Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

February 6, 2019February 5, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 61 Comments

Twiggy — “Tell me it’s Friday.”
“It’s Wednesday.”
“Tell me something else.”

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we were stunned to witness Cortez’s office call and make an appointment for a visit by none other than Cortez. It is close to three so let’s get over to Larry’s office. This should be interesting.

“Yes hello. He’s here? Okay give me one minute and then send him in.”

“So, what are you going to do, Larry?”

“I guess I’m going to hear what Cortez has to say.”

“I can’t believe he is coming to you. Reminds me of the mountain coming to Mohammed saying.”

“Yeah, kinda gives me the creeps. Let’s just play it cool and hear him out. Wait I hear the officer in the hall.”

“Sir, Mr. Cortez to see you.”

“Thank you, officer. My, what a pleasure Mr. Cortez. Please come in.”

“Thank you, detective. May I sit here.”

“Of course. You remember my associate Andrew Cummings.”

“Good to see you again, Mr. Cummings.”

“You can call me Andrew. Nice seeing you as well.”

“Well then call me Joachim.”

“I’m Larry, Joachim. Would you like a water or coffee?”

“No thank you, Larry. I’m good.”

“So, Andrew and I have been wondering what brings you down here to see us.”

“I think the last time we met, I was a little rude. I simply want to apologize. I was having a bad day, and I think I took it out on you.”

“Please don’t give it a second thought. I know we all have had days where things just seem to go wrong.”

“Thank you for your understanding. I do want to clear up the point about the equipment working when my company received it.”

“That would be great, Joachim.”

“When we got the equipment from Louis, I had my engineer check it over. He told me he didn’t believe it would work.”

“Did he test it.”

“Not at the time. We did put it into a controlled test, and sure enough, it didn’t work. That’s why I refused to pay Louis.”

“Very understandable. May I ask if your engineer did any kind of report?”

“Yes, he did. Here is a copy.”

“Thank you. This is very helpful.”

“I have a question for you, Larry.”

“Go ahead by all means.”

“Why are you so interested in Sandusky’s death?”

“That is a good question. We have reason to believe his death was a murder.”

“And you suspect that I had something to do with it.”

“Well, we have no proof.”

“Let me assure you, detective. I had absolutely nothing to do with the death of Sandusky. As far as I was told he took his own life.”

“That is what was meant to be the message, Joachim. We suspect otherwise.”

“Let’s leave it at this. If I can be of assistance just let me know.”

“There is one thing that might help.”

“Name it.”

“Can we speak to the engineer?”

“I wish you could. Unfortunately, he was killed in a skiing accident last February.”

“Oh. I’m sorry for your loss. That is unfortunate. Is there anyone else who might understand the equipment?”

“I’ll have to think about that, detective. Now if you will excuse me. I have some other appointments in the downtown area.”

“Thank you again for your help. We’ll be in touch should we need more.”

“Anytime, detective. Nice meeting you Andrew.”

“My pleasure, Joachim.”

“The officer will escort you out. Good talking with you.”

“Thank you, detective. Good day to you both.”

“Don’t say anything Andrew he could still be close.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Founding of Facebook in 2004

February 4, 2019February 3, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 77 Comments

This post continues the Top Ten Things Not to Do with a historical background. On this day in 2004, Mark Zuckerberg founded Facebook in his Harvard dormitory room. If you were there or if you intend to time travel there are things that you should not do. Here is a list that will be handy and keep you from making mistakes.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Founding of Facebook in 2004.

10 If you are in Zuckerberg’s room, do not ask him to post pictures of your lunch. If you do, at best he’ll see you to the door. At worst, he will recognize that Facebook might not be the intellectual breakthrough he envisioned. (So now you are responsible for Zuckerberg returning to class, Georgio. The world has lost a game-changing innovation. Or not.)

9 If you are in Zuckerberg’s room, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ to give up his lower bunk so you can sit down. If you do, at best you’ll have to sit on the floor. At worst, Tiny who just returned from the student health clinic after his shock therapy might take your request as a threat to his personal space. (It looks like your training for the 100-meter run starts now, Gergely. Good luck on those stairs.)

8 If you are in Zuckerberg’s room, do not IM him with a request that he visit your Facebook page. If you do, at best he will ignore you. At worst, he will attend and leave you a succinct evaluation. (Wow, never thought you were that incompetent did you, German. Maybe those dancing minions were a little over the top.)

7 If you are in Zuckerberg’s room, do not start a Facebook group called “Zuck’s Zombies.” If you do, at best no one will join. At worst, Mark will figure out that you need to be controlled. (Looks like you have been banned for life, Gerred. Too bad since Facebook is only a day old. The good news is you are the poster child for all those banned with no reason given.)

6 If you are in Zuckerberg’s room, do not start stalking everyone who has signed up for the new service. If you do, at best there will be complaints, but no one knows who you are. At worse, you will be discovered as the perpetrator. (You should have thought this through, Gervase. There are only three of you signed up for the service so far.)

5 If you are in Zuckerberg’s room, do not ask Mark for the phone number of that attractive person in Shaw Hall. If you do, at best he will ignore you. At worst, your request will cause a deeper thought on how much information can be collected and then released to others. (Looks like your request set in motion a lot of data mining for the future, Gian You should call yourself Data Mine Alpha.)

4 If you are in Zuckerberg’s room, do not send out that list titled, Ten Reasons to Go Out with Me to your friend list. If you do, at best all will think you are joking. At worst, your friend list will drop by the number sent. (It appears even in the beginning no one likes SPAM, Gilfred. Well maybe you can start over with fresh friends.)

3 If you are in Zuckerberg’s room, do not send out a video of a cat playing the piano. If you do, at best you’ll get some “likes.” At worst, the ASPCA will want to talk to you regarding your treatment of a cat. (Looks like you were not as anonymous as you thought, Gilleasbuig.)

2 If you are in Zuckerberg’s room, do not tag twelve of your friends to name what they are grateful for today and ask them to tag twelve friends. If you do, at best all twelve will be too busy to see the post. At worst, all twelve will see the post but decide they don’t need this kind of work. (All in all, there will be about 3000 folks who will not know how lucky they are to have your original twelve ignore you, Giovani.)

1 If you are in Zuckerberg’s room, do not post a picture of your latest purchase. If you do, at best it is from Target. At worst, you put up an insanely overpriced luxury item from Neiman Marcus. (Well, Girvin you accomplished making everyone gag at your excessive spending behavior. And you thought they would all be happy for you. Isn’t being a narcissist trying at times?)

Views of the Neighborhood – The Eight Wonders of Port Aransas

February 3, 2019February 2, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 59 Comments

Of all the treasures in Port Aransas, the Museum has selected eight which have been labeled The Eight Wonders of Port Aransas. I thought it would be fun to take a look at what the museum considers the eight wonders.

Number one is the Lighthouse. Construction started in 1854, and the first light went on in 1857. The beacon could be seen as far out as seven miles into the Gulf. It was an operational lighthouse for Ninety -nine years before decommissioning. (photo courtesy of The Port Aransas Museum)

Number two is the jetties. There are two and were built to stop the erosion of the ship channel. Work was begun in 1862, but it was not until 1910 that the jetties were constructed finally strong enough to withstand the sea force.

The third is the Tarpon Inn. So named after a popular gamefish that is now extinct from the Port Aransas waters. The hotel was built in 1886 just when it was clear that the jetties would be successful in protecting the ship channel from deterioration. The channel meant new visitors and new business opportunity.

I couldn’t get the Tarpon Inn in one shot so here is another

The fourth wonder is the University of Texas Marine Science Institute. Established in 1941 the institute has educated thousands of scientists on how to move marine science forward. Here is a picture of the educational center.

The fifth is the Port Aransas Museum. It is housed in a building that was initially a “kit ” home built in 1914. It has been moved three times around the island. It served as the life-saving station from 1916 to 1925 and then a private residence for seventy-seven years until donated to the museum.

The sixth is the Farley Boat Works. Founded in 1915 the works made boats that could withstand the heavy surf around Port Aransas. They were used primarily as fishing boats. The works continued to make boats until 1970. In 2011 the Farley Boat Works began making crafts once again.

The seventh is the Chapel in the Dunes. It is atop the highest dune in Port Aransas. It was built in 1937 to serve as a devotional place for the Carter family. It also became the center for ice cream socials for the children of Port Aransas held by Arline Carter know as the “Angel Lady.”

Photo courtesy of The Port Aransas Museum

The eighth wonder is the Last Farley Boat. The last boat to leave the boat works. It was a finished hull bought by James Mayfield a local shrimper. He was going to have the shell made into a new shrimp boat. He never got around to it and instead inverted the hull to form a roof on his shop.

I hope you have enjoyed a glimpse of the Eight Wonders of Port Aransas

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Affirm”

February 2, 2019February 1, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 55 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is, “affirm.” Linda Hill is not offering bonus points this week but does advise us to have fun. So with that in mind if you would like to join this merry band who like nothing more than having fun, visit Linda’s blog to read how to become involved. It is effortless. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Feb. 2/19

“Hey there. Hello. Anyone home?”

“Oh, I’m sorry I was listening to a CD with my headphones on.”

“What you listening to, The Grateful Dead?”

“No, I’m listening to affirmations.”

“Affirmations? What the heck are affirmations?”

“It is a wonderful set of motivational speakers who talk regarding positive affirmations.”

“That tells me a lot. You can’t define a word using the word.”

“Yeah, I see that. Okay. These folks use soft words to help you feel good about what you are doing.”

“And you don’t feel good.”

“I feel terrific.”

“Why’s that?.”

“I think it is obvious.”

“Not to me.”

“Because I affirm I feel terrific.”

“How much did these CD’s cost you?”

“You just don’t understand.”

“I guess I have to wonder about self-affirmation.”

“I got it from all the other affirmations I received on the CDs.”

“Can you affirm me?”

“That might be hard.”

“Why?”

“Because you are a mess.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

February 1, 2019January 31, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 67 Comments

“Hey, Lucy. It’s Friday. Let’s kick out”
“You must be the smallest horse on the planet Little Potato.”

Another Friday has rolled around. The winter vortex is in full force. I’ve been getting reports from the North on terrifying stories about getting stranded in the cold. Reminds us all to take warm outerwear whenever we venture out. It is way too easy to be caught in the elements and then be made to suffer the effects of the cold.

Here in South Texas, we don’t have the kind of cold that is capable of taking life. We start to complain at 70 degrees and whine at 40 but don’t have to worry about a life-threatening situation. I hope everyone stays safe and remembers to toss in some heavy outdoor wear even if you are only going to the store.

Today’s JohnKu discusses the cold. I hope you all have a beautiful weekend.

Cold by John W. Howell © 2109

You can be taken,

Without even noticing . . .

How bitter the Temp.

Thursday – A little Personal – Lucy and Twiggy on the Beach

January 31, 2019January 30, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 71 Comments

“Hey, Lucy. Check it out. What is that?

“Let me get closer.”

“Gee I should walk backward so you can keep up.”

“Very funny, youngster.”

“What is it, Lucy?”

“This is what humans call a sand castle.”

“Yikes. Look at that skull.”

“How do you know about skulls?”

“Everyone knows about skulls. Look at the starfish.”

“You amaze me Little One.”

“Now there is something you should go after.”

“What are you talking about, Lucy?”

“Those birds over there.”

“You think Mama would let me?”

“Maybe not. Look there.”

“What is it, Lucy?”

“A road grader, Little Potato.”

“Come on let’s go get it.”

“That’s not something you want to catch, Twiggy.”

“Aw come on. It looks like fun.”

“I see our golf cart is between you and the grader. That’s a good thing.”

“Aw, gee. You mean I won’t be able to catch it?”

“Thank heavens Little One. Thank Heavens.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

January 30, 2019January 29, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 46 Comments

“Is it Friday?”
“No, it’s Wednesday.”
“I’ll continue with my sunbath until Friday then.”

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we saw Larry try to contact Gloria about how to get evidence on Cortez. We were all surprised to find out Gloria was on holiday. Our biggest shock was the knowledge that spirits take holidays. Before he left Micki’s shop, she suggested that he try to get the goods on one of Cortez’s confidants and then have the confidant supply information on Cortez. I believe the phrase is “rat out Cortez.” Larry is just getting back to his office where Andrew is waiting.

“Hey, Andrew.”

“You look pretty glum chum.”

“Longfellow you are not. I just came from Micki’s shop.”

“Micki? Ah, a delightful person.”

“She gives you her best.”

“I wish I had gone with you.”

“For more tea?”

“You are funny, Larry. How’d you know about tea?”

“She offered me a cup.”

“A cup? She was really talking about tea then.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, never mind. Did you get in touch with Gloria?”

“No, she was on vacation.”

“Excuse me? I’ve never heard of a spirit going on vacation.”

“Yeah, spare me. I have a headache.”

“So what’s our next move?”

“Let’s get a list of all of Cortez’s closest associates. I think we can nab one of them for something and get him to turn state’s evidence in exchange for information on Cortez’s involvement with the murder.”

“So, you really think he killed Sandusky?”

“If not, I’m certain he ordered it.”

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take one of those criminals off the street.”

“We have to get someone high enough in his organization to make it meaningful.”

“You got the list?”

“Let’s sit down at my computer, and you can look over my shoulder while I go through the Cortez file.”

“I didn’t know you had a Cortez file.”

“Yeah, we have been watching him for a few years.”

“Let’s do it.”

“While this blunderbuss is warming up, would you be so kind as to get us a cup of coffee.”

“Wonderful idea, Boss. Be right back.”

“Of course, the phone. Hello. Yes, this is detective Dunfee.”

“I’m back.”

“Hush. It’s Cortez’ office. Yes, I’m here. What can I do for you? Of course. Three o’clock. That would be fine. Thank you. Goodbye.”

“What the hell?”

“Cortez is coming over for a visit.”

“You must be kidding.”

“Three o’clock. I think he is worried.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 204 by Keith Channing.

January 29, 2019January 28, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 58 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

“Shush.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to determine what is behind the door and I need to listen with no noise from you.”

“All I was doing was breathing.”

“You were snoring.”

“Was not.”

“Please hush now.”

“Okay, but I don’t hear anything.”

“From where you are I’m not surprised.”

“I’ll have you know that Russell Terriers have a very keen sense of hearing.”

“Blah, blah, blah. Now be quiet.”

“Oh.”

“What now?”

“I hear something.”

“Yeah sure, you do.”

“I do. I wish the folks were at home.”

“Why?”

“What’s the use of barking if there is no one to hear.”

“Says the terrier philosopher.”

“I mean it. Maybe we should put up an alarm anyway.”

“I wish you would be quiet.”

“Fine.”

“I think it is a wolf.”

“Yeah right?”

“I’m serious.”

“I’m staying in this bed then. You go get him.”

“You know I can’t open doors, right?”

“Then let’s just wait until he goes away.”

“Not very dog-like.”

“But no one will know if we bark.”

“The wolf will.”

“Good enough for me. Here goes.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do While Women Prohibitionists Smash 12 Saloons in Kansas in 1901

January 28, 2019January 27, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 69 Comments

This post continues the Top Ten Things Not to Do with a historical background. This week is the anniversary of the 1901 smashing of twelve saloons in Kansas by women prohibitionists lead by Carrie Nation. If you have the ability to time travel to that event this list is designed to keep you out of trouble.

10 If you are there with Carrie Nation, do not try to sneak a sip from your flask of Jack Daniels. If you do, at best you’ll be unseen. At worst, the prohibitionist will be tempted to treat you like a piece of the bar. ( You should have thought about that drink, Garbhan. Maybe the fact that everyone was wielding a hatchet might have given you a hint. Lucky you got hit with the dull end.)

9 If you are there with Carrie Nation, do not try to hold on to your bottle while Tiny the WWF champ is attempting to pull it from your hand. If you do, at best it will slip out. At worst, Tiny who just lost his last marble in a game has no intention of losing a tug of war over a bottle of bourbon. (Best to let him have it, Garet. His big hand is on your head, and he is getting ready to squeeze. I’ve seen him open cantaloupes this way)

8 If you are there with Carrie Nation, do not wear your “One Man One Vote” T-shirt. If you do, at best you can talk fast and save yourself. At worst, it will be assumed you are not in favor of women’s suffrage. (That would be like wearing a honey coated shirt to a bear convention, Garrard. Just not done.)

7 If you are there with Carrie Nation, do not shed a tear as all those bottles of booze get smashed. If you do, at best they may think something got in your eye. At worst, you might be mistaken for an anti-temperance person. (Getting tossed out of the bar on your ear is better than a lot of possibilities, Garrson. Consider yourself lucky.)

6 If you are there with Carrie Nation, do not try to sing hymns if you don’t know the words. If you do, at best someone may find you a hymnal. At worst, the group may consider you an outsider and want you gone. (If you had only hummed the tune, you would have been home free, Garton. BTW it is “Bringing in the Sheaves” not “Hide the Shives.”

5 If you are with Carrie Nation, do offer to order take out after the “hatchetations.” If you do, at best no one will understand what you mean. At worst, you will give your time traveler status away. (There are still a lot of people who believe in witches, Garwood. Looks like a big pile of firewood is left from the bar. I think I would book out of there.)

4 If you are with Carrie Nation, do not start talking about the Kansas City Chiefs while chopping up saloons. If you do, at best you will be ignored. At worst, someone will ask you what you are talking about. (Since the Kansas City Chiefs were named in 1963 you are a little ahead of yourself, Gavino. Also, Ms. Nation wants to speak in private. Never a good thing.)

3 If you are with Carrie Nation, do not mistakenly call her Lizzy Bordon. If you do at best, she never heard of Lizzy. At worst, since Lizzy became famous in 1892, Carrie is well aware of who she is. (Good luck trying to explain it was the hatchet that made you make the mistake, Gearald. You see Lizzy was accused of using an ax to commit murder.)

2 If you are with Carrie Nation, do not argue with her when she claims to have invented the airplane. If you do, at best she will tire of trying to convince you. At worst, she will tire of you. (You have to remember she is the one with the hatchet, Gedalyahu. You’ve seen that look in her eye before.)

1 If you are with Carrie Nation, try not to be arrested by the police. If you do, at best you are only charged with a misdemeanor. At worst, the police have decided to make an example of the Carrie Nation and her band. (The judge has given you a fine that amounts to over $15,000 in today’s money, Gennadi. I think you should hot the time travel button and get out of there. I hope you didn’t give them your real name.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Potpourri

January 27, 2019January 26, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

Today is a sampling of some things. I started with the idea of face boards and then got a little distracted with other things along the way. I hope you enjoy today’s tour.