Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Last Call.”

January 25, 2020January 24, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 52 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again, and this week’s prompt needs an expert to describe. So let’s drag Linda Hill from her warm cozy house and ask her to explain.

“Fine, John. You could have at least allowed me to get my coat, but never mind. Here it is. Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “last call.” Talk about the enterprise (sales or service) conducted by the last phone call you received from a business you’re not associated with (i.e. your workplace), or talk about that phone conversation itself. Have fun!”

Thank you, Linda. If you would like to participate, visit Linda’s blog. Here take this coat with you. The link is.

The Friday Reminder for #SoCS & #JusJoJan 2020 Daily Prompt – Jan. 25th

“Why so glum chum?”

“I just got off the phone with the doctor.”

“Oh my goodness, what’s wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong.”

“Then why the long face?”

“I was given a clean bill of health.”

“And that bothers you, why?”

“No, it’s not that.”

“Do I need to pound the reason out of you?”

“Okay, here’s the scoop. My prompt this week is ‘last call.'”

“The fact that your whole life revolves around that prompt kills me. Go on.”

“According to the rules, I have to take the last call I received and talk about it.”

“Yeah, so?”

“A friggen’ doctor’s office call? Whats to talk about?”

“Describe the visit.”

“Hell no. Not a soul would care. Besides, there are laws protecting my medical privacy.”

“Not if you spill the beans.”

“You keep using ‘spill the beans’ in these posts. Why?”

“Don’t change the subject. What is the problem.”

“I had planned to talk about something more exciting.”

“Like what?”

“Like the new Porsche 911 Carrera Cabriolet.”

“Yeah, that’s exciting all right. What made you think you were going to get a phone call about a Porsche? Those things start at $110,000. That may be without wheels and steering wheel too.”

“I had it all planned. I phoned the dealer and asked to speak to someone and then pretended I had to go and asked them to call me back.”

“No call, I take it.”

“No., Just the doctor.”

“The dealer probably heard of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“They ran a credit check, and your score was so low, Experian was going to bill them for the report.”

“Very funny.”

“So talk about your doctor’s visit. Start with the part where you had to take off your pants.”

“I did not have to take off my pants. Just my shirt.”

“Okay, I’ve heard enough. I need something to kill the image.”

“A loaded gun?”

“Good one. Maybe a six-pack will do it”

“Make it two.”

“Done.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF – Sunshine Blogger Award

January 24, 2020January 23, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

Sunshine Blogger Award

I was very honored this week to receive the Sunshine Blogger award from three terrific bloggers.

Mark Bierman

Ron Yates

Gwen Plano

I don’t usually do awards, but I was so touched that these three would ~~gang up on me~~ separately nominate me for an award that has anything at all to do with sunshine. Well, yes, I’m an outgoing, happy person, but sunshine? For example, I was called a curmudgeon, recently, and it wasn’t by the internalist doing my colonoscopy either.

So the rules are:

Thank the blogger(s) who nominated you and link back to their blog.
Answer 11 questions the blogger asked you.
List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award in your blog post.
Nominate 11 new bloggers & their blogs. Leave a comment on their blog to let them know they received the award and ask your nominees 11 new questions.

Whew. That means 33 questions to answer and 33 to write.

Let me thank each who nominated me and link back to their blog.

Thank you, Mark, Ron, and Gwen. If you haven’t visited them before now, you should. They all have a lot to say and do it very well.

Rather than answer separate questions, let me make a summary statement that will cover a number of them.

I started blogging in March of 2012 and have been doing it every day since. So this year marks my eighth and so far I have over 300,000 views and over 90,000 comments.

My blogging philosophy is to present content that folks want to read. I like humor and prompts. Most of my posts could be considered on the fluffy end of the spectrum. I do this on purpose. Maybe someday I’ll get around to an “author” blog where I can write about writing. Right now, I would prefer to just write and leave the teaching to others.

I am a dyed in the wool panster, and many times on my blog, I have no idea what I’m going to write until the first word. In my novels, I lay out the last three sentences of the book and work to reach them. I’ve done this for six books now, and it seems to work for me.

I get my ideas from living every day. Most of what I write is made up. I do have some philosophical beliefs that wind their way into my stories, but they are rare.

The writing system I use is to keep at it until I have written at least 1000 words. Since I write every day, that is my daily goal in just my novels.

My advice to new writers is to write every day, no matter how much or how little. Grammarly tells me they have checked 10M words since I started. I’m still learning. I do intend to keep writing until they pry the keyboard from my cold fingers.

Thank you again, Mark, Ron, and Gwen. I’m honored that you thought of me.

Today’s JohnKu talks about peer recognition. I hope you have a great weekend.

You never expect,

The day would come, then it does . . .

A nod from your peers.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Lucy and Twiggy Face the Rain

January 23, 2020January 22, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 88 Comments

Lucy and Twiggy

“Okay, Ladies. Time to go out.”

“It’s raining out there.”

Lucy and Twiggy

“I just hate the rain, Lucy.”

“I know how you feel. The boss is not moving, though.”

“Which way you going?”

“Not sure, Little One. The rain seems to be coming down everywhere.”

“Oh, this is great. We have a wind chill of 44 degrees, and the door is closed.”

“Give it a whine and cry, Twiggy. That always works.”

“Here comes dad, Lucy.”

“I’ll put on my sad face. Maybe it’ll hurry him up.”

“Hey, Little One. This towel is for me.”

“You can share. I’m freezing.”

“So now you want to play with Flamingo?”

“What better way to warm up?”

“Hey, boss. Any chance for a treat? We survived the rain of 2020.”

“That’s pretty funny, Lucy. Who is going to straighten the mess you two made?”

“If you mean the mussed up couch cover, pillow on the floor, clownfish, Benny bones, and Flamingo strewn about, that’s all Twiggy.”

“I see a spec of dirt here, Lucy. That’s on you.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

January 22, 2020January 21, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

Lucy and Twiggy — “Friday?”
“Long way off, Little one.”

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we all thought there was going to be a significant shoot-out. We were quite surprised that whoever was intent on shooting Larry, Andrew, and Jerry decided that since the police were on the way, they should take a powder (True Detective magazine vernacular) Let’s get back to Jerry’s apartment to see what happens next.

“What the hell happened to the door?”
“Who are you?”
“That’s my landlord, Larry.”
“Thanks, Jerry. Sir, we are going to ask you to step outside. This is a crime scene.”
“Yeah, and who the hell are you?”
“This ID has my name and the word detective on it.”
“I see it. It says, ‘Boston.’ What right do you have here?”
“Every right. Now, you going to step outside, or do I need to call the police.”
“From all the noise, it looks like the cops are headed this way. Okay, I’ll wait in the hall, but I think you are trespassing.”
“Look, little man. Jerry here invited us in. So, go away.”
“Geez, Larry. Give the guy a break.”
“I didn’t pull my gun, now did I?”
“Thank heavens. That’s all we need you threatening civilians.”
“So, Jerry. Any idea who those guys were?”
“I have a sneaking suspicion. The problem is if I tell you anything, I’m going to end up like Rafferty.”
“You know anything about his death?”
“W-well. I think I know who did it.”
“Come on, man. Spill the beans. Talk to me.”
“Uh, Larry. There is enough time for that. I think we had better think of what to say to the police who I can tell by the sound of silence, just pulled up outside.”
“Large termites.”
“What?”
“Just kidding. Sure would explain that splintered door.”
“We need to do better than that.”
“Okay. First off, Jerry. You are safe with us. We won’t let you get killed. Second, let’s just tell the truth.”
“The truth?”
“Yeah. Like those guys on the highway, someone has it in for you and me.”
“How did they know we were here?”
“Don’t know. Followed us, we guess.”
“Do we have any idea why?”
“Nope, but we sure would like it if the police would put a stop to it.”
“I hate to say it, Larry, but it sounds good to me.”
“We want to keep Jerry here out of it. We were here as a follow up to our questions.”
“Don’t mention Wentworth.”
“Oh, hell no. We can take care of him ourselves.”
“Wentworth?”
“Yeah, Jerry. We need to keep mum about Wentworth telling you to keep your mouth shut. You got the story now?”
“Yes, sir. I got it.”
“Okay, then I think we are ready.”
“I hear some noise in the hall.”
“They are in there, officers. Three guys, and I think they are trespassing.”
“Stupid landlord.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #246 by Keith Channing

January 21, 2020January 20, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6 pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The Photo.

Kreative Kue #246

“What are you doing up there?”

“I can’t seem to find anything.”

“What is the problem.”

“I have mislaid my bouncy ball.”

“Well, I don’t think you’re going to find it u there.”

“It could have bounced onto this shelf.”

“With the ladder in the way, I hardly think so.”

“It is possible.”

“Okay, I’ll admit the possibility is there I just doubt the feasibility.”

“You have a lot of bility. How about you giving me an idea of where the ball went.”

“Let me ask. Who was the last one playing with the ball?”

“Er. That would be me.”

“Okay, where were you playing with the ball?”

“In the yard, I think.”

“So, what makes you think it is on that shelf?”

“A hunch.”

“And you decided to follow your hunch?”

“Yes, that’s it. I followed my hunch.”

“The fact that a bag of treats is on that shelf has no relevance, huh?”

“T-treats. I don’t see no stinking treats.”

“Come down from there. Let me smell your breath.”

“Smsnbrrtlrthe brth.”

“Open your mouth.”

“Mmmbftth.”

“For heaven’s sake. You have a mouthful of treats.”

“Dgtjoegbthh.”

“Drop them.”

“Fine.”

“What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I’m a victim.”

“A victim? What are you talking about.”

“Dog abuse.”

“Come again?”

“The placement of the ladder was without regard to my natural instincts to hunt down the treats. Hello ASPCA.”

“I’ll ASPCA you. Bad dog.”

“Abusive language. I think I have PTSD.”

“Have a treat.”

“Bribery. Class D misdemeanor.”

“You’ve been watching too many cop shows. Go to your bed.”

“Solitary confinement. Against the Geneva convention.”

“So, sue me.”

“First how about a game of catch?”

“Where’s the ball?”

“In the yard where it’s been all along.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at The Second Monte Carlo Auto Rally in 1912

January 20, 2020January 19, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 59 Comments

Henri Rougier and the 25Hp Turcat-Mery before the inaugural Monte Carlo rally 1911

This week marks the anniversary of the second auto rally at Monte Carlo in 1912. We all know we want to go there, and as usual, we need to take a list of things not to do to stay out of trouble. So here is the list.

10 If you go, do not ask anyone when the first rally took place. If you do, at best, whoever you ask will think you are drunk. At worst, you’ll be considered an outsider and non-rally buff. (The first rally took place in 1911, Jan. It was won by Henri Rougier under a ton of scandal around the vague judging rules. You now have the officials nervous thinking you might be a hired Pinkerton agent.)

9 If you go, do not encourage Tiny the WWF champ to join a rally team. If you do, at best, he will ignore you. At worst, he will join, and since he weighs so much, his team’s car could not manage the 22 Miles Per Hour needed to win. (Tiny, who has missed over a year’s worth of self-esteem and body shaming group sessions, is now looking for you, Janus. He plans to practice his new hold. He loosely describes it as the ‘Backbreaker.’)

8 If you go, do not promise to enter a car in the race next year and pay the entry fee. If you do, at best, the price is low. At worst, the high cost of entry will be held for you until 1923. (You see, Janyl because of tensions surrounding the circumstances leading up to WWI the race was canceled for next year. The race did not resume until 1923. Let’s hope you can make it back. That entry fee was very dear.)

7 If you go, do not talk about Peugeots, Mini-Coopers, Alpine-Renaults, Lancias, and Porsches. If you do, at best, no one will understand you. At worst, you’ll give the impression that you need mental care. ( The cars of the day are Turcat-Mery, Gobron, Dunkop, and Berliet, Japheth. Yes, we know you’ve never heard of them but take my word for it. Here come some guys in white coats, and they don’t look like they have a very good sense of humor.)

6 If you go, do not ask to buy tickets to the pits. If you do, at best, no one will know what the pits are. At worst, someone will take your money and show you to an underground jail. (The rally isn’t the kind of race where you have pit stops, Jaran. Competitors come from several cities and end up in Monaco. The idea at this time is to get there first and have the most elegant car. I hope you enjoy your stay in the pit. Pay no attention to that guy hanging from the wall in chains. He’ll try to make you believe he is innocent. Maybe like you will with the next sucker.)

5 If you go, do not ask where the VIP tent is set up. If you do, at best, someone will direct you to a restroom. At worst, they’ll think you are part of a radical political element. (The person thought the letters VIP stood for Vendredi International Partier which they loosely interpret ‘do away with the monarchy on Friday.’ So now the special police are headed your way, Jaren. You may end up in the pit after all.)

4 If you go, do not ask for directions to the t-shirt stand. If you do, at best, someone will point to the North (for no real reason). At worst, you will be asking a secret service person who now wants to know where you came from. (Don’t tell him anything, Jarin. If he discovers you are a time traveler, you will break all laws of the time continuum. Huh, it looks like he is heating up a poker. Yeah, I would spill my guts if I were you. That thing looks like it might hurt.)

3 If you go, do not kick the tires on the Turcat-Mery. If you do, at best, nothing will happen. At worst, your kick just happened to hit the weak spot on the front left tire. (Good for you, Jaromir. You now have flattened the tire on last year’s winner. It looks like they won’t place this year since there is no spare. By the way, Henri looks a little upset, and that monkey wrench in his hand appears very big and solid.)

2 If you go, do not congratulate Von Eismark for his second-place finish. If you do, at best, he may just step on your foot. At worst, instead of confronting Jules Beutler, the winner, he may turn on you. (Looks like you are in line for a duel, Jarrah. It seems there was a dispute on the road, and ole Von Eismark just couldn’t get over it. Just a word of advice. Don’t choose swords as the weapon of honor.)

1 If you go, do not ask Jules Beutler the winner for a selfie. If you do, at best, it’ll happen before he knows what is up. At worst, the police will think you are holding a gun and come get you. (Why on Earth would you take a selfie anyway, Jarrel. Just pulling out that camera phone causes riots in this time zone.)

Views of the Neighborhood – More Plants

January 19, 2020February 29, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 83 Comments

Since not much is going on around the neighborhood, The Producer and I went out searching for signs of spring. Come walk with us.

As we get started we should read the famous signboard in front of El Arroyo restaurant in Austin. Pretty much describes Texas weather.

Yeah, this morning, lots of fog. Sure sign of spring

Views of the neighborhood

Last week we saw a couple of puny artichoke agaves. Here is the grandmother of all artichoke agaves. It is about eight feet across and I guess it to be over thirty years old. Not spring but thought you would like to see a big one.

Views of the neighborhood

Here is a bush that is beginning to bloom. The Producer and I cannot identify it. It is not a Forsythia. Any ideas? It is very prolific and looks like its branches grow up and then cascade down the plant.

Views of the Neighborhood

Here are some red berries of a Hawthorn. Not sure if it is a green bark Hawthorn or not. It looks like it started as a shrub and then trimmed to look like a tree.

Huge agave. Not a sign

A sign of spring is trimmed Crepe Myrtles. They flower from new growth so they need to be trimmed each year. These have been trimmed to within an inch of their lives. There is some debate about whether trimming them this radically produces the best results. Some people call this kind of trimming Crepe Murder. A swing by in a few weeks will tell the tale.

Views of the Neighborhood

Here is a Crepe Myrtle that has not been trimmed as yet.

Views of the Neighborhood

A yucca in bloom. Not necessarily a sign of spring since they can bloom anytime.

Heavenly Bamboo showing its berries

Deer out and about without worrying about those nasty bucks chasing them. Yup. A sign of spring.

Views of the Neighborhood.

The ever-popular Rosemary. Blooming blue flowers.

I hope you enjoyed the walk. Here have a margarita. You’ve earned it.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Last Movie Seen

January 18, 2020January 17, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again, and this week’s prompt is…well, let’s let Linda Hill explain it.

“Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “movie title.” Take the title of the last movie you watched (just the title, not the premise of the movie), and base your post on that title. Have fun!” I always like the ‘Have Fun’ part.

So if you would like to have fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2020/01/17/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2020-daily-prompt-jan-18th/

“So, the last movie you saw was Midway?”

“Yeah. it was a good historical reenactment of the Battle of Midway.”

“How do you know?”

“What do you mean?”

“Were you at the battle of Midway?”

“No. It took place in 1942. I was still not even walking.”

“So how do you know it was, to quote you, ‘a good historical reenactment?”‘

“I read the reviews.”

“Oh. I thought you were going to say you have studied the history of the time and can vouch for the accuracy.”

“Well, I did a little, but that was so long ago.”

“The reviews were good, huh?”

“Well, some called the movie middling and too long, but no one took on a claim of inaccuracy, including NPR.”

“So, you going to use the movie in your prompt?”

“As the instructions say, just the title.”

“What are you going to write about then?”

“I am midway through my post.”

“Tell me what the post is about?”

“I am midway through my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

“More information in the TMI category.”

“I am midway through the day.”

“Oh, brother.”

“I am midway through my patience.”

“So, you aren’t going to tell me?”

“I just did.”

“That’s it? You talking about your midway positions?”

“Yup. That’s it.”

“Duck.”

“Huh?”

“I’m midway to a roundhouse punch that’s going to knock you off that chair.”

“Oh, come on. You know you are midway to respecting my art.”

“And midway to walking out.”

“And where we are, just midway to the bar.”

“Midway to inviting you.”

“Midway to accepting.”

“I’m Midway to asking the readers to forgive us.”

“Midway to a sign of weakness.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

January 17, 2020January 16, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 72 Comments

“Lucy. When’s it Friday?”
“Today, Little One.”
“Took forever.”

Another Friday and another weekend eve.

I don’t have a lot to report this week but was pleased to receive back three beta reader comments. These guys were way ahead of the due date, and I’m grateful for their attention to the book. I am looking forward to the others.

I am working on the marketing plan during this period. I think it will include a tour but more on that later.

We got a little rain this week. Not enough, but every little bit helps. We started the week with cold temperatures and have had record-breaking highs in the last few days. It is supposed to get cold again today. (Okay for you Northerners, cold to us is in the 50s)

Today’s JohnKu talks about the weather. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

It’s something we have,

When it is perfectly clear. . .

Talk subjects are nill.