Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Think You Will Win a Contest or the Lotto

April 11, 2022April 10, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

Here is a post from May 4th, 2015, that has some advice that may still be worthwhile. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

This list was inspired by reading a story about a person who had a dream that they were a Lotto winner and went out and bought new cars before the drawing.

Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Think You Will Win a Contest or the Lotto

10 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not quit your day job until the drawing is over. If you do, at best, your boss won’t take you seriously when you give a reason for resigning. At worst, the Publisher Clearing House Award Team will knock on your door only to discover they have made a mistake. (Your neighbor with the constantly barking dog is the actual winner.)

9 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not brag to your in-laws before the drawing. If you do, at best, they will believe you are a little naive. At worst, your father-in-law will present an IOU for the amount of money he has loaned to your spouse. (The bill will still be due even if you don’t win.)

8 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not sign the papers for that beautiful new house until after the drawing. If you do, at best, you will be the proud owner of two homes and utterly broke. At worst, the Federal government will want to talk about the amount of income you stated on the bank loan forms of twenty million, which was used to approve the loan. (They keep mumbling vaguely about something called bank fraud.)

7 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not tell all your friends before the drawing. If you do, at best, they will want the money back for the drinks they bought you. At worst, they will think you won and are avoiding their requests for a loan. (Never thought you had so many broke friends did you?)

6 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not put off saving for retirement. If you do, at best, you will need to keep working until you have enough to retire. At worst, you will retire and find out you need to work more. (No one is hiring someone that dumb.)

5 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not put your house up for sale until after the drawing. If you do, at best, you will sell it and need to find another. At worst, you will sell your house and find you don’t have enough money to buy one of similar value. ( The bank just said you don’t qualify for a loan.)

4 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not tell your boss exactly what you think of them before the drawing. If you do, at best, your boss will send you for a mental evaluation, and all will be forgotten. At worst, you will say things you want to retract, but you know a retraction is impossible even as you pack for your new assignment in North Korea. (Don’t forget the down jacket with the red star.)

3 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not avoid setting up a college fund. If you do, at best, your kids will be so bright and talented that they will win full scholarships to Ivy League schools. At worst, your kids will have to take jobs and loans to get through college and eventually find their way back to your basement. (Good to see them more frequently, right?).

2 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not invest in that oil well with your brother-in-law before the drawing. If you do, at best, you have given your brother-in-law a gift. At worst, the oil well came in dry. (I’m not sure that scratch-off ticket is going to help.)

1 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not buy that expensive gift for your partner before the drawing. If you do, at best, you will be thanked for the thought. At worst, you will have to return the gift and explain why you bought it in the first place. (Whichever way the excuse comes out, it will still sound like you have lost your mind.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Eggstravaganza

April 10, 2022April 10, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 99 Comments

Today we are going on an Easter Egg hunt and more. Our destination is Lakeway park, and it should be a lot of fun. We are catered by Café No Sé in Austin. Our entertainment is Shania Twain.

avocado toast, soft boiled egg, crème fraîche, arugula, Aleppo carrots
smoked salmon bagel, salmon, hard-boiled egg, pickled onion, tomato, caper scallion cream cheese, everything bagel
lemon-ricotta hotcakes, apple-thyme chutney, pecan butter, maple syrup
café scramble, roasted wild mushrooms, Fresno pepper, spinach, fresh ricotta, sourdough toast
sweet potato hash, two sunny eggs, crispy pork belly, kimchi, mustard greens, jalapeño, kale
cowboy breakfast, two sunny eggs, bacon, confit pork, borracho beans, tomato, roasted jalapeño, cilantro butter

Vegan plant protein can be substituted, and they offer any drink on the planet

So hop on, and we’ll be off.

Looks like a big turnout.

A favorite stop.

Always time for Ice cream.

Water and shave ice.

Face and body decorating.

Baskets for the easter egg grab.

The new Park& Rec digital billboard. Has the schedule for the various age group egg hunts.

A volunteer handing out candy. (Don’t ask)

The Easter Bunny.

Bubbles.

Petting zoo. Turtle, bunnies, chicken, guinea pig, and T-Rex.

The field for the 9 and 10-year-olds has been littered with 3000 eggs. Inside some of the eggs are prize notifications.

And there they go. Within three minutes, there was not an egg left.

Here’s where the prizes are handed out.

Chalk art competition underway.

Thank you, Lakeway Parks and Rec, for a successful event.

Now relax in the shade and enjoy the food and music.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “How”

April 9, 2022April 8, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 81 Comments

How to begin this week’s post is a conundrum. A start with a cup of coffee is always a smart thing. While waiting for the magic machine to pump out the life-giving elixir, contemplation can occur. Perhaps a mnemonic device is needed. Maybe a nonsensical phrase will work. How now, brown cow comes to mind. A rejection that phrase comes quickly since it provides no stimulus at all.

The coffee is ready, and so is the tone on my cell phone, indicating an incursion into the optical monitoring space on the front porch. The image on the phone is blurred, which then necessitates a physical check at the front door. Throwing back the deadbolt, turning the electronic lock to open, raising the steel bar, disengaging the electrical shock guard, the front door is ready to open.

A final check through the peephole indicates the porch area is vacant. The situation seems safe to open the door. Hand on the knob and a gentle tug inward exposes the inside to the outside. In the brightness of the sunlight, an image stands ready to engage.

“Have you seen that wascally wabbit?”

Yes, how it happened is a mystery, but before stands Elmer Fudd, shotgun and all. My question tumbles out of my mouth. “How did you get here?”

Fudd just stands there and blinks. There is reason to believe he has no idea how he got here either. He finally hands me a note and says, “Tell that wabbit I’m on his twail.” A nod from me, and Elmer turns and walks away.

The note is predictable and still leaves me with the question, How does Linda Hill get these things into these characters’ hands? Here is what it says. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “how.” Use the word “how” in your post. Bonus points if you start your post with it. Enjoy!

If you want to participate, you can go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/04/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-9-2022/

“We have to make this short.”

“Why?”

“Cause you ate up all the time with that stupid Elmer Fudd story.”

“I thought it was cute.”

“Cause you own this dump.”

“What side of the bed did you get up on?”

“How I get out of bed has nothing to do with anything.”

“Your bed is against the wall, right?”

“How did you know?”

“Just a wild guess given your reaction to my get out of bed question.”

“Let’s forget the bed, okay? I can’t believe how you divert the discussion.”

“So, what do you want to talk about?”

“Ever hear of beer.”

“Your one-track obsession, you mean?”

“Better than messing up a perfectly good prompt.”

“How did I mess it up? I started the post with the word “how” and used it.”

“Dragging that poor character in kicking and screaming.”

“He was on the porch.”

“You really believe this stuff don’t you?”

“What choice do I have?”

“Buying me a beer is a great alternative.”

“Okay, but it is just an experiment.”

“Of what.”

“To see if beer is a better alternative to fiction.”

“You admit it then?”

“Sure. By the way, can Elmer come too?”

“Gad. You are buying. Bring anyone you want. Let’s just go.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF – Fri-Yay/Good News

April 8, 2022April 7, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 94 Comments

Today’s Good News story comes from the United States Marines. Here is the story as told by NBC News in San Diego.

Good Boy: San Diego Marine’s Mascot Received a Major Promotion

Manny, the bulldog mascot, is moving up the ranks in the Marines

By Mackenzie Stafford • Published April 1, 2022, • Updated on April 2, 2022, at 8:33 am

U.S. Marine Corps Brig. Gen. Jason L. Morris, Commanding General of Marine Corps Recruit Depot (MCRD) San Diego and the Western Recruiting Region, congratulates Cpl. Manny during a promotion ceremony at MCRD San Diego, April 1, 2022. Manny was promoted to the rank of Corporal during the morning colors ceremony.

Photo by Cpl. Grace Kindred

A momentous military promotion from Lance Corporal to the rank of Corporal happened Friday at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot. The lucky receiver of this promotion? An English Bulldog named Manny, the depot mascot.

Manny has been representing the depot since 2019. He was named Manny in honor of Sergeant. Jonny R. Manuelito. Sr. Manuelito’s legacy is carried on by Manny, representing Manuelito’s work as one of the “Original 29” Navajo Code Talkers, according to the San Diego Marine Corp.

Photos: San Diego Marine’s Mascot Received a Major Promotion

U.S. Marine Corps Cpl. Manny, the Marine Corps Recruit Depot (MCRD) San Diego mascot, poses for a picture following his promotion ceremony at MCRD San Diego, April 1, 2022. Manny was named after Sgt. Johnny R. Manuelito, one of the original Navajo Code Talkers.

Photos by Cpl. Grace Kindred

The pure-bred English Bulldog was promoted during the Morning Colors Ceremony, honoring the American flag. The promotion had a great turnout of friends and family of the India Company, along with the 3rd Recruit Training Battalion, who graduated from recruitment training after the promotion ceremony.

Bulldogs have been connected to the Marines since the 1920s, when the Marines were looking for recruitment tactics and realized they needed a good mascot for their sports games. The addition of bulldog mascots at all of Marine’s sporting events brought “public attention and enhanced the morale and spirit of Marines,” according to the United States Marine Corps website. The spirit of the bulldog has continued on in the Marine Corps San Diego, with Manny being a good boy and becoming a Corporal.

Photos: Manny at work

U.S. Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Manny, the Marine Corps Recruit Depot (MCRD) San Diego mascot, examines an obstacle at MCRD March 14, 2022. Manny is the official mascot for the Western Recruiting Region. Log drills are utilized t strengthen the body and develop a strong character embodying our core values through teamwork.

Photos by Pfc. Max Noel

The Good news here is that recognition for a job well done is appreciated by everyone. Today’s John Ku talks about recognizing those who help make life easier. I hope you have a fabulous weekend.

A six lettered word,

Tells someone you are grateful . . .

And that they count – Thanks

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy

April 7, 2022April 6, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 96 Comments

“It looks like the noise monster has taken the leaves.”

“You have to believe the boss took care of them, Little One.”

“I kinda miss them. I liked the smell.”

“I don’t like walking on them. Those oak leaves stick to my paws.”

“You coming out to the patio?”

“I think I might take a sunbath here on the turf.”

“It gets mighty hot out there.”

“Yeah, but on these old bones, it sure feels good.”

“I think I’ll just enjoy the shade.”

“That is a good thing too.”

“You have to wonder what the stray dogs are doing now?”

“What brought that up?”

“Oh, I don’t know. We have such a nice life. I just don’t want to take it for granted.”

“You are sounding pretty philosophical today, Little One.”

“I suppose I am. Not to change the subject, but did you hear that?”

“Says the old philosopher with the attention span of a gnat.”

“What? I didn’t hear you.”

“I said I didn’t hear that.”

“Yeah, it was nothing.”

“Figures.”

Tuesday Anything possible – Kreative Kue #354 by Keith Channing

April 5, 2022April 4, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

The photo.

“What would you like for dinner, my love?”

“Hmm. Haven’t given it much thought.”

“Well, I’m going shopping so I thought I would give you a choice.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet. What are the possibilities?”

“I was thinking of a nice Ibis or two.”

“Oh goodness. I’m so tired of Ibis. Look at ’em all hanging around. I feel full just looking at them.”

“I know but they are very plentiful.”

“That may be the problem.”

“So give me an idea.”

“Let me think. I have had gazelle on my mind for a while.”

“Those things are hardly ever in stock. Besides at my age running them down can be a problem.”

“I get that. Okay, something slower but as delicious. I know water buffalo.”

“You know they are dangerous right?”

“But you are such an accomplished hunter you are always on top of your game.”

“Those things take some help and everyone is off to the plains for the summer.”

“Okay then just make it simple. Anything you run across will be good.”

“What about dessert?”

“Maybe a rabbit.”

“Oh, good choice. Okay, then I’m off.”

“Good hunting.”

“You are so funny. You know we should consider vegetarian.”

“What? Eat what our food eats? I don’t think so.”

“Just a thought my love.”

“I could just see me at the pride meeting telling everyone that I was eating grass. I’d be laughed out of the county.”

“Okay, settle. I’ll find some meat.”

“You are the best.”

Top Ten Writing Things Not to Discuss with Anyone Who’s Not a Writer

April 4, 2022April 3, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 98 Comments

Top Ten Writing Things Not to Discuss with Anyone Who’s Not a Writer

10 If you are a writer, do not discuss how hard it is to write. If you do, at best, you’ll get an eye roll. At worst, you’ll be talking to someone who disarms bombs for a living and will laugh out loud in your face. ( Your comments now seem so first-world, don’t they?)

9 If you are a writer, do not discuss your characters as if they are real. If you do, at best, you will find people avoiding you. At worst, you will be talking to someone who has an imaginary friend that they believe would be a perfect protagonist for your next book. (Sure, glad you mentioned them, right?)

8 If you are a writer, do not discuss your latest plot breakthrough. If you do, at best, you will be given laundry to do. At worst, the entire family will suddenly disappear, knowing you can’t wait to tell them how you solved the plot hole. (Maybe the weather is an excellent subject to discuss.)

7 If you are a writer, do not discuss your latest review. If you do, at best, you will be talking to someone who couldn’t care less. At worst, you could be talking to a person who just finished your book and had not thought of the negative points brought up by the reviewer and has to leave quickly to downgrade their review on Amazon. (I hear bourbon is an excellent treatment for foot in mouth disease.)

6 If you are a writer, do not discuss your book with friends. If you do., at best, they will all pledge to read and review your book, and you know they won’t. At worse, you will tell some spoilers, and the person you are regaling with the tale now has no reason to buy and read the book. (Might have been your only sale this month)

5 If you are a writer, do not discuss how hard it is to market your book. If you do, at best, the person you are talking to will not understand anything you are saying. At worst, they may ask, “Who forced you to write the damn thing anyway?” (The word touche has perfect application here.)

4 If you are a writer, do not discuss your book with your partner. If you do, at best, you will get a smile and a head nod. At worst, you might get some advice that you know you will not follow. (Your ignoring the guidance will only become critical if your partner reads it and sees you didn’t follow the advice.)

3 If you are a writer, do not discuss your royalty arrangements. If you do, at best, you will confirm that your writing is a hobby. At worst, you will demonstrate to others that you have entirely lost your mind in pursuing a writing career. (Maybe keeping that day job is a good idea.)

2 If you are a writer, do not discuss word counts. If you do, at best, the person who is listening to your minimum production will be polite enough not to walk away. At worst, you will be talking to someone who thinks one hundred of anything is a lot and will be so blown away with your thousands they will expect you to buy dinner. (The joy of being a word millionaire.)

1 If you are a writer, do not discuss formats, downloads, Amazon, cover art, fonts, or KDP. If you do, at best, the person will be so impressed that they won’t fall asleep immediately. (only temporary, however) At worst, your conversation will be interrupted by a phone call even if you didn’t hear the phone ring. (You were on a roll, and gotta wonder how long can a phone call last?)

Views of the Neighborhood – Talavera Tour

April 3, 2022April 3, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

Today we are going to cruise the neighborhood in search of Talavera pottery. Here is what we are looking for, according to Wikipedia.

Talavera pottery (Spanish: Talavera poblana) is a Mexican and Spanish pottery tradition from Talavera de la Reina, in Spain. The Mexican pottery is a type of majolica (faience) or tin-glazed earthenware, with a white base glaze typical of the type. It comes from the town of San Pablo del Monte (in Tlaxcala) and the cities of Puebla, Atlixco, Cholula, and Tecali (all these four latter in the state of Puebla), because of the quality of the natural clay found there and the tradition of production which goes back to the 16th century. So now we know. We are being catered by Plow Burgers in Austin. Just so you are aware, these burgers have no meat. Our entertainment is Creedence Clearwater Revival. I do have to apologize in advance for the quality of the photos. I was forced to take them pretty far away to avoid trespassing. (and possibly being shot)

100% PLANT-BASED | PLANTS LEAD OUR WAY!

Gluten-Free Bun provided by Misty Morning Bakery located in ATX

Talavera birdbath and old oak tree.

A pot in a flower bed.

A planter in front of a classic stucco and Mexican tile home.

Another pot in a flower bed with rock.

A mailbox topper and lamp. (Don’t ask)

A Talavera cow.

A watering can and frog.

A beautiful turtle

And we have seen this frog before.

I hope you enjoyed the tour. Now sit back, relax, have some food and enjoy CCR. I hope you have a great week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Tip”

April 2, 2022April 1, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 72 Comments

Taking my time with my coffee seems like a good way to welcome a Saturday morning. Listening to the cardinals do their imitation of the Jersey boys standing on the corner reminds me to check the mailbox for any hint of a prompt.

A move to the front door was interrupted by what sounded like some big guy doing a cannonball into a pool from a twelve-meter platform. A look into the backyard gave me a tip as to the source of the sound,

There was an Olympic size pool and diving platform where just last night was only turf and crossvine. It appears as if the execution of the cannonball caused a tsunami that has washed over the yard. There is a big guy swimming for the edge.

A yell causes him to look up at me standing on the porch, wondering where sandbags can be secured this early. I cup my mouth with my hands. “What are you doing?”

He yelled back, “The breaststroke.”

My mind gave him props for his comedic timing. However, my body screamed for him to get out of that pool and tell me what’s going on. I don’t have a pool and need to get to the bottom of this situation. The jamoke lumbered over and explained that he was an animator from Warner Brother’s studio and did all this animation on behalf of Linda Hill.

Of course, he did. He received a tip from me to rewind, erase, or whatever else one does to get rid of an animation scene. He handed me an envelope, and once the yard was back to normal, I opened it. Here is what it said. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “tip.” Use it as a noun or a verb. Have fun!

If you would like to join in on the fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/04/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-2-2022/

“You have gone off the deep end.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Who’s going to believe some guy drew a pool and then dove into it.”

“Technically, he jumped into it.”

“My point is, who’s going to believe that?”

“There is no reason to believe. It’s fiction.”

“So what are we supposed to do with it then?”

“Laugh, cry, shout, ignore, or anything else ty want to do.”

“Come on. Some guy draws a pool. Don’t you think that’s farfetched?”

“Let me give you a tip.”

“Ah, the prompt.”

“Yes, but that’s not why I’m giving you a tip.”

“So why?”

“To open your mind to the creative process.”

“So, what’s the tip.”

“Enjoy more. Question less.”

“That’s it.”

“Yup.”

“How do I apply that to life.”

“What if I drew a bottle of VooDoo Ranger right now.”

“I would rather have a real one, thank you.”

“Yes, but the drawing could remind you of your last experience.”

“I agree. It could.”

“Okay so here’s the bottle I drew.”

“Uh huh?”

“Take a tase.”

“Brother. Okay, I’ll humor you. Hummm.”

“What?”

“Tastes pretty good. A little dry maybe.”

“You’re kidding right?

“Of course. After all it’s your post.”

“You dog.”

“Let’s go get a real one.”

“After you.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF – Fri-Yay/Good News

April 1, 2022March 31, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

Today’s good news story comes from the Good News Network. Here is an excerpt. The whole story is HERE.

Danish Company Creates Children’s Book to Make Ukrainian Refugees Feel at Home – And it’s Adorable

Photo submitted to Mediabrands Content Studio

As millions of Ukrainian women and children take refuge in other European nations, one inspiring act of kindness by workers at a Denmark office of Mediabrands Content Studio is warming hearts and going viral.

With Denmark already haven taken in thousands of refugees, the Mediabrands branch was inspired to write and create a free children’s book for Ukrainian speakers called “Welcome to Denmark”.

The charming booklet introduces refugees to the country while highlighting the cultural similarities of the two cultures, to help make the new refugees feel safer and more at ease.

The publishing team was thrilled to be connected with a Ukrainian female refugee who agreed to translate the copy.

20,000 copies were printed, and the book’s availability was announced through social media, hoping people or local organizations might be able to use them.

72 hours later, all 20,000 copies were distributed. Their office was inundated with requests, so 20,000 more are currently being printed. [UPDATE: Following this GNN article’s publication, the company said they’ve received a total of 100,000 orders.]

Queries came in from Danish train, bus, and ferry companies that want to give them to newly arriving Ukrainian passengers. At the same time, it acts as a mini-phrasebook that can make it easier to make friends and understand many new things around them.