Top Ten Things Not to Say to a Contractor

~ John W. Howell

 

AI-generated image from Perchance.org

This post ran on August 25, 2017. It may still be helpful.

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Top Ten Things Not to Say to a Contractor

 

This list was inspired by a number of discussions held with contractors lately. I hope you like it.

10 Do not say to a contractor, “I’m in no rush.” If you do, at best, the job will take longer than you could conceive. At worst, you’ll be at the bottom of the list of clients, and your job might get done before you retire. (The fact that you are only forty is not comforting, Desmond.)

9 Do not say to a contractor, “I want your best price.” If you do, at best, the bid will be only ten percent more than it would have been. At worst, your bid will come out somewhere North of what you expected to pay to rebuild the house, let alone do repairs. (Hang on to that defibrillator, Dalton. You may need it when the actual bill is presented, given all the change orders.)

8 Do not say to a contractor, “I have another bid to compare with yours.” If you do, at best, you will actually get his bid. At worst, you will wait for a bid that will never come since the contractor figured you would take the other one anyway. (That strategy didn’t work well, did it, Darren?)

7 Do not say to a contractor, “I really don’t know what I want.” If you do, at best, it will cost plenty to find out. At worst, you may spend a lot of money and finally know what you don’t want. (That is sure an ugly addition, don’t you think, Dustin?)

6 Do not say to a contractor, “Do what you think is best.” If you do, at best, what is best for the contractor is best for you. At worst, what is best for the contractor is to send his child to college on the proceeds from your job. (You should have asked more questions, Davis.)

5 Do not say to a contractor, “I don’t mind a little dust.” If you do, at best, your vacuum will keep up. At worst, you’ll find yourself in the ER with advanced symptoms of asthma. (You should have known when all the workers were wearing respirators, Deacon.)

4 Do not say to a contractor, “We get up early.” If you do, at best, it is early, at eight o’clock, to the contractor. At worst, the first light will bring you the wake-up sound of a Skill saw in the next room. (Establishing the work hours might have been wise, Dwayne.)

3 Do not say to a contractor, “We can do without water for as long as it takes to fix.” If you do, at best, the fix will be quick. At worst, the water will be shut off on Friday at three in the afternoon, and the job will be finished that next Monday at nine o’clock AM. (A nice long weekend without water for a three-hour repair is not a bad trade-off, right, Darrell?)

2 Do not say to a contractor, “Help yourself to soft drinks and water.” If you do, at best, they will be used only when needed. At worst, you didn’t realize that the contractor’s city-wide crew numbered thirty, and you were out of liquid by noon. (Should we have set a limit, huh, Devan?)

1 Do not say to a contractor, “Sure, you can return later and finish that little job.” If you do, at best, you’ve held back some money, and it gets done. At worst, you paid the whole bill, and it has been three months without a return phone call. (Good luck with that little job. Maybe you can hire another contractor to do it, Duane.”

67 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Say to a Contractor”

  4. Having worked as a contractor, John, I can say this is a great list. The one that struck fear into my heart was #6, “Do what you think is best.” – That meant “This customer will not be happy when I’m done.”

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  14. Wonderful list, John, and obviously compiled from first-hand experience! Isn’t it fascinating how these guys know just how to take advantage of a homeowner’s good nature?

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  18. A “that’s the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth amen!” list if I ever read one, Boss. Contractors are the gift that keeps on taking, and if you color any gray areas, they’ll be more than happy to fill them in with green. YOUR green. And they’re not shy about finding more and more of it. Jesus Fuck Mike!

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      1. OMG … a couple of guys showed up this morning to pressure-wash and fix our porch roof … one of the many things we had hired a contractor for. Neither of us knew these guys were going to show up today, but we’re glad they are here!

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