Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

November 1, 2017October 31, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we got an earful from the private eye who explained that for some reason Sheriff Gibson tampered with some evidence to keep Alice from being arrested for cocaine possession. The question was,”Why would he help his ex-wife get out of trouble. The PI said he had the answer so let’s get back to the conversation and find out the reason.

“How’s the coffee?”
“Swell boss. I believe you asked why Gibson would help his wife with a drug charge, right?”
“Yes, it just doesn’t make any sense.”
“It does if the ex-wife had something on the sheriff and threatened to blab unless he helped her.”
“Is that what happened?”
“As I was digging into the Weston woman’s past I came across a reference to Trish Severide.”
“What do you mean a reference?”
“As I mentioned Trish did some in a rehab facility.”
“Yes.”
“It just so happened that the Weston woman worked in that facility as an administrator.”
“Odd coincidence wouldn’t you say?”
“Yeah, I think it is a little more than odd. I snooped around the facility but didn’t turn up a reason. I do know that when Trish was discharged Weston quit her job.”
“You think she was there to keep an eye on Trish?”
“Sounds that way to me. At this point, I also think maybe the sheriff was the one who told her to get a job there.”
“Why do you think that?”
“He was the one she used as a reference.”
“Now how do you find out information like that?”
“Let’s say if anything is written, scanned, and stored online I can look at it.”
“So you are making a connection between Alice Weston and the sheriff that caused the sheriff to squash a drug charge.”
“That is what I’m saying.”
“You have not proofed.”
“Wait until I talk to a few of the employees of the facility. I’m sure someone there has some information that will verify my theory.”
“I’m not sure it is going to be worth spending more money.”
“I think I can find out where Trish went and who killed the Saverides.”
“You just saying that to get the work?”
“No, I’m saying it because I think I can deliver.”
“Tell me you think my client did it.”
“I can clear your client. I’m almost sure of it.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #146

October 31, 2017October 30, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 39 Comments

Using Keith’s words.

“Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keith@channing.info before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.

The photo.

“My children, as we look over the beautiful countryside we must think of how vast the world is and how small we appear in relation to it. Ow.”

“OMG. The pastor was just stung by a bee.”

“Impossible. He is our leader and cannot be taken down by a humble bee. He is impervious to such mundane nuisances.”

“Can someone help me? I have been stung by a bee.”

“So much for the impervious leader.”

“I can’t believe it. Just last night he was walking on hot coals.”

“I knew it was a trick.”

“It was no trick. I supervised the building of the coals myself. I looked at his feet, and he had no burns.”

“So why is he in so much pain over a little bee sting.”

“I don’t know. Did you see him the day before lying on a bed of nails.”

“Yes, and I thought that was a trick as well.”

“You can’t be serious. Did you not see the marks on his skin with your own eyes?”

“Yes I saw them. So what is up with the bee?”

“I can’t imagine. I think I must approach him and ask.”

“Good luck with that.”

“My leader. How may I help you?”

“This bee caught me in a venerable place, and I need help.”

“But my leader you are a man of courage and faith. I watched as you tested your faith on coals and nails. Can’t your faith carry you through this bee sting?”

“My son. We all have points of vulnerability. It is the Creator’s way to keep us from getting too arrogant thus believing we can live without faith.”

“Oh, I see. So the bee found your point of vulnerability.”

“Do you remember the classics, my son? The story of Achilles?”

“Oh, yes my leader. He was strong and brave, but his heel was his point of vulnerability.”

“That’s correct. We refer to someone’s vulnerability as “An Achilles heel.”

“So the bee caught you in your Achilles heel.”

“I would say Achilles’ bum is more accurate. Help me to the infirmary. I need someone to take out the stinger.”

“The only person there is nurse Pradeep.”

“Yes. I know my son. Hurry.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do in Your Halloween Costume.

October 30, 2017October 29, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

The inspiration for this list was seeing a guy out in public in a Halloween costume. It struck me that he was unaware of the stares and reaction of those around him. Hope you enjoy.

10 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go into the bank to make a withdrawal. If you do, at best some will stare. At worst the teller will not look at your withdrawal slip but assume you are holding up the bank. (That zombie makeup had her rattled, Donald. Too bad the SWAT team had no sense of humor.)

9 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not think you have the same powers as the superhero you are dressed to be. If you do, at best you’ll hurt yourself. At worst you will think you can take on Tiny the WWF champ who is in step two of his anger management treatment. (Look like that cape is not going to save you, Dorian. I would just go limp, and maybe Tiny will think you are dead.)

8 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go shopping at the grocery store. If you do, at best you will have the aisles to yourself. At worst, the store manager will insist that you leave since most of his employees have locked themselves in the lounge and refused to come out. (It could be that the hatchet embedded in your skull looks too real, Dex.)

7 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go through the fast food drive-through. If you do, at best you may be wearing a chocolate milkshake. At worst, the panicked employee will call 911 and drop your food outside the window. (The police are understanding, but you still have no food, Dante.)

6 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not think you can attend the Saturday night church service. If you do, at best you’ll have a pew all to yourself. At worst, the minister will continually point in your direction when he comes to the phrase, “Devil worship.” ( You didn’t realize Halloween is not a big thing in your church huh, Dacey?)

5 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not keep your doctor’s appointment. If you do, at best you will empty the waiting room. At worst, your doctor will assume you have had a massive mental breakdown and will call the county home for a pickup. (The clown makeup and white straight jacket is quite a look, Dagwood.)

4 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not drive on the freeway. If you do, at best you’ll get some weird looks. At worst you will shock the fragile person in the vehicle next to you, and they will turn into your car as a defensive move. (The cop insists it’s your fault for scaring the wimp next to you, Dalbert.)

3 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go next door to borrow a cup of sugar. If you do, at best you won’t get the sugar. At worst, your NRA member next door neighbor will not recognize you and will only quit shooting when you dive into your house. (What would have happened if your neighbor was a good shot, Damek?)

2 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not exceed the speed limit. If you do, at best you’ll get home without incident. At worst, you’ll be pulled over and after all is said and done, lying on the street with your hands cuffed behind your back. (Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to dress as Pretty Boy Floyd after all. Although you have to admit that Tommy gun sure looked real, Dareau.)

1 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go through the TSA security screen at the airport. If you do, at best you will be denied boarding. At worst, the private search that turned up the sword, flintlock pistols, and the grog will be enough to charge you with terrorism. (The pirate idea sounded good at home, Dartagnan. In the airport? Not so much.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Halloween

October 29, 2017October 28, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 49 Comments

We had a cold front move in for Halloween. My photos this week show islanders bundled up like they are in Alaska. This weekend had two Halloween events pictured here. The first is the annual sand pumpkin carving event. The second is the Trunk or Treat event held in the park. I hope you like them.

The lifeguard was on duty even though it was fifty degrees.

A view of a professional rendering of pumpkins on the beach.

Kids and a mom carving the sand pumpkins.

A couple of youngsters getting started.

A different technique.

A boy and his dad.

Mom and Cowboy fan.

More reminders of how we feel.

The Cowboy fan agrees.

Old glory is never too far away these days. A reminder us of how fortunate we are to live here.

Now for the Trunk and Treat which took place in the late afternoon. You can tell by the long shadows.

Our department of Parks and Recreation is the best.

You can see how it works. Folks have their trunks full of goodies.

There are also freshly grilled hamburgers.

This couple had a well decorated golf cart.

Speaking of pirates.Nice crew.

A shot of children getting treats at a picnic shelter.

Some of the goodies.

A huge castle for jumping.

Little duckies with gift numbers.

The biggest bounce house on the planet.

Happy Halloween from the island.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “which/witch/wich.”

October 28, 2017October 27, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 42 Comments

Which day is today?

Stream of Consciousness Saturday of course. Today’s prompt is “which/witch/wich. Linda Hill also has some informative words. “Start your post with the word “which” and try to fit the word “witch” in somewhere if you can. Bonus points if you use a word that ends in “wich.” As an added rule this week, you will lose all the points you’ve ever earned if you type “which witch is which” anywhere in your post. Have fun!” You think it is easy being a prompt head, don’t you? Well, so far I’m okay. I started the post with which so I have that done. Now to work in witch and a word ending in wich. If you would like to become addicted to this fun visit Linda Hill’s blog at https://lindaghill.com/2017/10/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-2817/. You can read all about how to take the first dose.

“Which one are you?”

“I’m the guy who drove you home.”

“Oh. Did I thank you for that help?”

“No, not really. I think the barf in my front seat was thanks enough.”

“My word. I did that?”

“Yes.you did. Your friends took care of the backseat.”

“My friends?”

“Yes, that group of guys who were with you.”

“Wow. I don’t even remember a group of guys. By the way how come you are still here this morning?”

“You swallowed my keys.”

“I did what?”

“You thought I was too drunk to drive, so you took my keys and swallowed them.”

“Were you?”

“Too drunk?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t drink. You were definitely drunk though.”

“Yeah, I get that. Soooo where did you sleep?”

“On your couch.”

“Thank goodness. you weren’t in my bed then.

“No, I was not in your bed.”

“I am such a witch sometimes. Er, I don’t mean that to be a bad thing. Um, you are handsome and everything but I was too drunk for love.”

“I understand. I think I better get going.”

“What about your keys?”

“Oh, you got rid of them about three-thirty and threw them to me.”

“Don’t tell me I heaved the keys.”

“On my chest. On your couch.”

“How can I make it up to you?”

“It’s okay. It was an interesting time for sure.”

“But you must have been miserable.”

“No. I found that the experience broadened my view of life.”

“How so?”

“Made me aware of new rules.”

“New rules? Like what?”

“Before being forced from a party to drive someone like you home, always grab a sandwich.”

“A sandwich?”

“A sandwich.”

“Why a sandwich?”

“You’ll always have a choice of what to eat when you have a sandwich.”

Friday John Ku – AKA – TGIF

October 27, 2017October 26, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

Friday is here and time to look forward to the weekend. The week has been busy with the editing of the latest book titled The Contract. A story of two souls who must venture to Earth to stop a catastrophic event that is threatening the viability of the planet. They will have no memory of their eternal life once they occupy the bodies chosen for them. The two must deal with the situation using only the temporal skills of their host beings. They sign a contract before leaving their celestial home that stipulates what is required. They commit even though they have no guarantee of success but cannot resist the ultimate reward which is a personal anointing by the Creator. There is no room for failure. This book is a collaboration with Gwen Plano, the author of Letting Go Into Perfect Love, a 2017 KCT Int’l Literary Awards winner.

It has been an interesting engagement writing a book with another author. Gwen is a memoirist and of course, I write thrillers. Our writing styles and experience are quite different so bringing these differences together to produce a cogent story has been a lot of fun.

We are now in the editing stage and hope to be in a position to publish the book in February. There will be an opportunity for a beta read. The call will go out when the editing is done.

Today’s John Ku talks about working with others. I hope you have a great weekend.

To work by one’s self,

Is comfortable and safe. . .

But doesn’t teach much.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Play Outside

October 26, 2017October 25, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 49 Comments

“So Stella, what are you doing behind that chair?”

“Well. John, it’s like this. I can’t seem to find a place for a nap with those canines running around.”

“Come out here. That’s no place to nap.”

“Okay, John. I’m here.”

“What is the problem?”

“Whenever I try to lay down those oafs run over me.”

“That’s not good. What do you suggest?

“Take em outside and play doggie games with them. You know, heave something and have the fools go get it.”

“Alright Girls. Here is a toy.”

“OMG Boss. Please don’t throw it.”

“Yeah, Pops. We get the outdoor stuff. Not in the mood to put that dirty thing in my mouth.

“It’s not dirty, Bailey. Look.

“Bailey, don’t look. That thing looks like it has been outside for a month.”

“I just brought it out here. Honest.”

“Okay, Bailey. He threw it over there. I’m going to get up and take a look.”

“Go for it, Lucy. I’m staying right here.”

“Ya ha ha ha, Bailey. He actually washed it since the last time.”

“I told you two. It’s clean.”

“Let me see. Oh for heaven’s sake. Smells like Dawn.”

“You want clean, right? That’s what they use to get the oil off of birds.”

“Lucy. It may be just me, but I don’t even look like a bird do I?”

“No Bailey. You are a boxer. Boxers don’t play with toys that smell like Dawn.”

“Nice try, Boss. Bailey and I aren’t falling for it.”

“Yes, pops. You might as well hang it up. This toy is dead to us.”

“You guys stay out here. I’m going inside.

“Hey, Stella. Oops. I see you found a place to nap.”

“Huh. Sure did John. Any luck with the canines?”

“No, they didn’t want to play.”

“Too bad. Now maybe you could go outside and try again.”

“I think you are trying to get rid of me.”

“I don’t care what people say. I think you have a good grasp of the obvious.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

October 25, 2017October 24, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 39 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we saw Sheriff Gibson try to Bogart Lucas into confessing a crime. Good thing Lucas had a lawyer tell him to keep his mouth shut. No telling what beans he would have spilled. I see the Private detective is in lawyer McDonnell’s office. I think we may get some information that might help clear up this mess. I know if there are facts in this case Dan Antion will be more than pleased. Let’s get over there and pick up the conversation.

“So you went up to Kenosha?”

“Yeah, I sure did. Man, that is some out-of-the-way place.”

“Find anything interesting up there?”

“I did find a great steakhouse, but I’m sure that’s not what you want to hear about.”

“Quite correct. Start from the beginning. When did you go there?”

“After you and I talked, I did the usual background scan on the Severides, Gibson, and the Wilson woman. Nothing much came up. The Severides were an ordinary couple. He retired from the Kenosha police force. His daughter Trish went to college and got busted for controlled substance possession. Did some time in a treatment center as her sentence. She came out and went to work. She held a job at the hotel on the front desk. Seems like she went straight cause there was nothing else in the file.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. The Weston woman was married to Gibson. They split on the irreconcilable differences excuse.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, as you know, most of the time it is usually a matter of infidelity or too much fighting. I really couldn’t tell by the court documents. They split everything fifty-fifty, so there was no accusation of fault.”

“Did you find anything out in Kenosha?”

“Oh, you bet. Wait one second though. There’s more on the Weston woman. She also had a stint in rehab. Officially it was to kick pain pills, but I suspect it was more serious than that.”

“How serious?”

“Big-time cocaine serious. It looks like she had an affair with a Harriet Murphy and then somehow went off the deep end. It was food for gossip for weeks. She was found unconscious in the public park. No charges were filed, but the officer’s report was clear on the fact that charges should have been filed.”

“This sounds like the sheriff got in the middle.”

“No doubt about it. The record indicated that there was not enough evidence to charge her even though the arresting officer indicated there was over an ounce of cocaine on her person.”
“If the report said that, how did Gibson squash an arrest?”
“Yeah, I should have been clearer. The report said nothing. I talked to the arresting officer, and with a little help from my friend Jack Black, he spilled the beans. He called me the next day to beg for my discretion. I told him his secret is safe with me.”

“That is obstruction of justice.”

“Yeah, to you. To me, it is an ex-hubby trying to keep his wife out of trouble. Now the big question is why would he go to that trouble to bail out his ex-wife who maybe cheated on him?”

“You have an answer?”

“You have any coffee? This could be a long story.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #145 by Keith Channing

October 24, 2017October 23, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 34 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keith@channing.info before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.

The Photo.

“I’m waiting.”

“I know, I know. I need to take my time.”

“Time? Time to do what?”

“If you must know choosing the right fabric for my dress is very important.”

“I agree it is important if you were marring the right man.”

“Now Mom. Let’s not get into that again.”

“The that which you mention is a the heart of my discontent.”

“Why mom? You know he is a man after my heart.”

“Oh, I’m sure he is after much more than your heart, my dear.”

“Not this again. For the last time, he doesn’t want any part of our family money.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Okay, he will sign a document saying he doesn’t want anything from you or dad.”

“He told you this?”

“Yes, he did.”

“This boy has a job?”

“He’s a man, and yes, he has a job. A good job.”

“Doing what?”

“He is a banker.”

“A banker? This sounds promising.”

“Well, I’m finished with my note.”

“Read it to me before you give it to the clerk.”

“Okay, mom. Here it is. Please take this fabric and put it in a bag. This is a holdup. We are desperate fugitives and will not hesitate to kill you if you don’t do what we say. Do not call for help. How’s that?”

“I think that part of desperate fugitives and killing is a little strong.”

“How about, this is a holdup and please do what we say, and no one gets hurt?”

“Much better dear. Go with that.”

Top Ten Things Not to Say to a Contractor

October 23, 2017October 22, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 65 Comments

The inspiration for this list has been a number of discussions held with contractors lately. Hope you like it.

10 Do not say to a contractor, “I’m in no rush.” If you do, at best the job will take longer than you could conceive. At worst, you’ll be on the bottom of the list of clients and your job might get done before you retire. (The fact that you are only forty is not comforting, Desmond.)

9 Do not say to a contractor, “I want your best price.” If you do, at best the bid will only be ten percent more than it would have been. At worst, your bid will come out somewhere North of what you expected to pay to rebuild the house let alone do repairs. (Hang on to that defibrillator, Dalton. You may need it when the actual bill is presented given all the change orders.)

8 Do not say to a contractor, “I have another bid to compare with yours.” If you do, at best you will actually get his bid. At worst, you will wait for a bid that will never come since the contractor figured you would take the other one anyway. (That strategy didn’t work well did it, Darren?)

7 Do not say to a contractor, “I really don’t know what I want.” If you do at best, it will cost plenty to find out. At worst, you may spend a lot of money and finally know what you don’t want. (That is sure an ugly addition don’t you think, Dustin?)

6 Do not say to a contractor, “Do what you think is best.” If you do, at best what is best for the contractor is best for you. At worst, what is best for the contractor is to send his child to college on the proceeds from your job. (Should have asked more questions, Davis.)

5 Do not say to a contractor, “I don’t mind a little dust.” If you do, at best your vacuum will keep up. At worst, you’ll find yourself in the ER with advanced symptoms of asthma. (You should have known when all the workers were wearing respirators, Deacon.)

4 Do not say to a contractor, “We get up early.” If you do, at best early is eight o’clock to the contractor. At worst, first light will bring you the wake-up sound of a skill saw in the next room. (Establishing the work hours might have been wise, Dwayne.)

3 Do not say to a contractor, “We can do without water for as long as it takes to fix.” If you do, at best the fix will be quick. At worst, the water will be shut off on Friday at three in the afternoon and the job is finished that next Monday at nine o’clock AM. (A nice long weekend without water for a three-hour repair is not a bad trade-off, right Darrell?)

2 Do not say to a contractor, “Help yourself to soft drinks and water.” If you do, at best there will be use only when needed. At worst, you didn’t realize that the contractor’s city-wide crew numbered thirty and you were out of liquid by noon. (Should have set a limit huh, Devan?)

1 Do not say to a contractor, “Sure you can come back later and finish that little job.” If you do, at best you’ve held back some money and it does get done. At worst, you paid the whole bill and it has been three months without a return phone call. (Good luck with that little job. Maybe you can hire another contractor to do it, Duane.”