Featured Post is as Featured Post Does

csb-featured-post

 

My response to the Community Story Board September 8th prompt: Horror Friday the 13th has been co-awarded a “Featured Post” badge. I say co-awarded since Marie Ann Bailey was also given the badge for her submission (long) short story.  You can go visit her and read her story. In case you missed it my story is  here.  As you know, Marie and I co-publish Ten Things Not to Do each Monday (like today)

Now all you other writers, make a visit to The Community Storyboard, submit a story, a poem, a photo, an essay to that week’s writing prompt, and you too may become a recipient of the CSB Featured Post badge!  There’s a new prompt every Sunday, lasting for the whole week.  Join in the fun!

Top Ten No No’s is as Top Ten No No’s Does

 

Since the football season is upon us here is the Eleventh installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.

Foot ball party

Top Ten Things Not to Do When Invited to a Football Party

  1. When invited to a football party, do not show up in your favorite team’s uniform if the game that is being watched does not include your team. You will immediately let your host know that you have no interest in the game and that you only came to drink up the beer and eat as much of the food as possible.
  2. When invited to a football party and asked to bring a dish, do not think you are fulfilling the host’s wish by hauling in a big bag of store-bought popcorn and liter of diet soda.  Actually, you won’t be fulfilling anyone’s wish with that contribution.
  3. When invited to a football party and you are welcome to bring a guest, do not think this includes a stranger you grabbed off the street or a distant member of your family. The host probably intended you to bring a date or spouse and won’t appreciate feeding extraneous random people.
  4. When invited to a football party and the host has no intention of starting a gambling pool, do not think it is your duty to correct what you think is an oversight. The host probably doesn’t want to put his guests on the spot to cough up a twenty which they will ultimately lose.
  5. When invited to a football party and none of the guests seem to understand fantasy football, allow them to remain blissfully unaware of the intricacies and complexity of the game that you and your office mates play every week.
  6. When invited to a football party and you see that the host does not have a fifty-inch HDTV, do not offer to buy everyone a drink at the local sports bar just because it has four such TVs. Your tab may wind up more than you can afford and your host may wind up wrapping one of the TVs around your head.
  7. When invited to a football party and the host does not have your brand of beer, do not turn up your nose and declare loudly: “well if you don’t have any I’ll just have water.” Go ahead and sacrifice your delicate taste buds on the beer that resembles carbonated defrost that your host is serving. After all, you don’t need to drink a barrel of it, although a barrel may be what you need to forget why you cared.
  8. When invited to a football party and you need to describe a great play, do not pick up a curio and ask that the crowd to imagine it as the football. It may be that the curio you just passed into the kitchen and that was dropped by your wide receiver was Faberge egg handed down by  your host’s great-great-great-grandmother.
  9. When invited to a football party and you realize the game is the most boring thing you have ever watched, do not pick up the remote and change the channel to a movie. You just may offend not only your host but the rest of the party as well. They may be reminded of the time the TV network cut off the last two minutes of the Super Bowl to air the move Heidi. You chance vigilante action.
  10. When invited to a football party and the game is over, it should be your signal to leave. Do not wait for your host to switch off the TV and start clearing the living room of empty beer cups, pizza boxes and paper plates of gnawed chicken wings. Your host is not making room for you and your guest to spend the night on the couch. They really want you to return to your own couch no matter what they say.

 

 

Lucy is as Lucy Does

dogs 006

I wrote this poem a while ago when we rescued our Boxer named Lucy. She had been run over by a car and needed tender care. Today she is a happy, healthy, joy filled dog. She loves life and humans and I have always wondered why someone would turn her loose. So this poem is my humble way of recognizing the strong heart of this beautiful fur child. There is no special reason to post it now other than I feel very fortunate to have her in my life.

Lucy by John W. Howell © 2013

She started her life as a battered child,

Let loose on the streets and hit by a car.

It was not her fault since she knew nothing,

Of what a ton of steel on wheels could do.

She is all white with two brown spots,

And recovered with the best of care.

She is friendly and kind without a single trace,

Of the hatred that she could rightfully show.

Whoever turned her out to live or die on the street,

Is the unfortunate one for not having her love each day.

They are the poorer for having been denied,

The joy, love, happiness and life of Lucy.

Every day she is ready to share in living,

With the innocence born of security and love.

Eternal is as Eternal Does

First ever "Earthrise" photograph, t...

This is not meant to be a dark post and no one has died causing a prompt. I was sitting editing my book and started to think on some of the burning questions of the day. One question which mankind has been asking ever since crawling out of the swamp, “is this all there is?” So here is the same question but adding in the subtle ritual that we have come to know so well. Hope you like it.

 

Thoughts When Someone Dies by John W. Howell ©2013

 

When people pass from the living to non,

To comfort ourselves we have ways.

We meet to talk about the one not there,

And convince ourselves of a life well lived.

 

It is not enough to simply believe,

That the time on Earth is all there is.

We talk of the soul as if it is real,

And feel it is with us as we talk.

 

We implore that the spirit will gently slip,

To eternal rest for well-earned peace.

We believe a higher purpose is in store,

By Subscribing to a more righteous plan.

 

We pause and consider destiny as,

More than just living on this Earth.

Is it? You ask with hopeful eyes,

No one knows how to answer you.

Dream is as Dream Does

English: Tent of Circus Herman Renz Nederlands...
English: Tent of Circus Herman Renz Nederlands: De tent van Circus Herman Renz (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have always been fascinated by the power of dreams. Many of my short stories deal with the idea that the dream takes on very realistic attributes. Sometime we are not sure if it was real or not. This little poem attempts to capture the feeling. I hope you like it.

 

The Dream Conundrum by John W. Howell ©2013

 

You wake up and are sure it was real,

A forgotten paper that was due in Psychology.

As hard as you try there is no way to explain,

It is fifty percent of the grade for the term.

 

You feel panic as the realization hits,

There is no way to recover this error.

A story is made up to explain,

That the paper was mailed and must be late.

 

Situations in dreams make a lot of sense,

In real life, dream logic folds like a circus tent.

The professor accepts the mailed in story,

But then asks for a copy of that cursed report.

 

More stories are told of dire circumstances,

Crashed hard drives, dog ingestion and such.

The last straw is looking for the professor,

To return the keys to his car that you took.

 

Thank heavens you finally wake up,

To realize it was all a frantic dream.

You hope the professor has a spare set of keys,

Since he made you throw your set away.

 

Have a great weekend

 

Clumsy Dialog is as Clumsy Dialog Does

English: John Howard, died 1790

I did a post last week on Fiction Favorites titled Dialog is as Dialog Does where I attempted to demonstrate some of the principles necessary for good dialog. The piece is a bit of flash fiction that contained only dialog and really no context with the idea  that the reader could figure out the story with just the dialog and no tags. You can read it here http://wp.me/p2Qoij-s5 if you would like to contrast it to what I am about to cover. This post will take the dialog from the last which had no tags and add tags that are totally inappropriate. By inappropriate I don’t mean offensive or derisive but really unnecessary to either the story or the conversation.

The reason I am doing this is to hopefully point out some of the glaring mistakes that new writer’s make in wanting to over explain the situation in a dialog setting. The true test of good dialog is the ability of the writer to separate conversations so that the reader knows exactly who is talking. Also good dialog should move the story along without causing the reader to be forced to stop and think about what the writer has laid out. So here we go.

John Howard by John Howell © 2013

“Can I help you young man?” the woman behind the desk asks.

“Yes I am here to see the president,” I reply with a bit of urgency.

“Is he expecting you?” she says with an eyebrow raised.

“He should be.  I sent him a letter and said I was going to stop by,” I respond back with a note of irritation in my voice.

“A letter?” she says with surprise in her voice.

“Yes,” I counter with a sense of superiority

“When did you send a letter?” she questions with some doubtfulness.

“I guess it was about a month ago.  The letter asked that my correct name be used since there has been a computer error and the University keeps calling me Howard instead of Howell,” I say almost running out of breath.

“Did Dr. Hannah respond to the letter?” she asks with an interrogator’s tone.

“Yes he did. I got a nice letter back.  Here is a copy read it for yourself,” I say handing her the letter.

“Humm.  Dr Hannah specifically thanked you for your correspondence and indicated that he would look into your problem.  You say that your name is Howell and not Howard?” she says while looking over her glasses.

“Yes it has been Howell for the last nineteen years,” I reply with a certain air of smugness.

“Yet the letter from Dr. Hannah is addressed to John Howard,” she points out handing the letter back to me.

“This is why I need to see him,” I say forcibly.

“Wait here Mr. Howard.  Let me see if I can find someone to help,” she says and then turns to go.

“It’s Howell,” I call out to her back.

“Excuse me?” she questions as she stops and slowly turns around to look at me.

“My name is Howell not Howard,” I repeat directly to her.

“Oh yes that is what I said. Howard,” she says and continues to move away.

“Howell,” I say even louder as she gets further from the room.

“I said Howard not Howell,” she calls back to me.

“I know,” I say and sigh loudly.

“Very well Mr. Howard, I will be right back,” she says and begins to move again.

“Howell,” I raise my voice

“I am only trying to help,” she says with an expression of irritation on her face.

“I’m sure,” I sort of blurt out sarcastically.

“I think you should call for an appointment.  Good day Mr. Howard,” she says and disappears through the door way behind the desk.

If you found this dialog off setting and somewhat clumsy you are probably on the right track to great dialog in your writing. In my mind (although not an expert) this entire scene did not benefit from any of the stage directions that were added into the tags. I also believe the story itself lost some of the power of authoritarianism and tension that was present in the original.

Have a great weekend

Dialog is as Dialog Does

Gravestone of John Howard Payne in Oak Hill Ce...

 

There is a Winter Texan writing group in which I have the pleasure of  participation. This group meets during the months of December through March ( all go back up north) and each week we would do a writing prompt. Most of the prompts are flash fiction and carry a theme. The one below was to be less than three hundred words and include only dialog. I thought maybe you would enjoy this fiction favorite prompt. It is titled John Howard.

“Can I help you young man?”

“Yes I am here to see the president.”

“Is he expecting you?”

“He should be.  I sent him a letter and said I was going to stop by.”

“A letter?”

“Yes.”

“When did you send a letter?”

“I guess it was about a month ago.  The letter asked that my correct name be used since there has been a computer error and the University keeps calling me Howard instead of Howell.”

“Did Dr. Hannah respond to the letter?”

“Yes he did. I got a nice letter back.  Here is a copy read it for yourself.”

“Humm.  Dr. Hannah specifically thanked you for your correspondence and indicated that he would look into your problem.  You say that your name is Howell and not Howard?”

“Yes it has been Howell for the last nineteen years.”

“Yet the letter from Dr. Hannah is addressed to John Howard.”

“This is why I need to see him.”

“Wait here Mr. Howard.  Let me see if I can find someone to help.”

“It’s Howell.”

“Excuse me?”

“My name is Howell not Howard.”

“Oh yes that is what I said. Howard.”

“Howell.”

“I said Howard not Howell.”

“I know.”

“Very well Mr. Howard, I will be right back.”

“Howell.”

“I am only trying to help.”

“I’m sure.”

“I think you should call for an appointment.  Good day Mr. Howard.”

Have a GREAT weekend

Ruby is as Ruby Does – A story of a remarkable Boxer

Since this is a blog about fiction favorites I thought I would take a little detour. Rather than discuss a particular piece of fiction I would like to take you on a small journey and tell a story that is real but sounds like fiction. The key difference between a fictional story and reality is fiction remains under the author’s control as to the outcomes. In real life, however, stories unfold and are seemingly under the pen of fate. We witness happy, sad and horrifying stories every day and many without satisfying resolution.

I would like to tell you a little story about a Boxer and it is not fiction and does have a satisfying resolution.

My wife got a call from Austin Boxer Rescue to see if she could drive to Kingsville (Texas. Home of the King Ranch) and pick up a boxer from the Kingsville animal shelter. The Boxer’s name was Macie. It seems the owner needed to move and asked a friend to take care of Macie. The so-called friend for unknown reasons chained Macie in the backyard where she had little access to food, shelter or water. The authorities finally came to investigate and seeing the horrible conditions took Macie to the shelter. The mother of the owner came to the shelter and surrendered Macie to the city. The city called Austin Boxer Rescue because Macie was a boxer and so Macie came to stay at our house until a foster home could be found.

I would like to  show you a picture of how Macie looked when she arrived, but the WordPress police would give me a citation. Let’s just say her condition brought tears to our eyes.  Macie at one time was well taken care of and has great heart.  She survived in spite of the abuse at  the hand of a very cruel and ignorant person. When she first came to us we bathed her and removed the fleas and ticks. Macie was clearly relieved to be at the hands of those who cared. She never stopped wagging her tail and loved being patted and hugged.

Macie was transported to Austin where she received medical care and exposure to a number of willing adoptive people. One person, a little girl even drew a picture of Macie after seeing her on the Austin Boxer Website www.austinboxerrescue.com

Drawing of Macie
Drawing of Macie

At the same time, the organization was running out of funds to help Macie and it asked friends and members through a Facebook feed  to donate as little as five dollars to help Macie receive the care she needed.  To date; over $60,000 has been raised. Obviously Macie touched the heart of many. Where is Macie now? As someone once said a picture is worth a thousand words. Macie and the little girl who drew her picture are now together in their forever home. Here is a picture of the two of them right after Macie was adopted.

Macie forever home
Macie forever home

The final picture is of Macie as she looks now with only one month of care.

Macie today
Macie today

Oh one more thing; you may wonder why the title of this post is Ruby is as Ruby Does? Well that is Macie’s new name given to her by her little sister.