This post ran on July 9, 2018. Since we all still go to dentists, it may be useful.
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Top Ten Things Not to Do When You Are in a Dentist’s Chair
The inspiration for this list was a routine visit to the dentist. Like all dentist offices, I could hear what was happening in several offices around me. I listened to some funny things and made up some of my own. I hope you enjoy this list
10 If you are in a dentist’s chair, do not try to answer the dentist’s questions while their hand is in your mouth. If you do, at best, your answer will be garbled and not understood. At worst, the dentist may come up missing a tool. (Yes, it is strange the dentist asks a question while you are incapable of speech, Elijah. Try to resist since that lost tool may be with you for a long time.)
9 If you are in a dentist’s chair, do not listen to Tiny the WWF champ whimper in the next room. If you do, at best, it may unnerve you. At worst, Tiny may catch sight of you as he leaves and will want to make sure you won’t gossip about his lack of fortitude. (That shadow passing over you as you go from the dentist’s office, Evan, is Tiny coming up from behind. Don’t think. Just drop and roll.)
8 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not ask about the cost of a procedure while it is underway. If you do, at best, you won’t like the answer. At worst, the dentist may decide to give you a discount, provided you can endure the procedure with no painkillers. ( You have to wonder, Ezekiel, why he keeps asking, “Is it safe?” from the movie Marathon Man. Yes, that is you making all that noise.)
7 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not try to read your chart when the Dentist leaves. If you do, at best, you won’t understand a thing. At worst, the hygienist will walk in just as you are leaning over backward with the chart in your hands. (How do you explain yourself, Edgar? You could have just asked to see your chart.)
6 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not think about the Italian sub you had for lunch. If you do, at best, you won’t open your mouth. At worst, you will try to explain your faux pas, all while the hygienist continues to spray mouthwash each time you open your mouth. (You wish the “ew” sound were a result of a different source, huh, Elliott?)
5 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not fool around with the controls. If you do, at best, you won’t get wet. At worst, you will cause possible complications from replacing the polishing tool function with a drilling tool function. (That hole in your front tooth is charming, Emmett. Maybe you can get a diamond to fit in there.)
4 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not think the dentist will be right in to see you. If you do, at best, your waiting time will seem even longer. At worst, you fell asleep and drooled all over that lovely napkin under your chin. (How do you explain the wet spot to the hygienist, Edwin? Try your Quasimodo impersonation. “Here. Take whistle. That is the only thing I hear. Blow if in trouble.” They will love it.)
3 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not remind yourself about that 32-ounce Big Gulp soda you finished on the way over here. If you do, at best, you will forgive yourself for not making a restroom stop. At worst, the dental staff will think you are a crack addict, given the amount of twitching and jumping you go through as you try to manage the specter of an accident. (Why is that little voice in your head still talking about Niagara Falls, Easton? Pretty self-defeating, I would say.)
2 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not acknowledge the rumbling inside of you. If you do, at best, your explanation of the sour kraut and corned beef sandwich will fall on unsympathetic ears. At worst, you may give your body permission to vent off the building pressure. (Nothing pleases people more in a closed room, Edmund.)
1 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not ask to hold a teddy bear before the procedure. If you do, at best, the staff will think you are joking. At worst, you will get the bear and a chart notation to watch for an emotional break in the future. (Ever wonder why everyone talks in a whisper when you visit the office, Ezequiel?)
The message on the coffee machine’s screen is very clear: No coffee until we are clean. Throwing hands up in the air, all peace seems lost until the second message flashes: It only takes two minutes; press start. Grabbing a piece of courage, pressing start saves the day. There is some noise, and then the magic message: All Clean.
The first sip brings the brain to life and reminds us to grab the clock. The time is set for September 20th, 1924, and the location is Washington, D.C. When the plunger is pulled, we find ourselves on the corner of Rhode Island Avenue N.W., M Street, and Connecticut Avenue N.W. in Washington, D.C. Here, the dedication of the Nuns of the Battlefield is a public artwork made in 1924 by Irish artist Jerome Connor.
The artwork honors the more than 600 nuns who served as nurses to both the Union and Confederate injured and ill troops during the US Civil War.
The lower right side of the relief is signed: JEROME CONNOR 1924
The lower left side of the relief is inscribed: BUREAU BROS. BRONZE FOUNDERS PHILA. ENN
On the granite above the relief is inscribed: THEY COMFORTED THE DYING, NURSED THE WOUNDED, CARRIED HOPE TO THE IMPRISONED, GAVE IN HIS NAME A DRINK OF WATER TO THE THIRSTY.
On the granite below the relief: TO THE MEMORY AND IN HONOR OF THE VARIOUS ORDERS OF SISTERS WHO GAVE THEIR SERVICES AS NURSES ON BATTLEFIELDS AND IN HOSPITALS DURING THE CIVIL WAR.
On the rear of the slab near the base is inscribed: ERECTED BY THE LADIES AUXILIARY TO THE ANCIENT ORDER OF HIBERNIANS OF AMERICA. A.D. 1924 BY AUTHORITY OF THE CONGRESS OF THE UNITED STATES
Just before the Temperance Union served lemonade, our alarm goes off, and we are in the comfort of the couch. A text has arrived from Linda Hill. It reads:
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “peace/piece.’” Use one, use them both (for bonus points), use them any way you’d like. Enjoy!
Nearly 90 million metric tons of planet-warming carbon have been found surrounding surf breaks worldwide, making these coastal locations essential climate allies and ideal locations for conservation efforts.
The news came from a groundbreaking study by conservationists examining forests, mangroves, and marshes around surf breaks—submerged features like rocks or reefs that create great surfing areas.
This is all the better for surfers themselves. Protecting these coastal ecosystems from development means more space and more waves for them.
Researchers analyzed more than 4,800 popular surf spots across 113 countries for the study. They found that immediately surrounding areas (within 0.6 miles or 1 kilometer of the waves) store over 88 million tons of irrecoverable carbon. That’s roughly equivalent to the annual emissions from 77 million gas-powered cars.
When the surrounding area is expanded to 3 kilometers or 1.8 miles, the amount of carbon stored in the ecosystem doubles to 191.7 million tons. According to the most up-to-date models, irrecoverable carbon refers to the carbon-rich lands humanity must protect to prevent the worst impacts of climate change.
“This research demonstrates the enormous role that protection of surf breaks and surrounding coastal areas can have in our global fight to reverse biodiversity loss and combat climate change,” said Scott Atkinson, a surfer, senior director of surf conservation at Conservation International, and an author of the study.
“Our study shows where we must now focus on legally protecting these areas. Surfers worldwide are fantastic allies for efforts like this—they love the ocean, know it is threatened, and are extremely motivated to protect it. They’ve been ‘on board,’ so to speak, helping to lead the establishment of all the Surf Protected Areas we’ve partnered to create.”
To date, Conservation International, which partners with surfers from the Save the Waves Coalition, has contributed to the establishment of 30 Surf-Protected Areas in Indonesia, Costa Rica, and Peru. These Areas are centered on surf breaks and seek to protect their larger surrounding ecosystems, including coastal forests, mangroves, beaches, seagrass, coral reefs, and the waves themselves.
Over half of these (23 Surf Protected Areas) have been established in Indonesia, which was used in the paper as a case study in creating an effective network of community-based protections. Collectively, the 23 locations form Indonesia’s initial Surf Protected Areas Network, covering more than 148,000 acres. This network can be expanded to hundreds of world-class surf sites across the incredibly biodiverse and carbon-rich country.
Atkinson also highlighted the positive impacts of the community-based Surf Protected Areas on Morotai Island in Indonesia, which is the focus of the paper’s case study.
“They protect precious marine and coastal ecosystems and strengthen community bonds and cultural heritage. Local people on Morotai have surfed on handmade wooden boards since at least World War II and have a strong surf culture,” he said.
“Additionally, local surf and conservation-related livelihoods are flourishing, with eco-friendly tourism and sustainable fishing practices becoming the norm. The community’s involvement in conservation efforts has fostered a sense of pride and ownership, showcasing the power of grassroots initiatives in achieving lasting environmental and social benefits.”
The good news in this story is that vital areas of conservation are being protected. Today’s JohnKu talks about the need for protection. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
This post ran on August 25, 2017. It may still be helpful.
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Top Ten Things Not to Say to a Contractor
This list was inspired by a number of discussions held with contractors lately. I hope you like it.
10 Do not say to a contractor, “I’m in no rush.” If you do, at best, the job will take longer than you could conceive. At worst, you’ll be at the bottom of the list of clients, and your job might get done before you retire. (The fact that you are only forty is not comforting, Desmond.)
9 Do not say to a contractor, “I want your best price.” If you do, at best, the bid will be only ten percent more than it would have been. At worst, your bid will come out somewhere North of what you expected to pay to rebuild the house, let alone do repairs. (Hang on to that defibrillator, Dalton. You may need it when the actual bill is presented, given all the change orders.)
8 Do not say to a contractor, “I have another bid to compare with yours.” If you do, at best, you will actually get his bid. At worst, you will wait for a bid that will never come since the contractor figured you would take the other one anyway. (That strategy didn’t work well, did it, Darren?)
7 Do not say to a contractor, “I really don’t know what I want.” If you do, at best, it will cost plenty to find out. At worst, you may spend a lot of money and finally know what you don’t want. (That is sure an ugly addition, don’t you think, Dustin?)
6 Do not say to a contractor, “Do what you think is best.” If you do, at best, what is best for the contractor is best for you. At worst, what is best for the contractor is to send his child to college on the proceeds from your job. (You should have asked more questions, Davis.)
5 Do not say to a contractor, “I don’t mind a little dust.” If you do, at best, your vacuum will keep up. At worst, you’ll find yourself in the ER with advanced symptoms of asthma. (You should have known when all the workers were wearing respirators, Deacon.)
4 Do not say to a contractor, “We get up early.” If you do, at best, it is early, at eight o’clock, to the contractor. At worst, the first light will bring you the wake-up sound of a Skill saw in the next room. (Establishing the work hours might have been wise, Dwayne.)
3 Do not say to a contractor, “We can do without water for as long as it takes to fix.” If you do, at best, the fix will be quick. At worst, the water will be shut off on Friday at three in the afternoon, and the job will be finished that next Monday at nine o’clock AM. (A nice long weekend without water for a three-hour repair is not a bad trade-off, right, Darrell?)
2 Do not say to a contractor, “Help yourself to soft drinks and water.” If you do, at best, they will be used only when needed. At worst, you didn’t realize that the contractor’s city-wide crew numbered thirty, and you were out of liquid by noon. (Should we have set a limit, huh, Devan?)
1 Do not say to a contractor, “Sure, you can return later and finish that little job.” If you do, at best, you’ve held back some money, and it gets done. At worst, you paid the whole bill, and it has been three months without a return phone call. (Good luck with that little job. Maybe you can hire another contractor to do it, Duane.”
Today, we are going to Lakeway Park for Spikeball Day. What is Spikeball? (Or Roundball as it is known too) It is a game with four players, a ball, and a trampoline. The idea is to bounce the ball off the trampoline toward the opposite two-person team. They have to return it back by bouncing it off the trampoline. If you want to know more, here is a link. https://spikeball.com/pages/official-rules
We are catered by Odd Duck of Austin. Our entertainment is (who else) Spike Jones.
The wait for coffee has my nerves on edge. I check my phone for messages, but there are none. That process took ten seconds of waiting time, so it is pure downtime until the soothing brew hits my cup. Ah, there they are, the first drops of the life-giving fuel followed by a full cup. With my brain fully functioning, it is time to turn to the clock. The year is 1924, and the day is September 13th. The location is Washington, D.C. The plunger is pulled, and we find ourselves at the retirement announcement of General Pershing.
General of the Armies John Joseph Pershing GCB (September 13, 1860 – July 15, 1948), nicknamed “Black Jack”, was a senior American United States Army officer. He served most famously as the American Expeditionary Forces(AEF) commander during World War I from 1917 to 1920. In addition to leading the AEF to victory in World War I, Pershing notably served as a mentor to many in the generation of generals who led the United States Army during World War II, including George C. Marshall, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Omar Bradley, Lesley J. McNair, George S. Patton, and Douglas MacArthur.
Upon reaching the age of 64 (as required by Department of War regulations at the time), The General was granted full pay and allowances for the rest of his life, as well as continued use of his office at the SWAN Building in Washington, which served as the headquarters of the Department of State, the Department of War, and the Department of the Navy. Pershing was succeeded as Army Chief of Staff by Major General John L. Hines.
Before the drinks were served, the alarm went off, and back on the couch, we landed. Checking my phone, a text has come in from Linda Hill. It reads:
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “phone.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!
