Tag: His Revenge

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 47 Comments
Twiggy and Lucy
“What is it Little One.”
“Thought I heard Friday.”
“Nope. Just Wednesday sneaking in.”

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week, we were in Jerry’s apartment when all hell broke loose. Someone is outside in the hall shooting at the door. Larry, Andrew, and Jerry move to the back bedroom of the apartment, and Larry lays prone on the floor with a bead on the entrance. Let’s get back there. Since it looks like whoever is out in the hall has decided to come inside.

“Okay, Andrew and Jerry. Stay low.”
“I can’t get much lower, Larry. My buttons are in the way.”
“No time for the jokes right now, Andrew. This is serious shit, and those guys are coming in. What’s left of the door is moving.”
“You three in there. We don’t want to kill you. Just to talk. Throw out your weapons.”
“Not on my life, whoever you are. You want us? Come get us.”
“Don’t be stupid. We have enough firepower to level this place. Lay down your weapons.”
“Are you a history fan?”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“General McAuliffe was asked by the Germans who had him surrounded to surrender at Bastogne. You know what he said in reply?”
“You are a strange duck, detective. I give. What did he say?”
“Nuts.”
“Nuts?”
“Yup. So I say nuts. Lay down your weapons and put your hands on your heads.”
“You must be joking. We have you outnumbered and there is no escape.”
“The way I see it. I can shoot anywhere and not miss. Y’all make a lot of good targets. You want to make my day or what?”
“Yeah, okay, Dirty Harry. I hear some sirens, so I am going to leave you now. I must say you sure are a wiseacre for a cop.”
“You still have the opportunity to give up.”
“Bite me, Detective.”
“Rather, shoot you.”
“Not today. See ya.”
“We are going to find you, and when we do, you’ll be sorry.”
“I think they are gone, Larry.”
“I was just getting warmed up.”
“Do you know who those guys were?”
“I have no idea. I wonder who called the cops.”
“That would be me. sir.”
“Jerry? Good thinking, man.”
“I was scared.”
“Yeah, we all were scared.”
“You didn’t act scared.”
“Just an act, my boy. Just an act.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #245 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6 pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #245

Good Boy by John W. Howell © 2020

“Why is he sitting like that?”

“I don’t know. I think he is trying to show me something.”

“Is that it boy. Are you trying to show us something?”

“Ask him if Timmy fell in the well.”

“Don’t be an idiot. There’s no Timmy around here.”

“Worth a try.”

“No, it has to be something else. Did you take him for his walk?”

“Yes, but he wouldn’t let me take off his sweater.”

“Is he running a fever? Did you feel his ears?”

“Yes, I mean, No. I mean, I felt his ears, and he has no fever.”

“Come on, boy. What is the problem?”

“Like he is going to tell you.”

“Wait, he’s pointing at you.”

“He hasn’t moved his paws.”

“I mean with his nose. Do you have something of his?”

“No. Although on walk, he wanted me to run with him.”

“Did you do it?”

“Yes, for as long as I could.”

“Uh-huh. What was that, ten feet?”

“No. I would say a half a mile.”

“Well, if I were to guess, I would say he wants you to sit.”

“How on earth do you know that?”

“Intuition. Sit.”

“Okay, then. There. Happy?”

“Now, he’s looking at me.”

“Maybe, he wants you to sit.”

“No, I think he wants me to praise you.  Here let me pat your head. Who’s my good boy? Such a good boy. There’s my good boy.”

“He’s walking away.”

“See, he wants you to behave like a dog.”

“I suppose next he’ll want me to eat out of his dish.”

“No, he’s pretty particular about his dish. Do you feel you bonded with him?”

“I’m not sure about bonding, but could we do that ‘good boy’ thing again?”

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do on the Day Prohibition Goes Into Effect in 1920

~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

Top Ten Things not to do

 

This week marks the anniversary of the ratification of the 18th amendment prohibiting the sale or consumption of alcohol in 1920. For most of us, this might not be a trip we want to make, but for historical reasons, we should. Take this list with you so that problems are kept to a minimum.

Top Ten Things Not to Do on the Day Prohibition Goes into Effect in 1920.

10 On that day, do not ask your server for a before-dinner martini.  If you do, at best, they may remind you that alcohol is no longer allowed. At worst, you’ll get some variation of bathtub gin. (Along with the homemade gin, Jago, you’ll also get a visit from some guys that look like Elliot Ness. Yes, those are handcuffs. Enjoy your martini.)

9 On that day, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ if he can find you a pint of whiskey to ward off the cold. If you do, at best, Tiny will bring you some cough syrup. At worst, Tiny just finished the lawman’s course on the ramifications of the 18th amendment. (You are in luck, Jahmar. Tiny has decided not to arrest you but rather to give you his famous helicopter overhead spin and body slam. It is guaranteed to make you incapable of drinking anything, let alone illegal booze.)

8 On that day, do not knock on the green door. If you do, at best it will be a flower shop. At worst, it is a speakeasy run by Bugsy Malone. (So you don’t know the password, Jai. Just tell em Joe sent you. Hmmm, wrong Joe? Yes, that is a gun. I think it is time to leave now.)

7 On that day, do not ask a prohibitionist for a sip of Old Dr. Kaufmann’s Great Sulphur Bitters. If you do, at best, they will refuse. At worst, they’ll gladly give you a jolt. (Don’t be surprised if you feel funny, Jairo. That Elixer was made especially for prohibitionists and contains 22 percent alcohol. How do you suppose they continue to appear happy?)

6 On that day, do not discuss the Mayflower Pilgrim’s drinking habits with a prohibitionist. If you do, at best they will not know anything about the subject. At worst, the prohibitionist will think you are mocking the movement. (The Pilgrims brought more beer than water on their voyage to Plymouth rock in 1620, Jajaun. So you can see that since they were drinkers the prohibitionist might take offense.)

5 On the day, do not bring up the fact with prohibitionists that the participants in the Boston Tea party had fueled up with rum before the event. If you do, at best you’ll get polite smiles. At worst, you will have to sit through another lecture on the evils of demon rum. ( You see, Jakub. The prohibitionist will point to the rowdy nature of the Boston Tea party as the perfect example of the rightness of banning alcohol. Also, they are asking you to leave.)

4 On the day, do not bring up Benjamin Franklin’s ditty about drinking. If you do, at best they will think you are kidding. At worst, you might be engaged in a fistfight. (so here is the ditty, Jalil. That virtue and safety’s in wine-bibbing found. While all that drink water deserve to be drowned. No wonder they got so mad. So next time, understand what you are bringing up. Here take this steak and put it on your eye.)

3 On the day, do not talk with a guy named Capone about driving a boat. If you do, at best he’ll want to waterski. At worst, he’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse. (How does it feel, Jameson. You. are now running hooch between Winsor Canada and Detroit. Sure, you want to quit. Turning in your two-week notice might get you a new pair of cement overshoes.)

2 On the day, do not start a joke by “a guy walks into a bar.” If you do, at best, the person will walk away. At worst, you’ll be telling the joke to Carrie Nation. (To say Carrie has no sense of humor about drinking jokes is to say a lion has no interest in meat. You’ll find the head of the Woman’s Christian Temperance Union has about the same reaction to people telling drinking jokes as a lion to a gazelle. I know you think she missed you with that hatchet, Jamin. Just try to shake your head.)

1 On the day, do not grab your guitar and start singing “Whiskey River Don’t Run Dry.” If you do, at best, the room will empty. At worst, you and your guitar will hit the street. (Sad thing, Jamon your guitar hit the road first and you on top. I think that last note it made as you landed on it was an A-flat.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Some Plants

~ John W. Howell ~ 77 Comments

I was supposed to do a feature, on an embroidery exhibit at the local library. I must have had the date wrong since there was nothing there. So here it is mear minutes from a deadline, and I got nothing. It was then I started looking around and noticed some interesting (to me) plants. So here we are. I hope you find them interesting. If not, well,  let’s hope next week is better.

Views of the neighborhood

I thought these agaves were lovely. These are at the entrance of a section named The Hills in Lakeway.

Views of the neighborhood

A different kind of agave with a backdrop of grasses and live oaks

VViews of the neighborhood

This sign has a waterfall, some peacock orchids against a backdrop of live oaks and junipers.

Views of the Neighborhood

Here is a shot of some typical live oaks.

Views of the Neighborhood

On one corner are some beautiful artichoke agaves

Views of the Neighborhood

Here is a full shot of the bed including a potted artichoke agave.

VViews of the Neighborhood

Here is the opposite corner with the same kind of agave display.

Views of the Neighborhood

I thought this footbridge across the culvert was cute. This is a shot of Lakeway Boulevard looking North.

VViews of the neighborhood

Here is Lakeway Boulevard looking South. I thought this stand of grass combined with the stark deciduous trees was a good photo op.

Views of the Neighborhood

The tree in the grass is marked as are all the trees in Lakeway. In this way, records of trimming and health can be maintained.

Views of the Neighborhood

I thought this live oak had personality given the twists and turns of its branches.

Views of the Neighborhood

No pictures of plants in the neighborhood would be complete without a giant prickly pear cactus. So here it is.

I hope you weren’t bored out of your mind. Of course, if you were, you would not have gotten this far. So there is that for sure.

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “First Three Words”

~ John W. Howell ~ 57 Comments

Stream of Consciousness

 

It is Stream of Consciousness time again, and this week’s prompt is going to take some explaining. Let me ask Linda Hill to tell us what is needed. In her words. “Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “the first 3 words of the first full sentence.” Okay, follow me here. This is what I want you to do: 1. Grab the closest book to you when you sit down to write your post. 2. Open it to a random page. 3. Locate the first complete sentence on that page. 4. Use the first three words of that sentence to start your post, then take it from there–write whatever comes to mind. That’s it! Have fun!”

If you would like to have the same kind of fun, go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder for #SoCS & #JusJoJan 2020 Daily Prompt – Jan. 11th

First Three Words by John W. Howell © 2020

“She snaked her…”

“Huh?”

“The first three words of the first complete sentence randomly chosen in this book.”

“Doesn’t make any sense.”

“I know. But the rules are the rules.”

“Whose rules? Oh, wait. It is Saturday, and you are off on that prompt goose chase again.”

“It’s not a goose chase. It is intellectually stimulating.”

“I suppose you were told to have fun too.”

“Yeah. Linda always says to have fun. She is kind that way.”

“Well, your three words sound pretty lame.”

“I think I’ll make a story about someone snaking their arm around an unsuspecting bystander.”

“Yeah, sounds real exciting, all right.”

“No, wait. It gets better. He cries out as the hypodermic needle is plunged deep into his side.”

“Okay, now it is starting to sound like something.”

“She supports his weight as the poison begins to buckle his knees.”

“Sounds like a thriller.”

“Slowly, she allows his body to descend to the concrete as she shouts for help from passersby.”

“She killed him, right?

“The syringe is secreted away as the first good Samaritan arrives.”

“Someone should call 911.”

“What happened, lady?”

“I don’t know. I was standing next to this man, and he simply passed out against me.”

“My gosh. I think he’s dead?”

“Oh, good lord, call 911.”

“Do you know him?”

“Never met him before in my life.”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough. We don’t have to hear the whole story.”

“Aren’t you curious as to what happens?”

“Sure, but I can read it on your blog.”

“Why not just listen a minute, and you’ll have it now.”

“I hear the roar of a six-pack calling.”

“I think I hear it too.”

“What about your story?”

“Ah. She works for the Russians, and the guy is their enemy. She gets caught and spends twenty-five years in jail.”

“I’ll bet there is more story between killing the guy and jail.”

“Yeah, but as you say, there is another calling.”

“I guess this could be why you are not a best selling author.”

“Could be, but who knows. The first one is on you.”

 

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 70 Comments
Twiggy and Lucy TGIF
“Uh, Lucy. It’s Friday.”
“I know Little One, but it’s raining out there.”
“We could ruckus inside.”
*Sigh*

 

Friday has rolled in and not too soon. This week has to be one of getting things cleaned up, so to speak.

My WIP is now in the hands of beta readers. Thank you, everyone. The comments are due back on February 16th. The feedback will be interesting, I’m sure.

I have contacted the cover artist, and we are in the process of developing the basis for the cover. Since this book has multiple locations and time frames, it makes it challenging to decide a representative and compelling cover. The only constant is a 1956 Oldsmobile, which the protagonists use to move from place to place. Maybe there is a way to work that in.

I have submitted the copyright to the Feds. That’s about a six-month wait.

Time to start setting up the launch.

This week’s JohnKu is about fear, which is plentiful these days. I hope you have a great weekend.

Fear by John W. Howell © 2020

It comes any time,

The result of no control. . .

Take back, and it’s gone.

 

Thursday – A Little Personal Twiggy and Lucy Outside

~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

Twiggy and Lucy

“Hey twiggy. What are you doing?”

“Hiding from Lucy. I’m going to jump her.”

Twiggy and Lucy

“Going to be tough. She’s outside.”

“Oh for heaven’s sake. I better go out.”

Twiggy and Lucy

“Hey, Lucy. What are you doing?”

“I was going to go and have a lay down in the sun.”

Twiggy and Lucy

“Aw come on. There are more fun things than that to do.”

“Like pick up a stick?”

Twiggy and Lucy

“Yeah. I just found this one.”

“Mama’s going to be very upset with you chewing sticks.”

“Okay let’s go to the sun.”

Lucy and Twiggy

“Now isn’t this better. So warm.”

“It’s warm alright. But….”

Lucy and Twiggy

“But what?”

“Boring. Look at this acorn in the rock over here.”

Lucy and Twiggy

“You better not eat it. I’m leaving you now.”

“What? What did I say?”

Twiggy and Lucy

“Hey, Lucy. Aw, come on back. I’ll sit in the sun with you. Lucy? LUCY.”

Visit the New #RRBC_Community

~ John W. Howell ~ 21 Comments
As most of you know I’m a member of Rave Reviews Book Club and today a number of the members are posting a get acquainted message on their blog. In support of the club, I’d like to invite you to visit the ALL-NEW RAVE REVIEWS BOOK CLUB at the new location  RaveReviewsBookClub.wordpress.com.
 
There are good reasons to consider becoming a member. Come visit and see how the club can benefit you.
If you are an author looking for amazing support, #RRBC is the place for you. 
If you are looking to grow as a writer, #RRBC is the place for you.
If you are looking for a community where your peers push for your success just as hard as they push for their own, #RRBC is the place for you. 
 
When visiting, we ask that you #follow our site so that you’re kept up-to-date with all the awesome news that we’ll be sharing in 2020.  
 
If you like what you see after looking around the site, then please, JOIN US We’d love to have you.
Thanks

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 57 Comments
“Now what are you looking for, Twiggy?”
“Friday. It’s gotta be here somewhere.”
“It’s Wednesday Little One. Have patience.”

It is Wednesday Storytime again, and last week we were in Jerry’s apartment, where we learned that Wentworth did not place a call to Jerry. On top of that, Jerry has a smartphone, so Wentworth’s claim that he removed the battery was false. Andrew said he smelled a trap just as the elevator stopped outside Jerry’s apartment. “Get down everyone,” was the last thing we heard Larry yell. We better get back there to see what kind of mayhem is in store. Although you can’t be hurt by flying fictional bullets, I would still be cautious.

“Hey, Jerry.”

“Yes, Larry.”

“Does your door lock when you close it?”

“Yes, sir. I always throw the deadbolt as well.”

“Did you do that after letting us inside?”

“It seems I would have, but I can’t remember.”

“What position is the deadbolt when thrown?”

“Parallel to the floor.”

“Okay, I can see that’s the position of the bolt. At least whoever is getting off that elevator won’t just walk in here. Okay, everyone quiet, I hear something in the hall.”

“They are ringing my bell.”

“Go ahead and ask what they want.”

“What do you want?”

“I have a special delivery for a Mr. Jerry Foster.”

“Leave it on the doormat.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but you have to sign for it.”

“What do I do, Larry?”

“Stay on the floor. I’m going to have a peek through your peephole in the door.”

“What do you see, Larry?”

“Nothing Andrew. I think there is black tape on it. Let’s all move to the back bedroom. Stay on the floor. Hands and knees, folks.”

“Holy shit.”

“You said a mouthful, Andrew. Those guys are shooting through the door, and I was just there.”

“What can we do?”

“Stay low. I’m going to pick them off one by one when they enter. I have a clean shot at the door. Hold on, they stopped firing. I’ll bet they’ll try to come in now.”

“What do they want?”

“I would say they want to kill us all, Jerry.”

“Why?”

“Andrew and I were hoping you could tell us that. That’s why we are here.”

“It’s very quiet, Larry.”

“To quote an old war movie, Andrew, ‘Almost too quiet.’”

“I’ll bet next you’re going to say. ‘Nice serving with you Andrew.”’

“Shut up, Andrew. I think they are trying to open the door.”

 

 

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible Kreative Kue # 244 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 39 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it), in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, ,a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.”

The Photo

Kreative Kue

The Gift by John W. Howell © 2020

“I’m telling you, Pradeep. I’m sitting on a bench listening to the whole thing.”

“Can you talk?”

“They are right behind me. Maybe I should take you off speaker.”

“Good idea.”

“Okay, you are off. Like I said, you won’t believe it.”

“So you are at the Taj. Tell me again what the two said.”

“The guy came up to the meadow stairs with this girl. They were holding hands. He said to her, ‘Are you ready for your surprise.”‘

“Yeah, then what?”

“Here’s the funny part. He told her that he had bought the taj as a surprise.”

“Oh, Man. Who would believe that?”

“Not you and I, but she is still jumping up and down with delight.”

“How dumb can some of these people be. How old is she?”

“I’d say over twenty-one.”

“So, she should know better.”

“I think she looks like she went to university.”

“All the more reason. I hope the guy is happy with one not too bright.”

“Hold on, Pradeep. The couple is coming over here.”

“Excuse us, sir. I see you have a phone.”

“Yes, yes, I do.”

“Would you mind taking our photo and then sending it to my fiancee’s e-mail?”

“I would be happy to do that. Pradeep hold on a little more. This is getting better and better. Alright, you two. I have the Taj behind you, and you look delighted. There. Now, where should I send it?”

“Send it to hrh.palace.saudiaarabia.gov.sa.”

“Okay, miss it is sent.”

“Thank you so much. We won’t forget this. Goodbye.”

“Pradeep? Pradeep, you still there?”

“You would fall into a dung heap and come out smelling like saffron, you know that?”