernest Hemingway

46. “The Secret Agent,” Joseph Conrad

47. “Nostromo,” Joseph Conrad

48. “The Rainbow,” D. H. Lawrence

49. “Women in Love,” D. H. Lawrence

50. “Tropic of Cancer,” Henry Miller

51. “The Naked and the Dead,” Norman Mailer

52. “Portnoy’s Complaint,” Philip Roth

53. “Pale Fire,” Vladimir Nabokov

54. “Light in August,” William Faulkner

55. “On the Road,” Jack Kerouac

56. “The Maltese Falcon,” Dashiell Hammett

57. “Parade’s End,” Ford Madox Ford

58. “The Age of Innocence,” Edith Wharton

59. “Zuleika Dobson,” Max Beerbohm

60. “The Moviegoer,” Walker Percy

61. “Death Comes to the Archbishop,” Willa Cather

62. “From Here to Eternity,” James Jones

63. “The Wapshot Chronicles,” John Cheever

64. “The Catcher in the Rye,” J. D. Salinger

65. “A Clockwork Orange,” Anthony Burgess

66. “Of Human Bondage,” W. Somerset Maugham

67. “Heart of Darkness,” Joseph Conrad

68. “Main Street,” Sinclair Lewis

69. “The House of Mirth,” Edith Wharton

70. “The Alexandria Quartet,” Lawrence Durrell

71. “A High Wind in Jamaica,” Richard Hughes

72. “A House for Ms. Biswas,” V. S. Naipaul

73. “The Day of the Locust,” Nathaniel West

74. “A Farewell to Arms,” Ernest Hemingway

75. “Scoop,” Evelyn Waugh

76. “The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie,” Muriel Spark

77. “Finnegans Wake,” James Joyce

78. “Kim,” Rudyard Kipling

79. “A Room With a View,” E. M. Forster

80. “Brideshead Revisited,” Evelyn Waugh

81. “The Adventures of Augie March,” Saul Bellow

82. “Angle of Repose,” Wallace Stegner

83. “A Bend in the River,” V. S. Naipaul

84. “The Death of the Heart,” Elizabeth Bowen

85. “Lord Jim,” Joseph Conrad

86. “Ragtime,” E. L. Doctorow

87. “The Old Wives’ Tale,” Arnold Bennett

88. “The Call of the Wild,” Jack London

89. “Loving,” Henry Green

90. “Midnight’s Children,” Salman Rushdie

91. “Tobacco Road,” Erskine Caldwell

92. “Ironweed,” William Kennedy

93. “The Magus,” John Fowles

94. “Wide Sargasso Sea,” Jean Rhys

95. “Under the Net,” Iris Murdoch

96. “Sophie’s Choice,” William Styron

97. “The Sheltering Sky,” Paul Bowles

98. “The Postman Always Rings Twice,” James M. Cain

99. “The Ginger Man,” J. P. Donleavy

100. “The Magnificent Ambersons,” Booth Tarkington

Prompt is as Prompt Does

February 15, 2013August 1, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 2 Comments

Nostrovia is a fine blog on poetry. Here is the link: http://wp.me/s2SbOP-357 . Please feel free to visit; you will like it.

It is also a place where great ideas pop up. This week the idea is a writing prompt around the following: “Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

The idea is to interpret the words in any fashion. I have chosen a flash fiction piece. Hope you like it.

The Song

The two singer/song writers finish putting the final touches on the last song for their new album due to be recorded day after tomorrow. They have been at it steady for the last thirty-six hours.

“I’m beat. All I want to do is lay down somewhere. Don’t really care where,” Jerry says.

“Yeah mate,” says Brice. “I’m dead on my feet. Coffee doesn’t work.”

“Those final lyrics in the last stanza are really good.”

“You think?”

“I am really in love with what you did there.”

“Y’know Jerry. I think I love you too.”

“I said I was in love with what you did. I could give a shit about you.”

“Aw come on mate. You know we are a team.”

“I wish we had an opinion of the music before we record. I like it. You like it, but will it sell?”

“Getting someone to listen shouldn’t be too hard. It is about breakfast time. Let’s go down on the street and find someone who will be willing to come up and listen.”

“Who the hell is going to stop their day to listen to music, and while I am at it, who in the hell is going to follow two crazy looking, smelly guys up here to our studio to listen?”

“What if we offer someone some money? Say fifty bucks.”

Brice you are a lunatic, but I don’t have a better idea. Let’s go troll for a listener.”

Jerry and Brice move toward the door and on the way pick up their guitars. It was Jerry’s idea to take the instruments to add a degree of professionalism to what he is sure to be a crazy sounding scheme. Jerry opens the door to their studio and standing poised to knock on the door is a young girl about eighteen or so. Brice and Jerry look at each other and pass a communication that maybe a trip downstairs might not be necessary.

“Can we help you?” Jerry says.

“My name is Cynthia Simon and I am collecting for the St James School for the hearing impaired.”

“Please come in,” says Brice.

“Oh I am not allowed to come into homes. Only ask for a donation.”

“I understand completely. Maybe you could help us.”

Cynthia takes a step back. “Help? How?”

Brice and I have written a song and we need to sing and play it for someone to see if they like it or not. You would be perfect since we think the song will appeal to someone your age.”

“Well…I guess it would be okay as long as I stand out here.”

“Great. You stand there and we’ll do the song from here.”

Brice looks at Jerry and gives him the downbeat. They sing their song as if they were auditioning for Carnegie Hall. They never sang it with so much force before. It was magnificent. They finish and look expectantly at Cynthia for her reaction.

“Well,” Cynthia says. “I liked the words but I think the tune was used on a Go Daddy commercial during the Super Bowl.”

Jerry and Brice are dumfounded. They look at each other, then Brice goes to the piano and picks up the music.

“How much did we pay for this?” He is holding the music above his head.

“I don’t know, but I was told it was an original score.”

“Who the hell told you it was original?” Brice is now starting to get red in the face.

“His agent. She told me it was original.”

Brice throws the music back on the piano. “You’re telling me that tone-deaf agent told you the music was original and you bought it?”

“Wouldn’t you?”

“Did you get a signed release?”

“Um…No.”

“So here we are with a song with great lyrics and according to Cynthia here, a tune that was last assigned to Go Daddy on a Super Bowl commercial. We also have only two days until we record and you tell me we have no legal ground to stand on? “

“Yeah I guess so.”

“This reminds me of people thinking dancers are nuts cause they can’t hear the music. I think we are nuts because we can’t recognize a flipping tune that has been played on the flipping Super Bowl.

“Uh…wait a minute,” Jerry says. He turns to Cynthia. “You said you were collecting for a school for hearing impaired.”

“Yes I am.”

“Why are you doing that? Do you go there?”

“Why yes I do.”

Brice and Jerry smile at Cynthia and then at each other. “Of course you do,” says Brice. He reaches for his wallet.

Rescue is as Rescue Does

February 12, 2013August 1, 2021 ~ John W. Howell

Today’s post is a little different in that I normally write about authors and fiction, but am creating a little scenario that I wish could happen. As background; my wife volunteers for the San Antonio Chapter of Austin Boxer Rescue. This organization rescues unwanted and usually abused Boxers from being euthanized and finds them new homes. Sometimes the dogs are in such bad shape they do not survive, in spite of, massive efforts by veterinarians, care givers and foster parents. Yesterday, a rescue named Jackpot succumbed to the neglect of his owners before he could be permanently placed. The two letters that follow are fiction, but represent what I wish could take place. If you want to find out more about ABR here is a link to the website: www.austinbokerrescue.com and Facebook: www.facebook,com/AustinBoxerRescue?fref=ts

San Antonio SAMS ministry Shelter

February 1, 2013

Dear Jackpot,

I am having the nice case worker here write this letter since you probably don’t know I can’t read or write. She is also helping with some of the words so if this doesn’t sound like me you will understand.

Your mom and I finally found a place to live in San Antonio. We were sorry that the authorities decided that we were no longer fit to keep you, and took you from us. I know it must be hard living with others, but I hope you know that if it was our decision, you would be still with us. It was a terrible thing to have people come into our home and rip you away, but I understand your foster home is pretty nice and the people seemed real dedicated to your welfare. Anyway, this is just a temporary setback and we will get together again I am sure.

This place is real nice. The people are kind and at least we are warm and have something to eat. Speaking of that, you sure looked a little thin the last time I saw you. Are you getting something to eat there? I know mom and I sometimes forgot to give you food, but since you are pretty young, I don’t think it will matter. Do you have a yard to play in? Ours was so small we had to keep you on a chain and I am sorry about not letting you in the house. Mom couldn’t stand the smell that dogs have so I know you will understand. Do they let you come in there?

Let us know how you are.

Poppy and Mommy

Austin Boxer Rescue San Antonio

February 10, 2013

Dear Poppy and Mommy,

I also have someone writing this letter to you. She is my foster mom and if I don’t sound like myself it is because I am not.

I wanted to send you a note immediately when I got yours, but I have been having a little difficulty keeping my thoughts together. I think I can now respond to your letter and to the life I had while I was with you. It has taken the kind of care that I have received since I arrived here, to make me realize that I was not responsible for how you and mommy treated me.

My foster mom actually touches me in a loving way. I was scared at first because when she reached for me I thought she was going to hit me like I have become accustomed to with you. I jerked away from her. She did not choke me with a chain or wire, and tie me on the tree in the backyard. She calmly talked to me and then gave me a bath. She started crying when she saw the extent of my neglect and the love for her swelled within me. It was the same kind of love I had for you when I first came to be with you.

I have been given food and medical treatment and a place to sleep on a soft cushion in the master’s bedroom. I never realized that food is something that needs to be eaten every day. The pain in my stomach has finally gone away and I can eat without getting sick. I don’t know why I thought you and Mommy cared for me and why I continued to care for you. Besides the chain and lack of food, you never played ball or catch and we never laughed and jumped. I wish right now I could do more, but I am still too sick to really play with my new family although they ask me.

As far as coming back to you; my foster mom tells me that will never happen. I am now being prepared to be adopted into my forever home and as soon as I am healthy enough I will go there. I can’t help but feel relief that I won’t have to face the pain again.

I am glad you and mom have food and a warm place. This is the first time I can say the same about me. I need to go now as there are some more tests that need to be done and my foster mom needs to take me to the vet. I cannot ever remember going to the vet with you. Maybe my memory is fading.

Goodbye,

Jackpot

This is Jackpot’s foster mom:

Jackpot’s troubles are over. Tonight he went over the rainbow bridge after suffering cardiac arrest. His heart muscle was weakened by starvation and neglect. He was surrounded by loving and caring people who were saddened by his passing. The one good aspect; Jackpot’s last days were spent experiencing love, comfort and caring. It is too bad that they were so few. You should be forgiven for treating Jackpot as poorly as you did, but this is why I am not a god. I don’t have the heart to do so. I can hope you never are blessed with another dog. You have abused the privilege.

One Hundred is as One Hundred Does

February 5, 2013August 1, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 4 Comments

I went online just before the Super Bowl on Sunday to see if I could find out just how many books had been written about the Super Bowl. To most of you; the answer to this question is about as important as finding out how many calories in a hot fudge sundae. Once you know the answer then what? I had no plans to take the information and maybe justify to myself why there is room for yet another book about the Super Bowl and then go to work composing. Nope, that wasn’t the reason. I just wondered that’s all. I think the connection between being a writer and wondering about who wrote what- about- who just comes naturally. When I explain this natural wonder to others who don’t write, I get the slow back up and the patronizing nods of the head that seem to have as a purpose warding off a bigger meltdown.

Ah but I digress. (Another statement that convinces people I am certifiable) Anyway, I was not able to get the answer. I did come across some tidbits that I thought could be used during slow moments at wakes and cocktail hours. Did you know that Google has estimated that there are 129,864,880 books in the entire world? What is really interesting is to go on-line and actually read how Google came to that estimate which includes all the books published ever. This estimate was developed in spite of the fact that the ISBN system has only been available in the Western World for less than forty years. I can just see you walking up to some hapless innocent at your next cocktail reception and holding them in rapt attention. “Can you believe that there are only 129,864,880 books on the planet so I guess there is room for my next million seller.” Wow what an impact.

I also found a list of what Martin Seymour-Smith a British poet thinks are the top 100 most influential books ever published. His book is titled The 100 Most Influential Books Ever Written: The History of Thought from Ancient Times to Today. Although done in 1998 it is an interesting compilation.

My observation: The first eighty books were published prior to 1900. It is probable that none of us have working knowledge of too many of the books written prior to the twentieth century. Of course, some of them were required reading in specific courses of study (Dante’s Divine Comedy for example). The remaining twenty have familiar themes and are basically non-fiction, but here they are as published on Wikipedia.



#	Author	*Book Title*	Year Published
81	William James	Pragmatism	1908
82	Albert Einstein	Relativity	1916
83	Vilfredo Pareto	The Mind and Society	1916
84	Carl Jung	Psychological Types	1921
85	Martin Buber	I and Thou	1923
86	Franz Kafka	The Trial	1925
87	Karl Popper	The Logic of Scientific Discovery	1934
88	John Maynard Keynes	General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money	1936
89	Jean-Paul Sartre	Being and Nothingness	1943
90	Friedrich von Hayek	The Road to Serfdom	1944
91	Simone de Beauvoir	The Second Sex	1948
92	Norbert Wiener	Cybernetics	1948, revised 1961
93	George Orwell	Nineteen Eighty-Four	1949
94	George Gurdjieff	Beelzebub’s Tales to His Grandson	1950
95	Ludwig Wittgenstein	Philosophical Investigations	1953
96	Noam Chomsky	Syntactic Structures	1957
97	Thomas Kuhn	The Structure of Scientific Revolutions	1962, revised 1970
98	Betty Friedan	The Feminine Mystique	1963
99	Mao Zedong (attributed)	Quotations from Chairman Mao Zedong (Little Red Book)	1966
100	B. F. Skinner	Beyond Freedom and Dignity	1971

The entire list can be seen at:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_100_Most_Influential_Books_Ever_Written

Grumpy is as Grumpy Does

February 1, 2013August 1, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 8 Comments

More research activity turned up an interesting article at Mental_Floss written by Stacy Conradt titled; 11 Authors Who Hated the Movie Versions of Their Books. I thought it interesting since there are listed some pretty good movies and some surprising reasons why the authors of the original story hated them. Here is a recap of the article’s substance and you will see what I mean:

Mary Poppins – P.L. Travers loathed the movie’s animated sequences and was perturbed that Mary Poppins’ strict side was downplayed.

The Shining – Stephen King felt the director Stanley Kubrick couldn’t grasp the sheer inhuman evil of The Overlook Hotel. So he looked, instead, for evil in the characters and made the film into a domestic tragedy with only vaguely supernatural overtones.

Interview with the Vampire – Anne Rice thought the casting was “so bizarre,” she said, “It’s almost impossible to imagine how it’s going to work.” When she saw the movie, however, she actually loved Cruise’s portrayal and told him what an impressive job he had done. She still hasn’t come around to liking Queen of the Damned, though, telling her Facebook fans to avoid seeing the film that “mutilated” her books.

Forrest Gump – Winston Groom did not like omission of plot points and sanitizing some of the language and sex. He also felt he was not paid what he was owed. He started the Gump sequel with the lines, “Don’t never let nobody make a movie of your life’s story,” and “Whether they get it right or wrong, it don’t matter.”

Sahara – Clive Cussler’s Dirk Pitt tales have a cult following. Dirk Pitt movies don’t, especially Sahara which was a certified flop: the $145 million production made just $68 million at the box office. Cussler said it was because the producer failed to give him total script control as agreed upon and sued for $38 million. He lost. In fact, Cussler was ordered to pay $13.9 million for legal fees incurred by the Sahara production company. Though that order was overturned in 2010, it’s safe to say that Cussler probably won’t be pursuing that relationship again.

Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger consented to have his short story Uncle Wiggly in Connecticut made into a movie retitled My Foolish Heart. He was so mortified by the swooning love story that he swore his works would never be butchered again and there has not been a movie made of Catcher in the Rye.

A Clockwork Orange – Anthony Burgess disliked the movie based on his novella A Clockwork Orange, he later regretted writing any of it in the first place. “The book I am best known for, or only known for, is a novel I am prepared to repudiate: written a quarter of a century ago, a jeu d’esprit knocked off for money in three weeks, it became known as the raw material for a film which seemed to glorify sex and violence. The film made it easy for readers of the book to misunderstand what it was about, and the misunderstanding will pursue me till I die. I should not have written the book because of this danger of misinterpretation.”

The Informers – Bret Easton Ellis says, “That movie doesn’t work for a lot reasons but I don’t think any of those reasons are my fault.”

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl felt the movie version of his book was “crummy,” found Gene Wilder’s Willy Wonka to be “pretentious” and “bouncy,” and thought the director had “no talent or flair.” He vowed that film producers would never get their hands on the sequel to similarly ruin it, at least not in his lifetime.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest – Ken Kesey was not impressed. He was originally slated to help with the production, but left two weeks into the process. Though he claimed for a long time that he didn’t even watch it and was especially upset that they didn’t keep the viewpoint of Chief Bromden, his wife later said that he was glad the movie was made.

I Am Legend – Richard Matheson has been annoyed with the adaptations of his book since 1964. The first one, The Last Man on Earth, starred Vincent Price. “I was disappointed in The Last Man on Earth, even though they more or less followed my story. I think Vincent Price, whom I love in every one of his pictures that I wrote, was miscast. I also felt the direction was kind of poor.” Another version, The Omega Man, starred Charlton Heston. “The Omega Man was so removed from my book that it didn’t even bother me,” Matheson said. And when I Am Legend starring Will Smith was announced, the author commented, “I don’t know why Hollywood is fascinated by my book when they never care to film it as I wrote it.” The most recent adaptation, by the way, completely changed Matheson’s ending because it didn’t test well with audiences.

Read the full text here: http://mentalfloss.com/article/31001/11-authors-who-hated-movie-versions-their-books#ixzz2JfpV9NrF
–brought to you by mental_floss!

Patience is as Patience Does

January 29, 2013August 1, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 2 Comments

Thomas Wolfe has won a chest full of awards and honorary doctorate degrees for his work. Most of the recognition came as a result of his non-fiction work, (The Right Stuff; for example) although he did manage to pick up recognition for his fiction work as well. Not all the recognition for his fiction was positive and his major critics (Especially of A Man in Full) were fellow authors like; John Updike, Norman Mailer and John Irving. Their beef can be boiled down to an opinion that Thomas Wolfe’s books were entertainment and not literature.

Wolfe has written (so far) four fiction novels: The Bonfire of the Vanities in 1987, A Man in Full in 1998, I am Charlotte Simmons in 2004, and Back to Blood in 2012. As you can see, the minimum time between books is six years with the longest at eleven. In today’s environment, where an author like James Patterson publishes fourteen books in a given year, the question comes up as to why so long between books?

I have not interviewed Thomas Wolfe so I can’t actually provide the real reason, but I’ll bet it has something to do with patience. If you have read his books it is very apparent that the words are collected and crafted very carefully to convey the scene or mood being described. This kind of attention to detail cannot be done by all authors, and most specifically, almost impossible in a rushed situation. Wolfe has always aspired to document modern society in the tradition of John Steinbeck, so I believe he forces himself to exercise extreme patience to ensure that each paragraph lives up to his personal benchmark. This kind of self discipline takes time. As we all know when writing, time is the resource that we believe works against our goals. We feel we waste time if we don’t make deadlines that are self imposed. Can you imagine sitting down to begin your next novel and know that it will be eleven years until it is published. If you are like me; you would rather put a stick in your eye then to contemplate that reality.

On the other hand, if you were told that your novel done properly would earn you the recognition and honor you feel you deserve, would you be more content to take your time? I’ll bet you would. So why are we all in a hurry? Do we think someone else is going to scoop our plot or capitalize on our character development?

I think we should all ask ourselves a simple question when we feel that time is getting away from us; WHAT IS THE RUSH? Don’t we know a well-developed chapter is so much better than just getting the chapter finished? Don’t we know by now, a query letter done right is so much better than just getting it done? Don’t we know taking time on a well thought out synopsis is better than rushing a submission? A lot of questions I know, but the answer has to be that we know full well the need to be patient.