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Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Yawn”

~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

Stream of Consciousness

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “yawn.” Linda Hill asks us to write about the first thing we think about when reading the word “yawn.” If you would like to participate in this crazy fun go to Linda’s blog and read how. It is effortless. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2019/02/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-16-19/

Yawn by John W. Howell © 2019

“So what are the instructions?”

“To write about the first thing I think about when I see the word ‘yawn.”‘

“OMG. That is such an easy prompt.”

“Um. Not when it comes to my brain it isn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know most folks would think of sleepy or bored when they see the word yawn.”

“Yeah, that’s correct. What did you think about?”

“I’m almost afraid to tell you.”

“Oh, come on. We’ve known each other for years. You can tell me.”

“I think I would rather not. I’ll just do the prompt and write about a history class I had in college.”

“Now that would not be in keeping with the prompt. By the way what about that class?”

“Did you see the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?”

“Yes. Oh, you mean that scene where the high school teacher played by Ben Stein kept saying ‘Anyone, anyone,’ and was horribly boring?”

“That’s the scene. Well. This college professor was just like Ben Stein. He talked in a monotone and simply recited dates and facts of history. We could have read his lecture out of the book.”

“That must have been painful.”

“One day while half the class was asleep, the professor fell off the stage.”

“Oh my.”

“He was looking back over his shoulder doing his Ben Stein imitation and just walked off the stage. It was about a two-foot drop.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing. The class didn’t seem to notice. I think everyone had tuned him out so didn’t realize he had stopped talking.”

“What did you do””

“Called 9-1-1.”

“Was he okay?”

“Yup. Just a few bruises. I got an A in the class. He said I was the only one awake and deserved it.”

“Ha ha ha. So what did you think of first when you saw the word ‘yawn?'”

“Promise you won’t think me crazy.”

“Come on. Of course, I promise.”

“That I need to mow the lawn.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes. That is the first thing.”

“You have something wrong with you.”

“Damn.”

 

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 78 Comments
TGIF
“Come on, Lucy it’s Friday. let’s jump up and down on the couch”
“You go ahead. I’ll keep an eye out.”

 

Another week has gone by the wayside. Is it me or does time fly? I guess it could be a combination of both. I have had one of those weeks where I had to sit back and try to figure out what I accomplished. It was kind of strange to receive a notice from Grammarly on Tuesday that since 2015 they have checked 4,570,914 words with 17,000 last week alone. I guess this would indicate I’m doing something. Wouldn’t it? *crickets*

Not to belabor the fact that time is flying by I decided to let this week’s JohnKu speak for how I feel. I hope you have a great weekend.

Time by John W. Howell © 2019

You look up one day,

And you notice time has passed . . .

Invested wisely?

 

Thursday – A Little Personal – A Day Outside.

~ John W. Howell ~ 65 Comments

Twiggy and Lucy

“See these big tracks, Lucy?”

“Yes, Little One I see them.”

“I’m telling you there is a big machine up there somewhere.”

“Okay, Little One. Could you slow down a bit? The Boss and I are too old for this sprint.”

“Hows this? I’m almost standing still I’m going so slow.”

“Better Little One. Much better.”

“Ah. What did I say?”

“That there was a big machine up there. It is heading right for us.”

“Yeah. I see that. You. Yes, you. Big ole machine. Come and get it.”

“Hey, Boss. I’m not sure about this.”

“Let me at em. Let me at em. You want trouble machine you’ve come to the right spot.”

“I must say, Twiggy, you are frightening me.”

“Ha. Look at that. The machine has stopped.”

“You don’t suppose you’ve killed it do you?”

“That was some adventure Little One. You were very brave.”

“Aw, Lucy. That was nothing I was worried that the machine would hurt you.”

“But now we are safe in the backyard with no worries.”

“Yes, it feels good to rest after a battle, Lucy. Wait what is that?”

“You think that machine is in the neighborhood?”

“No Little Potato. It only works on the beach. You can relax. That was a truck.”

“They are a little worrisome too, Lucy.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 59 Comments
“So it is not Friday after all.”
“No Little Potato. It’s Wednesday.”

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we were present when Cortez paid a visit to Larry and Andrew. It was no surprise that Cortez said he had nothing to do with Sandusky’s murder. What was a surprise was to find out the engineer who reported that the medical equipment was not working ended up dead in a skiing accident. Cortez left the report that the engineer developed. We need to get back to Larry’s office since he and Andrew are trying to figure out the next step.

“I have to say the man has cheek.”

“What do you mean by that, Andrew.”

“He waltzes in here hands us a report, and then boldly denies he killed Sandusky.”

“What would you do?”

“I see your point.”

“The surprise to me was the engineer being killed.”

“Sounds fishy doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. I think we better look into that so-called accident. There might be a little more to it.”

“What is the engineer’s name? I’ll look him up on Google.”

“Let me see. Here it is at the bottom of the report. Alexis Rafferty.”

“Okay, here I go. A-l-e-x-i-s-r-a-f-e-r-t-y. Is that right?”

“Nope. Two fs”

“Okay got it. Here it is. The accident happened at Heavenly Ski Resort in South Lake Tahoe. Looks like he was doing a night trail and ran off into the trees.”

“Night skiing huh? Already sounds suspicious. Any quotes from the police?”

“Yeah. A captain Swartz was quoted as saying it was an unfortunate accident and our thoughts go to the family.”

“I think we ought to give Swartz a call and see what the official report stated. I wonder if they did an autopsy?”

“Most communities are part of a medical examiners data base. Let me do a query.”

“You go doc. How long will it take?”

“Twelve seconds Mr. Type A. Here it is.”

“What does it say?”

“Hold on let me read a little. Um hum. Yup. Yeah well, who would have guessed?”

“Damn Andrew. Can you share.”

“It looks like our Mr.Rafferty was bombed out of his mind. His BAC was 2.0. Not 0.02, but 2.0. I would imagine he would have a tough time walking let alone navigate a ski lift and skis.”

“I think we are needing to give Swartz a call. Also, any next of kin?”

“Let me go back to the story. Yes. He left a wife and a couple of kids.”

“Where are they?”

“The paper says Boston, but they might have moved by now.”

“Let’s see if we can track them down. I need to ask the wife about Rafferty’s drinking habits.”

“I’ll do a search.”

“Great. While You are doing that, I’ll give Swartz a call.”

“May take some time.”

“That’s okay. Yes hello. This is detective Dunfee of the Boston Police Department. I wonder if Captain Swartz is available? Yes, I can hold.”

“Is he there?”

“Not sure. I’m on hold.”

“The power of Dunfee.”

“Smartass. Oh no, I was talking to an associate. He’s not available huh? Would you please ask him to call me back? It is in regards to the Rafferty accident. Yes. That’s Dunfee. The number 617 555-5000. No extension. Just have him ask for me. Thank you. Oh, one more thing. Tell him it is urgent.”

“Maybe he is working a case.”

“Yeah, right. Not getting on the phone is number two on the suspicious list.”

“I’m sure everyone would drop what they are doing to talk to the famous Detective Dunfee.”

“Shut up, Andrew and find that wife.”

“Aye, aye, Legree.”

 

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 206 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The Photo

Kreative Kue #206

“I can’t understand frog. I said, ‘Hello little guy.’ Maybe you could sign or something.”
“For heaven’s sake. How about I use English?”
“Wow. You speak English?”
“No. The guy across the way is throwing his voice.”
“What guy?”
“Forget the guy. I was being facetious. I’m speaking English. What the heck is the matter with you?”
“You ask that? Here I am holding a frog in my hand who is speaking English.”
“Yeah so?”
“So? Don’t you think that is cause to be a little confused?”
“If I were human I suppose it would be a little unusual.”
“If you were human? What the heck are you.”
“What do I look like?”
“A frog.”
“Looks like a frog. Just might be a frog.”
“Are you from outer space.”
“Nope. From right here in Murphy’s swamp where you found me.”
“How did you learn to speak English?”
“How many times have you come to this swamp to read your poetry?”
“Yeah, hundreds.”
“It would take a fool not to be able to speak after listening to all those poems.”
“Which one did you like the best?”
“I think the question should be, ‘Which one was the least offensive.”‘
“That was cold.”
“You are right. I just can’t help myself.”
“Are you a poet?”
“No, but I do review poetry.”
“You do?”
“Yup. For the New York Times.”
“My gosh. What is your byline.”
“Phineus P Phrog.”
“You are Phineus P. Phrog? I can’t believe it. I worship your reviews. You’ve made the most famous poets with your elegant words.”
“My goodness, you make me blush which is not a good thing when the crane comes around.”
“Please tell me my poems are not that bad.”
“I have professional integrity to maintain. Between you and me I think I would find something else to do.”
“Don’t say that. I love to read and write poetry.”
“You don’t have to give up reading.”
“You are breaking my heart.”
“I have an idea.”
“What’s that?”
“I could make you my assistant.”
“Your assistant? That sounds wonderful. What would I have to do?”
“Well. there’s a matter of needing proofreading.”
“Yeah, I can do that.”
“The mail is horrendous. Maybe you could answer the mail.”
“Perfect.”
“Twitter?”
“All over it.”
“My Facebook page needs a redo.”
“Consider it done.”
“Deadlines?”
“I have a great organizational system.”
“My blog?”
“I’ll ghostwrite and post for you.”
“Flies.”
“Flies?”
“I eat a lot of flies.”
“You don’t catch your own?”
“No time.”
“Freeze-dried?”
“Last resort.”
“Deal.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do on the Mormon Exodus to Utah in 1846

~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

Top Ten Things Not to Do

 

This post continues the Top Ten Things Not to Do with a historical background. February 10th marks the anniversary of the beginning of the Mormon exodus from Nauvoo, Illinois to the Salt Lake Valley in Utah. The year was 1846, and the first Mormons began the long trek led by Brigham Young. If you have the ability to time travel, please take this list before joining the expedition. It could keep you out of trouble.

Top Ten Things Not to Do on the Mormon Exodus to Utah in 1846.

10 If you are on the trek, do not ask to borrow a cup of flour from your fellow traveler. If you do, at best they will pretend not to hear you. At worst, the trail captain will assume you have not rationed your supplies. (Everyone was told to be careful, Gizur. You now are ordered to the end of the line where it is rumored the mountain lion does her food shopping )

9 If you are on the trek, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ if you can ride in his handcart. If you do, at best he will think you are joking. At worst, Tiny, who just spent time in a group session on compromise, cannot refuse you. (In fact, Tiny insists that you take turns riding and pushing the cart. Let’s see, Glyn. You weigh 150 pounds and Tiny 300. This may be a long walk.)

8 If you are on the trek, do not think you can skip church service. If you do, you’ll be given a second chance. At worst, the elders will decide your fate. (You have found the elders do not have a sense of humor regarding missing church, Godofredo. It may be time to merely attend rather than have to pull that heavy wagon alone.)

7 If you are on the trek, do not ask, “Are we there yet?” just after leaving Illinois. If you do, at best no one will answer you. At worst, your wagon driver will require you to sit down a be quiet for the rest of the trip. (Talk about boring, Godwin. There is no license, or I Spy  game to play either.)

6 If you are on the trek, do not start singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall. If you do, at best your driver is not a Mormon.  At worst, you are in Brigham’s wagon, and now you have to walk. (Isn’t it strange, Goodwin how one man’s feast is another’s poison. Next time sing 99 bottles of sarsaparilla on the wall.)

5 If you are on the trek, do not wish out loud for a stop at Stuckey’s for a pecan roll. If you do, at best folks will think you have the spotted fever. At worst, you will be asked to describe a pecan roll. (Now you’ve done it, Gorka. Once you start talking about a pecan roll, you’ll be on your own with your next adventure trying to outrun the great American Brown bear.

4 If you are on the trek, do not think you need to tell ghost stories around the campfire. If you do, at best most will go to bed early. At worst, you’ll be stuck with old Zeke. (Wouldn’t you know it, Gothfraidh. Old Zeke tells stories that cause your hair to stand on end. No sleep for you tonight)

3 If you are on the trek, do not suggest a side trip to Yosemite Falls. If you do, at best you’ll get some strange looks. At worst, you will be able to take the side trip by yourself. (You only have 600 more miles, Govannon. Don’t worry about the bottoms of your shoes wearing out. You can always wear wooden sandals. Oh, that’s right. You left the ax behind.)

2 If you are on the trek, do not let your sourdough die. If you do, at best you might be able to get new starter. At worst, you will be without bread for the rest of the trip. (You were supposed to keep that dough going, Graeme. No one is going to give you their precious mixture. At least you can make porridge out of flour and water. UGH)

1 If you are on the trek, do not try to drive ahead of Brigham to enter the Salt Lake Valley ahead of him. If you do, at best others will see what you are trying to do and stop you. At worst you enter the valley ahead of Brigham (Can you imagine history recording that you were one of the first into the valley huh, Grandville? How would you feel having altered history in such a way? You would be the time traveler equivalent of a litterbug.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Adopt-A-Beach Clean up Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 81 Comments

Yesterday was a statewide Adopt-A-Beach Winter Clean up day sponsored by the Texas Land Office. Here in Port Aransas, the temperature was 40 degrees with an 18 mile an hour wind. Felt more like 34 degrees and spitting rain to boot. There were some brave souls who turned out to pick up litter and small plastic pieces

More than 512,000 volunteers have removed more than 9,495 tons of trash from Texas beaches since 1986. The next statewide cleanup is scheduled for April 20th.

I hope you enjoy the tour.

 

Views of the Neighborhood

A shout out to a sponsor.

The check-in table.

The wonderful people who set up the event and make sure all the volunteers have everything they need. (I know it looks like they are standing in Minnesota)

Nothing like a friendly fire to help keep warm.

A Texas Land Office truck.

Here is a form ready for check-in.

Volunteers get a calendar if they wish.

Some nice patches for your down jacket.

A favorite place that fire.

Someone has built a sand tribute to Jesus. Although a bit random, we see sculptures frequently. The sand becomes an excellent vehicle for expression.

A volunteer hard at work. Notice the raging waters behind him.

More volunteers braving the cold and picking up a bag, data card to record the type of trash, and a pencil.

It is tough to leave the fire but we must.

Here is the score for the day. We think there is a mistake in identifying the crab trap tag as from Tennessee since that is a landlocked state. It might be Louisiana.

Adopt -A -Beach

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “LY”

~ John W. Howell ~ 59 Comments

Stream of Consciousness

 

Amazingly, it is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “ly.” Yup. You read it right, “ly.” Linda Hill says to use an adverb as a prompt. There are bonus points for beginning and ending the post with an adverb. You now understand why I began the post with “amazingly.” If you would like to join in on this crazy fun simply (see what I did there)  visit Linda Hill’s blog and read how. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2019/02/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-9-19/

LY by John W. Howell © 2019

“Happily I’m back.”

“Really? Where have you been?”

“He asks absent-mindedly.”

“Truly I don’t know where you’ve been.”

“I love how you effortlessly ignore what I say to you.”

“Okay, now I urgently need to hear it again.”

“Lean closer because I’m going to repeat myself quietly.”

“I’m hungrily waiting for your words.”

“I told you gracefully the first time I was going out shopping with the girls.”

“Ah, now I remember. You and your band savagely attacking the retail establishments. How did it go?”

“We effortlessly maxed out our cards and had lunch to boot.”

“You unabashedly confess to overspending?”

“I think I would rather describe it as ‘remorsefully accepting the income limits.”‘

“I’m cheerfully grateful for the acceptance.”

“I eagerly await the next month.”

“I grimly await the next bill.”

“Grimly is way better than ruthlessly.”

 

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 80 Comments
“Twiggy. It’s Friday.”
“Step aside, Lucy. Let’s Boogie”

 

It is Friday again and looks like the country is in for another Polar Vortex. Man those things are nasty. I’m often asked how our weather fares when it gets so cold up North. Although we generally don’t get below 35 degrees, we do feel the temperatures at that level. The good part is the temperatures do not stay at those lows too long. Maybe one or two nights. The daytime under those conditions is in the ’50s. You can bet we have our warm weather gear on when it seems to us to be very chilly.

All n all we are very spoiled when it comes to temperatures. Our climate is such that it seldom gets above 85 degrees, so the summers are not as hot as inland. The only time the temperatures rise is when the Gulf temperature goes into the ’90s. Our air temperatures pretty much match the Gulf.

Well so much for talking about the weather. All else is fine and today’s JohnKu discusses what we talk about when there doesn’t seem to be any news. Have a great weekend.

The Weather by John W. Howell © 2019

We’ve said everything,

Embarrassed at the silence . . .

We talk of weather.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 61 Comments
Twiggy
“Tell me it’s Friday.”
“It’s Wednesday.”
“Tell me something else.”

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we were stunned to witness Cortez’s office call and make an appointment for a visit by none other than Cortez. It is close to three so let’s get over to Larry’s office. This should be interesting.

 

“Yes hello. He’s here? Okay give me one minute and then send him in.”

“So, what are you going to do, Larry?”

“I guess I’m going to hear what Cortez has to say.”

“I can’t believe he is coming to you. Reminds me of the mountain coming to Mohammed saying.”

“Yeah, kinda gives me the creeps. Let’s just play it cool and hear him out. Wait I hear the officer in the hall.”

“Sir, Mr. Cortez to see you.”

“Thank you, officer. My, what a pleasure Mr. Cortez. Please come in.”

“Thank you, detective. May I sit here.”

“Of course. You remember my associate Andrew Cummings.”

“Good to see you again, Mr. Cummings.”

“You can call me Andrew. Nice seeing you as well.”

“Well then call me Joachim.”

“I’m Larry, Joachim. Would you like a water or coffee?”

“No thank you, Larry. I’m good.”

“So, Andrew and I have been wondering what brings you down here to see us.”

“I think the last time we met, I was a little rude. I simply want to apologize.  I was having a bad day, and I think I took it out on you.”

“Please don’t give it a second thought. I know we all have had days where things just seem to go wrong.”

“Thank you for your understanding. I do want to clear up the point about the equipment working when my company received it.”

“That would be great, Joachim.”

“When we got the equipment from Louis, I had my engineer check it over. He told me he didn’t believe it would work.”

“Did he test it.”

“Not at the time. We did put it into a controlled test, and sure enough, it didn’t work. That’s why I refused to pay Louis.”

“Very understandable. May I ask if your engineer did any kind of report?”

“Yes, he did. Here is a copy.”

“Thank you. This is very helpful.”

“I have a question for you, Larry.”

“Go ahead by all means.”

“Why are you so interested in Sandusky’s death?”

“That is a good question. We have reason to believe his death was a murder.”

“And you suspect that I had something to do with it.”

“Well, we have no proof.”

“Let me assure you, detective. I had absolutely nothing to do with the death of Sandusky. As far as I was told he took his own life.”

“That is what was meant to be the message, Joachim. We suspect otherwise.”

“Let’s leave it at this. If I can be of assistance just let me know.”

“There is one thing that might help.”

“Name it.”

“Can we speak to the engineer?”

“I wish you could. Unfortunately, he was killed in a skiing accident last February.”

“Oh. I’m sorry for your loss. That is unfortunate. Is there anyone else who might understand the equipment?”

“I’ll have to think about that, detective. Now if you will excuse me. I have some other appointments in the downtown area.”

“Thank you again for your help. We’ll be in touch should we need more.”

“Anytime, detective. Nice meeting you Andrew.”

“My pleasure, Joachim.”

“The officer will escort you out. Good talking with you.”

“Thank you, detective. Good day to you both.”

“Don’t say anything Andrew he could still be close.”