Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we saw Sheriff Gibson try to Bogart Lucas into confessing a crime. Good thing Lucas had a lawyer tell him to keep his mouth shut. No telling what beans he would have spilled. I see the Private detective is in lawyer McDonnell’s office. I think we may get some information that might help clear up this mess. I know if there are facts in this case Dan Antion will be more than pleased. Let’s get over there and pick up the conversation.

“So you went up to Kenosha?”

“Yeah, I sure did. Man, that is some out-of-the-way place.”

“Find anything interesting up there?”

“I did find a great steakhouse, but I’m sure that’s not what you want to hear about.”

“Quite correct. Start from the beginning. When did you go there?”

“After you and I talked, I did the usual background scan on the Severides, Gibson, and the Wilson woman. Nothing much came up. The Severides were an ordinary couple. He retired from the Kenosha police force. His daughter Trish went to college and got busted for controlled substance possession. Did some time in a treatment center as her sentence. She came out and went to work. She held a job at the hotel on the front desk. Seems like she went straight cause there was nothing else in the file.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. The Weston woman was married to Gibson. They split on the irreconcilable differences excuse.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, as you know, most of the time it is usually a matter of infidelity or too much fighting. I really couldn’t tell by the court documents. They split everything fifty-fifty, so there was no accusation of fault.”

“Did you find anything out in Kenosha?”

“Oh, you bet. Wait one second though. There’s more on the Weston woman. She also had a stint in rehab. Officially it was to kick pain pills, but I suspect it was more serious than that.”

“How serious?”

“Big-time cocaine serious. It looks like she had an affair with a Harriet Murphy and then somehow went off the deep end. It was food for gossip for weeks.  She was found unconscious in the public park. No charges were filed, but the officer’s report was clear on the fact that charges should have been filed.”

“This sounds like the sheriff got in the middle.”

“No doubt about it. The record indicated that there was not enough evidence to charge her even though the arresting officer indicated there was over an ounce of cocaine on her person.”
“If the report said that, how did Gibson squash an arrest?”
“Yeah, I should have been clearer. The report said nothing. I talked to the arresting officer, and with a little help from my friend Jack Black, he spilled the beans. He called me the next day to beg for my discretion. I told him his secret is safe with me.”

“That is obstruction of justice.”

“Yeah, to you. To me, it is an ex-hubby trying to keep his wife out of trouble. Now the big question is why would he go to that trouble to bail out his ex-wife who maybe cheated on him?”

“You have an answer?”

“You have any coffee? This could be a long story.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #145 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keith@channing.info before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.

The Photo.

Kreative Kue #145

The Stall by John W. Howell © 2017

“I’m waiting.”

“I know, I know. I need to take my time.”

“Time? Time to do what?”

“If you must know choosing the right fabric for my dress is very important.”

“I agree it is important if you were marring the right man.”

“Now Mom. Let’s not get into that again.”

“The that which you mention is a the heart of my discontent.”

“Why mom? You know he is a man after my heart.”

“Oh, I’m sure he is after much more than your heart, my dear.”

“Not this again. For the last time, he doesn’t want any part of our family money.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Okay, he will sign a document saying he doesn’t want anything from you or dad.”

“He told you this?”

“Yes, he did.”

“This boy has a job?”

“He’s a man, and yes, he has a job. A good job.”

“Doing what?”

“He is a banker.”

“A banker? This sounds promising.”

“Well, I’m finished with my note.”

“Read it to me before you give it to the clerk.”

“Okay, mom. Here it is. Please take this fabric and put it in a bag. This is a holdup. We are desperate fugitives and will not hesitate to kill you if you don’t do what we say. Do not call for help. How’s that?”

“I think that part of desperate fugitives and killing is a little strong.”

“How about, this is a holdup and please do what we say, and no one gets hurt?”

“Much better dear. Go with that.”

 

 

Top Ten Things Not to Say to a Contractor

Top Ten Things Not to D0

 

The inspiration for this list has been a number of discussions held with contractors lately. Hope you like it.

10 Do not say to a contractor, “I’m in no rush.” If you do, at best the job will take longer than you could conceive. At worst, you’ll be on the bottom of the list of clients and your job might get done before you retire. (The fact that you are only forty is not comforting, Desmond.)

9 Do not say to a contractor, “I want your best price.” If you do, at best the bid will only be ten percent more than it would have been. At worst, your bid will come out somewhere North of what you expected to pay to rebuild the house let alone do repairs. (Hang on to that defibrillator, Dalton. You may need it when the actual bill is presented given all the change orders.)

8 Do not say to a contractor, “I have another bid to compare with yours.” If you do, at best you will actually get his bid. At worst, you will wait for a bid that will never come since the contractor figured you would take the other one anyway. (That strategy didn’t work well did it, Darren?)

7 Do not say to a contractor, “I really don’t know what I want.” If you do at best, it will cost plenty to find out. At worst, you may spend a lot of money and finally know what you don’t want. (That is sure an ugly addition don’t you think, Dustin?)

6 Do not say to a contractor, “Do what you think is best.” If you do, at best what is best for the contractor is best for you. At worst, what is best for the contractor is to send his child to college on the proceeds from your job. (Should have asked more questions, Davis.)

5 Do not say to a contractor, “I don’t mind a little dust.” If you do, at best your vacuum will keep up. At worst, you’ll find yourself in the ER with advanced symptoms of asthma. (You should have known when all the workers were wearing respirators, Deacon.)

4 Do not say to a contractor, “We get up early.” If you do, at best early is eight o’clock to the contractor. At worst, first light will bring you the wake-up sound of a skill saw in the next room. (Establishing the work hours might have been wise, Dwayne.)

3 Do not say to a contractor, “We can do without water for as long as it takes to fix.” If you do, at best the fix will be quick. At worst, the water will be shut off on Friday at three in the afternoon and the job is finished that next Monday at nine o’clock AM. (A nice long weekend without water for a three-hour repair is not a bad trade-off, right Darrell?)

2 Do not say to a contractor, “Help yourself to soft drinks and water.” If you do, at best there will be use only when needed. At worst, you didn’t realize that the contractor’s city-wide crew numbered thirty and you were out of liquid by noon. (Should have set a limit huh, Devan?)

1 Do not say to a contractor, “Sure you can come back later and finish that little job.” If you do, at best you’ve held back some money and it does get done. At worst, you paid the whole bill and it has been three months without a return phone call. (Good luck with that little job. Maybe you can hire another contractor to do it, Duane.”

Cherished Blogfest – One Photo – #CBF17

Cherished Blogfest

The Cherished Blogfest is an annual blogfest where we share something we cherish in a blog post. This blogfest began in 2015, and well over 100 people came together to share words, photos, poetry, and thoughts about a cherished item. Many of us established new blog friendships, which continue to this day.

I took a photo which I published on one of my Views of the Neighborhood feature which is now a cherished item. It captures the spirit of our city, Port Aransas hit hard by Hurricane Harvey. No more words are needed.

Texas Flag

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Season”

 

Stream of Consciousness

Season is the reason for this week’s Stream of Conscious Saturday session. Theis weeks prompt is “Season,” and Linda Hill said we could add a suffix to it as well. There are bonus points for the first, and last words of the post are “season” or a seasoning. If you would like to join in on the fun, please visit Linda Hill (midnight is best) and find out all about it. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/10/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-2117/

Oh yes, Linda said there would be extra bonus points if we had pictures. That is not going to happen.

Season by John W. Howell © 2017

“Deck the halls with Boston Charlie.”

“What are you doing?”

“Getting into the spirit of the season.”

“what season are you talking about?”

“The holiday season. You know the one no one can actually say anymore.”

“Are you nuts?”

“Why?”

“It is not even Halloween, and you are singing about the holidays.”

“I have to ask. What’s wrong with that?”

“You sound like a lunatic. There is Halloween, and Thanksgiving before the holidays. Why aren’t you singing about Halloween?”

“I don’t know any Halloween carols.”

“Your Boston Charlie isn’t exactly a carol either.”

“Oh, I get it. Okay, let’s try this.

Trick or treat for Halloween,

Load my bag with candy.

If you cheat me, I’ll get mean,

And play a trick that’s dandy.”

“Stop.”

“What’s the problem?”

“You are killing me. Go back to the holiday stuff.”

“I thought it was quite good.”

“I think songs don’t  cut it during the Halloween season.”

“Oh, I don’t know it could be a new thing.”

“Now you did it.”

‘What.”

“You added to the post. I had it finished and bonus points in the bag when I said ‘Halloween season.”‘

“You doing that prompt thing again?”

“Yes of course. Haven’t you noticed, it’s the only time I talk to you.”

“Now that you mention it, I do notice.”

“So what do you think?”

“Makes me think you are right.”

“Right? How?”

“We should end the post with the word season.”

 

Friday – JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

 

TGIF

 

Sorry about the early publish yesterday. Here is the real thing.

It is Friday again, and we can see the gateway to the weekend from here. This has been a busy week spent in meetings with contractors. The home repair situation is going to take a long time. We have adopted what we call the New Normal. It is the belief that all will get done but will take a long time to do it. We just heard the flooring people are so far behind that it might take six months to have the floors replaced. So, the New Normal is not to care if the floors ever get replaced. Then when they do it will be a bonus. The New Normal also dictates that those without a roof should be fixed first then replace ours. Today’s JohnKu talks about the New Normal reality.

Reality by John W. Howell © 2017

I need it fixed now,

Was the old expectation. . .

Now, whenever works.

Have a great weekend.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Lucy Learns About Life

Lucy

“Hey, Boss.”

“Hi, Lucy. How are things?

Lucy

“I’m a little worried about Stella.”

“Tell me.”

Lucy and Stella

“Well, I was going to chase her yesterday, and she wouldn’t take off.”

“Ah. Yes, Stella has arthritis, and it is progressing.”

Lucy

“Arthur Ritis? Let me at the guy.”

“It is not a guy, Lucy it is a condition that comes with old age. Notice Stella is sleeping more?”

Bailey

“I notice Pops. She is downstairs asleep right now.”

“Yes, Bailey. After all, Stella is almost seventeen years old.”

Stella

“Better give that to them in human years, John. Otherwise, they won’t get it.”

“Good idea Stella. I thought you were asleep downstairs.”

“Said the Einstein in the dog collar.”

Lucy

“Well, Lucy. Stella is over one hundred and nine years old.”

“Wow. Boss, that is old. I never realized. Is she okay?”

“She is feeling fine. Just much slower. I think your game of chase the kitty is over.”

“I see that, Boss. I hope she will be fine.”

“Sadly, Lucy you can’t stop time. We all have to prepare to say goodbye to those we love.”

Stella

“Good job, John. I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you, Stella. I love you.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

Hump Day Meme

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week it looked like Jason McDonnell was definitely taking measures to get more information on the circumstances around the murder of Lucas’ parents and the whereabouts of Trish, his sister. Oh oh, I see Sheriff Gibson approaching Lucas’ bed. We better hot-foot it over there to see what he wants.

“Hey, kid . How you doin’?”
“S-sheriff Gibson. What are you doing here?”
“Aw, I just stopped in to see how you were. Any law against that?”
“I thought my lawyer made it clear you and I should not talk if he isn’t here.”
“Oh, I know, kid. Don’t get your panties in a bunch. I’m not going to ask you anything. I sincerely want to know how you feel.”
“I’m fine, sheriff.”
“That’s good, son. Any idea when you are going home?”
“That’s a question, sheriff.”
“I suppose it is. Okay, let me say I hope you’ll be going home soon.”
“Thanks, sheriff. Any reason for wanting me home?”
“So, the question thing is not a one-way street. You just asked me one.”
“Sorry. I am confused as to why you have any concern about me.”
“Since you don’t pose that as a question I suppose I can give you some information. I would like you to go home so I can serve you with a warrant for your arrest.”
“Arrest. What for?”
“Uh. A question.”
“You want to arrest me when I go home. Let me guess. You think I killed my parents.”
“That’s a statement which I will confirm.”
“No more talk, sheriff.”
“Now son. I’m not sure you know how the system works. Let me explain something to you. If you go ahead and tell me you killed your parents, I will try everything under my power to get you the lightest sentence possible. On top of that, we will let the fact that your sister is nowhere to be found to remain an unsolved case. How would you like that?”
“Since you asked a question let me respond with another question. What is your problem?”
“I can see you don’t get the subtle nature of my offer. Let me just say I think I have enough evidence to put you away for a long time. If we can’t make a deal, then you will be looking at thirty years or maybe even the death penalty. I would think it over if I were you.”
“Thanks, sheriff. I don’t know why you are doing this, but I am certainly going to follow my lawyer’s advice and say no more.”
“Your choice kid. Don’t ever say I didn’t make an attempt to help you. Once they strap you on that gurney and start the slow drip to hell, I hope you remember this conversation.”
“I would appreciate it if you would leave, sheriff.”
“With pleasure kid. With pleasure. See you in the lockup.”

 

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #144 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words “Using this photo (Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keith@channing.info before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #144

Open Wide by John W. Howell © 2017

“I don’t think I would go in there.”

“Why not. It is just a stone closet.”

“A stone closet? I’m pretty sure it is a little more than that.”

“Oh, yeah? What do you think it is?”

“It looks like a spot where they used to torture people.”

“Oh, C’mon. This is not a torture chamber. It is too small.”

“Well, it gives me the creeps.”

“Nonsense. Here take my camera. I want a picture of me in this closet.”

“Okay, but I’m warning you for the last time. I have a funny feeling about this.”

“Here I’m going to stand while you take the picture.”

“Okay. Smile. Wait. Why do you have your mouth open like that?”

“Since you are such a nervous Nelly I thought I would look like I’m screaming.”

“Look here there is a little plaque on the wall.”

“What does it say?”

“Dr. Tooth.”

“Dr Tooth? What the?”

“It’s a dentist office.”

“That’s right ladies. I’m Dr. Tooth.”

“W-what? Who said that? Where are you?”

“Ha ha ha. I am everywhere. Now I need to see your teeth. Open wide. Let me see how many of these beauties need to come out.”

“Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do When You Are Bored

Top Ten Things not to do

 

The inspiration for this list was a daydreaming session where I wondered what it would be like to be bored and then what it would be like to make some bad choices as a result of being bored. I hope you like it.

10 If you are bored, do not attend a city council meeting. If you do at best, you’ll get a needed nap. At worst, you will attempt to liven things up with an outrageous proposal. ( You didn’t think the idea of a five-year-old taking over the mayor’s job would gain traction did you, Dylan? You make being the laughing-stock look like a legitimate profession.)

9 If you are bored, do not go to the grocery store. If you do, at best you will hope the paper goods section has been moved only to find it hasn’t. At worst, you will fill your cart and then jump into the ten items or less line being manned by Tiny the WWF champ. Tiny was just told by the manager he is too soft when it comes to demanding compliance with the ten or under rule. (You did hold your own for a while there, Drake.)

8 If you are bored, do not go to the park to watch a chess match. If you do, at best one of the players will move a piece. At worst, you will have the luck of observing two well-matched players for what turns into a ten-hour match. (Not sure what you were expecting, Douglass but this is not a contact sport.)

7 If you are bored, do not turn on reruns of the 90’s show “Cop Rock.” If you do, at best you’ll fall into a deep sleep. At worst, about mid-episode, you will suddenly realize watching paint dry is better than this. ( Thinking that you like music and cop shows, you thought this would be a winner right, Dean?)

6 If you are bored, do not take up a hobby that has been identified as most boring. If you do, at best you’ll snap out of it. At worst, your family will set up an intervention to stop your traffic cone collection activities. (Just because the living room is filled with traffic cones you didn’t see the hospitalization coming did you, Dexter?)

5 If you are bored, do not take up a hobby like bungee jumping. If you do, at best you’ll chicken out before the first jump. At worst, you’ll make a jump and then have to buy numerous copies of the video where you are screaming like a baby.(Oops. You missed the one that went viral on YouTube, Duke.)

4 If you are bored, do not go to Las Vegas for some excitement. If you do, at best your first thousand dollar loss will cure you. At worst, just for kicks, you put your life savings on the black spot at the roulette wheel. (Retirement is now put off until you are eighty-two, Drew?) Editor’s note –  Unfortunate alliteration.

3 If you are bored, do not plan to visit North Dakota. If you do, at best you’ll go in the summer. At worst, you’ll be caught in the snow and can look forward to playing solitaire until May. (Hopefully, you’ll have a deck of fifty-two, Dalton.)

2 If you are bored, do not organize something. If you do, at best it will be a half-hearted effort. At worst, you will get so wrapped up in the organization that you’ll take on signs of a classic OCD attack. (Just put that paper anywhere, Darren. You’ll never look at it again anyway.)

1 If you are bored, do not look up a list of what to do if you are bored. If you do, at best the list may be extensive. At worst you might do one of the items like “download the Bitmoji app. Make your personalized emoji, and then send all your friends fun cartoon texts.”* (Wonder where your friends went, Dane?)

*From 96 Things to Do When You’re Bored by Katie Sweeney. An excellent list of things to do.