“Using this photo ( Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”
This post was originally published on May 4th, 2015. Let’s see if it still has legs.
This list was inspired by reading a story about a person who had a dream that they were a Lotto winner and went out and bought new cars before the drawing.
Top Ten Things Not to do if You Think You Will Win a Contest or the Lotto
10 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not quit your day job until the drawing is over. If you do, at best, your boss won’t take you seriously when you give a reason for resigning. At worst, the Publisher Clearing House Award Team will knock on your door only to discover they have made a mistake, and your neighbor with the barking dog is the actual winner. (Fun stuff, huh?)
9 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not brag to your in-laws before the drawing. If you, at best, they will believe you are a little naive. At worst, your father-in-law will present an IOU for the amount of money he has loaned to your spouse over the years. (The bill will still be due even if you don’t win.)
8 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not sign the papers for that beautiful new house until after the drawing. If you do, at best, you will be the proud owner of two homes and utterly broke. At worst, the Federal government will want to talk about the amount of income you stated on the bank loan forms of twenty million used to approve the loan. (They keep mumbling vaguely about something called bank fraud.)
7 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not tell all your friends before the drawing. If you do at best, they will want the money back for the drinks they bought you. At worst, they will think you won and are avoiding their requests for a loan. (Might want to leave town.)
6 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not put off saving for retirement. If you do, at best, you will need to keep working until you have enough to retire. At worst, you will retire and find out you needed to work more, and no one is hiring. (Especially an old dumb person.)
5 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not put your house up for sale until after the drawing. If you, at best, you will sell it and need to find another. At worst, you will sell your house and find you don’t have enough money to buy a similar value and no way to qualify for a loan. (That five-person tent looks pretty good about now.)
4 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not tell your boss exactly what you think of them before the drawing. If you do, at best, your boss will send you for a mental evaluation, and all will be forgotten. At worst, you will say things you want to retract, but you know a retraction is impossible even as you pack for your new assignment in North Korea. (Don’t forget the down-filled jacket.)
3 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not avoid setting up a college fund. If you do, at best, your kids will be so bright and talented they will win full scholarships to Ivy League schools. At worst, your kids will have to take jobs and loans to get through college and will eventually find their way back to your basement since they can’t afford a house while paying back the loans. (You would think they would offer to do the dishes just once.)
2 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not invest in that oil well with your brother-in-law before the drawing. If you do, at best, you have given your brother-in-law a gift. At worst, you will need the money you gave the brother-in-law to meet your near-term commitments since you figured you were throwing the money away and wouldn’t need it. Now you need it. (Good luck in getting it back.)
1 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not finally buy that expensive gift for your spouse before the drawing. If you do, at best, you will be a hero for the thought. At worst, you will have to return the gift and explain why you bought it in the first place. No matter how the excuse comes out, it will still sound like you have lost your mind. ( It would have been good to winterize the dog house.)
Today we are going to visit the Lakeway Enchanted Forest sponsored by the Lakeway Parks and Recreation. Since there is so much to see, we will be coming back next week as well. You may recognize the venue from the holiday display. To fortify us for the trip, we have a catered brunch from El Alma in Austin. Our entertainment will be Lady A (formally known as Lady Antebellum )
Brunch Menu
GORDITAS RANCHERAS
fried farm eggs on refried bean gorditas, chipotle tomato salsa, crema, queso fresco, avocado.
HUEVOS REVUELTOS
scrambled farm eggs, chorizo, mushrooms, jack cheese, crispy tortillas, tomatillo salsa. crispy papitas.
ENCHILADAS DE ALMUERZO
jack cheese, smoky tomatillo salsa, fried egg, queso fresco, pico. black beans.
HUEVOS FRANCESES
poached farm eggs and spinach on corn pudding. chipotle hollandaise. tomatoes, avocado.
add crab
CHILAQUILES VERDES
crispy totopos, tomatillo salsa, crema, queso fresco, avocado. farm eggs, refritos.
add chicken
BANANA BREAD PUDDING
with cajeta
OMELETTE AHOGADO
omelet stuffed with spinach, mushrooms, jack cheese, smoky tomatillo salsa, pico, queso fresco, crispy papitas.
BREAKFAST TACOS
choose up to 3 ingredients
egg, bacon, chorizo, carne asada, jack cheese, spinach, mushrooms, poblanos and onions, avocado, refried beans, potatoes
We are going to serve some brunch cocktails. If you would rather have wine, we have it by the glass. Just ask your server.
MANGORITA
frozen margarita, tequila-marinated mango purée, el chile rim
MIMOSA FELIZ
sparkling wine, mango purée
MICHELADA
dos XX, bloody mary mix, lime juice, tabasco, Worcestershire, el chile rim
BLOODY MARÍA
jimador silver, bloody mary mix, olive brine, lime juice, Worcestershire, tabasco, el chile rim
So let’s get on the bus. I was asked if we should be using an electric bus to help the environment. The bus is fueled by environmentally friendly propane.
Here is a welcome sign, so we must be in the right place.
Looks like an entrance arch.
Uh-huh. A troll bridge sign is a give-a-way
And there it is, the troll bridge.
With trolls.
Fairy rocks with butterflies.
A welcome to Lakeway rock.
A fairy flower bed.
Lots of ladybugs.
Bees on a tree.
A wizard and a snail.
Frog
Bluebonnets and hope.
A mushroom patch.
A little gnome’s house.
Another little house.
A gnome and flowers.
A large butterfly.
With a place to leave a message.
I hope you enjoyed part one of this tour. Next week we are going to look at tree decoration. I hope you can join us. For now relax, have some food and listen to the music. Have a wonderful week.
It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again, and as I was looking up at the rainclouds, I was hit by an envelope. It seemed to come from nowhere, and inside was what I was expecting. Yes. It was Linda Hill’s prompt. Here is what it said. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “may.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!” I have to find out how she does the airmail thingy. In the meantime, if you want to have fun visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.
“Gonna miss that patio.” “Come on Twiggy. We need the rain.” “But why on Friday?” “Just to torture you.”
Another week has flown by. It is Friday again, and time to prepare for the weekend. (YAY)
Before I forget, I have a post up on Story Empire today. I have listed the top ten books that have been banned or challenged in 2020. Also, there is a list of the banned or challenged books from the 100 most significant books written. Go HERE if you would like to visit.
The first 100 days of the Biden administration is now history. The scorecard on promises made vs. promises kept looks pretty good. I still wish the left and right would quit throwing insults at each other. It just doesn’t help anything.
The producer got her second shot, so after two weeks, it looks like we will have some immunity. We are still going to be careful on the three ways to protect oneself — wash hands, distance, wear a mask. We still don’t trust air travel, so we won’t be doing any of that.
I am very sorry for the outbreaks of COVID in India. Such a large population and so difficult to get every immunized quickly. The second outbreak comes after the first and is more severe. Lax preventive care such as masks and social distancing is being blamed on the current situation. I still feel COVID is going to be around a long time.
Today’s JohnKu talks about what is normal. I hope you. All have a great weekend.
“I heard Friday.” “You didn’t, Little One. That was an auditory hallucination. It’s Wednesday” “Sure sounded like Friday.” “Hallucinations are like that.”
It is Wednesday Story Time again, and last week our team found some ashes at the warehouse. It was a Chick-Fil-A receipt. After a thorough search of the warehouse, nothing else was found. I see the group heading for the Chick-Fil-A. If we hurry, we can get there about the same time.
“Okay, guys. We need to have a little plan here.”
“I agree, Larry. We can’t go in and show badges and expect anyone to remember anything.”
“How about I stay out here and sample the sandwich.”
“Nice try, Andrew. Come to think of it, why don’t we get with the manager and quietly explain the situation and then interview the employees out here.”
“Good idea, Larry.”
“Thanks, Mike.”
“Could we at least get a coffee?”
“Sure, Andrew. We will need to order something anyway so as not to attract attention.”
“That’s pretty funny. Three guys who look like they just stepped out of central casting of the Untouchables are trying not to attract attention.”
“Glad you get a laugh out of this, Andrew. Let’s go.”
“Right behind you.”
“Yes, sir, welcome to Chick-Fil-A. How may I serve you?”
“Uh, three coffees and some information.”
“Yes, sir. Anything else.”
“Yes. Is the manager in?”
“I’m the manager. Name is Tony.”
“Okay, Tony. My name is Larry, and I’m with the Boston Police Department. The guy behind me is Agent Moore with the FBI. The guy behind him is Andrew Cummings with the Boston Police department.”
“I-is something wrong?”
“No, Tony. Everything is fine, but we need to talk to you privately about a case we are working on.”
“Case? I-I’m not sure what you mean?”
“Don’t worry, it doesn’t involve you. We have some suspects that we have reason to believe picked up food here yesterday, and we would like to talk to you and your employees. Perhaps they know something.”
“I-I’m not sure the company would like me talking to you without their knowledge.”
“Can you call someone to get permission?”
“Yes, I can. Do you have some identification?”
“We each have cards and badges.”
“Give me your cards, and I will make the call. Here are your coffees.”
“Thank you, Tony. Here are the cards.”
“The coffee is on the house. I’ll be right back.”
“We’ll be outside. We would appreciate it if you could come out there.”
“No problem. I’ll meet you there.”
“Thanks. Tony. For the coffee and your cooperation.”
“I’m not sure he heard you. He was quick to move.”
“I’ll bet you a shot beer and a buck he’ll come back and ask us to contact his boss.”
“I don’t doubt that. If so, I’ll just get a warrant.”
“I would start working that now, Mike. Tony looks to be all of twenty, and if I were his boss, I would want him talking to us either.”
“I’m on it. Let’s go outside.”
“Come on, Andrew. Let’s enjoy this day and a fine cup of Arabica bean coffee.”
“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”
This list was originally posted on April 27th, 2015. Since I have violated many of the suggestions here and have been banned from grocery shopping as well as laundry, I thought a review would be in order. I hope you like it.
This list is inspired by my spouse tapping to do the grocery shopping while she was on a trip. It is true in our house, our chores are divided according to talent. I have no talent in the area of grocery shopping. I cook competently and do dishes (uh, load the dishwasher). I also do not do laundry and not because I have a problem doing it. At one time, we had pink towels and sheets from formerly white is the main reason for being banned from the laundry.
Top Ten Things Not to do If You are Designated Fill in Shopper
The major tenant. If you are asked to shop, do not buy anything that is not on the list. If you do, at best, you will be making a return trip for the returns. At worst, you will need to attend a special class run by your spouse on the principle of wasting money.
10 If you are asked to shop, do not think you are empowered to substitute items on the list. If you do, at best, your substitutions will be a welcome change. At worst, you will have selected a form of something that the entire family has gotten sick after eating one time before. (Pureed squash is never a good idea, Sam.)
9 If you are asked to shop, do not fail to turn in the coupons. If you do, at best, you will be allowed back in the house. At worst, you and the coupons will be making another trip to the store for a refund as well as attending that special class on wasting money. (Take plenty of notes, Nerd.)
8 If you are asked to shop, do not go to a different store without permission. If you do, at best, some of the items will be unavailable. At worst, there will be a big difference in the prices, and your bill will be above the all-time high that will not be a good thing. (That second job is going to be a pain, Pal.)
7 If you are asked to shop, do not think you can ignore the recyclable bags just this once. If you do, at best, you will be able to stuff the plastic into the trash without being caught. At worst, you will be subjected to another long class dealing with the evils of the plastic bag and their effect on the environment. (You may even be sent on a plastic bag scavenger hunt, Herb.)
6 If you are asked to shop, do not think your newness will excuse you from checking out in the express lane when clearly you have more than the required items. If you do, at best, a few people will glower and may even say something. At worst, you will be recognized and reported to your spouse with the resulting discussion on proper store protocol. (Going home will not be pleasant, Buba.)
5 If you asked to shop, do not think you can pack bags like the store personnel. If you do, at best, you will have overstuffed bags. At worst, you might have several bags break in the parking lot, causing a loss of the items that, as reminded by store personnel, are after the fact payment-wise. (No refunds on broken jars of pasta sauce, Ferd.)
4 If you are asked to shop, do not go to the store hungry. If you do at best, you will only buy one or two extra things. At worst, you will have to explain the extra bags of groceries, including what will look like a year’s supply of beef jerky. (Have some more jerky stew, Bub.)
3 If you are asked to shop, do not take any of your friends with you. If you do, at best, you will have unexplained extra stuff in your order. At worst, your friends will talk you into hosting a poker game this week, and you’ll have bought all the snacks and beer. (The explaining of this phenomenon will be the challenge of the year)
2 If you are asked to shop, do not offer to take the kids with you. If you do, at best will learn the meaning of the phrase “no good deed goes unpunished.” At worst, you will have forgotten half the items on the list in addition to buying several impulsive things that the kids will be forbidden to eat. (Marshmallows in cereal is a no-no.)
1 If you are asked to shop, no matter how much you feel you are putting your life on the line, you cannot refuse. If you do, at best, you may hurt your spouse’s feelings. At worst, you will be the cause of a relatively significant family argument that won’t end well in terms of the next time you need a favor. (You should have learned this lesson long ago.)
