Tag: His Revenge

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 54 Comments
“What are you doing over there, Little One?”
“Looking for Friday.”
“You are going to have a long look. It’s just Wednesday.”

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week our heroes were heading out of town only to miss the cut off to the backroads toward the airport. While staying on the freeway, there was some kind of police action up ahead. Larry decided to do a U-turn on the median and head back to the cut-off road. All was well until the sight of flashing red and blue lights appeared in the rear. Let’s get back and see what happens next. We’ve had a week to wonder what this is all about, and now it is the moment of truth.

 

“You think you can outrun them?”

“Well, you know how it works just as well as I do. We try to outrun, and they call for help, and eventually, we are running over a strip of nails and then possibly overturn or hit a lamp post.”

“How many movies have you seen, Larry?”

“Okay, I think we ought to just pull over.”

“You’re driving. I just hope we won’t regret it.”

“Look, the cut-off road is just ahead.”

“You can pull over by the exit.”

“I’m worried there is no one around.”

“What do you mean?”

“Witnesses. Andrew. Witnesses.”

“Cheeze another thing to worry about. That cop is getting closer.”

“How do we know he is after us?”

“Hahaha. Oh, I don’t know how we know. This whole trip has been a series of surprises. My money is on him wanting us to stop.”

“Okay, we’ll do it. I’ll even use my turn signal.”

“Ah, the paragon of law-abiding.”

“Yeah, okay, we are stopped. What’s he doing?”

“That’s strange.”

“What’s strange?”

“He went by.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Now he’s gone. Our judgment is only exceeded in quality by our paranoia.”

“Man. Do you believe this is the first time anything has gone our way? Here we are by the cut-off road and are now free to proceed to the airport. Get your phone to reroute us.”

“Already has. Go down the ramp and take a right.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #256 By Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 33 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The Photo

Kreative Kue #256

Lunch by John W. Howell © 2020

“Look at those three. You would think they are starving to death.”

“I know, right? It’s like they think they had their last meal the last time.”

“Yeah, that last sentence was a little confusing. Oh-oh, here comes mama.”

“What delight does she have for us now?”

“From here, it looks like worm again.”

“Ew. I have just about had my fill of worm.”

“You and me both, brother. You would think she would pick up a grasshopper or something but noooo worm again.”

“Well, I’m not going to open my mouth. I’m going to sit here until she gets something more delicious than worm.”

“Okay. I’m with you too. Zero worm will cross my lips.”

“Uh, sister?”

“What?”

“You don’t have lips.”

“You know what I meant. Don’t be so picky.”

“So we stand in solidarity, do we?” Hey, what are you doing?”

“Mama made me eat it.”

“You could have kept your mouth shut.”

“She was very forceful.”

“So that is the end of the hunger strike?”

“No, you can go ahead and strike. I’m going to take a nap.”

“Fine feathered friend, you are.”

“Crybaby.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Sale of Coca Cola in 1886

~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

Top Ten Things not to do

 

This week marks the anniversary of the first time Coca-Cola went on sale at a drugstore in Atlanta in 1886. Its inventor, Dr. John Pemberton, claims it can cure anything from hysteria to the common cold. This is something we have to try. If you go, please take the following list so that you can be safe from the faux pas that could alter history forever.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Sale of Coca-Cola in 1886.

10 If you go, do not ask for a big gulp to go. If you do, at best, the server will pretend not to hear you. At worst, the police will be called. (The problem is, Kaiser, the first formula contained cocaine and the cops think you are a drug fiend.)

9 If you go, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ and soda jerk to add some cherry juice to your glass. If you do, at best, Tiny will let you know he has no cherry juice. At worst, Tiny, who has been sampling the product all morning, so your request triggers unpleasant memories about not telling the truth about chopping down a cherry tree. (You see, Kajatan Tiny has been on a treatment plan, and your request just sent him over the edge. I think if you start running now, you’ll be out of there before he finds his hatchet.)

8 If you go, do not ask for a bottle of Coca Cola. If you do, at best you’ll get a funny look. At worst, Dr. Pemberton will want to talk to you in the back room. (There is a problem, Kala. You see, Coco-cola was a syrup that was combined with soda water. It wasn’t until 1899 that the first bottle was sold. Now Dr. Pemberton want’s to know where you got the idea for a bottle. By the look on his face, I think I would opt for an insanity plea.)

7 If you go, do not think you will amaze the crowd with an exploding mentos trick. If you do, at best you won’t find mentos and a bottle. At worst, you locate a bottle, and since mentos were not invented until 1932, a big ole mint. (You managed to get Coca-cola and mint all over the pharmacy, Kalani. Dr. Pemberton is looking feverously through his desk drawers. I happen to know he keeps a Smith & Wesson .44 caliber revolver in that desk somewhere. I think it is time to say your apologies and hot foot it through the door.)

6 If you go, do not order a Coke. If you do, at best, the clerk won’t understand you. At worst, you’ll be surrounded by steelworkers. (The term Coke referring to Coca-cola was not coined until 1941 in an advertising campaign, Kalen. Therefore the steelworkers are more than happy to take you to the plant and give you a big ole bag of coke. Your super worry now is how to get away from your new best friends. Muldoon wants to buy you a drink.)

5 If you go, do not mention the name Pepsi-cola. If you do, at best, no one will hear you. At worst, since Pepsi was not introduced until 1894, Dr. Pemberton is thinking you are having a stroke. (Just lay back and let the good doctor put those leeches on you, Kalin. If you try to get away he’ll know something is up.)

4 If you go, do not let anyone know that the name Coca-cola was not trademarked until 1892. If you do, At best, the people you are talking to have no idea what a trademark is. At worst, you happen to mention it to Asa Griggs Chandler. (So Chandler spent about $2,300, which is worth $67,455 today acquiring the assets of the company and trademarked the name in 1892. You gotta believe, Kalle, he never would have thought the scheme up on his own.)

3 If you go, do not order a “Black cow.” If you do, at best, you’ll be asked to leave. At worst, someone will take you out back where the animals are kept. (You know a “Black cow” is ice-cream and Coke, Kami. Since such a concoction was not developed until later, you could not expect folks to understand you even though the ice cream soda was invented in 1874 in Philadelphia. I hope you are happy with your new milk cow. I’m not sure it will transport back here all that well. Those brown eyes are sure cute, though.)

2 If you go, do not talk about diet Coke. If you do, at best no one will care. At worst, you’ll be overheard by the local distributor and will be asked to meet him outside. ( It looks like he has a number of clients who use cocaine to maintain their weight, Kamron. I would not try to tell him he was mistaken. Afterall you now know who he is and that could get you. a free swimming lesson in cement overshoes.)

1 If you go, do not ask for a second glass of Coca-cola. If you do, at best, the clerk will refuse. At worst, Dr.Pemberton will enroll you in his newly established “Coping Clinic.” (Yes, a fiction writer would make up the story that one of the reasons he formulated the drink the way he did was to provide a funnel to his new sanatarium business. Do not deny you are hooked on his concoction, Kanishka. He’ll just use that as evidence that you are besides even if the story is not true why take a chance?)

Views of the Neighborhood – Wildflowers

~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

Since spring is officially here The Producer and I decided to go out yesterday to see if the wildflowers have begun to bloom. We were pleased to be able to find that they were doing their best to bring a smile. I hope you enjoy the walk.

Views of the Neighborhood

On our way to the Greenbelt, we passed a beautiful hillside of Bluebonnets.

Then a bright red display of Poppies.

Next to the greenbelt trail, more Bluebonnets.

A lonely Hill Country Rain Lilly. I’m sure more will be along

My favorite thinking spot.

Some Cedar Sage.

Lovely delicate flower.

I thought this rock looked terrific.

Another unknown

These looked like berry flowers.

A beautiful resting spot with Bluebonnets.

A close up of a bluebonnet.

A bunch of daisies.

A path through the Bluebonnets

Beautiful wild yellow Iris and a few Lilly pads.

The everpresent sign indicating a picture opportunity.

I hope you enjoyed the walk.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Beside You”

~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

 

Stream of Consciousness SaturdayIt is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again, and here is Linda Hill to describe the prompt.

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “beside you.” Write about whatever is beside you when you read this prompt. Not when you sit down to write, but whatever is beside you right now. Take note of it if you think you might forget. Enjoy!”

Thank you, Linda. If you would like to join this fun, visit Linda’s blog, and read how. It’s real easy. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS March 28/2020

Beside You by John W. Howell © 2020

“Man, this is a kick to the heart.”

“What are you reading.”

“I just opened Linda Hill’s prompt.”

“Oh, here we go again. What masterful machination did she serve up today.”

“I’m supposed to write about whatever is beside me when I read the prompt.”

“So how hard is that?”

“All that was beside me when I read the prompt were these two pillows.”

“Yeah, so?”

“What can you say about two pillows?”

“I see your point. Maybe you could lie and say there was a scorpion or something interesting beside you.”

“And go to Stream of Consciousness jail?”

“There is such a thing?”

“Not sure and don’t want to find out. I imagine Linda on a platform with a bullwhip. Not a pretty picture.”

“Okay, so what are you going to do?”

“Well, here is pillow number one. It is black and has a fuzzy texture.”

“Oh, come on. You can do better than that.”

“I suppose. Okay, let’s try this.  It was the pillow that Lindberg sat on when he flew across the Atlantic.”

“Is your nose growing?”

“Don’t buy it, huh?”

“Who would?”

“How about this other pillow?”

“How about it?”

“It has a pattern of grey and black.”

“Can you be any more boring?”

“Ugh. I give up. What can be said about pillows?”

“I think you were right the first place.  A kick to the heart.”

“I think I need to prepare better for the next time.”

“Like how?”

“Maybe sit next to something more interesting.”

“Like?”

“An elephant would provide a lot of discussion topics.”

“I could just see that. Why not a Rhinosaurus?”

“Don’t be silly. Those things are dangerous.”

“I’m leaving you now.”

“Okay, maybe just a parrot.”

“You are hopeless. I’ll be at the bar.”

“Be careful of what’s beside you.”

 

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 65 Comments
“What makes Friday a bath day, Mom.”
“I don’t want to hear the answer Little One.”

Another Friday here in Shelter in Place Land. The eve of the weekend doesn’t seem so special except for all of you work at homers who come Saturday can finally bake cookies, wash the car, and mow the lawn without guilt. Nothing worse than having that lawnmower noise in the background when the boss calls at 2:00 PM to see how you are doing.

One beautiful thing is when the meeting planner decides to do a face time meeting, all you need is a shirt. You can keep the bottom jammies out of sight.

A question. Is it my imagination or does the FedEx guy stare at the bunny slippers when you answer the door?

So I’ve been working at home since 2012 and have a few tips for those of you who would normally go into work each day.

  1. Get dressed. It doesn’t matter what you wear just get dressed in something different than what you wore to bed.
  2. Comb whatever hair you have.
  3. Shave at least every other day if you would normally do that daily.
  4. Go outside for at least a half-hour.
  5. Do not watch TV during the day time.
  6. Eat three meals a day, not just one long meal.
  7. Separate work hours from leisure hours.
  8. Talk to your family before work hours and after work hours. (one bonus is meeting them for lunch which you could rarely do)
  9. Don’t tell your boss how much you love working from home.
  10. Do some facetime with work cohorts. It will keep you informed.

Today’s JohnKu talks about our situation, not being unique. There is some comfort in that idea. I hope you all have a great weekend and stay healthy.

Unique by John W. Howell © 2020

The boat is the same,

Everywhere throughout the world. . .

We are together.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Lovely Weather

~ John W. Howell ~ 92 Comments

A Little Persona;

“So you think we need sunscreen, Lucy?”

“No,  Little One. We’ll mind the shadows.”

“Well, now that we are out here, I want to look at that olive tree.”

“I’ll come with you. Been wanting to check it out myself.”

“You should see all the little buds on it.”

“Yeah, those are the beginning of the flowers.”

“In fact, they say flowers in April, you get a bushel of olives.”

“Flowers make olives?”

Yes, those little buds will form closed blossoms and then turn into olives.”

“You think Dad can use olives?”

“Sometimes he likes something called a martini on the rocks. He puts two olives in that.”

“Well, that sounds disgusting. Hey, what’s that noise?”

“I didn’t hear anything.”

A Little Personal

That squeak. It’s the mail lady opening the box. How did we miss that?”

“Go get her. I’ll be right behind you.”

“Boy, Little One. You sure gave it to her. That was so satisfying.”

“I know, right? I hit her with my double-double bark. I would have loved to see her face.”

“I don’t know about you but I could sure use some shut-eye.”

“Yeah, it’s nice in the shade. Let’s do a nap. The UPS guy is not due for an hour so we have plenty of time.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments
“First it’s sheltered in place. Now you tell me it is only Wednesday.”

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week, we were there when Andrew and Larry met Cortez. He told them that the Asst DA was a person they should check. He gave them the hint to look for a connection between the ADA and Dixon. You remember Ned Dixon? He was the guy who we first met at the company that had the electronic pulverizing machine. Well, anyway we should get with Andrew and Larry. They have checked out of the hotel and are headed for the airport.

“What time’s the flight?”

“Four o’clock.”

“Ah, good. We don’t have to rush, and maybe we should take Cortez’s suggestion of using the back roads.”

“Yeah. Good idea. I wanted to ask you about that whole conversation.”

“I have to say, Andrew. It was very confusing to me too.”

“So, what do you think Cortez is up to now?”

“I don’t know, but I can say one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“I feel better about our decision on getting back to Boston.”

“I think it will give us a little more time to figure this out.”

“Not to mention not having to dodge major ordinance.”

“Ha, haha. Hey, did you just miss the cut-off road.”

“Damn. I did. Means we will have to take the freeway.”

“Wait, let me plug in the airport destination to my phone. Maybe there is another road that will get us there.”

“Go ahead and try, but if I know those mapping apps now that we are on the freeway, it will stick with it.”

“Boy, how right you are. This piece of crap has us on the highway, alright.”

“Just keep your eyes open. Now I have to wonder about Cortez’s advice.”

“How so?”

“If we take the highway, Tagget’s thugs may intercept us. What’s not to say if we took the backroads that Cortez’s goons wouldn’t be waiting.”

“Either way, we have a 50% chance of running into trouble.”

“Naw, I would say it’s more like 100%.”

“Whattya mean?”

“Look up ahead.”

“Looks like a big accident.”

“Or a set up by the ADA.”

“What should we do?”

“Hang on. I’m going to do a U-turn and cross the median. We are going back to that cut-off road.”

“This is illegal, Larry.”

“Well, it is better than having to shoot it out with the ADA’s people. There we are on our way back.”

“Except for one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“You don’t see those blue and red flashing lights behind us?”

“Crap.”

“Well said.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible- Kreative Kue # 255 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 60 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The Photo.

Kreative Kue #255

Light the lights. By John W. Howell © 2020

“Well, we finally made it to Broadway.”

“Oh, my goodness. What a trip it has been.”

“You are so right, sister. We have come a long way.”

“Did you ever think we would be here one day?.”

“Not even in my wildest dreams.”

“When I was a little girl, I used to dance and sing and pretend to be on Broadway.”

“Me too. That’s amazing. We had the same thing going on.”

“I used to put on shows for my family. I even had a cardboard sign with Broadway written on it.”

“Oh, that sounds cute.”

“I would charge my family a penny for the show.”

“Hahaha. I would probably have had to pay my family to attend, so I never mentioned a price.”

“So now we are here. What is the first thing we should do?”

“We need to find an agent.”

“Yeah, and then some auditions.”

“How about an apartment?”

“And some food.”

“Uh, ladies?”

“What?”

“Yes?”

“I think we better get jobs.”

“Buzzkill.”

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do on The First International Airline Service in 1919

~ John W. Howell ~ 87 Comments

Ten things not to do

 

This week marks the occasion of the first international airline service inaugurated on a weekly schedule between Paris and Brussels. The service was established by Lignes Farman. If you want to be part of this historic occasion, don’t forget to take your list so you can avoid some of the pitfalls of time travel.

10 If you take a flight, do not think you can get first-class treatment. If you do, at best you’ll be lucky to get a seat. At worse, you’ll be freezing and caught in many cross drafts. (You see, Knox the first plane used was a Farman F60 Goliath which was built as a bomber. Your seat is wicker and, you should have read the instructions about dressing warmly. Yeah, that’s your breath you see in the unheated cabin.)

9 If you take a flight, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ and your steward today for anything. If you do, at best, he will tell you to sit down and buckle your belt. At worst, he just found out he is being replaced by a female. (It looks like Tiny is going to show you how it feels to skydive, Kade. Don’t forget to ask to borrow Tiny’s parachute. It’s worth a try.)

8 If you take a flight, do not ask “are we there yet.” if you do, at best, no one will answer you. At worst, the pilot will walk back and explain the realities of air travel in 1919. (The next question is “Who is flying this thing,” Kenan. With the pilot standing there giving you arrival information, you may wonder. Breathe easy buckaroo the first autopilot was invented in 1914 by the Sperry Corporation. Of course, we don’t know if this plane has one.)

7 If you take the flight, do not forget to exchange your money for the fare of 365 francs. If you do, at best you won’t get on the plane. At worst, since this amount is about $50 dollars in 1919, you may get charged 365 dollars instead. (You should have known there wouldn’t be a money exchange at a 1919 airport, Kaapo. All they want is 365 of anything. The fact that the $50.00 value in 1919 is $679 today should give you an incentive to exchange to francs.)

6 If you take the flight, don’t ask about the customs declaration process. If you do, at best you’ll get a funny look. At worst, someone will think you are a member of the treasury department. (Since customs for international flights were not established for the first two flights, Kadar, whoever you asked, is now opening the cabin door. I think I would worry since the plane hasn’t landed yet.)

5 If you take the flight, do not expect meal service. If you do at best you’ll be hungry when you land. At worst, since the plane has lightly structured wings, it is susceptible to turbulence. (Can you just see it, Kaelan, you’ve just wolfed down a baguet with Fois Gras, and you hit an air pocket.? You and your Fois Gras will be reunited after a 500 foot fall. Hot meals were started in 1936 and sandwiches in October of 1919.)

4 If you take the flight, do not let the crew talk you into a high altitude record. If you do at best, you may get to 20,000 feet which was done in a Farman F60 later in the year. At worst, no one understood that the oxygen starts to thin at 10,000 feet. (So here you are, Kaemon, having all kinds of fun setting a record and meanwhile, your pilot passes out from the lack of oxygen. Yes that screaming you hear is you.)

3 If you take the flight and are a white knuckle flyer, do not grab the back of the seat in front of you. If you do, at best it is well bolted to the floor. At worst, the seat comes loose and you now have the passenger in front of you in your lap. (Don’t worry Kaga. The flight is two hours and fifty-five minutes. Plenty of time to make friends.)

2 If you take the flight, do not grab any of the control wires running through the cabin. If you do at best it is not important. At worst, you’ll grab the main control cable just as the pilot needs it. (Now the left full rudder has bee stopped, Kai. Y’all are headed for a very big mountain. I would suggest letting go of that cable very slowly so the pilot can maintain control.)

1 If you take the flight, do not say anything derogatory about the airplane. If you do, at best no one will hear you. At worst, you’ll be sitting next to Lignes Farman the builder. (You are now invited to go outside and settle the matter like gentlemen, Kaila. Too bad you are still 6000 feet in the air.)