Top Ten Things Not to Do When You Are Bored

Top Ten Things not to do

 

The inspiration for this list was a daydreaming session where I wondered what it would be like to be bored and then what it would be like to make some bad choices as a result of being bored. I hope you like it.

10 If you are bored, do not attend a city council meeting. If you do at best, you’ll get a needed nap. At worst, you will attempt to liven things up with an outrageous proposal. ( You didn’t think the idea of a five-year-old taking over the mayor’s job would gain traction did you, Dylan? You make being the laughing-stock look like a legitimate profession.)

9 If you are bored, do not go to the grocery store. If you do, at best you will hope the paper goods section has been moved only to find it hasn’t. At worst, you will fill your cart and then jump into the ten items or less line being manned by Tiny the WWF champ. Tiny was just told by the manager he is too soft when it comes to demanding compliance with the ten or under rule. (You did hold your own for a while there, Drake.)

8 If you are bored, do not go to the park to watch a chess match. If you do, at best one of the players will move a piece. At worst, you will have the luck of observing two well-matched players for what turns into a ten-hour match. (Not sure what you were expecting, Douglass but this is not a contact sport.)

7 If you are bored, do not turn on reruns of the 90’s show “Cop Rock.” If you do, at best you’ll fall into a deep sleep. At worst, about mid-episode, you will suddenly realize watching paint dry is better than this. ( Thinking that you like music and cop shows, you thought this would be a winner right, Dean?)

6 If you are bored, do not take up a hobby that has been identified as most boring. If you do, at best you’ll snap out of it. At worst, your family will set up an intervention to stop your traffic cone collection activities. (Just because the living room is filled with traffic cones you didn’t see the hospitalization coming did you, Dexter?)

5 If you are bored, do not take up a hobby like bungee jumping. If you do, at best you’ll chicken out before the first jump. At worst, you’ll make a jump and then have to buy numerous copies of the video where you are screaming like a baby.(Oops. You missed the one that went viral on YouTube, Duke.)

4 If you are bored, do not go to Las Vegas for some excitement. If you do, at best your first thousand dollar loss will cure you. At worst, just for kicks, you put your life savings on the black spot at the roulette wheel. (Retirement is now put off until you are eighty-two, Drew?) Editor’s note –  Unfortunate alliteration.

3 If you are bored, do not plan to visit North Dakota. If you do, at best you’ll go in the summer. At worst, you’ll be caught in the snow and can look forward to playing solitaire until May. (Hopefully, you’ll have a deck of fifty-two, Dalton.)

2 If you are bored, do not organize something. If you do, at best it will be a half-hearted effort. At worst, you will get so wrapped up in the organization that you’ll take on signs of a classic OCD attack. (Just put that paper anywhere, Darren. You’ll never look at it again anyway.)

1 If you are bored, do not look up a list of what to do if you are bored. If you do, at best the list may be extensive. At worst you might do one of the items like “download the Bitmoji app. Make your personalized emoji, and then send all your friends fun cartoon texts.”* (Wonder where your friends went, Dane?)

*From 96 Things to Do When You’re Bored by Katie Sweeney. An excellent list of things to do.

49 comments

  1. Loved the Cop Rock reference!

    1. Thank you, Phil. Pretty obscure for most folks.:-D

  2. This was great, John! I can’t recall the last time I was bored. Happy Monday!

    1. Me either. Too much to do. I think that’s what got me into daydreaming about being bored. You know, something you can’t have or do. 😀

  3. I love the meme at the top. If someone approached Tiny in the 10 Things line with more, they’re too dumb to live. I haven’t been bored since I was a child with three months of summer vacation and was growing up in a cottage in the woods. I wasn’t an outdoor person and my dad loved that place. Good list, John. 😀 — Suzanne

    1. Thanks, Suzanne. I can imagine being all alone in the woods must have made the summer very long. 🙂

  4. Thanks for the awesome share and so well written John.

    1. Thank you, Kamal for the visit and comment.

  5. Gwen Plano · ·

    Monday morning laughs are the best! I’ve never been to North Dakota, but when I make the journey, I’ll be sure to go in summer! 😀

    1. Yes. Winters there are forever. 😀

  6. I’m guilty of #9 so many times. Never goes well.

    1. There is plenty of opportunity for excitement. Just think of the argument with the store manager over being out of Asian hot sauce. 🙂

      1. And that’s why I’m not allowed in that store again. They take their condiments very seriously

  7. What a way to start off a Monday. 🙂 Great list.

    1. Thank you, Jan. 🙂

  8. LOL! Had to google Cop Rock – v.funny list today John! 😛

    1. Thanks, Jan. Not too many will get the Cop Rock reference. 😀 Just we vintage ones.

  9. Great list, John.

    I wasn’t bored at the time, but I did once volunteer to go to “the school board budget meeting.” Of course it wasn’t until after I agreed that they told me they were every Tuesday and Thursday in February 😦

    I was thinking that you should campaign to get a Tiny emoji added to the international list. Which one though…that’s the question

    1. Ha ha ha thank you, Dan. One of the problems with volunteering is the surprise number of meetings.

      1. They suck you in, and then ‘BAM’

      2. I know. Has happened to me a number of times.

  10. Another great list, John… your blogs prevent me from getting bored!

    1. I’m so glad, John. Thank you.

  11. Good morning, John,
    As to #5: if you measure the bungee cord a couple of feet too long, that’ll fix the problem permanently of what to (not) do when you’re bored. 😉
    Have a wonderful day [not bored, but not too exciting either],
    Pit

    1. Ha ha ha. That is a solution

  12. Love the pic – my cat chases his tail when he’s bored.

    1. I think that must be a riot.

  13. D.L Finn, Author · ·

    I can’t say I’ve ever watched a chess match or Cop Rock.:) Another great list that added a smile to my Monday morning!

    1. A smile is my reward. Thanks, DL

  14. LOL… I don’t remember Cop Rock — but I guess there is a reason for that!
    Excellent collection of “D” names, John.
    Have a marvelous Monday. Hugs!

    1. Thank you, Teagan :-D. Hugs

  15. Boredom isn’t something I suffer from, thank goodness. Probably stems from my childhood when an “I’m bored” grabbed my mom’s attention and she immediately found something distasteful for us kids to do (such as moving a stack of bricks from one side of the yard to the other!!)

    1. Ha ha ha. My mom would say, “read a book.”

      1. That wouldn’t have been “punishment”!!

      2. No. It was a redirect. 🙂

  16. Maybe start a blog 🙂
    I’ve also forgotten what boredom feels like. Exhaustion, yes, know that one.

  17. A great list, John. The one about the grocery store really made me laugh.

    1. Thanks for letting me know.

  18. Reblogged this on Author Don Massenzio and commented:
    Here is another great top ten list from a post on John Howell’s Fiction Favorites blog. This one is the top ten things not to do when you’re bored.

  19. […] Source: Top Ten Things Not to Do When You Are Bored […]

    1. Thank you for the reblog.

  20. Brilliant, dear John! And an extra sushi to your set: if you’re bored, don’t go to work! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    1. Ha ha ha. Good idea, Maria.

  21. Thanks for all the tips on boredom, John. I think I can just about remember the last time I was bored. It had something to do with having 11 items in the 10 items only queue. POW! I’ll never do that again.

    1. Yes. Danger is as danger does, Hugh. Be careful next time.

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