Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

May 31, 2017May 30, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

Hump Day

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we left Alice and Mrs. Murphy having a small disagreement about who is going to sign the hospital papers. The important point here is Lucas needs the surgery, and the hospital can’t do anything without the authorization. So while the two argue poor Lucas is laying in the ER in a state of limbo. Let’s go to the hospital and see if these two will come to their senses and Lucas can get the treatment he needs.

“I said, Ladies, please. You two will need to stop arguing. I need Mrs. Murphy’s signature right now, or there is a chance Lucas is not going to recover.”
“Yes, Alice. Why don’t you take your cougar butt out of here.”
“Oh, look who’s talking? The over the hill heifer in heat.”
“If I weren’t such a lady I would make you take that back.”
“Lady of the night you mean.”
“Okay, that’s it, ladies. Mrs. Weston, you need to leave.”
“I’ll go, but Y’all have not heard the end of this.”
“Just go, Alice. Think of Lucas.”
“I’m thinking of Lucas. In fact, I’m trying to figure out how to keep him safe from you.”
“Oh please. I’m his employer, not some tramp trying to get him in bed.”
“You can go on kidding yourself Harriet, but you are not fooling me. You would take advantage of that poor boy if you could.”
“Enough now Mrs. Weston. Please go through that door and wait in the waiting room. We will give you an update as soon as we know anything.”
“Thank you, nurse Campbell. Take care of him.”
“We will.”
“Where do I sign?”
“Right here.”
“There you are. What else should I do?”
“I think you should wait with Mrs. Weston. I hope you two won’t kill each other.”
“Oh, that? Don’t worry. We have known each other a long time. We have a strange relationship but are harmless.”
“That is good to know.”
“How long until we get information about Lucas.”
“The surgery should take about two hours. He should be awake fully an hour after that so I would say three hours.”
“Thank you, Nurse Campbell.”
“You are welcome Mrs. Murphy.”

Tuesday Anything Possible – Creative Kue #125 by Keith Channing

May 30, 2017May 29, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 42 Comments

In Keith’s words to let you know what’s going on. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo

Kreative Kue #125

Whoops by John W. Howell © 2107

“Okay steady as it goes.”

“Man, this new computer does all the work.”

“Don’t get over-confident. Keep your hands on the controls.”

“I know, I know. I’m just saying this thing is so easy to fly with the new computer.”

“I agree, but we need to be on guard for any malfunction.”

“Yes, so true. What’s our position?”

“We are two minutes from touchdown at cruise speed. We have just passed the Earth’s moon and are heading for a place called North America.”

“North America. I studied that area. Filled with some humans, right?”

“Yeah. Unfortunately. That’s is why we are landing while our site is on the dark side. We can avoid them.”

“So this site is in North America, but specifically we are on a trajectory to land at location Alpha.”

“That is correct.”

“Alpha is the name of a place?”

“No, it is just a designation.”

“But one with no obstructions.”

“Yes.”

“When was the last survey completed?”

“Just last month. There is nothing there but a few natives. It is one big island.”

“Do we know the Earth year at landing point Alpha.”

“Let me see. Yes, the year is 2017.”

“And what was the Earth year on the survey?”

“Here it is. 1617.”

“Wait. That is four hundred Earth years. Do you think there will be any changes.”

“Are you kidding? Those primitives? Not a chance.”

“Does the island have a name?”

“Well, the indigenous people call it Manhatten.”

“How do we know that?”

“The survey team sent back that information.”

“Oh okay. Looks like thirty seconds till touchdown. Initiating automatic landing sequence. All we have to do is sit back and—Wait what are all those lights?”

“Whoops.”

Top Ten things Not to Do on Memorial Day

May 29, 2017May 26, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

As you know, I would normally have a Top Ten list which contains tongue in cheek advice on how to behave under certain circumstances.

Today I only have one thing on the list that I could repeat ten times (but I won’t).

On Memorial Day, do not go through the day without remembering those who gave their lives so that we can continue to celebrate such a beautiful remembrance.

Here is wishing you a peaceful day filled with gratitude.

Views of the Neighborhood

May 28, 2017May 26, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 100 Comments

On Friday we had a special ship come through the Corpus Christi Channel.

The VLC Anne, reportedly the biggest ship that’s ever been in the Gulf of Mexico, entered the channel about 7:15 am

The ship is 1,093 feet and can carry up to 2 million barrels of oil.The ship headed from the Gulf to Occidental Petroleum, also known as Oxychem, in Ingleside.Nine-hundred thousand barrels of crude oil will be loaded in Ingleside, and the ship then will head offshore, where an additional 300,000 barrels will be transferred onto the ship. The reason this needs to be done is the Channel is not deep enough to .accommodate the fully loaded vessel. Most vessels carry only 300,000 barrels in total. Loading at the Ingleside dock saves about seventy-five cents a barrel.

This first photo is a condo near the entrance to the channel. I took this picture so you can get an idea of the scale of the ship. The condo is six stories tall

Anne

Here is the bow of the ship

And the rest. The Anne is registered in Marseilles, France.

The Anne is accompanied by three ocean-going tugs. The tug in front is spraying water. This is a salute of welcome to the Anne.

Here is another shot without the zoom.

Here is a shot of the tug itself

One more photo of the ship.

Here is a closeup of the bridge. Notice the instructions to the crew. Also, note how high the Anne is riding in the water

I took this photo to show the size of a crew member (in orange near the middle of the photo)

A final shot that includes the mothballed drilling rigs.

I hope you enjoyed the visit.

Friday JohnKu – AKA TGIF

May 26, 2017May 25, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 39 Comments

Funny Friday

Another week has bit the dust. (wait, maybe that should be bitten the dust. Oh well) I hope it was a good one. I made some progress on the latest WIP and am feeling good about the story. I was going to jump into the edited version of Circumstances of Childhood but ran out of time. I don’t have much new information on the Amazon Marketing Service. The impressions are huge but the clicks are few. I don’t have a handle on how to turn impressions into clicks and clicks into sales. I have launched the latest with over 800 key words. This has helped the impressions but little else. The campaign runs until June 16th so I’m going to let it ride.

Today’s JohnKu talks about wanting to do one thing and then doing another. I hope you all have a wonderful week.

What Happened? by John W. Howell

The plan for today,

Was doing work over there. . .

Why am I still here?

Thursday – A Little Personal – Lucy Lament

May 25, 2017May 25, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 59 Comments

Lucy

“Hi, Boss.”

“Hi Lucy. What’s up?”

Lucy

“It’s Stella.”

“What about Stella?”

“She’s making faces at me.”

“Bailey?”

Bailey

“Yes?”

“You notice Stella making faces at Lucy?”

“Not sure.”

“Okay, Lucy go get Stella.”

“Here she is.”

Stella and Lucy

“She’s sound asleep.”

“Yeah well before her nap she did it.”

“Describe it.”

Lucy Stella

“She walked out of the room and gave me a look.”

“You weren’t bothering her were you?”

lucy

“Well?”

“I’m thinking.”

“How about you Stella?”

“Well John, I have to admit, every time I try to go somewhere these two hulks are in my way.”

Stella, Lucy, Bailey

“So you did make a face.”

“Yeah, so what? She had it coming. Excuse me while I take some of your water.”

Stella

“We done here?”

Stella

“Boss?”

“Lucy I have a lot of writing to do.”

“That’s it then?”

“That’s it.”

“Not sure what to say, Boss.”

Lucy

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

May 24, 2017May 23, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 36 Comments

Hump Day

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we left Alice and Miss Harriet in the waiting room at the hospital starting to square off like a couple of Jungle animals. We need to get back to see what is going to happen should these two start to get earnest about claiming what they see as their property.(Lucas)
“So what makes you think you have any right to be here?”
“Well if you must know, Harriet. Lucas and I are close friends.”
“I’m sure you want to be even closer, Alice. Why don’t you find someone your age to play with?”
“Look who’s talking. You are old enough to be his grandma, you old bat.”
“Call names if you will, hussy. The fact remains Lucas is in my employ, and so I’m responsible.”
“We will see when he wakes up. He can make a choice.”
“That’s where you are wrong cause you aren’t going to be here. Now for the last time, I think you should leave.”
“You don’t have the strength to make a flight of stairs grandma. Don’t make me laugh with your threats.”
“Excuse me, ladies.”
“Yes, nurse what is it?”
“I have a form that needs a signature. It is a liability release that we need signed before the surgery.”
“Give it to me.”
“You are?”
“Alice Weston.”
“I’m sorry, but the doctor advised me to get a signature from Harriet Murphy.”
“That’s me, nurse ah Campbell.”
“All I need is a signature where indicated and then your initials on each page in the blocks.”
“Wait a minute. Why is she signing?”
“Because I’m his employer and have accepted the liability for this mess.”
“And have your hooks into that poor boy forever.”
“For heaven’s sake Alice. Grow up. It is for Luca’s own good.”
“Yes, ma’am just sign right here.”
“Alright, both of you stop.”
“What is it, Alice.”
“I’m not going to let you own Lucas.”
“Mrs. Weston. On behalf of the hospital, I’m asking you to quit interfering. The patient needs the surgery and the longer we wait, the more grave his condition.”
“I want to talk to somebody in charge.”
“You are going to kill Lucas you selfish bitch.”
“Better that than to be your servant you old bag.”
“Ladies please.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Creative Due #124 by Keith Channing

May 23, 2017May 22, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 33 Comments

Keith tells us what to do. “Using this photo (Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here– pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The Photo.

Kreative Kue $124

“For heaven’s sake why doesn’t that idiot pass us?”

“I don’t know. He’s just laying back there blowing his horn.”

“he must know we can’t go any faster. Our animals are needing a rest.”

“Maybe we should pull over and let him pass.”

“Look where we are. If we pull over these camels will sleep for a week.”

“I know but that horn is driving me crazy. The noise is giving me a headache.”

“You sure it wasn’t the three goat skins of wine last night?”

“That horn does nothing to help I can tell you.”

“Well, maybe we can pull over. I’ll signal for a lane change.”

“Oh, my goodness. The infidel is pulling over too.”

“Get my scimitar, Kumar. I think we need to teach this one a lesson.”

“He has stopped behind us. Be careful. That awful horn.”

“I’ll be careful. Let me yell at that guy from here. Hey you numbskull. Don’t you hear that horn?”

“He’s not stopping the horn.”

“Oh dear. I must go there. Give me my scimitar.”

“Here you are. Dont cut yourself.”

“Thanks. I’ll be right back.”

“Sir. Sir I’m talking to you. Can’t you hear that horn?”

“Why yes I can. It that a sword you’re holding?”

“It’s a scimitar. What about the horn?”

“I started about ten miles ago.”

“I know. Why have you been following us?”

“We don’t know the way to the village and thought you could lead us there.”

“About the horn?”

“Oh, yes. There is that better?”

“OMG you don’t know how much better. Why have you been blowing that horn all this way.”

“The man at the gas station said you would help us and all we had to do was blow the horn continuously.”

“I think he was joking with you knowing I had this scimitar.”

“Not very funny.”

“I would say not.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at a Tax Protest Hearing

May 22, 2017May 21, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

Tax assessor

The inspiration for this list was a visit to the tax assessor to protest a 20% rise in my assessed valuation which is the basis for the property tax amount. (This is allowed in the Republic of Texas) I must say the meeting was cordial and we kissed goodbye, (It’s an island don’t forget), yet I have to go to the next level since there was no change in my situation. So, I did not need this list but thought I would publish it anyway. I hope you enjoy.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at a Tax Protest Hearing

10 If you are protesting your assessment, do not enter the hearing with a frown on your face. If you do, at best you’ll get one back in return, At worst, the assessor will assume you are a tough customer and will guard her concessions like gold. (A smile would have put the assessor off guard, Ferd. It wouldn’t have cost you anything.)

9 If you are protesting your assessment, do not show signs of weakness at the hearing. If you do, at best the assessor will think you a push over. At worst, the assessor will discover a “mistake” in the county’s favor, and your tax bill will go up. (You see, Buster it is a zero sum game. One person’s rate goes down they must find a sapsucker (Guess who) who won’t fight an increase.)

8 If you are protesting your assessment, do not agree to anything without thinking it through. If you do, at best you might be missing further reductions. At worst, your quick agreement will come back in the form of a huge increase next year. (Thought it was too good to be true huh, Bunky? Hint: It was.)

7 If you are protesting your assessment, do not snow the assessor under with too many statistics. If you do, at best you’ll confuse the assessor. At worst, the assessor will believe you are trying to pull a fast one and shut down. (You now know property assessment is not a science right, Buford?)

6 If you are protesting your assessment, do not threaten the assessor with eternal damnation. If you do, at best your assessment will stand. At worst, Tiny the WWF champ who has just graduated from The Church of What’s Happening Now correspondence course will believe he needs to physically remove the hieratic from the facility. (That body slam to the concrete smarts doesn’t it, Roy?)

5 If you are protesting your assessment, do not bring in your pastrami sandwich with you. If you do, at best the meeting will end quickly with no resolution At worst, your assessor has not eaten since yesterday and can not function with you slowly eating your sandwich. (So you had a nice lunch, Putz. Higher taxes as your reward.)

4 If you are protesting your assessment, do not show up after building your courage attending happy hour at the Gaff. If you do, at best someone will have mercy, and you’ll be asked to leave. At worst, you’ll agree to an increased assessment as well as free cocktails to all assessor personal after the hearing. (Never knew what a soft touch you were after a few drinks did you, Bosco?)

3 If you are protesting your assessment, do not raise your voice. If you do, at best your assessor will walk away. At worst, the SWAT team will assume you are a person of interest and wrestle you into the transport waiting outside. (You can’t imagine what caused everyone to hit the floor can you, Slug?)

2 If you are protesting your assessment, do not threaten to burn your house down. If you do, at best the assessor will see no reason to reduce your assessment until after it is gone. At worst, you will be seen as a danger to society and helped to a quiet place to recover.(You can’t move your arms you say, Bunky? Must be that straight jacket that is hampering you.)

1 If you are protesting your assessment, do not insult your assessor. If you do, at best all you’ll get is a smile. At worst, your assessor has just completed a self-esteem retreat and is now in a regression mode and can’t help you. (Don’t worry, Tex. The assessor will be assigned to your case for the next ten years at which time your tax bill will closely match the amount paid for the most expensive property in the county.)

Views of the Neighborhood

May 21, 2017May 20, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

Yesterday I was in the golf cart heading into town to protest my tax appraisal (Whole other story). The reason I had to use the golf cart is my car has been held prisoner in the mechanic shop since last Wednesday. (Another whole other story.) I was going to shoot a pictorial on the High School and Middle School here in Port Aransas since that is where the protest meeting was being held. While motoring along the beach, I decided to take a shot of the crowds here for the weekend.

Go Topless event