Top Ten Things Not to Do at a Super Bowl Celebration

Photo by Jonny Gios on Unsplash

 

Since the Super Bowl is this weekend, I thought I would pull some advice from a January 26th, 2015, post. It all seems to be relevant.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at a Super Bowl Celebration

10 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not arrive wearing team clothing for a team that is not playing. If you do, at best, everyone will think you are a sore loser or are drunk.  At worst, the crowd may come to the conclusion you’ve had a stroke or burst aneurysm and call for EMT support, and you will end up watching the game on a fifteen-inch screen next to the nurse’s station while waiting for an attending physician.

9 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, remember that many people like to watch the ads. If you forget and stand in front of the TV during commercial time, at best, you will be called many names in the process of getting you to move. At worst, the most enormous guy in the room, wanting to demonstrate his downfield tackling expertise, will use you as his dummy.

8 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not carry in your famous crab dip that must be kept at forty-two degrees or become a hazardous waste site. If you do, at best, the temp will stay near the required amount, and only one or two will be overcome. At worst, there will be no way to keep the dip cold enough, and you will have singlehandedly wiped out a full production day on Monday for several of the attendees, not to mention hurried trips to the ER for a prophylactic pump of the stomach

7 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not believe your host’s offer “to make yourself at home.”  If you do, at best, you will be embarrassed when someone asks you to take your feet off the couch. At worst, you will be totally shocked to discover the room you decided to use for a bath is the overflow bathroom for the party, and you will spend a good amount of time under the water.

6 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not be tempted to look into any drawers or behind any closed doors. If you do, at best, only the homeowner will notice the disturbed contents. At worst, the host, being a techie nerd, has installed cameras in each room, which play back on the fifty-inch screen that is beside the game screen to the amusement of everyone at the party. (Except the one you came with)

5 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not think that since the drinks are free, you should help yourself to the point of being over-served. If you do, at best, you might make a complete ass out of yourself, which others will find typical of a lowlife. At worst, you will find yourself disoriented while actively looking for the bathroom, which you imagined you had found in the large bureau in the corner of a spare bedroom, shortly before passing out on the carpet.

4 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not think your duty includes eating a portion of everything that is laid out on the buffet table. If you do, at best, several people will believe you have lost your job or are recently divorced.  At worst, your pile of food will be an indication that you need an intervention, which will be organized to take place after the game, to the embarrassment of you and the person with whom you attended the event.

3 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not be the first to suggest some kind of gambling scheme for the game. If you do, at best, several guests will think you make a living that way. At worst, you will have several disputes around who really won and will be forced to double-pay several to keep the peace.

2 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not become overly obnoxious when your team is ahead. If you do, at best, the lead will be short-lived. At worst, someone will take exception to your attitude since they feel bad about their team being behind. As much as they have tried to remain under control, as they learned in group therapy sessions, they are just beginning to lose their grip on reality while holding your shirt.

1 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not even think of driving your car if you have been drinking. If you do, there is no best or worst, just the potential for disaster for you or an innocent bystander.

Views of the Neighborhood – Leftover Holiday Decorations

Now that all the ice is gone from the neighborhood and the holidays are past, let’s take a tour and see how many decorations are left over. We are catered by Aba in Austin. Our entertainment is NSYNC.

Menu

BLACKBERRY DROP BISCUIT – blackberry compote, balsamic whipped cream

AVOCADO TOAST  – pomegranate, preserved lemon, mint

AÇAÍ BOWL – blueberry, banana, pomegranate, dukkah, coconut, mint

KHACHAPURI – baked egg, cremini mushroom, graviera, green onion

SHORT RIB SHAKSHUKA – local eggs, spicy harissa, graviera, roasted potato

KEFTA & EGGS – lamb & beef kefta, fried eggs, tzatziki, lemon dill rice

SHAWARMA-SPICED SKIRT STEAK & EGGS – fried eggs, crispy potato, tzatziki

JERUSALEM BAGEL & SMOKED SALMON SPREAD – sumac red onion, tomato, caper, labneh

Picture of an old time school bus

Let’s get on the bus.

Okay, we have some wreaths and lights. It could be a winter decoration, but maybe not.

Deflated penguin from Frozen. Not only left over but sad.

Definitely left over lights and a hat. Let’s not even discuss the green folks, dragons, and other stuff.

Definitely need to come down. Leftover decorations.

Holiday decorations for sure. I hope whatever is in the packages is water- and freeze-resistant.

Holiday lights for sure, unless these folks need the light to find the front door.

Could be playmates for the deer in the neighborhood. Nah. Leftover decoration

A beacon for the mail person? I don’t think so. Leftover decoration.

Yes, I had to take the photo from behind, but it still counts as a leftover decoration.

At least it is out of the house. So it doesn’t count as a leftover decoration.

We have finished the tour, and it is time for food and music. I hope you have a lovely week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Scratch An Itch”

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

A big ole mug of hot steaming golden elixir will scratch an itch that is accompanied by the screaming klaxon, low caffeine warning horn in my head. The salvation is delivered quickly, and the first sip reminds me how dependency can rule your life. The second sip is accompanied by the Saturday disruption of the Westminster chimes at the front door. Pulling Twiggy and Tempeste off the ceiling and giving them an incentive to enter the soundproof room with a fresh knuckle bone tossed in. Slamming the door brings back the silence that should be the norm for the day.

A check of the security monitor shows a visit from none other than someone who looks like Bugs Bunny. After the usual back-and-forth, it was determined that a signature for the delivery was needed. With a sigh, the process of shutting down the security system begins.

The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away.  The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement.  The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

After signing on the spot indicated, the Bugs look-a-like hands me an envelope and holds his paw out for a tip. “Here’s my tip. When it is scary to jump, that’s when you jump.” With that, the door was closed with me behind it. The envelope is from Linda Hill, and inside is a message. It reads: Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 31st and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “scratch an itch.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2026/01/30/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2026-daily-prompt-for-jan-31st/

Scratch an Itch By John W. Howell © 2026

“Pretty blunt with the bunny.”

“Well, he should know that when it’s time to jump, you have to jump, or you might be afraid to do so in the future.”

“Oh, I get it. Rabbit’s hop.”

“No, it’s a general statement. It’s easy to do stuff when there is no danger of failure. The hard stuff is when the risk of failure is high.”

“Did you go to a seminar this week?”

“No. Just a thought I had while the bunny was on the porch.”

“I see your ice is gone.”

“Yeah. When we moved to Texas, we gave away our snow shovel. So we have to wait for Mother Nature to take care of it.”

“Didn’t you move from California to Texas?”

“Yeah, but we hung on to that shovel for years after moving to California from the Midwest.”

“Who in California would want a snow shovel?”

“Our neighbor had a cabin in snow country.”

“Oh.”

“I need to scratch an itch.”

“What’s that?”

“I think it is VooDoo time.”

“Uber’s over there.”

Photo by Dan Antion

“That’s a 1941 Dodge pick-up.”

“It’s a beauty.”

“It can fit the three of us.”

“Yup.”

“What’s the catch?”

“It’s not bad.”

“Okay, then what is it?”

“We have to help milk the cows for the evening milking.”

“What? I’ve never milked a cow.”

“Don’t worry. It’s all done by machines. All we have to do is feed them.”

“How many?”

“Um. Four hundred.”

“You need smacked, you know that?”

“The ride is free.”

“Doesn’t sound free to me.”

“Come on. It will be fun.”

“They said.”

 

 

 

Friday JohnKu – TGIF – Fri-Yay/Good News

Courtesy of DC Snow Heroes / The Mayor’s Office of Community Affairs (via Instagram)

 

Today’s good news story comes from the Good News Network

With major thoroughfares taking priority for District plows and employees, the ‘DC Snow Heroes’ hit the blocks, shovels in hand, to clear sidewalks for the elderly, the young, the disabled, or even just the overwhelmed.

Organized by the mayor’s office, Serve DC is a volunteer program that includes a special segment whose mission it is to shovel snow and clear ice—both of which had accumulated in the District at the start of this week.

“As a community, we have to stick together, we have to do what we can do for one another, and it’s a lot of people that [are] unable to do things, so that’s where we come in,” David Ford, one of the Snow Heroes, told DC News Now.

“Service is the gateway to all success,” remarked another volunteer when asked why he volunteers his time shoveling snow.

The storm had dumped mounds of dry snow 10 inches high on Sunday, which promptly refroze over the evening, making it treacherous to walk on.

Volunteers cleared both the snow and the ice in front of homes like that of Shirley Thomas, a DC resident who needs a crutch to get around.

“It’s not too many people in the world like that,” she said watching the Snow Heroes do their heroics.

Organized by the mayor’s office of Muriel Bowser, anyone living in the area looking to be a hero, as David Bowie said, just for one day, can go to the Serve DC website.

“It is outstanding… This is really neighbors helping your neighbors, showing the kind of community and love that the mayor thrives off that we are building, and making sure that we sustain a district,” said Lamont Carey, Director of Community Affairs for the Mayor’s Office.

The good news in this story is that people are helping people. The JohnKu discusses Service. I hope you have a super weekend.

Helping  John W. Howell © 2026

No work is greater,

Then that done for another . . .

Grace is in sharing.

Here is a video with the story.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Tempeste Inside.

Here’s what was outside. Meanwhile inside.

“The puma makes a preemptive strike on the panther.”

“The panther is ready.”

“The puma does the famous step over maneuver.”

The panther does a kung fu kick, which takes the puma off guard.”

“The puma decides a clutch hold will work best.”

“The panther works to break the hold.”

“The puma brings the panther to the floor.”

“The panther prepares for another lunge.”

“The puma lets out a terrific roar.”

“The panther bares her sharp, shiny teeth.”

“The puma defends against the attempt at a choke hold.”

“The panther prepares to toss the puma to the mat.”

“The puma breaks away and does the defensive roll.”

“The panther follows up for the kill.”

“The puma grabs the panther in the death squeeze.”

“The panther begins to laugh since the death squeeze seems more like a hug.”

“The puma joins the laughter.”

“That was great, Twiggy. We should do this more often.”

“I agree, but like everything, the time has to be right.”

“Yeah, like when there is ice and snow outside.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – Approach

 

Today, I randomly opened Detour on the Eternal Road to page 67. With eyes closed, I pointed to the page. The word closest to my finger is “approach.” This is the prompt today.

Approach by John W. Howell © 2026

“Nice approach. Now let’s see you sink that one.”

“You know it makes me nervous when you are watching.”

“How can I help but watch. I’m right here.”

“Maybe you could just turn around and look the other way.”

“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. It can’t make that much difference.”

“But it does.”

“Why?”

“Well, I know you will be evaluating my technique.”

“Technique?” Oh, come on now. I’ve watched you sink hundreds. I don’t recall a technique.”

“So you say.”

“I’m serious. If you asked me to explain your so-called technique, I would be at a loss for words.”

“Could you humor me then?”

“And turn away?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, all right. I was going to offer some advice, though.”

“Like what?”

“Once you sink that bird, tuck it under a log. You can then come back for it.”

“That is a great suggestion. Where’d you learn that?”

“You know that old gator who hangs out in the West swamp?”

“Grumpy old fart?”

“That’s the one. That’s his approach to saving the game. He taught me that.”

“Well, okay. Thank you. Never mind the turnaround. Here I go. I know just the log.”

“When you come back, we’ll lie out in the sun.”

“I’d like that. See you soon.”

Top Ten Things Not to Say in a Doctor’s Office.

Photo by Online Marketing on Unsplash

 

This list was first published on January 18th 2016. Since we all end up in a doctor’s office sooner or later, I think it’s still useful.

Top Ten Things Not to Say in a Doctor’s Office.

10 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say “What’s up, doc?” If you do, at best, you’ll get a look. At worst, the doctor will decide a digital exam is a must-do. (You just had one of these the last time you were here, right?)

9 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “I’m not a doctor but play one on TV.” If you do, at best, you’ll get a chuckle. At worst, you will be asked for a diagnosis of yourself. (Who knows if you are right or not)

8 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “Do I get some painkillers?” If you do, at best, the doctor will make sure there are no refills. At worst, you will have to pass scrutiny to ensure you’re not a pillhead. (You thought it was an innocent remark, right, Bucky?)

7 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “Why am I still waiting? My time is valuable.” If you do, at best, you will feel better but will still wait longer. At worst, the minimum wage receptionist will accidentally slip your name down the list until you are first tomorrow. (Looking at your watch sixty times an hour won’t help either)

6 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “I can get this medicine on the internet at half the price.” If you do, at best, you will be ignored and will still get the prescription. At worst, you will be invited to buy your drugs online and to consult a doctor online as well. (Well. That didn’t work out the way you planned, did it, Homer?)

5 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “I have filled out these forms ten times already.” If you do, at best, you will get a kindly smile and a request to fill out the form. At worst, you will be branded a troublemaker, and the clerk will make sure you will need to complete the form until your last day on Earth. (Would have been easier to fill out the form one more time and hope for the best.)

4 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “How soon will the doctor be in to see me?” If you do, at best, the answer will be the same as you’ve heard while waiting on the phone for customer service.”The doctor is busy with other patients and will be here shortly.” At worst, the nurse will inform the doctor that you are in a rush, and he’ll be in and out of your exam room in twenty seconds. (I hope he is right about the need for a barium enema. Aren’t you?)

3 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say,” Please file that insurance paperwork for me.” If you do, at best, the reimbursement will be delayed. At worst, the clerk will quit next Wednesday and toss all the incomplete paperwork in the wastebasket. (Well, it was only a $125.00 after all)

2 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “This is not how Doctor Smith handled me.” If you do, at best, you’ll be informed that Dr. Smith is no longer your doctor and “we” know best. At worst, you will be kindly asked to join Dr. Smith, who is currently working with Doctors Without Borders in the jungle somewhere. (Dr. Smith wasn’t all that good after all, right?)

1 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “I just can’t lose weight no matter what I do.” If you do, at best, you will be given an extensive list of foods you can eat and asked to keep a diary for the next month. At worst, the doctor will provide you with some medicine that makes everything you eat taste like cod liver oil. (Now we both know no such drug exists, so tell me why it works.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Getting Ready for Iceageddon

Today, we are going to tour the neighborhood to see how folks have prepared for the below-freezing temperatures that will persist until Monday. Texas has not been spared from the misery of the massive winter storm that has affected over 240 million Americans. We are catered by Briskets in Austin. Our entertainment is Foreigner.

Menu

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Take Another Look”

 

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

The coffee machine sits in silence, waiting for orders. As a hapless slave to a caffeine addiction, there is no way to tolerate a malfunction. Yet the message on the touch pad screen says, “Message 666 see owners manual.” Flipping through the pages, message 666 finally pops up before my caffeine-starved, red-rimmed eyes. “Take Another Look,” was all it said. Looking back at the touchpad screen, the message reads “Got Cha,” and then the menu appears. Shaking my head, the two coffee selections are made, and my patience is rewarded with an eight-ounce mug of brain-saving elixir.

One sip, and the Westminster chimes and Igor’s hounds all begin a cacophony that threatens the eardrums. A quick toss of doggie treats for each and the slamming of the door to the soundproof room brings silence to the Earth. A glance at the security monitor shows Frosty the Snowman on the porch. Of course, the attempt is made to have the delivery left, but as usual, a signature is needed. With a sigh, the security shut-down process begins.

The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the security system’s shutdown process. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away.  The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement.  The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

Frosty points to the clipboard where to sign. After he hands me an envelope and holds out a mitten hand in the classic tip gesture,  the tip of the day is delivered. “Better go and play before you melt away.” Stepping back through the front door, I give it a mighty slam. The envelope is from Linda Hill, and the message inside reads: Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 24th and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “take another look.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2026/01/23/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2026-daily-prompt-for-jan-24th/

Take Another Look by John W. Howell © 2026

“What was Frosty the snowman doing in Texas?”

“Taking advantage of the below-freezing temperatures today, tomorrow, and Monday.”

“Wow. That’s not right. You Southerners aren’t built for that kind of weather.”

“No kidding. We wear knitted caps and gloves when it hits 50 degrees (10 C).”

“A bunch of weenies if you ask me.”

“You are the first to squeal when it hits 100 (37.7 C) in the summer.”

“Who wouldn’t?”

“Not Texans.”

“Whatever. We need to get to the pub, and the Uber is over there.”

Photo by Dan Antion

“Wait a minute. We can’t go in that.”

“Why?”

“It only seats two, and it’s freezing out here.”

“Take another look. There is a backseat.”

“Who’s going to squeeze in there?”

“I will. There is one errand we have to make, though.”

“Uh huh. I thought so.”

“It’s an easy one.”

“What is it?”

“We need to drop off some moonshine on the way.”

“You are kidding, right?”

“No, this is a real-life Smoky and the Bandit.”

“Can I say no?”

“And miss a VooDoo Ranger?”

“My better judgment says, ‘Pass.” I’ll meet you at the pub.

“Okay, then I’ll stay with you. Let’s call another Uber.”

“Good thinking.”

 

Friday JohnKu – AKA -TGIF – Fri-Yay/Good News

 

A Miyawaki forest field planting

Today’s good news story comes from the Community Impact Newsletter. Thanks to The Producer for sending it to me.

St. Edward’s University partners with H-E-B to plant first Central Texas Tiny Forest

St. Edward’s University in Austin, Texas and H-E-B grocery chain have collaborated to create the first Tiny Forest in Austin and Central Texas to help improve canopy cover in communities throughout Austin.
St. Edward’s University and H-E-B have partnered to grow Austin and Central Texas’s first Tiny Forest using the Miyawaki Method. (Courtesy St. Edward’s University)

How it works

On Jan. 17, H-E-B team members, community volunteers, university students, faculty, and staff joined together to plant 54 square meters with 164 trees and shrubs.

The project uses the Miyawaki Method, an approach that enables trees to grow 10 times faster and seclude 10 times more carbon than traditional tree planting methods.

Arborist and sustainability coordinator Roy Johnson explained how the method differs from conventional tree planting.

“We can use this method to provide all of the benefits of conventional tree plantings, such as air and ground water filtration, erosion control, and cooling the air through evapotranspiration,” Johnson said. “However, using this specific and detailed method, trees can be expected to grow much faster than conventional plantings.”

Through this method, the trees planted at the event are expected to reach full maturity within the community’s lifetime, as stated in a news release.

Natural resources intern Veronica Chavez said the project will reduce the negative effects of urbanization on the local community.

“Even on just a local level, a tiny forest can improve air quality, help with stormwater management, and provide a cooling effect for the surrounding areas,” Chavez said. “It also becomes a habitat for local wildlife and pollinators, encouraging increased biodiversity in the area.”

On Jan. 17, community members, students, faculty and H-E-B partners joined together to plant 164 trees and shrubs for the Tiny Forest. (Courtesy St. Edward's University)
On Jan. 17, community members, students, faculty and H-E-B partners joined together to plant 164 trees and shrubs for the Tiny Forest. (Courtesy St. Edward’s University)

The background

According to the news release, the Miyawaki Method crafted by botanist Akira Miyawaki was inspired by his time witnessing large-scale deforestation from World War II and overdevelopment in Japan.

The project is a proof-of-concept model that can be shared with overdeveloped communities in need of the benefits of trees, such as areas within the eastern crescent of Austin, which typically receive low tree equity scores.

The event marks the second year of the university’s collaboration with H-E-B through its Trees for Texans program, which aims to support healthier environments for schools, parks, and communities throughout Texas.

Get involved

Community members can directly help the Tiny Forest project by participating in a fringe mantel planting in the fall or reaching out to sustainability@stedwards.edu for information about how to plant a tiny forest in their community. Interested individuals can also stay updated with the forest by checking out its Instagram @Seu_food_forest.

Quote of note

“These tiny forests won’t check every box needed for climate change mitigation and environmental justice, but they have the ability to be a massive boost to both,” Johnson said. “It seemed like we should jump on the opportunity to start introducing this concept to Austin sooner rather than later. We are very excited about the potential and very pleased that the ball has started rolling.”

The good news in this story is that humans have found out how to quickly reforest the land for the betterment of all living things.  Today’s JohnKu talks about discovery from chaos. I hope you have a super weekend.
New Methods by John W. Howell © 2026
War ravaged the land,
Then a discovery was made . . .
Which benefits all.