This post ran on August 25, 2017. It may still be helpful.

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Top Ten Things Not to Say to a Contractor

This list was inspired by a number of discussions held with contractors lately. I hope you like it.

10 Do not say to a contractor, “I’m in no rush.” If you do, at best, the job will take longer than you could conceive. At worst, you’ll be at the bottom of the list of clients, and your job might get done before you retire. (The fact that you are only forty is not comforting, Desmond.)

9 Do not say to a contractor, “I want your best price.” If you do, at best, the bid will be only ten percent more than it would have been. At worst, your bid will come out somewhere North of what you expected to pay to rebuild the house, let alone do repairs. (Hang on to that defibrillator, Dalton. You may need it when the actual bill is presented, given all the change orders.)

8 Do not say to a contractor, “I have another bid to compare with yours.” If you do, at best, you will actually get his bid. At worst, you will wait for a bid that will never come since the contractor figured you would take the other one anyway. (That strategy didn’t work well, did it, Darren?)

7 Do not say to a contractor, “I really don’t know what I want.” If you do, at best, it will cost plenty to find out. At worst, you may spend a lot of money and finally know what you don’t want. (That is sure an ugly addition, don’t you think, Dustin?)

6 Do not say to a contractor, “Do what you think is best.” If you do, at best, what is best for the contractor is best for you. At worst, what is best for the contractor is to send his child to college on the proceeds from your job. (You should have asked more questions, Davis.)

5 Do not say to a contractor, “I don’t mind a little dust.” If you do, at best, your vacuum will keep up. At worst, you’ll find yourself in the ER with advanced symptoms of asthma. (You should have known when all the workers were wearing respirators, Deacon.)

4 Do not say to a contractor, “We get up early.” If you do, at best, it is early, at eight o’clock, to the contractor. At worst, the first light will bring you the wake-up sound of a Skill saw in the next room. (Establishing the work hours might have been wise, Dwayne.)

3 Do not say to a contractor, “We can do without water for as long as it takes to fix.” If you do, at best, the fix will be quick. At worst, the water will be shut off on Friday at three in the afternoon, and the job will be finished that next Monday at nine o’clock AM. (A nice long weekend without water for a three-hour repair is not a bad trade-off, right, Darrell?)

2 Do not say to a contractor, “Help yourself to soft drinks and water.” If you do, at best, they will be used only when needed. At worst, you didn’t realize that the contractor’s city-wide crew numbered thirty, and you were out of liquid by noon. (Should we have set a limit, huh, Devan?)

1 Do not say to a contractor, “Sure, you can return later and finish that little job.” If you do, at best, you’ve held back some money, and it gets done. At worst, you paid the whole bill, and it has been three months without a return phone call. (Good luck with that little job. Maybe you can hire another contractor to do it, Duane.”

This post was originally published on August 6, 2018. Since we are all involved in social media, it may be worthwhile revisiting it.

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Top Ten Things Not to Do on Social Media

This post was inspired by another post by award-winning author Jan Sikes. Jan wondered out loud whether we were all sharing too much on our social media efforts. In a comment back-and-forth, she suggested doing a “Top Ten Things Not to Do” post. You can see Jan’s post HERE.

The Top Ten Things Not to Do on Social Media.

10 If you are on social media, do not publish a photo of yourself making a hand gesture. If you do, at best, the gesture has an innocent intent. At worst, your gesture, no matter how honest, is seen by others as a reason to find out where you live. (It is incredible that you have all those people on your front lawn, Espen. Why do you think they are carrying torches and pitchforks?)

9 If you are on social media, do not post that you believe WWF wrestling is fake. If you do, at best, Tiny, the WWF champ, is out of the country without access to the internet. At worst, your post pops up on Tiny’s feed. (Looking through the peephole in your door does not give you the whole view of what is about to happen, Ethan. In fact, I would back up a bit so you are not hit by flying splinters. Better yet, run for your life.)

8 If you are on social media, do not engage in a back-and-forth discussion on politics with someone who has an AK 47 as a Gravatar. If you do, at best, you’ll stop before going too far. At worst, your last comment, which has no retort, will be followed by a high-pitched tone. (That tone is the sound of an incoming rocket-propelled grenade, Eupeithes. I would take cover.)

7 If you are on social media, do not publish pictures of your dinner, no matter where it is to be eaten. If you do, at best, most will miss it. At worst, the two likes you receive will indicate how poorly ham hocks and sour kraut with a side of succotash come across in a photo. (The fact that most of your readers decided to skip their dinner will return to haunt you, Eurystheus.)

6 If you are on social media, do not publish a GIF that blinks on and off with colorful stars and a giant pair of lips. If you do, at best, at least one reader will think it is cute. At worst, you will trigger several psychological and physical events that will hold you forever libel. ( I guess you had no idea the strobe effect would cause such a reaction, Evann. The injury attorneys will find that laughable.)

5 If you are on social media, do not broadcast that you are not home. If you do, at best, none of your readers will be cat burglars. At worst, you’ll return home from your trip to an empty house. (Normally, you are used to being alone at home, Everardo, but no furniture is a bit stark.)

4 If you are on social media, do not rant about a minor inconvenience in your day. If you do, at best, folks will just ignore you. At worst, you’ll get other stories that make your problem sound like a blessing. (Now, don’t you feel like a dope, Evgeni. You just had to demonstrate how shallow you are, didn’t you?)

3 If you are on social media, do not publish pictures of your new expensive purchases. If you do, at best, your materialism will define you. At worst, those followers with significantly less than you seem to have will drop you like a hot potato. ( I know you were happy you got that BMW, Evzen. All those folks in a ten-year-old Honda can’t help but be jealous.)

2  If you are on social media, do not pretend to recommend products that you like when, in reality, you are being paid. If you do, at best, your recommendations will be ignored. At worst, you will support something that doesn’t work. (Now you have an angry bunch of readers, Eric. What’s that they are saying about a class action suit?)

1 If you are on social media, don’t forget that your followers are individuals and deserve the best you have to offer. If you do forget, at best, a few unfollows will wake you up. At worst, you will need to start over with a new approach. (Funny how those thousands of followers disappeared, isn’t it, Edward?)