Top Ten Things Not to Do During the 1849 California Gold Rush

September 3, 2018September 2, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

This edition continues the historical background on the Top Ten feature. I hope you like it.

10 If you are near the gold rush, do not sell everything to go mine gold. If you do, at best you will break even. At worst, you’ll find that you have blown your life savings chasing a dream. (Seems you could have found a better way to blow your money, Farquharson. You could try self-publishing.)

9 If you are near the gold rush, do not move that stake at the corner of Tiny the WWF champ’s claim. If you do, at best Tiny will let you put it back. At worst, Tiny figures you are jumping his claim. (No use even putting up a fight, Farrin. I would just lay there. Tiny is bound to lose interest sooner or later.)

8 If you are near the gold rush, do not hide your gold under the straw mattress on your cot. If you do, at best the lump will keep you awake. At worst, sadly that’s the first place a thief will look. (Well, now you need to start over, Farrs. With any luck, you get that gold dust back in another six months of panning.)

7 If you are near the gold rush, do not describe someone to his face as a sourdough. If you do, at best the person is too new to the file to know that a sourdough is someone from Canada who has come to California in search of Gold. At worst, the person might take exception to be labeled as a Canadian even if he is. (Might as well take it back, Farson. Looks like he is mighty angry.)

6 If you are near the gold rush, do not wear your 7 for All Mankind jeans to work. If you do, at best you will attract many stares. At worst, the Levi-Strauss salesperson might decide a gunfight is in order. (I guess you didn’t realize that Levi’s were the official jean of the gold rush huh, Favian. No worries, just buy a pair and all will be forgotten.)

5 If you are near the gold rush, do not announce any discoveries of gold. If you do, at best you’ll have more friends. At worst, the mob scene that will transpire is more than you can handle. (Your claim needs to be defended, Fedyenka. But do you really want to shoot someone?)

4 If you are near the gold rush, do not complain about the cost of food. If you do, at best you’ll be told to go elsewhere. At worst, the cook may decide that serving you requires more reimbursement and raises his prices again. (Funny, Felix but you are the only one paying more for everything.)

3 If you are near the gold rush, do not think you can set up a get rich quick wagon and tool rental business. If you do, at best all your tools will be rented out, and you’ll need to get more. At worst, none of the devices will be brought back, and the rentals do not cover the cost. (This was not how it was supposed to work, Fergus.)

2 If you are near the gold rush, do not drink whatever is in that bottle in the saloon. If you do, at best you won’t go blind. At worst, you might lose track of time and wake up three weeks from now broke and homeless. (Imagine if you’d had enough money to buy two bottles, Fiacre. You might not be with us right now.)

1 If you are near the gold rush, do not pan for gold. If you do, at best you won’t find any. At worst, you might pull a couple of specks out of the sand which will cause an extreme attack of gold fever. (Well that does it, Fidelis. You are hooked. See you in a couple of years when your money runs out.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Bailey Speaks

September 2, 2018September 1, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

“Hi. I’m Bailey, and the canine sisters finally gave me an opportunity to say hello. The reason I’m here as you may guess is to let you know Pops is still not in a position to be roaming around the neighborhood taking photos. I think he could have done it this week, but I heard him say something like, “The only photo opportunities this week are of Labor Day tourists and who wants to see those?” So, I was nominated to come and explain. I think Pops also wanted to give me an opportunity which Twiggy and Lucy had earlier. I hope next week we will all be back to normal. At least from a blog sense. You see there is nothing normal about our house. With that I see Lucy giving me the high sign. Have a super day and Happy Labor Day tomorrow.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Round

September 1, 2018August 31, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

Round about now it is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt is “round.” There are bonus points available if you start and end the post with the word round or a word that contains round. Now you know why my first sentence looks so weird. If you would like to knock yourself out for things like bonus points, maybe you should join our gang. It’s easy. Go to Linda Hill’s blog to read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/08/31/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1-18/

“I don’t get it.”

“What?”

“This thing that I ordered is supposed to be round.”

“That piece of wood?”

“Yeah. I specifically indicated on my order that it needed to be round.”

“So send it back.”

“Well, here’s the problem. It was custom engraved.”

“So you still should have a round one if that is what you ordered.”

“I suppose you are right. I just hate to go through the hassle of returning this one and then getting another.”

“I understand, but if it is not what you ordered, then they should make it right.”

Maybe I can make this one work.”

“Let me see it.”

“Here.”

“This is a square piece of wood that has been stained and finished and has the letters TOIT carved in the face.”

“Beautiful right?”

“Yes, it is gorgeous. What does it mean?”

“You know when you ask someone to do something?”

“Yes.”

“And they give you the old, “Yeah when I get around to it.”

“Like in the machine shop.”

“Exactly. I want to buy this thing and give it to the foreman.”

“Oh. You mean the round wood with TOIT carved in the face.”

“So when he gives me the old line I would hand him the round piece of wood and say, “Here is a round TOIT. Now get busy.”

“That is fabulous, and no a square TOIT just won’t cut it.”

“I see that now. So I will reorder.”

“Good idea. One more thing.”

“Yeah, what’s that.”

“When you hand that round TOIT to the foreman.”

“Yes.”

Make sure I’m around.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF Bailey Visits

August 31, 2018August 30, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

Another Friday is here and time to reflect on the week. I am happy to report the doc has released me to driving and outpatient physical therapy. This means that I hit all my mobility targets and am no longer on a walker. I still have a cane but expect that to go quickly. I am also pleased that I no longer need the pain meds and have a bit of a clearer mind. I am still not back to snuff on endurance so there might still be some photo opportunities that go by the wayside. We will just have to see. I know Bailey is a little put out she has not had a chance to stand in as a spokesdog. Perhaps this Sunday will be her turn.

Thank you all for your encouragement and good wishes. I can’t imagine how it would have been without you.

Today’s JohnKu talks about support. It is essential for all of us to help each other through those challenges that we are bound to face. Have a great weekend.

When the ocean turns,

From calm to deadly riptide. . .

A firm hand a joy.

A Little Personal – Tortured Soul by Staci Troilo – Book Launch

August 30, 2018August 29, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

Normally we would have a little story about Bailey, Lucy, and Twiggy but as you know it is hard for me to get photos and do PT at the same time. I am so pleased to have Staci Troilo as a guest to give you some more information about her new book Tortured Soul. Thank you, Staci for appearing on Fiction Favories.

Hi, John. Thank you for offering to host me here today. I know you write thrillers, so I thought your readers might be interested in one of the many action-packed scenes in my latest release, Tortured Soul, the fourth and final book of the Medici Protectorate series. And here it is:

Coz gave Toni’s hand a reassuring squeeze, promised he’d hurry back, then joined his brothers to do a sweep of the property. He took one last glance up the hill toward the villa they’d just vacated. Their group had more than doubled since they’d arrived in Italy, yet that compound had housed them all comfortably. Hopefully, the next place would be as accommodating.

As he was about to look away, the sky glowed orange. A loud boom echoed in the valley. The air around him reverberated with it. A cloud of smoke billowed to the heavens from where their compound stood.

Probably more accurate to say from where their compound once stood. By the size of the explosion, it had likely been reduced to rubble.

Teresa dashed from the convent, and the Notaro women leapt from their cars. Carmen and his men sprinted over to them.

“Was that—?” Toni’s eyes were wide, her face pale, noticeable even in the darkness.

“The compound,” Coz confirmed. He didn’t understand how the blast had happened. They’d only just left. Surely they would have seen approaching traffic on the road or a drone overhead.

“Oh, my God.” Teresa made the sign of the cross.

“Mike. And Rico.” Toni grabbed Coz’s arm. “Do you think they got out?”

What could he possibly say to reassure her? The odds of Mike and Rico fighting off an attack on their own and escaping unscathed were slim.

He didn’t want to think about it.

By the strangled sound Toni made, she’d arrived at the same conclusion.

There you have it. The story pretty much starts with a literal bang and the action only ramps up from there. I put all these characters through hell before the end… and I can’t guarantee everyone makes it out alive.

Blurb:

Protection is safety. Until it stifles.

After months of clandestine battles, the Brothers of the Medici Protectorate finally know who is responsible for the assassination attempts on the Notaro family, the secret descendants of the Medici line. And they’ve never faced such a formidable foe.

Roberto Cozza–Coz–faces this new reality with surprising pragmatism. His powers may make the difference in winning their covert war–if only he can master them in time. It would just be so much easier if he could get his emotions under control, but neither his Brothers nor their charges are making things easy on him.

Toni Notaro appreciates the security provided by the Brothers, but she knows she has her own role to play–and it terrifies her. She is the missing link in Coz mastering his emerging abilities, yet she struggles to bridge the gap between what he needs and what she can offer.

As the Brotherhood hurtles inexorably toward the climactic final showdown, Coz and Toni must find the strength within themselves and each other to master the secrets of his powers, or risk death and defeat for all they hold dear.

Universal Purchase Link

Author Bio and Links:

Staci Troilo writes because she has hundreds of stories in her head. She publishes because people told her she should share them. She’s a multi-genre author whose love for writing is only surpassed by her love for family and friends, and that relationship-centric focus is featured in her work.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

August 29, 2018August 27, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 43 Comments

” Psst. What day is it, Bailey?”

“Wednesday.”

“Hit snooze until Friday.”

Wednesday Story Day again and last week we saw Andrew let Paul take the tape to have it read at a supplier facility. Most of us wondered if that was such a good idea. Also, the cast seemed hell bent on getting something at the deli so none of us stepped up to question Andrew’s judgment. I’m pleased to say lunch hour is over and Paul is just getting to Larry’s office. Larry and Andrew had a nice Deli lunch and are just chatting when Paul comes through the door.

“Hey, guys.”

“Paul. Good to see you. Do you have any good news for us?”

“I do Andrew. Can I take a seat?”

“Of course, Paul. Excuse us. We seem to have lost our manners.”

“Since this is my office I will also ask if you would like some coffee.”

“Oh, No thanks, Larry. I just had an egg cream and am about to burst. Let me get the file out of my case.”

“Take your time Paul.”

“Yeah, Paul. We are actually on your time frame since you are the man of the hour.”

“Okay, you two. Let me cut to the chase. The tape I ran actually had a different file than the one currently in your records at the M.E.’s office.”

“Different how?”

“Here take a look. I brought two copies.”

“I have the one currently in the M.E.’s file.”

“Good, Larry. You guys can skip the first two pages because the two are identical. Turn to page three.”

“Oh my gosh. Here are all the notes that I made on the heart residue.”

“That’s right, Andrew. You said you had made additional comments and here they are.”

“You have two full pages of comments. I see you were of the belief that some kind of shock wave was used.”

“Notice I was careful not to say that was the definitive way the heart was destroyed.”

“I see that. You still believe that was the way, don’t you?”

“Off the record?”

“For heaven’s sake. Yes, off the record.”

“I do.”

“So why was it such a big deal to get our hands on this version of the autopsy?”

“So that we can establish a theoretical cause of death that was recorded at the time. This theoretical cause of death had a method that you have to admit was unusual.”

“To say the least.”

“So now all we have to do is figure out who might have the capability to explode a heart.”

“Don’t forget we need motive as well.”

“I think if we find out who can do the deed, then why will fall in pretty quickly.”

“Okay, now we have the file. Now what?

“We need to make sure it stays safe.”

“Hey, Paul.”

“Yes, Paula. I’ve been waiting to do that for years. Excuse me, Larry. What?”

“Did you make any copies of the backup while you were on the reader?”

“I sure did. I have a CD and thumb drive.”

“May I have them?”

“Uh. Sure. You don’t trust me?”

“I just would feel more comfortable if the chain of evidence is unbroken.”

“Yeah, okay. Here you go.”

“Thanks.”

“So Paul. I think we are done here.”

“Sure. If you need anything else let me know.”

“Will do, Paul.”

“Thanks, again, Paul.”

“You’re welcome, Andrew. Bye.”

“You were pretty rude to Paul.”

“Get over it, Andrew. We need to keep this pretty close to the vest. I don’t need an IT guy tweaking the file and losing the whole thing.”

You think he would do that?”

“Tweaking is in his DNA.”

“You’re the boss.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 189 by Keith Channing

August 28, 2018August 27, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 55 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.

The photo.

“So what is going on here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Who is this European looking woman?”

“She is my intern, Pasha.”

“Intern? Where is it written that you need an intern?”

“There is no writing as you well know. I just decided I needed a little help around here.”

“And so we are now deciding things without any advice from me?”

“I already know your advice. So rather than put you in a position of being wrong I proceeded to get an intern.”

“I suppose I should be grateful that you spared my feelings.”

“That is a good way to look at it. In fact, I think you owe me.”

“Owe you? Whatever for may I ask?”

“Keeping your manliness intact.”

“What if I forbid this intern thing?”

“Then you will have the embarrassing situation of what to do with a miscreant wife.”

“You would defy my wishes?”

“Oh no, my love. As long as you wished for anything other than the dismissal of the intern I would be pleased to fulfill them.”

“I’m confused.”

“A natural state of manhood my dear. Now run along and issue orders and demands of the livestock and leave Shirley and me to work.”

“Shirley? What kind of name is that?”

“She is from Long Island in the United States and is visiting our country for a few weeks.”

“Does she have a work visa?”

“Of course not, my dear. She is an unpaid intern. She does not need a work permit.”

“Where is her husband?”

“I think he went back to the US.”

“And left her here.”

“No. He ordered her to return with him.”

“And?”

“He is now faced with an embarrassing situation of what to do with a miscreant wife. There is a lesson here.”

“I will leave you two. Welcome to our family Shirley.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Battle of the Alamo

August 27, 2018August 26, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 80 Comments

The inspiration for this list is the idea of matching Ten Things Not to Do with historical events. I hope you enjoy this one.

10 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not think offering margaritas all around is going to help anything. If you do, at best everyone will be too busy to take you up on the offer. At worst only the best shooters on your side decided to have a couple and now can’t hit the broad side of a barn. (I guess you were hoping the Mexicans would be in a similar shape huh, Fritz?)

9 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ if you can borrow his gun. If you do, at best he’ll just say no. At worst, since he extremely nearsighted he may mistake you for a Mexican soldier and give you a body slam over the wall. (It only hurts getting up, Felco so I would just lay there.)

8 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not walk around eating a bean burrito. If you do, at best you will have to share. At worst, from far away a sharpshooter may mistake you for a Mexican Federal soldier. ( I know you were hungry, Freddie, but the food of the day is hardtack and salt pork. Tortillas are the other side food of the day.)

7 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not wear your Santa Anna Sucks t-shirt. If you do, at best no one will notice. At worst, Santa Anna will want it as a souvenir. ( I think you heard him right, Faris. He said he didn’t care if it was bloodstained or not. Just give it to him.)

6 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not ask Davy Crockett for an autograph. If you do, at best he’ll just laugh. At worst, he’ll give you a lesson in flying. (You could flap your arms harder, Farid but I think you are going to hit the ground pretty hard. That wall is quite high.)

5 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not tell someone you know all about cannons if you don’t. If you do, at best you won’t be asked to fill in on one. At worst, you’ll be put in charge of the only cannon that guards the entrance. (Now what did the manual say, Fabumi? Load the ball then light the fuse? Or was it the other way around? You better hurry looks like those doors won’t last another minute.)

4 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not think it is time to start Spanish lessons. If you do, at best you may learn a few words. At worst, whether or not you speak Spanish will not help you in the end. (It looks like the order of the day is take no prisoners, Fadeyka. I think it’s going to take a little more than a few “holas” and “Buenos Dias” to save you.)

3 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not think that sombrero and serape will be an effective disguise. If you do, at best no one will laugh at you. At worst the troops will consider you a spy. (You know what they do to spies, Fallon. Dump that outfit now.)

2 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not wave that “Come and Take It” cannon flag from the Battle of Gonzales. If you do, at best you will make the Mexicans angry. At worst, you will be singled out for elimination. (That flag has been a sore spot since the Texas revolution began, Falk. No need to start that fire again.)

1 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not make plans for your summer holiday. If you do, at best your heirs will have to cancel. At worst, you may lose some of your deposits. (I guess no one told you that getting out of the Alamo was a feet-first proposition huh, Farnley?)

Views of the Neighborhood – Twiggy Speaks

August 26, 2018August 25, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

“Hi everyone. My name’s Twiggy. I just am taking a short break from playing in the dirt. Lucy kind of forced me to come out here and let you know that Dad will not be posting a Views of the Neighborhood. See he has this walker thingy and no approval from the doctor to be out snapping photos. So the Producer suggests he wait until he gets the authorization. What Lucy? Oh Yeah. He’s fine and healing nicely. So Hopefully next week there will be a Views and if not maybe the next time. If not— Okay Lucy wants me to say have a good week. Goodby.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Notice

August 25, 2018August 24, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 79 Comments

It is Stream Of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt is, “notice.” Linda Hill says we can use “notice,” any way we want. If you would like to join in on the fun visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/08/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-25-18/

“Would you look at this?”

“What?”

“This notice in the newspaper.”

“Let me see it.”

“Read that part about more taxes.”

“OMG. The county is raising the tax rate. Can they do that?”

“Yes, if they publish a notice they can.”

“Well, this looks like a notice to me. How about if we just ignore it.”

“Ignore it? Then what?”

“When it comes time to pay the taxes we’ll just say we never got the notice.”

“Doesn’t work that way.”

“Why not?”